I step over to him and he pulls me under his arm. I think I missed something in their conversation.
“I’ll see you later, princess,” Captain Saki calls to me.
I’m still debating that.
Kyoya-sama walks me back inside. He’s quiet walking me to his office. I always thought he would be the one to take me outside the palace and roam about the city with me. He’s never offered. Everyone is so intent on keeping me inside and watched. But Captain Saki isn’t like that. He’s right. I can’t pass up this chance to see the real world.
We go to his office. He lets me hang around him while he sets up the interview details. It’s nice to see him work. He has a wonderful telephone voice and great posture. I guess he had a lot of classes too when he was growing up. I remember negotiation class, tons of etiquette classes, and my defense classes. I stand looking at his books on the shelf while he works.
“Kyoya-sama,” I call to him.
He keeps writing.
“What kind of schooling did you have?”
He looks up from his book. I just wonder if all this is natural for him. I see him read and write so much; I know he’s smart.
“Same as you,” he tells me. “Etiquette classes, history classes, I did a lot of math too.”
“And your degree?”
“Political Strategy.”
“Oh, so that means you have a very calculating mind.”
“Yes, I would hope so.”
“Is that why you write so much?”
“Why the sudden interest in my schooling?”
I’m being a burden. I turn around hoping he’ll ignore my question. I stare at his shelf glancing back to see if he went back to work.
“It’s cause you feel like you don’t know me very well, isn’t it,” he guesses.
I nod. That’s exactly it.
“I write cause I have a lot of thoughts. I remember things better and it helps me be more consistent.”
“That’s very interesting.”
“It’s also like therapy. I’m not always upfront with my feelings so I write them down and later figure it all out.”
“Oh, okay-”
“So I rather you not read my journals.”
At that time I felt like I didn’t have a choice. There were no responses from him. I doubted him and just wanted to believe in him again. Still….I invaded his privacy; feel bad about that.
“If you want to know my feelings, just ask me,” he continues.
There is something I want to ask.
“How come you haven’t permitted me to leave the palace?” I ask him.
“I’m just being careful. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I remember the captain told me that Kyoya-sama had an assassin after him. Maybe that’s why he’s nervous about taking me out. Or it could be related to me coming back in cuts the last time.
“Captain Saki told me he saved you from an assassin,” I say to him.
I look back at him and he smiles. That can’t be a happy memory. He laughs; it’s nice to hear his laugh. I always see Kyoya-sama composed. While he’s distracted I move closer and stand at his armrest.
“I forgot all about that. Yes, that’s how we met. That was around the time our fathers starting meeting to discuss the details of our engagement. A lot of people were against it even before it happened.”
“So someone wanted to kill you for it?”
“Yes…but he saved me. He killed the man and ran back to me. Pushed through all the guards and came straight to me with blood all over him. “Prince, are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked me. He was bleeding from his stomach but ignored it just to talk to me. He has a terrible scar there.”
He stops completely looking forward like I’m not even here.
“He became my best friend,” he continues. “I love him like a brother. I guess that’s why I couldn’t send him away.”
“He loves you too. He always speaks highly of you.”
“He’s a good guy in some ways but….he’s also a very sick man.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s just not someone you should get close to. I understand the situation while I was away but…I don’t want you to be left alone with him.”
But that’s exactly what will happen if I go out tonight. He’s probably speaking out of jealousy. Captain Saki isn’t in love with me like he thinks; we’re just friends. I nod to him saying I’ll do what he says. I guess Yumi-chan’s advice worked. But he didn’t get jealous of Kira-kun; he got jealous of his best friend. I don’t want this to be something that rips them apart.
“I better leave you to your planning,” I say to him.
I turn to leave but he pulls me back by my waist. He twists his chair around away from the door and pulls me to sit in his lap. This is embarrassing. Moments like this should be shared between adults; that’s why I feel so embarrassed.
“I know all you want is to be free. To wander around town and country without a leash.”
“I understand.”
“Do you know how scared I was when I heard you almost died? I never felt so afraid. I promise I’ll consider it but not now.”
He’ll always be too afraid to let me out. The killer still hasn’t been caught. He knows that now. Obeying him and staying inside is the right thing but if I go with Captain Saki I might get answers. I might meet that man again and I really want to.
“That’s fine,” I say to him. “I understand your feelings.”
But I’m leaving tonight.
Chapter 61: Ayato
I always wanted to see the princess outside of her robes. Not a big selection here. Her cousin’s wardrobe is way too revealing. She needs to hide herself, not stand out. Maybe if she covers her shoulders with this sparkly little thing.
I don’t have much time. Can’t believe I have another chance to be alone with her. This will be different. I know she likes me; she’s just hiding it from me. Now would be the perfect time to confess to her in person. I have to do it before she goes through with the wedding.
“What are you doing?”
“Hm?”
I look back. Yumiko-san steps into her room. Makes no difference. She dressed up as Setsuna-san for me, now it’s time for Setsuna-san to dress up as her.
“How much of a pervert are you? What do you need with my clothes?”
“I thought we agreed not to ask questions.”
“Whatever.”
She falls down to her bed straight into the pillow. Something must have happened. Not my place to care. I take another glance. Nope, I’m not in the mood for sex right now. Might be getting it from the real thing soon enough. No, no, that would be too soon. Kissing will be for today. We can save sex for another time.
I’m attracted to the princess. I like her spirit immensely. Physically I’m into her too but mostly, I like being near her. If she doesn’t want to kiss I’m fine with that. I want to hear her sweet voice say my name again.
“What are you smiling about?” she asks me.
“Life is going well.”
“For you maybe.”
I dig deeper into her closet and find a dress. It’s small; this might work.
“Can you stay over tonight?” she asks me. “I need you to clear my head again.”
“I’ll be on patrol.”
“Then how about now?”
Maybe it’s a good idea to let some nerves out before I meet with the princess. Don’t want to come on too strong. I drop the dress and approach the bed. No…I can’t do it with her dressed like that. I can’t imagine it.
“Go change,” I tell her.
“Seriously?”
“Go change. You want your head cleared, don’t you?”
“I can’t believe I have to do this again.”
It was good the first time. I could picture Setsuna-san right in front of me. She gets up and goes to her closet. I sit and watch each detail. With her back to me I picture Setsuna-san. I close my eyes and her words come
to me. I remember the first time she was nice to me. When Kyoya-sama left she was scared to be around me. Thought I was the killer. But I stayed close to her and didn’t realize she let go of her animosity for me. One day she let me know in a big way.
“I have a surprise for you,” she says pulling my arm.
I follow her down the hall unsure of what’s ahead. There’s no way she could plan a surprise without me knowing. I know what she’s doing at every moment. We stop outside the dining room and she waits.
“What’s the meaning of this?” I ask her.
“Are you ready?”
Is she planning my execution in there? Her words are always cold towards me like she wants to kill me.
“Close your eyes,” she tells me.
I do as she says. The doors creaks open and she pulls me forward. She fumbles putting me in a chair. I have excellent hearing. A plate is put in front of me. She adjusts it many times.
“Okay. Open them.”
When I open my eyes I see a cake in front of me. Chocolate with the words “I’m sorry” etched in white icing. She smiles next to me clamping her hands closed in front of her face.
“Do you like it?” she asks nervously. “I baked it for you last night.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“For not making you a friend sooner. I really like you. I hope you can forgive me for being so cold.”
She puts her arms around my shoulders and I immediately stand and hug her properly. She’s so small in my arms. I wonder if this is what Kyoya-sama feels when she’s in his arms. It’s warm, very pleasant. I don’t feel a bit of rage or frustration.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” I say to her.
I sniff the top of her head and my mind immediately remembers my promise to Kyoya-sama. I push her away and sit back down.
“Let’s eat,” I say to her.
“I’m a pretty good cook so I’m really confident you’ll like it.”
She pulls her chair next to me then concentrates cutting a piece. I lean over and kiss the top of her head without her noticing. I open my eyes and see Yumiko-san in front of me struggling to put on her layers. I get up and grab her from behind imaging Setsuna-san.
“I’m not done yet,” she tells me.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m just going to take it off.”
I pull her to the bed and it feels better than the first time. My head only pictures the girl I want. I did a number on Yumiko-san. Her head has to be clear by now. It’s enough to put her to sleep. I sit up from her bed and put my clothes back on. It’s late so it’s time to get going.
I walk down the hall with the little dress hidden behind me. The halls are empty. Just guards on patrol. Kyoya-sama is probably distracted doing work. He’ll have no idea I’m getting her on my side.
“I don’t want to play with you tonight,” I hear down the hall.
“Why not? I’m gonna be going back to the academy soon. You haven’t received enough of me.”
“Not tonight, okay.”
“It’s cute when you play shy.”
Kira is bothering her again. She’s trying to close her door on him but he’s strong enough to keep it open. I have to get rid of him. She takes notice of me when I walk closer. Her eyes lock on to mine and she smiles knowing I’ll take care of things.
“I think it’s time you leave, prince,” I say to him.
“You again.”
He backs up and I block the door. I push the dress to her and she retreats back inside.
“This isn’t your business,” he tells me.
“Her safety is always my business.”
“Then what made you drop the ball when she hurt herself.”
I grab my sword instinctively. No, I can’t hurt him. He’s Kyoya-sama’s brother. He has a mouth on him though. Wouldn’t mind silencing him for a bit.
“Don’t hurt him,” she appears from the room. “Maybe he could come with us.”
“Don’t say unnecessary things.”
“You’re sneaking her out again?” Kira guesses.
“He’s taking me to a movie. Did you want to come?”
“Princess, you really should-”
“I’ll come,” he answers.
This just became a babysitting job. I was supposed to make my confession tonight. Kira looks over at me smirking. I’ll ditch him soon enough. She closes the door on us and I size him up.
“I promise your final year at the academy will be tough,” I tell him.
“I’m sick of hearing about that. I’m better off at a real school where I can use my brain.”
He slumps down on her door. I heard he was doing so well. He’s not enjoying it.
“All people do is compare me to my brothers,” he says.
“That’s cause you’re not an individual. You’re so focused on how you can please your daddy. Neither of your brothers cares what he thinks-”
“That’s not true-”
“They respect him and follow orders but they don’t care what he thinks.”
He puts his head down thinking. I sigh and lean against the wall beside him.
“You’re wrong,” he says to me. “That’s not how it works. You just don’t want me to break your stupid record.”
“The target skill challenge? Do I still hold the number one spot?”
“Not for much longer,” he challenges me.
He gets off her door challenging me with a grin. Whatever. No one will ever surpass me with knife throwing. Kyoya-sama has a real burden with a brother like him.
“I keep telling you, you’re not necessary anymore,” he says to me.
“I have the perfect test. Wanna see something?”
I knock on the door.
“Princess, can I come in?”
“Sure,” she answers.
“Uh-what about me?” he asks her.
“No!”
He’s the unnecessary one. I go in and lock the door behind me. She stands at the mirror with the dress on. I’ve never seen her outside her robes. I can see her arms and legs. She still has bandages down her arms but I can see what her body looks like. She’s small. Hasn’t developed a chest like her cousin.
“It looks weird,” she says.
“You look beautiful.”
She spins in it.
“It’s so light. It’s like I’m wearing nothing. It’s not dragging and…I don’t look like my mother. I don’t know who I look like.”
“It’s just for one night.”
She stares at herself in the mirror. She looks like a girl for once. I watch from afar as she takes down her hair. It falls touching her lower back.
“Does it look okay?”
She turns to me with her hair whipping in the air. I’m mesmerized. Taking her out her robes is making her stand out more. It’s making me love every inch of her.
“I’m really excited to go to a movie theater. Please sit between me and Kira-kun.”
“Why did you invite him?”
“When he doesn’t get his way he complains about it. And this is supposed to be a secret, right?”
“Right.”
“Can we go see some animals too? Like cats and dogs and fish.”
She runs up to me with so much hope in her eyes. I’ll try not to let her down. I nod and she hugs me tightly. I dive my nose into the top of her head and smell her hair. My hands slide around her and I can feel her frame for once.
“Thank you,” she says to me. “Kyoya-sama is scared to let me leave. He thinks I might be attacked again but….I’m safe with you.”
I bite my lip to keep from blurting it out. I love her.
“We should get going. There’s a short window of time,” I tell her.
“Hold on. I forgot to pray.”
She runs back to her bed kneeling. I’ve watched her pray so many times. Thanking her ancestors for everything she has. Asking her parents to watch over her, watch over the Niwa family, Kyoya-sama and even me.
I don’t know who I would pr
ay to. When I’m not near her I do wish for her happiness and safety. I wish the same for Kyoya-sama. But I know that Setsuna-san is going to end our friendship. I need both of them but when I fell in love with her it started a countdown to the end. If only I could be him, then I could have it all.
She stands up and runs back to me. I open the door and Kira stares at her mesmerized.
“Uh…”
“Tonight is a secret, okay,” she tells him.
He nods stupidly. I can’t go on with her not hearing my feelings. I want her to hear them and believe them. I want to give her a choice. She can continue being a trapped princess and live with Kyoya-sama or she can be free by choosing me. She’ll know tonight.
Chapter 62: Setsuna
“Setsuna-san, wait up.”
I can’t believe we made it out. It’s so dark out but the lights are still strong. I run ahead of them. I feel so light. I can run now and spin without tripping over my clothes. I hold my hat down as I run. It’s the first time feeling the wind in my hair.
I stop and let them catch up. I’m happy but…I wish he was here giving me this feeling. He’s still stuck at his desk working. Lying to him is hard. He told me to stay inside and he told me not to be alone with Captain Saki. But he doesn’t know how unhappy I am just sitting there.
A woman walks by with a dog and I kneel down to it. It’s my first time seeing a dog. I grab its face and she pulls him away.
“Calm down,” Captain Saki says to me. “Don’t overwhelm yourself.”
“But did you see it. His face was so wrinkly.”
“We’re trying not to stand out,” he tells me. “Just don’t act like it’s your first time on the street.”
“It’s better if she holds onto me,” Kira-kun comes forward. “People will just think we’re on a date. If she hangs on to you people will think it’s a kidnapping.”
“She’ll stay near me where I can protect her,” Captain Saki says.
“I agree with the captain. We have to be careful.”
I hope he understands exactly what I mean. My parent’s killer can’t be too far. If I can sneak away, he might show himself.
We walk the street to the theater. No one pays any attention to us. Kira-kun is walking ahead like he’s being noticed but he’s not. He tilts his head down and waves the approaching women off although they pay no mind to him.
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