“It was supposed to be the two of us. I don’t feel like looking after him. And all he does is whine and complain.”
That’s how he’s always been. I expected some changes since he came back from the academy. The only change is that he knows how to act tough.
“I get the feeling you don’t like Kira-kun too much,” I say to him.
“I never have. He’s spoiled and acts entitled. That’s why he thinks he can just have you.”
I look up and see Kira-kun just ahead. I’m trying to keep my voice down but the captain doesn’t care.
“Truth is he’s the unnecessary one. He knows it. He thinks having you will somehow give him some validation or some usefulness in being the third son.”
If that’s true then he must feel so bad when his brother’s receive so much attention. All he wants is to feel important. That’s why he acts how he does. I catch up to him and grab Kira-kun’s arm. He tries to push me away but quickly stops seeing that it’s me and not a fan.
“What-”
“You’re really getting a lot of attention,” I tell him. “I didn’t know you were so well known here.”
“It’s my city so of course I’m well known.”
Everyone deserves to feel important. I’d give it up if I could. All it’s given me is a lifetime in shackles. Kira-kun wants so much attention but I’m sure he’ll regret it when he gets it. I have a way to give him what he wants.
“Wait here,” I tell him. “I want to give you something.”
I go back to the captain and whisper my plan. He has no problem with it. I wave back at Kira-kun and he looks at me confused.
“Prince Kira!”
I step back and a flood of people run up to him. He gets surrounded and I step away. That should be enough attention for him. But as a result…I’m left alone with the captain.
“C’mon, the theater is this way.”
Walking with him I think about Kyoya-sama’s words. Why did he say Captain Saki was sick? I know he likes to battle. He told me stories about his kills but it didn’t bother me; he kills bad guys. Would it be rude to ask? Probably.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah,” he says to me.
I can tell he’s on guard. I don’t want to distract him.
“Kyoya-sama said-”
“We’re here.”
Is that what all the sparking lights are for? It’s amazing. There’s even a spotlight in the sky. So many people too.
“Looks like a premiere. We’re better off seeing an older movie.”
“A romance, please.”
“A romance? Looking for lessons?”
“Well…yeah.”
He laughs and takes hold of my hand. It’s not weird to be alone with him. We do this all the time. We approach the crowd and I have my first experience waiting in line.
“So how does this work?” I ask him. “Are these people going to see a romance movie too? Will there be enough popcorn to go around?”
“We wait here and then buy our tickets with the cashier. Snacks are optional once inside.”
“Do you have enough money?”
“Just calm down, Setsuna-chan.”
“What did you call me?”
“We’re trying to blend in. I’m just addressing you like a normal girl.”
It feels odd. Normally I’m “princess” or people say my name with formality. This is the normal girl experience. I look down the line. There are lots of normal girls here with their….boyfriends.
I left Kyoya-sama in his office. He has no idea where I am. I was wrong for lying. As exciting as this is, I should go back.
“I don’t think this is right,” I say to him quietly. “Kyoya-sama-”
“Don’t worry about him. He’s fine.”
“He’s gonna be so mad.”
“No matter what you do, he can never be mad at you. This is what you want. If he can’t give it to you then I will.”
He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to him. Still feels wrong. The line starts moving and it’s our turn to buy.
“You sure you want a romance?” he asks me.
“Yes.”
Inside is more exciting. He guides me away from all the commotion and we go straight to the theater. It’s kind of empty. We sit in the back and I marvel at the big screen.
“I’ll be back,” he says to me. “Just wait here.”
“Uh-huh.”
I’m good at trivia. I read the screen but don’t know any answers. Seems different than what I studied; I don’t know anything about actors. Oh! Could there be actors in the theater right now watching their own movies. I see a couple up ahead and a man sitting alone. No movie stars here.
“Hey.”
“Uh?”
A boy sits next to me. Does he recognize me? I tilt my hat down and look away.
“Are you here alone?” he asks me.
“I um….my um….bod-I mean friend is here.”
“Well, he’s not here now.”
“He um…”
Oh my gosh! What’s wrong with me? I don’t know how to act with the public. I’m so nervous. He’s a boy about my age. I don’t really know what to say.
“Do I look like a teenage girl?” I ask him.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m talking to you. You don’t have to sit alone. You can sit with me and my friends. We’re just down there.”
I look ahead. There’s a girl down there. They all look my age.
“I’m Bunji.”
“Bunji-kun?”
“Yeah, what’s your name?”
“Setsuna.”
He looks above me like he’s seen a ghost.
“Move away from her. She has a thing for older men.”
Captain Saki leans over me and Bunji-kun goes back to his friends. He wasn’t a threat; he didn’t have to chase him off.
“Should have known I couldn’t leave you alone without the boys coming out.”
“He was nice.”
“Don’t get too close. And don’t give out your name.”
He sits down next to me and hands me a soda. He’s always protective.
“I do not have a thing for older men,” I say to him.
He starts to laugh. I know Kyoya-sama and him are twenty-three. So that’s seven years. My mother and father were ten years apart. The age gap is common in arranged marriages.
The movie starts. It’s very sweet in the beginning but with this one scene I see them stare into each other eyes in front of the roaring fire. There’s no talking but she starts taking off her clothes.
I quickly shut my eyes.
“Why bring me here? This isn’t for kids.”
“You said you wanted to learn.”
He keeps laughing at me. I don’t want to learn this stuff. When I open my eyes the scene is over and I notice the captain is closer to me. He has his arm around me stroking my shoulder. I look down and see the teens doing the same thing. Uh! They’re kissing too. What kind of place is this?
“Do people always mimic movies when they watch them?” I ask him.
“Seeing other people in love just puts people in the mood.”
Is that what’s going on with him? I stay quiet and he slides his arm around my waist. My face feels warm. He sniffs the top of my head and I pull my arms close.
“Um-is there a bathroom?”
I jump up and exit the theater. What’s going on in there? He’s not acting like a bodyguard. Normally he doesn’t want to hug me or touch me. What mood is going on in there?
I stand outside the doors breathing out heavily. I can still hear the movie in the background.
What if Kyoya-sama was right? What if Captain Saki is in love with me?
“Hey, are you alright?”
I straighten up hearing his voice. I can’t look at him. He appears right in front of me.
“Hey,” he says again.
“I’m not enjoying it like I thought I would.”
“Too much for you?
It’s fine. We can see something else.”
“No, we should just go home.”
“Not just yet. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
I don’t feel so comfortable anymore. My head is spinning with possibilities. What if he loves me? What does that mean to me? What does that mean?
“You’re a pretty girl,” Yumi-chan once told me. “Boys will like you, boys that aren’t your boyfriend. You’ll need to know how to handle it.”
How do I handle it?
“Are you hungry?” he asks me. “Let’s get something to eat.”
“O-okay.”
We walk out the theater. There’s still a crowd outside. I’m so distracted; I can’t take in the view anymore. Looking up at him I feel so scared. Captain Saki is my friend. If he loves me then….I would be happy. That makes me sound terrible. I love Kyoya-sama; there is no one else.
I start to cry and stop walking. He notices quickly and leans down to me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I know,” I admit to him. “I know….you love me.”
“So….why are you crying about it?”
“Cause I’m confused. I’m happy that you love me. You make me feel so normal. You’ve been the only one to…to let me be free. I-I love you too.”
He gets surprised and he hugs me. The smell of him makes my heart flutter. No, I need to make myself clear. I love him like my best friend. I know his love is different.
Under the night sky he continues to hug me. I wipe my eyes and clear my throat.
“I love you a lot but…like I told you before, Kyoya-sama is my love, my husband.”
He pulls away and I wipe my eyes again. This is so tough. I don’t know why it’s tough to say how I feel. Maybe I don’t want to acknowledge that I can see myself with him.
“I’ll give you a choice,” he says to me. “You can marry Kyoya-sama and be a queen still trapped in your own palace. Or you can be with me and just be Setsuna. I would take you away and you could go wherever you like, be whoever you want. And I would love you and marry you.”
A choice? I finally have a choice. I can’t believe I’m even considering. No! I love Kyoya-sama. He will be my husband.
“Don’t talk about this again,” I say to him.
“Just let me know your choice before the wedding. I know what you’re feeling. You just won’t admit it.”
“Please, don’t-”
“You feel doubt. You’ve felt doubt for the last three years. But you’ve never doubted me.”
“Let’s not talk about this, please.”
He stands up and I keep my eyes from him. Yes, there’s plenty of doubt. But I made my choice a long time ago.
“I should get you back,” he says. “I’m glad you know my feelings. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“You son of a bitch!”
Kira-kun comes towards us. I pull my hat down.
“How could you ditch me? What did you two do?” he asks him. “I’m telling when we get back.”
“Show some consideration for the princess,” the captain says flatly. “She just wanted to see some lights.”
Kira-kun looks over at me and I nod.
“We can go home now,” I say to him.
The captain walks ahead and we follow him.
“Please, don’t tell anyone about tonight,” I say to him.
“For you, okay. Did you have fun?”
“It was….enlightening.”
“We should go out just the two of us next time. We don’t need the captain.”
My heart feels heavy. I’ve wronged Kyoya-sama. I need to speak to him. Or maybe, this can be another secret. I look up at the captain. They’re best friends. I don’t want to be the one to drive them apart.
Chapter 63: Kyoya
It’s finally time to head back. At least I’m not going alone. But no one knows how to show up on time. I bang on her door.
“Yumiko-san,” I call through the door. “I told you seven a.m.”
“Uh, just a second.”
She opens the door frazzled. She’s traveling in her royal robes? I thought she hated wearing those things.
“Just let me shower and I’ll be out.”
Looks like a fresh hickey on her neck. She looks nervously behind her. What man could she be seeing? I don’t think my brother is in there. She closes the door and I lean against the wall. What am I being nosey for? Kantarou has feelings for her but it’s over between them. Perhaps I’m just concerned; I want her to make the right decisions.
“Hey,” Kantarou says approaching.
“Oh, morning. I was just trying to hurry her along.”
“She’s not use to getting up early.”
Maybe he shouldn’t be here when that guy comes out.
“Can you make sure she’s taken care of?”
“I thought you two ended things.”
“This is just between us. Make sure she’s okay. What captains are you taking?”
“Just Ayato-san and some guards. She’ll be fine.”
“What do you think they’ll ask her in the interview?” he asks.
“You two are a big rumor. They’ll ask her about that. I’m working on a way to get her status back. I’ll coach her on what to say.”
“She’ll like that. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
He takes a step away and I grab his arm. He’s so plain about all this.
“Kan-nii?”
“What is it?”
“This is really what you want?”
“Chiyo-san will be my wife but I still want to make Yumiko-san happy however I can. And right now that means leaving her alone.”
I let go of him and he walks off. This is so unlike him. He’s not being selfish for once. I support whatever he does but father won’t. I don’t need to know who’s in there with her. That’s her choice.
I walk down the hall. I’m surprised Setsuna-san didn’t run to me this morning. She should be excited about going back to her country. She’s been shut in her room for the last few days. I’m told she gets depressed sometimes so I leave her alone. There’s probably a lot on her mind; she’s still scared about returning.
She stands outside her door with a bag in hand. Of course she’s prepared; she’s always considerate with these things.
“Are you ready?” I ask her.
She nods quietly. I reach my hand out to her and she ignores it. I guess she doesn’t want to hold onto me. I start walking away from her and she grabs me from behind.
“I forgive you,” she whispers.
She forgives me? Is she talking about the sleeping around? I don’t care if she ever forgives me; I know I was wrong. What makes her forgive me now?
She’s done something.
“Thank you for forgiving me. Hopefully we don’t have to have those feelings again.”
I turn around and she nods still holding onto me. Close to tears I see. She’s feeling guilty about something.
She stays close to me as we walk to the runway. Keeps her head down and holds onto my sleeve. The press takes pictures from the gate; it makes her hide her face more. Yumiko-san joins us still frazzled. It’s another farewell moment. Mother and father hug me and the girls. Kantarou looks like he’s on patrol and ignores us.
“Will you make sure the flowers are taken care of?” Setsuna-san asks him.
It breaks his concentration. He turns to us and smiles at her. She lets go of me and stretches her arms out to him. Dropping his persona for a moment, he kneels down and embraces her.
“I’ll miss you,” he whispers. “Be good.”
“You too.”
Yumiko-san is next in line. He suddenly pulls her close. He has to know there are cameras here. I see him whisper in her ear and she blushes instantly. They separate and she stares at him shocked.
“What are you doing?” father asks with anger.
They keep staring at each other until Yumiko-san nods. They separate and he goes back to ignoring us. I’m not ve
ry emotional about any of this. I’m leaving what was once my home and I’m going back to a place that I have control over. The best thing is, I’m taking Setsuna-san with me.
Because I’m taking her, I’m taking him too. The bodyguard who put all those cuts on her body. I’ve never seen him fall for a girl. I’m just letting it happen so I can examine things. Ayato-san stands at the base of the plane smiling at her. Both girls seem awkward. They both stop prior to getting on.
“Get that grin off your face. You’re scaring them,” I tell him.
It is a weird sight to see him smiling. I wanna know what’s on his mind. The girls sit close to me in the back of the plane. Ayato-san stays near the front. I doubt either of them will tell me what’s going on.
“I’ve been practicing my smile like you told me,” Yumiko-san says to me. “I’m just wondering if it’s necessary to smile all the time. If they ask me about the royal massacre should I smile to show I’m okay or cry to show I’m sad?”
“What do you feel when the subject comes up?”
She lowers her head thinking about it. I’m not trying to have them play characters during their interview. The people will love them as they are. Setsuna-san reaches over me and touches her hand.
“I feel okay,” Setsuna-san speaks up. “Mother and father told me it’s fine to move on. They said they’re happy knowing I’m alive and that you’re with me.”
“I’m not as spiritual as you are. When I think about what happened on that night, I feel like such a coward. I was here while you were there fighting for your life. I was here while you were injured in the woods and-”
“I’m happy you were here,” Setsuna-san says to her. “When I heard everyone was gone, I wanted to disappear too. I was scared to be the only one left. But then I remembered you were in Han with Kyoya-sama. I had a reason to go on.”
They both start tearing up. I sit still as they hug over my seat. I’m glad I was convinced to save Yumiko-san. Makes me feel like I’m not a complete monster.
“That’s why I’m so thankful to Kantarou-sama. He kept you safe.”
“And he brought you back to me,” Yumiko-san cries.
They continue hugging. Ayato-san stares back. Seems the sins of that night will never go away. I assume he’s getting increasingly guilty about it since knowing the two girls. I could be wrong.
The Last Princess Page 24