The Last Princess
Page 37
I wonder if she’s having second thoughts. I pretty much blamed her for the incident at Highland Row. She accepted that and chose not to talk about it. She apologized to me for sneaking in there. And since Ayato-san returned she’s been spending time with him. They do innocent stuff but I hate seeing it.
While I’m stuck inside reading papers the two of them frolic about the yard with giggles. I’ve never seen him look so happy. I always wanted him to find someone to make him happy but it’s not going to be her.
“I think it’s fine to let her stay a bit longer,” he says.
“That’s not for you to-”
“Is that Kyoya-sama?” I hear on the other line.
“Yeah, he said Kira just got in. He wants to see you.”
“Why can’t everyone just come here?”
“Just cause you’re comfortable here doesn’t mean others are. You and I can stay. You can show me your old room-”
“We’re on our way,” I say to them.
I’m not leaving them alone for the night. I hang up and go to the living room.
“We’re going to the wedding site early,” I tell them. “Pack a bag.”
“I’m not staying in a haunted house,” Kira says.
“You wanna stay here by yourself?”
“Maybe we can have Naoko-chan protect you,” Kan-nii teases.
“Don’t joke like that. She’s not here is she?”
I better text Yumiko-san. She’s out with Chiyo-san again. I want everyone in one place so I can keep an eye on things.
The late night ride makes me remember everything all over again. I’m recounting all our moments but I don’t have a clear ending. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.
“Stop worrying so much,” Kan-nii tells me.
“After we’re married, what will happen? Her feelings for him won’t instantly go away.”
“Well, your wedding night will fix a lot of things.”
“It’ll be her first time. She’ll probably hate me for it.”
“Are you sure it will be her first time?” Kira chimes in. “We do have a past, you know.”
He wishes.
“You don’t think I’m serious?”
“No,” I tell him.
“Setsuna-san and I have a thing. But I’m willing to let that go because you’re my brother.”
An attempt to seem important. I better humor him.
“Thank you, Kira. It’ll be smooth sailing now.”
“You’re welcome.”
We pull up to the old palace and I feel out of place. I haven’t stepped inside this house since the funeral. I made sure it was left intact. Nothing has been removed or changed in there. Her parents are looking down at me saying I have no business going inside of their house.
I’m going to fulfill their wishes. I’m going to marry their daughter and restore the bloodline. Despite what I did to them I plan on honoring them in my own way. I was going to name the first son after her father.
“Kyoya!” Kan-nii calls.
It’s a lot to take in. I look to the palace not realizing I’m standing in the middle of the guest chairs. I follow my brothers up the aisle and everything feels blurry.
Tomorrow she’s going to walk out that house and walk this long runway. She’ll see me at the other end and see Ayato-san standing next to me. I keep thinking she’ll ask me to step aside. If she knew what he did, she wouldn’t like him. I try to contemplate which one of us she’ll forgive and which one she won’t. It’s risky to tell her the truth about that night when I don’t know which one of us has wronged her more. And….it seems cowardly to rely on that. I could never turn my back on Ayato-san. He would never turn his back on me.
I continue walking and the heavy door closes behind me.
“Scared yet?” Kan-nii says to Kira.
“It seems a lot like the first time we were here. I can’t believe it’s a murder scene. Setsuna-san is so weird for coming back here.”
“She’s strong, not weird.”
I stay quiet and watch them gaze upon the walls. The family portraits line the foyer; all their eyes are staring.
“This palace is all she knows. She was never allowed to leave. And I suppose with everyone gone, this is all she has to remember them.”
“Seems weird.”
“Remember she likes to talk to the dead,” I step up. “That’s how she keeps from feeling lonely. This house is just one big dead thing. She doesn’t find that scary at all.”
“I’ll never understand her religion,” Kira speaks. “Dead is dead. There’s no talking to it.”
I’m starting to get it. The two of them walk upstairs and I continue down the hall. My favorite room is down this hall; the room I met her in. I stop just before I reach it.
“It was the happiest day of my life. I never smiled so much,” Setsuna-san says.
I peek in. She’s sitting with Ayato-san on the ledge that overlooks the courtyard pond. That’s where she once sat next to me.
“No matter what he’s done and no matter what he might do in the future, I can never forget how he made me feel that day.”
Ayato-san looks at her gently. He’s sharp; I know he knows I’m listening. But maybe he’s distracted sitting close to her.
“Sometimes I think he’s a monster like those people said. He probably can be but tries hard not to be. If he would show more of himself to me, I would help him with his struggle.”
I put my head down. She says what I want to hear. She’s too perfect.
“We’ve always had that in common. We admire him too much,” he tells her.
“You think he feels burdened by it? I mean, he’s been alone out here trying to be a king in a place that’s foreign to him. I’m sure he feels the pressure. Neither of us has been at his side to help.”
“He’s use to being alone-”
“I don’t want him to be alone. I don’t want any of us to be alone anymore.”
She leans over to him and he puts his arm around her. I stay back. I want her to finish speaking.
“You know it’s not gonna end like that. One of us will be alone. Depends on who you choose.”
“You said you wouldn’t leave-”
“I won’t.”
She has so much affection for him. I can’t watch anymore. I follow after my brothers. I can hear their chatter upstairs.
It’s like they’ve never been in a girl’s room before. Kan-nii is looking through papers and Kira is opening drawers.
“Whoa, is this how big she is,” Kira says pulling out a bra.
“Have a little respect,” I say snatching it from him.
This must be Yumiko-san’s room. She hasn’t lived here in years. She’s a different person than what this room reflects. I’m guilty of snooping too. I see a picture on her nightstand. It’s Yumiko-san and her mother.
While I’m staring, Kan-nii leans over my shoulder.
“She looks about ten,” he says. “She has the same smile.”
He takes the photo from me.
“Kan-nii, you like Yumiko-san, right?” Kira asks.
He puts the picture down and sits on the bed. He’s ruined it. She wants nothing to do with him anymore. It’s all cause he pushed her aside and made her watch him take someone else.
“She’s still young. She’ll come around,” I tell him.
“Yeah…I guess.”
“She will. You know how she is. Just do something nice for her and she’ll come back to you.”
“Are all girls like that?” Kira asks.
“Just make them feel special, that’s all they want,” Kan-nii says to him. “Although Naoko-chan is stronger and tougher than you, she still wants to be treated like a girl. She still wants to feel like she’s special to you.”
“It’s not like I like her like that,” he says shyly.
I leave them and go down the hall. Setsuna-san’s room isn’t too far. She told me lots of stories about how she would sit in her room and listen for the sou
nd of her cousin’s door. Then she would run down the hall before anyone could see.
Setsuna-san’s door is cracked. I step in and it’s bare like I remember. She keeps all the things she likes hidden. It’s all under the bed like before. Reaching down I feel the box she once pulled out for me.
“The color she didn’t know the name of….the movie actor she wanted to ask me about….”
I continue going through the box.
“Questions to ask Kyoya-sama,” I read.
There are so many. She just kept adding to it over time.
“Do you know how to swim? Do you sleep with socks? Do you like clowns? Will you teach me more Hangese?”
Pages and pages of questions. I was the most important person she had. I want to believe that hasn’t changed.
“No, you can’t read that!”
She runs in and dives over the box. I stand up and see Ayato-san waiting at the door. While she scrambles to collect everything I stare at him. What did they come up here for?
“Setsuna-san, Kira wanted to see you. He’s in Yumiko-san’s room.”
“In Yumi-chan’s room?”
She stuffs the box away and goes to the door. She stares back at the two of us.
“Go greet him,” Ayato-san says to her. “Leave us alone for a bit.”
She hesitates and looks over at me. I nod to her but she stays hesitant. She walks back to me and I lean down to her.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper.
“What are you gonna do?”
“Nothing.”
“Then why do I have to leave?”
Has she picked up on the tension? She looks down at my feet as she talks.
“I don’t want you to stop being friends,” she says to me.
“You don’t have to worry about that.”
She turns back at him then lays her head on my chest.
“You’re nervous about tomorrow?” I guess.
She nods.
“Whatever happens will happen. I just want you to be happy.”
She squeezes my shirt. She doesn’t like it but it’s all on her. Whatever happens tomorrow will be her choice.
“I’ve enjoyed falling in love with you,” I say to her ear.
She pulls away from me and runs away. She pushes pass Ayato-san trying to hide her tears.
“You don’t seem nervous about tomorrow,” he says to me.
I wave him in.
“Should I be?”
“It’s your wedding day. It’s fitting that you should be.”
He starts to walk around her room. I sit on her bed and reach for a cigarette. No, I disrespected this place enough.
“She hates that you smoke,” he says to me. “Says you should try talking more.”
“I know that.”
I stuff it back in my pocket. I don’t need him to tell me how she feels about me.
“You know what bothers me in all this is that….you still don’t see me as your equal.”
He’s at her vanity looking at her trinkets. I wince when he picks up her things so casually.
“What do you mean? You’ve always been my equal.”
“Don’t lie. You always saw me below you. I was your little orphan from the street. Some community service-”
“You know that’s not true! What’s got in your head this time? You’re my friend, you’re like my brother. You’ve been subservient to me on your own. I never asked you to be that way.”
He saved my life. I’ll never forget that.
“I want you to be happy. That’s why this is killing me,” I tell him.
I stand up to meet him. He puts down her perfume and stares at me.
“I see how you are with her. I see how you happy you are. It’s what I always wanted for you,” I admit to him.
He turns his head away. Everyone is trying to ignore what we’re going through.
“Look at me!”
I rush over to him and put his chin in my hand.
“Look!”
He tries to push away.
“You are my equal. Do you see how scared I am? Scared that she’ll choose you. You’re the only man on this earth that I see as my equal, the only one that could take all this away.”
I release him. I breathe out and try to control myself.
“Any other man I would have killed. You would have killed them for me. But I’m competing with you. Whatever happens tomorrow…you’ll still be my brother.”
I turn from him and go back to the bed.
“Kyoya-sama, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t say “sorry.” Don’t be sorry for anything.”
He comes over to me and sits next to me on the bed. We’re quiet for a bit. I wish we could drink.
He takes something from his jacket. I look closer and snatch it from him.
“What are you doing with this?”
He snuck my journal out the palace. Everything is in here.
“Were you going to show her?”
“She should know the truth.”
“No.”
“She should.”
“All this would be for nothing if she knew the truth. She would just run away. She wouldn’t trust anyone.”
“She should know what kind of people we are,” he adds.
“No.”
I’ve thought about telling her but I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I just want to make her happy. Deep inside, I’m certain she knows what kind of people we are. She was in Highland Row long enough to learn a thing or two. Whatever she knows or is suspicious of, I’m sure she’ll hide it so she can keep smiling.
“If you care about her happiness, you’ll continue to stay quiet about that night. Staying quiet hurts me too but it’s for her own good.”
He nods.
“You’re right,” he says.
He keeps looking around the room. There’s nothing here to find.
“Let’s go find a place to sleep,” I say to him.
“Why not here? I’d like to experience a little of what Setsuna-san had.”
“You wanna sleep in her bed?”
“Yeah.”
If he’s staying then I’m staying. I can’t have him one up me in experience. Setsuna-san will probably sleep with Yumiko-san anyway.
“Fine. Just keep your hands to yourself. I don’t want a repeat of last time.”
“That’s was five years ago.”
“I still remember it.”
He lowers his head smiling. There’s still one thing I wanted to ask him.
“Have you been upfront with me about everything?” I ask him.
“No, but I figured you already knew that. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s true.”
So every terrible thing I have in my head is true. I’m really nervous about tomorrow.
Chapter 84: Yumiko
“Is this the right place? We’re supposed to stay here?”
Chiyo-san stays at the entrance. This is my old house. Of course this is the right place. I pull her inside and close the door. I couldn’t forget this place even if I wanted to. Especially not after what happened here.
“It’s fine,” I tell her. “Let’s just go up to my room.”
She shrieks looking at a picture. That’s grandfather. I suppose it’s a creepy picture but I’ve gotten used to it. He was a bug-eyed king.
“Are you in any of these portraits?” she asks me.
“Uh….I think so.”
I haven’t seen my family portrait in years. I walk down the hall and spot it. This is from when everything was all together. My mother and father were in love and there was no scandal. She was the most glamorous woman in Morinaga. I miss those times.
“Your mom is beautiful,” she says to me.
“Yeah, she was known for her beauty. She was in a lot of magazines and stuff.”
I have all her pictures and editorials in a box in my room. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world without all the headlines. Then when the scandal came out I saw her like all the oth
ers did. It was only cause I was so hurt.
“I should make up with her.”
“Where is she?” she asks.
“Living in a condo on one of the outer islands. She’s still in exile.”
“I don’t think what she did was too bad.”
“She embarrassed the royal family. The king had no choice.”
I turn away from the portrait. The past is the past. There’s greater things about to happen. Setsuna-chan and Kyoya-sama’s wedding is tomorrow. It’ll be a world event.
“We have to get our beauty sleep.”
I go upstairs to my room and see Kira-sama hugging my pillow.
“Where have you been?” he shouts at me.
“Were you expecting me?”
“He’s scared. He thinks only a family member can protect him,” Kantarou-sama says from my window.
I didn’t notice him. My mind must be somewhere else; he’s hard to miss. I turn my eyes away as he approaches me and Chiyo-san.
“Can I have a word with you?” he says.
I look up and see him watching me. What could we possibly talk about? It’s finished between us. I’m trying to move on. I invited Hisoka-kun as my wedding guest. I have no business being with a man like Kantarou-sama. I should be with a boy my own age.
“I’ll protect Kira-sama,” Chiyo-san says stepping inside.
“I don’t need protecting!”
“Now now, prince. Settle down.”
I turn away from the room and he follows me back downstairs. His boots match my steps. It’s so bothersome to have him so close. He probably wants to yell at me and put me back to work.
“What is it?” I ask turning around.
“I know what I did wrong.”
He’s admitting a fault. That’s not like him at all.
“You’re special to me. I understand why you don’t know that. I never said it. Never tried to show it. Never bought you a gift or took you on a real date.”
I push my hair behind my ears. I’m nervous looking at him. I take a step back and he follows me. There’s something different about his eyes and his voice. He’s not talking down to me or acting like he’s so much better.
“Yumiko Yamamoto is the woman I love. I’ll gladly say it to the world. You’re the only one I think about before I go to sleep. The only one I can let my guard down with.”
I take a step back. He’s not supposed to do this. I’m supposed to move on.