The Calling

by Rachelle Dekker

  Now sorrow, not just fear, would be their prison.

  They had exchanged one prison for another.

  2

  Selena Carson shut her eyes to ward off the tears she felt rising. She remembered a time when her emotions weren’t so frazzled and weak. When she could live through uncomfortable moments without fighting back tears. When the world still held warmth and hope. But that time had died with her daughter a year and a half ago. Now everything felt unjust and cruel.

  She opened her eyes and saw that the screen before her had gone black. It was over. The young girl’s face floated behind Selena’s eyes. Its soft round shape surrounded in dark curls, the eyes filled with such peace even until death. It reminded her so much of Arianna. Selena felt another round of tears storming her gates of control and she ground her back teeth. Each new execution brought her back to that day, and now she’d spend the next several days pulling herself out of the dark pit that always swallowed her after a mandatory viewing.

  A small hand wrapped itself around her forearm and she nearly jumped. Rayna, her youngest, gazed up at her, fear dancing on her face. Selena forced a smile and pulled the sweet child to her side. The little girl clung tightly to her mother’s leg and pressed her cheek to the side of Selena’s thigh. Selena reached out for Lucy, Rayna’s older sister, who stood to Selena’s other side, but the girl pulled away from her touch.

  Lucy’s face was cold and hard, a permanent state it had taken on since Arianna’s death. She wasn’t even twelve yet, and for her to be filled with such hate broke Selena’s heart. Sometimes Selena thought that losing a child would have been easier if she didn’t have two more who needed her. Having them was supposed to ease the pain, people told her. She loved her daughters more than anything, but they constantly reminded her of Arianna, and their pain in losing a sibling only increased her pain from losing a daughter. Being strong for them felt impossible most days, especially as the city around them dipped deeper into darkness.

  There had been a time when Selena was proud of the city outside the Capitol Building, where she lived. Though she was the daughter of an esteemed medical advisor, she’d never imagined Ian Carson would actually choose her, but when he had, the first thing she’d thought was how lucky she’d be to sit at the right hand of the man leading their perfect city. How wrong she’d been. The fantasy had been strong and steady through the births of all three of her daughters, and for years afterward. But it had started to change slowly as Arianna approached her Choosing Ceremony year. Ian had begun coming home from Authority Council meetings worked up and stressed. He’d started to sleep less, and when he did join her in bed, he was restless. Whispers of rebellion started, soft at first, then grew into loud chatter that caused such fear in her husband.

  Selena had ignored it all. Focused on the lie that everything would work out. Arianna had told her stories of change while Selena kissed her good-night, and Selena had forced down the worry creeping into her soul. Everything would be as it should be; Ian would make sure of it. The blindness was self-imposed, because the reality of the change in Arianna and the city was too frightening to accept.

  And then suddenly Selena was ripped out of her imaginary world where everything was fine, as her own husband murdered their daughter. Nothing had been the same since that day. Not Ian, not the Council, not the city. Darkness engulfed them all. In the beginning Ian had begged Selena to see that this was all Aaron’s fault. The false prophet who was calling people out of the city, the man who represented the foolish call Arianna had died for. But Aaron wasn’t physically around to blame and hate. Ian was. The Council was, and now the cracks in her false perfect view of the city were everywhere.

  She thought this must be what hell was like. The ache of pain that begged her to end it all, that promised her it couldn’t get worse and would never get better. But even that was a lie, because it did get worse. The same council that had joined her husband in murdering his daughter had overthrown Ian, and Damien Gold had taken his seat.

  Selena shuddered as she thought of the Authority’s new president. He was a different kind of monster than Ian. He was handsome and winsome in public, but in her few interactions with him, she had sensed he was filled with more ego and less regard for the happiness of the city. He had started well enough. Even in her grief and shock with her daughter dead and her husband in prison, Selena had almost believed Damien’s promises of justice and renewed hope for the future. But within a few weeks, the sorrow over Arianna’s death that coated the city quickly turned to fear. The huge screens built into the sides of the city’s tallest towers were unveiled almost daily, it seemed. Under Ian’s leadership, execution had been rare—a last resort. Under Damien, execution was a regular occurrence as rebels were caught and made examples of, and the giant screens gleefully displayed every one. As if it weren’t bad enough for citizens to be forced to view them in their homes, they had to endure the sounds echoing through the streets as well.

  Damien claimed to be offended by violence, but it only increased as he served. Dodson Rogue, head of the CityWatch, had been imprisoned on suspicion of helping rebels escape, and Damien had taken charge, adding patrols inside and outside the city and giving soldiers liberty to be cruel to anyone they thought might be involved with the rebels. Boys as young as thirteen were being recruited to join the CityWatch as they prepared for what felt like war. The seasonal Choosing ceremonies continued, but the thrill of the event was shadowed by dread. The religious gatherings that had once held their society together were cut in half and made optional. All that was good and colorful and happy about living in their once-peaceful society seemed to have evaporated overnight.

  Rayna tugged on Selena’s sleeve, yanking her from her thoughts. She glanced down at the tiny girl.

  “Can we go visit Daddy?” Rayna asked, her voice quiet.

  Before Selena could answer, Lucy huffed disgustedly and turned to storm out. Selena watched as Lucy was stopped at the door by a CityWatch guard. “You aren’t allowed to leave without an escort, Miss Carson.”

  Another Damien change that was ruining their lives. Selena felt her mothering instinct rear up in her chest and she stopped herself from yelling at the guard. That would only make things worse.

  “I’m just going back to my room,” Lucy snapped.

  “I’ll call for an escort,” the guard said. He nodded to the other guard beside him, who spoke into the receiver at his wrist.

  “It’s in the same hall—I don’t need to be walked there!” Lucy said.

  “Lucy,” Selena warned, and her daughter turned her head. Tears were gathering in the bottom of her daughter’s eyes, and Selena’s heart broke. She took a step toward her but Lucy dropped her eyes and turned back toward the door. Selena stopped and a long moment of silence lingered before a third guard came to escort Lucy away.

  The girl left, and Selena stood frozen in place. Rayna tugged at her shirt again, but Selena ignored her. All she could think about was finding a way to protect the two daughters she had left, and the only way to do that was to leave this city.

  3

  The journey back to the Seer camp was silent. A somber sense of defeat had settled over each of them. Images of Larkin’s final moments remained etched inside Remko’s mind. Her voice echoed in his brain. “It is well with my soul.” Even in the face of unjust death Larkin had been at ease, as if death had no power over her, as if it couldn’t actually snuff out her life. But then it had, and they had failed to stop it.

  Carrington hardly said a word as they traveled back through the underground tunnels to the spot a couple miles outside the city walls where they had left their vehicle. Wire had somehow cloaked the transponder so it couldn’t be tracked through the city’s main grid. He did that with all the mechanical equipment they used. Anything that could be connected wirelessly could be tracked. They forwent many of the comforts of city living to stay hidden, to stay safe.

  With the death of each new Seer, it was harder to rationalize their efforts.
No matter what they did, Seers were still being caught and taken and executed. The diligent moving of the camp to keep ahead of CityWatch detection, the hours spent hacking into the main server so they could move throughout the city like ghosts, the countless patrols and sleepless nights—it was hard to see whether any of it was worth the sacrifice.

  A year and a half ago, when Remko had agreed to accompany Carrington into the ruins of the earth beyond the city walls to follow a man with a message of freedom, he’d been excited by the idea of new adventures and change. To be forever with a woman whom he’d chosen and who had chosen him back. They’d been married quickly after, a small ceremony when the Seer camp had been less than ten strong. It was a day he thought back on when sleeping with one eye open became too much.

  The sun had been setting, painting the sky with oranges and pinks. The group had built a large fire in a spot they had found behind a small hill where the smoke wouldn’t draw unwanted attention. Sam and Kate had been there, Remko’s brother, Ramses, and his wife, Lesley, along with their easily excitable twins, Nina and Kane. And Larkin. She’d asked Carrington if she wanted to wear a white dress, and they’d both shared a knowing smile and laughed. They’d worn white nearly their whole lives, a color that symbolized their place in society, that marked them as not yet chosen but still filled with hope. It was a color they’d both rather never wear again.

  Larkin had pressed Carrington for details of what she’d like to wear but Carrington had only smiled, a fire dancing behind her eyes as she told Larkin to surprise her. And she had. The day before the scheduled ceremony, Larkin had showed up to camp with a stunning dress. Long, flowing satin to the floor, fitted through the bodice, lace sleeves, dark sapphire in color. Remko couldn’t tell you what Carrington had worn yesterday, but he’d never forget the way she looked in that blue dress.

  Carrington had cried when Larkin revealed the gown. Kate had rolled her eyes because it was just a stupid dress. But they had all laughed. They’d listened to Larkin’s dramatic tale of sneaking into the city to obtain the dress, and they’d been drunk on joy. The following day Carrington walked down a misshapen aisle. Aaron stood up front to officiate, the rest of the group beaming. Remko remembered being caught off guard by emotion. His bride had worn yellow flowers in her hair—he remembered that too. And her eyes were part excited and nervous and part sultry and daring, a combination Remko had grown to recognize but which still made his heart race.

  That moment had been everything. She had become his, and he had become hers. The struggles ahead not yet realized, the dangers they’d already faced left far behind, all that mattered was her in that blue dress with yellow flowers in her hair. And the taste of her lips during their first kiss as man and wife, the way her fingers intertwined with his, the way his hand buzzed on the small of her back while they danced, the elation of sweeping her off her feet to bring her into their new shared tent, laughing into the dark hours of morning, falling asleep together, waking up together.

  Those first couple of months he’d soaked up every second, certain he couldn’t possibly feel so much emotion again, but he’d been wrong. Remko could hardly contain his worry when Carrington whispered she was pregnant. To give birth to a baby out here in the wreckage they lived in seemed beyond comprehension. Eight months later, only days after yet another Seer execution, she went into labor. The camp, by then numbering nearly forty people, had been a mix of emotions. Many worried that a baby couldn’t survive this life; others were excited for a spark of pure happiness; some were filled with hope that a new generation of life was beginning. All Remko was concerned with was the safety of his wife and unborn child. The labor had lasted several hours. To hear Carrington’s cries and not be able to do anything was torture.

  When the sound of the baby crying echoed through the tent, Remko’s whole world changed. In a single moment the world became about more than just surviving and protecting those around him; it became about creating something worthy of the little girl in his arms. A place she could grow and thrive in.

  She’d been so small, with a tiny head full of jet-black hair, bright brown eyes, perfect pink skin. She was stunning. Every emotion Remko had ever felt rushed over him like a tidal wave. He’d sacrifice everything, give it all away, spoil her, teach her, adore her, protect her, love her, kill for her. He’d fallen even more in love with Carrington in that moment, as if this baby had allowed him to open a part of his heart he hadn’t known was closed.

  They called her Elise, and all the doubts and worries people in the camp were feeling melted when they met her. She re-inspired hope and gave the camp a shot of electricity. And for a time everyone seemed to run on adrenaline. But it faded as another Seer was taken, as they packed up camp to move again, as they failed to stop another execution. Their joy faded nearly as quickly as it had come.

  The large, egg-shaped vehicle slid smoothly to a stop. Wire killed the propulsion drive and the team climbed out. They had pulled into the ground level of an old cement factory nearly twenty miles west of the Authority City. Four other repurposed vehicles were parked nearby, the setting sun casting long shadows of their bodies. The building was missing most of its north wall, and the ground-floor windows were shattered, glass lining the concrete floor. The camp was currently set up on the second level and they could hear the faint sound of commotion overhead.

  Remko knew people were working to get the camp packed up. Wire had radioed ahead to let them know they were headed back without Larkin. A failed mission meant moving. Again. They couldn’t chance the Authority extracting information from the Seers they took captive. They had no way of knowing what Larkin might have told them, so moving was necessary.

  Sam, Kate, and Wire headed toward the metal stairs that led up, and Remko hung back to walk beside Carrington. It was dim inside the building, but he could still see how tired her eyes were. He didn’t know what he could say to help. He’d learned early on he wasn’t very good with words. Even though his stutter was nearly gone, even though Carrington had somehow given him the strength to speak clearly most of the time, he had faced most of his life without needing to use words. So he oftentimes found himself at a loss for what to say.

  He reached out and grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers through hers, and he felt her entire body ease. They took the stairs slowly, neither of them ready to face the next journey. The stress and exhaustion of moving, of keeping everyone together. Even now Remko thought back to that perfect blue dress, in search of strength.

  The camp came into view as they ascended the final steps. The scene before them was functioning chaos. People moved about in a sort of rambunctious order as the camp closed in on itself, preparing for transport. Fires were extinguished as tents were folded down and stored. Food was being packed into crates and weapons loaded carefully away. Everything was being moved onto a large, flat, square panel of wood connected to a rudimentary pulley system that would lower it all quickly to the ground floor.

  Ramses approached through the continuous motion and nodded for Remko to follow him. Remko gave Carrington’s hand a final squeeze as she headed off toward their tent and Elise. He wanted to follow her, to make sure she was all right, to see their daughter’s bright face, but he was needed elsewhere. Later, when they were alone with only their infant baby watching, would Carrington hold his absences against him? She claimed to understand, to know that his moments away were necessary for the group, but he still feared that deep down she was making check marks each time she felt abandoned. Building up a tally that she could pull out and lay at his feet, proving he was failing her emotionally.

  Remko ignored the urge to rush after her and promise to be more present and followed Ramses to a corner of camp that was less occupied. Sam was there, standing in front of an old steel table rusted from loneliness. Large maps were spread out across its surface. Sam lifted his eyes as Ramses and Remko approached.

  “We have scouted out most of the surrounding areas and there aren’t many places to go that we haven’t
already been,” Sam said. “We could venture out farther, but it appears most of the land is just that—land. It might prove difficult to find shelter.”

  “I think I may have another option,” Wire said, walking up behind Remko. The boy was tall and thin, barely eighteen, his face mouselike, eyes too large, nose too long. His movements were awkward and clumsy, and he was too smart for his own good. When he’d arrived at the Seer camp, Remko had been worried about his ability to survive. But he said Aaron had called him, and Remko had learned better than to argue about someone chosen by Aaron. It hadn’t taken long for Wire to become an essential part of their small community, saving their lives more often than they saved his. The way he manipulated and understood the functionality of anything mechanical or software-based had quickly earned him the nickname Wire.

  His real name was Graham Tollen. His father was the Authority’s leading mechanical technician, and as Wire grew and learned the trade himself, he surpassed his father’s ability long before he was old enough to work. Wire had explained to Remko once that he saw the world in numbers. Everything could be broken down to a simple mathematical equation, and if you could understand that equation and had the right tools, then you could control it.

  “It’s risky, though,” Kate said, standing beside him. She and her older brother, Sam, were the complete opposite of Wire. Strong and fast, they moved like trained warriors. They had both been with Aaron before Carrington and Remko had joined. They were the first two original Seers—and Kate had no problem reminding people of that. Remko didn’t know very much about their lives before they became Seers, but he did know they didn’t have any family left, and they blamed the Authority for everything negative they’d ever experienced.