My Furry Valentine: In Between 1.5 (Peculiar Mysteries)

by Renee George

  The white cream burned on application, which meant it was working. Five minutes into the seven, and I saw blisters starting to form under the thick lotion.

  “Oh crap.” I turned on the faucet and began dousing my face with copious amounts of water. My lip started tingling and numbness replaced the burning. I opened the second tube and slathered it on, realizing too late that the company had sent two tubes of depilatory and no neutralizer.

  “Noooooo!” The word was muffled under the ever-increasing swell of my lips that now practically touched my nose. “Dis can’t ee appening.”

  “Hey, darling,” I heard Babel call from the living room.

  I ran to him, tears streaking my cheeks, and cried, “Aaaaah!”

  I stopped cold.

  He stood there with Great Aunt Erma Jean and Celia Trimmel.

  Babel did a double-take. “Oh, dear Lord.”

  “Babe, put some ice in a plastic baggie,” said Celia. I could only call her response total mom mode. “Where do you keep your antihistamines?”

  While I didn’t find Celia the warmest of people, I was desperate for someone else to be in charge of my life in that very moment. She led me to the couch and helped me sit down. In short order, she handed me the cold compress, water with a straw, and a diphenhydramine tablet.

  I sniffled. “Tank Oo.”

  Babe sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “Everything’s going to be all right.”

  Hah.

  ****

  An hour later, I was tired as hell, but at least the swelling hadn’t gotten worse and some of the feeling had returned to my upper lip. A quick call to Billy Bob reaffirmed Celia had done the right thing, and unfortunately, his miracle cream couldn’t cure this particular mess.

  Celia and Erma Jean sat on the couch and stared at me. Celia looked concerned. The old lady practically vibrated with hostility. She pointed a gnarled finger at me.

  “You are not meant to marry,” she said baldly. “Can’t you see the signs?”

  Her words hung in the air as silence filled our living room. Babel’s face turned red, almost as red as mine had been days before. “I don’t believe in that nonsense,” he said with matter-of-fact determination.

  The problem was, I did believe. I’d grown up with hippy-dippy mysticism crap during my formidable years, and I had an ability that could only be explained as something beyond this world. The fact that Babel was a shapeshifter, which pretty much screamed paranormal, didn’t seem to matter.

  “Mom drove Auntie here so she could give the Sheriff a photograph of the rings,” explained Babel disrupting the tension. “They’re going to stay the night with us and return home tomorrow morning.”

  “I’m sorry, Sunny,” Celia said. “We should have given you all more notice, but Auntie was really upset about her sister’s wedding bands.”

  “They belong to Sunny now,” said Babel.

  “Not until you speak the vows,” asserted Erma Jean. She grimaced. “My feet are tired and my back is sore. And I’m hungry.”

  Exhaustion poured through me, but my inner hostess still surfaced. “I’ll throw something together for us.”

  “No, you won’t,” said Babel firmly. “I’ll order take-out. You stay put and rest.”

  He looked at his aunt. “Stop upsetting Sunny. Not another word about signs or canceling the wedding.”

  Erma Jean waved him off. “Fine, fine.”

  I appreciated Babel’s support and his determination. Yet, what if we were getting signs? What if there was some power beyond us that didn’t want Babe and I to wed? I could happily live with him in sin until we were old as dirt. It had worked for Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell.

  Why wouldn’t it work for us?

  Chapter Six

  5 days until the wedding...

  Finally, it was the night of the rehearsal dinner. The women’s auxiliary along with the high school’s pep club had taken on the task of transforming a dreary basement—which Babel had optimistically called the auditorium—into a room fit for a princess and her Prince Charming. The tablecloths were deep chocolate in color with pale blue runners down the middle. The metal chairs had been camouflaged with navy blue slipcovers. Becky’s Bakery had coordinated with the florist in Lake Ozarks, and the centerpieces were lovely mixes of baby’s breath, silver accents, and velvet cake lollipops in the shape of hearts. Tea lights lit each setting and made it appear as if the tables had been blessed by fairies.

  “It’s perfect,” I gasped. “Oh, Babe. I love this so much.”

  He pulled me back against his chest, his long arms wrapping around me from behind. “You deserve perfect.” He kissed the edge of my ear, sending tingles through me.

  I might be in my thirties, but this man made me feel like a giddy teenager, and every day I fell in love with him all over again. I can’t believe I’d worried about bad omens and ill-fated romance. The wedding rehearsal, with Ruth officiating, had gone off without a hitch, and the rehearsal dinner was turning into something even better than I’d imagined.

  For dinner, Blondina had come up with a beef dish, a chicken dish, a vegetarian dish and a special canned meat dish just for me. Disgustingly so, my mouth had been watering for the mystery meat all day. Babe’s parents had arrived early in the day, and other than a few perfunctory but perfectly amiable words, they hadn’t talked to me much.

  I saw Jo Jo across the room, his short, brown hair had grown out, and he’d lost the blond streaks that had spotted his scalp when we’d first met. He stood near a handsome man with amber eyes and a square jaw. I smiled. It was nice to see Brady out in the community. He’d spent too long in his self-imposed exile. The man who used to be the town drunk had truly turned his life around. Jo Jo waved, and Brady nodded at me. Not too far off from the Cormans was a table full of teenagers. I saw Kyle and Roger, along with two other boys and three very pretty young girls. I saw Jo Jo cast a glance their way, a strange look on his face as he watched them laughing and telling each other animated stories. Was he lonely? My heart ached for him. Between his work at the restaurant and offering emotional support for his dad’s sobriety, Jo Jo had had little time to be a kid.

  Eldin Farraday, another deputy sheriff, and Taylor Thompson, one of Ruth’s oldest boys, leaned against the wall near the food warmers. Taylor was a nice man, unlike his twin Tyler, another deputy, who hadn’t been my biggest supporter when I first arrived in Peculiar. Tyler and Babe’s brother Judah had been BFFs for several years, but when you catch your best friend kissing your mom, it had a way of straining a relationship.

  Soon, Blondina rang the dinner bell, and the wedding party and our immediate family lined up to be first at the buffet.

  I headed straight for the special plate. The compressed fully-nitrated, salty, smoky cube of meat had been glazed to perfection with what smelled like an orange and honey sauce. “Oh my mercy,” I said putting the plate to my nose and inhaling deeply.

  “That’s really gross,” Babe said.

  I leveled my gaze at him. “Take it up with your progeny.”

  He lifted his hands in surrender. “I think I’ll have the roast beef and caramelized carrots.”

  I stuck out my tongue. I added steamed broccoli and garlic mash to my plate, then worked my way to the drink station. The choices were sparkling punch, iced tea, coffee, and water. With the amount of gas already bloating my intestines, I avoided the carbonated drinks and settled for a glass of sweet tea.

  The glazed ham, which is what I settled on calling it, was mouthwatering. Literally, there was enough salt in the meal to dry out a desert. Baby Trimmel was happy, but I would have to go sodium free for the next couple of days if I wanted to squeeze my fat, swollen feet into my wedding shoes.

  I downed the glass of iced tea with a very unladylike thirst and held the cup over Babe’s plate for him to fetch me more. It might have been a trick of the candlelight, but it almost looked like his skin had taken on a greenish cast. He was staring straight ahead, his hands clenche
d into fists, and his breathing was shallow.

  I put my hand on his forearm. “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head. Other than the chattering teenagers at the far table, an eerie silence fell over the rehearsal dinner. Ruth Thompson’s husband Ed was the first to break the quiet with what, in my opinion, was some of the loudest retching I’d ever heard.

  Ed’s barfing started a chain reaction. People began throwing up on the tables, on the floor, and on each other.

  “This isn’t happening,” I whispered. The smell of vomit soured the room. Those standing in line at the buffet put down their plates and bee-lined for the door. Oh, my God. Food poisoning? I sought Blondina out in the crowd. She was backed against the wall, her eyes wide with horror, her face as pale as the full moon.

  Then she leaned over and vomited.

  Babe’s hand went to his mouth and his cheeks puffed out.

  Celia rose to her feet and grabbed me by the elbow. “I don’t know what’s going on, but you should get out of here. We can’t risk you getting sick.”

  “I’ll stay with Babel,” said Daniel.

  “I’m sorry,” I told my fiancé as Celia propelled me toward the exit. Great Aunt Erma Jean shuffled behind us.

  As we headed up the stairs, Roger pushed past me hard enough that I had to grip the railing to keep from falling.

  Kyle maneuvered past Erma Jean and Celia. I grabbed his arm, stopping his progress, and the world fell away.

  “Jo Jo is under that stupid bitch’s spell,” Karina said.

  “Let it go,” Roger told her. “He’s made his choice. If he wants out, he’s out.”

  “The only way out of this pack is death,” Kyle said.

  Karina’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean that, Kyle.”

  Kyle’s piercing gaze made Karina shrink back.

  Roger started laughing. Kyle’s expression softened and he started laughing too. “Of course, I don’t mean it. It’s not like I’m a psycho.” His smile widened. “Besides, we have a job to do. We won’t get the last half of the payment if we don’t finish what we started.”

  I gasped and sank to my knees on the concrete steps. Kyle yanked his arm away, his expression furious. “Don’t touch me, freak.”

  “What did you do?” roared Jo Jo.

  Kyle turned and ran up the stairs. He barely made it past the doorway. Jo Jo rushed past us and pounced on his former friend.

  I hurried up the rest of the steps as fast as I could, Celia and Erma Jean right behind me.

  Jo Jo had Kyle pinned against the wall. My young friend’s face had partially shifted, and I could definitely see his mother’s mountain lion form in the shape of his nose and mouth.

  “I didn’t do anything,” Kyle said. “She grabbed me.”

  Jo Jo turned his green-eyed gaze on me. “Are you okay, Sunny?”

  “Yes,” I told him, still catching my breath. “I’m fine. Really.”

  Kyle pushed Jo Jo in the chest and broke free of Jo Jo’s grip. He scurried away and disappeared.

  Brady came up the steps behind us. “Jo Jo, there’s no cell phone reception in the basement. Get outside and call Doc Smith, tell him we might have a widespread case of food poisoning here.”

  Jo Jo nodded, his face returning to its human form, and took out his smartphone.

  “So much for a perfect day,” I muttered.

  “It’s just another sign,” said Erma Jean smugly, “that your marriage is doomed.”

  ****

  2 days before the wedding…

  “How are you feeling today?” I asked my groom who was lying on the couch with his forearm thrown over his face. He’d stopped throwing up within a few hours of the rehearsal dinner, but his stomach had been a little jacked since the incident.

  “Better,” he grumbled.

  “Do you think we should postpone the wedding?”

  “No.”

  “Babe…”

  “No,” he said with more emphasis. He sat up and held his hand out to me.

  I sighed but took it. I sat beside him, trying to act like a practical adult. I really wanted to hide under the covers with a pint of ice cream. “Blondina’s restaurant has been shut down for possible food mishandling, so we have no one to cater the reception, which isn’t a huge problem, considering we have no place to hold the reception.” The vomit smell hadn’t yet dissipated from the courthouse’s basement. “On top of that, your grandma’s rings are still missing. Our wedding is cursed.”

  Babe took my hands and brought them to his lips. He kissed my knuckles tenderly, the look in his eyes full of love, and my heart skipped a beat. “You are the only woman in the world for me, Ambrosia Sunshine Haddock. If the whole town of Peculiar burned to the ground today, I would still find a way to marry you on Valentine’s Day. It’s your dream date, and because of that, I’ve made it mine. I will stand with you in a field of gophers and chipmunks, have a cow officiate, and we can celebrate with the wind for all I care. You are mine, and I am yours, and two days from now, I will make you my wife. Come hell or high water.”

  “First, let me just say, it’s too cold for an outdoor wedding. Secondly, you can’t seat gophers next to chipmunks. Third,” I curled up and snuggled into his side, “nothing would make me happier than to be your wife, no matter where or when we get married.”

  “I want to marry you before the baby is born.” He stroked my hair and dipped his head to my beach ball belly. “Ain’t that right, little one?”

  Baby Trimmel kicked at the sound of his voice. She was always active whenever he spoke to her.

  He looked me in the eye with a gaze that brokered no argument. “We’re getting married in two days.”

  “Fine.”

  He smiled. “I knew you’d see it my way.”

  Chapter Seven

  1 day before the wedding…

  Shortly before noon, Sally from The Formal Invitation called to tell me my dress was nearly ready. She wanted one final fitting, and I’d be able to take the dress home with me after. Once again, I started feeling hopeful, even excited, about the wedding. So we wouldn’t have a venue for the reception. Or food. Or rings. Whatever. I didn’t need everything to be perfect, I just needed Babe, and he was all in.

  I made arrangements to meet up with Sally for a final fitting at two then headed into town for an early lunch. The sign on Sunny’s Outlook said, “Closed.” I got out my key, but when I slipped it in the lock, I discovered it was already open.

  When I walked in, Chavvah, Ruth, Blondina, and Jo Jo stood in front of two tables they’d put together. They all sat down.

  “What’s this?”

  Chav smiled. “We have the food for the reception covered.” She held out her hands. “Blondina and her crew are going to use our kitchen to fix up the meals since theirs is closed.”

  “I’m really sorry, Sunny. I don’t know what happened with the rehearsal dinner, but I promise it won’t happen again,” the bear-shifter said.

  “Thank you all, but we don’t even have a place to have the wedding, let alone the reception. It might just be a quick and dirty courthouse nuptials, so I’m not sure having a meal is even going to be an issue.”

  “Well,” Chavvah said. “We have another surprise for you.” The spark of excitement animated her features. I hadn’t seen her so happy in months, and her joy was contagious. Still, I was leery of getting my hopes up.

  “What did you do, Chav?”

  The door to the restaurant opened behind me. Delbert and Elbert Johnson walked in, nodding their heads to Chavvah.

  She clapped her hands. “We have a venue!”

  “Delbert and I cleaned out our barn over the last two days with the help of over half the town.” Elbert’s ears turned red as I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek.

  “Hey, it’s my barn too,” said Delbert.

  I let go of his brother and grinned. “I’m so blessed to have you both as friends.”

  I tried hard not to let my hope ove
rwhelm me. I’d learned over the last two weeks that caution was my friend. But incredibly, the dress was fixed and ready to go, and we had a place to hold the ceremony and house all our friends and neighbors for the reception.

  “Are you happy?” Ruth asked.

  “Ecstatic.”

  ****

  Lunch with my friends eased my unsettled mind. Screw bad omens. The wedding was on, and I couldn’t be happier. Now I just needed the final alterations on the dress and then I’d be ready to walk down the aisle tomorrow.

  The Formal Invitation was empty except for Sally and me. She’d blocked off a full hour to help me get my dress just right.

  “I know you’ve had some real tough luck, sugar. Your wedding gown will fit you to perfection. This is one aspect of your nuptials that you won’t have to worry about.” Sally pinned the empire waistline.

  “Thanks.” While Sally got her sew on, I fantasized about the wedding. Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, and it was truly going to be the most romantic day of the year. Outside the shop, I spotted Babe’s Great Aunt Erma Jean going into Peculiar Paw-On.

  I leaned forward for a better view and was rewarded with a pin in my side. “Ouch.”

  “Sorry, Sunny, but you can’t move around while I work.”

  “Is the pawnshop open again?”

  “Oh, yes. Jeremiah went back to work yesterday,” said Sally. “Hold on, sweetie. I have to get my fabric marker from the back. We’re almost done.”

  “Okay,” I said absently. Hmmm. What was Babe’s aunt doing at the pawnshop? Did she go to confront the owner about the theft? I decided a quick trip across the road wouldn’t do any harm. Right? I’d just peek in the window. It would only take a minute and I’d be back before Sally could blink.

  I tried to ignore the frigid breeze as it pushed up my knee length dress. The antique lace seemed to capture the cold. Already, I regretted not throwing on my coat. In the window, I watched Erma Jean raise her finger to Jeremiah Bowers. She shook it at him, and surprisingly, the man shrunk at her admonishments.

  What the hell was going on?

  I ignored a cramping pulse in my lower abdomen as Bowers raised his hands in an “I don’t know” gesture, and Erma Jean began to change. I’d never seen a full shift into the half-beast before, and Babel had told me that it took a lot of strength as a shifter to manage the feat. So when the old lady suddenly sprouted six inches of height and a long snout with teeth built to rip someone apart, it staggered me. I’d seen Babe in his half-form, and Erma Jean was something very different. She was yelling at Jeremiah now, her voice low and booming. I could make out something about the rings, but it was hard to hear with a half inch of tempered glass between us. I eased my way to the door and cracked it open. Just a little. Just enough to hear them more clearly. Just enough to… set off the door alarm.