A line from the fairly tales she read Kelsey brought a wry smile to his lips. The Prince had told his woman that he loved her and she'd fallen in love with him instantly. It wouldn't be like that for Sara and him. This particular Sleeping Beauty didn't see him as a prince.
Sara was in the kitchen fixing breakfast when Jason walked in the next morning.
"Good morning."
"Morning," Sara looked at him over her shoulder and then away. She was wearing one of her long skirts and a loose sweater. Her hair was pulled back the way she had worn it in the beginning.
Jason frowned. Was it another reminder that the play-acting was over?
"Dee Dee caught an early flight home. Did she tell you she was leaving?"
"Yes."
Guilt made an uncomfortable body suit. Kelsey smiled up at him and Jason bent to kiss her, noticing she had almost finished her scrambled eggs and bacon. "Want some more juice?" he asked.
Kelsey nodded and he poured some juice into her glass.
Sara transferred scrambled eggs from the pan on to his plate. "The Bintys called to say they'd be back tomorrow morning."
Sara placed his plate in front of him and turned to glance at Kelsey's.
"Mine," she said, swiping the last piece of bacon off the little girl's plate and putting it into her mouth. Kelsey dissolved into giggles.
Jason looked from Sara's smiling face to his daughter's laughing one. How was he going to explain Sara's departure to his daughter, fill the void left behind?
"What's wrong? Did I put too much salt in the eggs?"
Jason was staring at them as if they were raw.
"They're perfect. I was just thinking of something else." He picked up his fork and began to eat. "I have a dinner meeting and I won't be back till late. Peter will know where to reach me if you need me."
I'll always need you. Sara poured herself a cup of tea and wrapped both hands around the cup.
"What are your plans for today?"
Sara looked surprised. Jason usually left in a hurry in the mornings. "Kelsey and I will go to the Park for an hour in the morning, and then after lunch and her nap, we'll watch the video of The Hundred and One Dalmatians."
Jason wanted to suggest taking a picnic into the country, but he thought better of it. It would be harder to control his feelings in a relaxed setting.
He wished Sara would say something instead of watching him silently. Her eyes had sent him a dozen silent messages just the way they were doing now.
What did Sara want from him?
Sara wished Jason wouldn't look at her that way. There was a certain intensity in his eyes that flamed the fires in her stomach to a blaze. At this rate she was never going to get them under control. His gaze indicated he was waiting for her to say something, only she didn't know what to say.
What did Jason want from her?
"Well, I'd better be...."
"Kelsey, honey, are you ready...."
They both stopped. Jason picked up his jacket and said, "Both of you have a nice day."
"You too." Sara started clearing the table, wishing she didn't feel quite so empty. It was a feeling she'd have to get used to.
"Want to read that new book Grandma bought?" she asked Kelsey as she heard the front door close. "We can get your plastic tunnel out after that."
Action, lots of it, was the only way to keep thoughts at bay.
It was her search for an envelope for her letter to Claire that took her to Jason's office later that day. Going around his desk she bent to open the drawer when she caught sight of the picture.
Sara walked over to the king-size bed. It was an eight by ten framed photograph of her in the red dress. She knew it was here to convince Dee Dee that their engagement was real. Why had Jason put it on his nightstand instead of his desk?
Sara picked it up, recalling the photo session at Rudolfo's. Ramon, the photographer, had coaxed her into so many different poses.
Pretend you're looking at the man you love and you see his love he has for you in his eyes, he'd said, as he'd taken this one.
She'd thought of Jason. Her eyes were full of dreams in the picture. Dreams that would never come true now.
Picking up the picture, she carried it out of the study. There was no need for it here, now that Dee Dee had left.
Jason stared at the papers on his desk and then looked at the clock. Three p.m. It would take another half hour to finish what he was doing. Never had a work day dragged so badly.
Now that he'd arrived at a decision, he wanted to get back early to spend some time with Sara and Kelsey. Once the Bintys got back, things would be different. He'd have to tell Sara soon about Dee Dee's dropping the case...it wasn't fair to keep it from her.
It also wasn't fair to keep Sara from what she wanted most. He was glad he'd subdued the impulse to tell Sara they had to extend their stay in England by another month. The temptation to keep her with him, hope she would fall in love with him if she had enough time, was very strong.
Jason took another look at the papers in front of him. Sitting here, staring at them, wasn't accomplishing anything. He'd do it at home later tonight. He looked around for a USB drive to transfer his work to.
Sara was humming over something in the kitchen when she heard Jason's key turn in the lock. Her heart began to pound. She had wanted to shower and change before he got home. Kelsey wasn't up from her nap yet and Sara had decided to finish the Irish stew she was making.
"Hi!"
Jason paused in the doorway and Sara let her gaze linger on the way the white shirt he wore emphasized the breath of his shoulders.
"Hello Jason."
Three more freckles had popped out on her nose this morning, her hair was tied back with the shoelace Kelsey had found behind the couch this morning, and the dark blue cotton sweater she wore with the white and blue skirt did nothing for her.
Jason took a deep breath. Whatever Sara was making smelled really good. She looked beautiful with that smudge of flour on her nose. Her hair stuck in damp curls to her forehead, and he fought the urge to pick her up and carry her into the shower with him.
"You're home early. Kelsey's still asleep."
"I know she doesn't get up from her nap till five. I wanted to talk to you about something if you have a minute." Jason pulled out a chair, turned it and straddled it.
"Of course." Sara turned away to stir whatever it was she was making.
"I want you to come sit down and give me all your attention."
"Oh." She turned the flame lower. Coming to the table she pulled a chair out and sat down.
"I think my work here will be over by next week. We could leave for the States on Friday."
Sara looked surprised. "So soon?"
They'd only been here four weeks, and he'd mentioned six originally.
Jason nodded. "I know you're eager to get on with your own life. I've called Rowena and told her to hire some extra help to assist the Bintys. I'll release you from your contract as soon as possible."
"I see." She'd always known it had to end some time, yet nothing had prepared her for the pain. Counting the week in Rainbow Valley she'd known him for five weeks. Did she have enough memories to sustain her through a lifetime of loneliness?
"Have you thought about what you'd like to do when we get back?"
"What's going to happen about Dee Dee and the case?"
"She doesn't have to know your plans right away. We'll think of something to tell her later."
She was too hurt to ask Jason where all his determination to win the case had gone. Maybe he'd also sensed a subtle change in Dee Dee, that she had noticed.
"In that case I'll look for a flat and find another job." The original dream had lost its entire lure.
"It isn't going to be easy. California still hasn't pulled out of the recession yet."
"Something will turn up."
"Sara, do you think the terms of the contract were fair on you?"
"Of course."
"I
don't think the money I'm paying you is enough for all you've done for us Sara. I want to give you some more."
"You've done more than enough for me."
He frowned. "Living on your own can be very expensive. You'll need a car too. It isn't going to be easy till you find another job."
He was worrying over her as if she was Kelsey's age. "I'm an adult Jason, and adults face these situations all the time."
"Rowena said there was an opening in our office...."
More charity? "No thank you Jason. I want to make a fresh start all on my own."
"Sara, I respect your wish to do just that, but I can never repay what you've done for Kelsey. If you need any money, or anything at all, I want you to know I'll always be there for you."
It all boiled down to gratitude. Nothing more. "Thank you, Jason. If you'll excuse me, I've got a few more things to finish up in here."
Jason stood under the shower a few minutes later, telling himself he was a fool. Would he never learn? Sara didn't love him, or she would never have discussed leaving so coolly. He must have imagined the flicker of hurt in her eyes he'd first seen.
They were both quiet at the dinner table, preoccupied with their own thoughts.
Jason looked at Sara as she bustled between stove and kitchen table getting things, and frowned. He should have mentioned earlier that he'd asked Moses to put double the amount they'd originally agreed on, into her account at the bank.
The silence made her uneasy, so Sara decided to talk to Kelsey. "I've sliced a cucumber for you. You like cucumbers don't you? And after that we're having Irish stew and home baked bread."
Sara placed a few slices of cucumber on Kelsey's plate and then her own before passing the dish to Jason. The easiest way to get Kelsey to eat her vegetables was to serve them alone, first.
Jason hadn't said a word to her since she'd sent Kelsey into his room to call him into dinner.
"I forgot. Mrs. Binty made some special dressing for the cucumbers. You might like some."
She stood up to get it out of the refrigerator and was just turning when she saw Kelsey reach out to her plate and picked up the last slice of cucumber from it. Grinning up at Sara, she said, "Mine", loudly and clearly, before she bit into it.
Jason looked up as if he'd been shot. Sara stared at Kelsey, her heart giving a great, big leap.
"What's that?" Sara heard Jason ask hoarsely.
"Mine," Kelsey repeated with a giggle, putting the rest of the cucumber into her mouth.
"Jason, she spoke," Sara set the bowl of dressing on the table with a thud and clutched at Jason's arm. "Kelsey spoke."
He rose from the table reaching for his daughter and hugged her hard. "Oh, baby!" he said, his voice choked with tears.
Sara went up to them and put her arms around both of them. Tears streamed down her face as Jason lifted his face and she saw the reflection of her own tears in his eyes.
Kelsey wiggled in his arms impatient to get back to her dinner. Jason put her back in her chair and reached for Sara, "Thank you for always believing she would."
They had no adult audience, but Jason put everything he had into the kiss. It started off soft and gentle but then suddenly his mouth was making a different kind of demand, a demand that made Sara's legs tremble, made her want something she couldn't quite define.
Jason lifted his head and Sara realized her arms were around his neck. Not only that but she seemed to be tugging him towards her again. Sara dropped her hands. What on earth was wrong with her? Jason was just sharing his happiness, but she was making a fool of herself. Sara sat down, her legs shaky. Kelsey, the least concerned of the three, had reached for the bowl of dressing, poured it all over her plate and was eating it with a spoon.
"Eat," she admonished the two grown-ups when they stared at her.
Sara and Jason exchanged a look and burst out laughing. Later that night, Sara thanked the patron saint of children for helping matters along.
Sara hadn't thought about it when Kelsey said her first word, but she did two days later when she was at the breakfast table with Kelsey. Jason had his happy-ever-after ending. With Kelsey saying one more new word each day, the little girl would soon be talking non-stop. So much for her last hope that he might ask her to stay on for Kelsey's sake.
Sara tried to picture herself in an apartment near Claire, with a nine to five job and time to write and send out her short stories. She would even have time to join a local writer's group. The pictures didn't have the golden glow they once did. Instead, the future seemed awash with the bitumen gray of loneliness.
Jason came into the kitchen. A quick look at Sara's face and he turned away to pour himself a cup of coffee. Staring out of the kitchen window, she hadn't noticed him.
"Dada!" Kelsey banged on the table with her spoon and held her hands out for attention. It was the first time she'd said the word and it electrified Sara. She glanced over her shoulder to see Jason by the counter. His face was a study of emotions and her throat clotted up.
He came over and picked Kelsey up and hugged her. The little girl patted his head and said on a note of discovery. "Dada!"
She wanted Jason to have a little time alone with Kelsey. After all, this was the moment every father waited for. Jason placed a hand on her shoulder and stopped her as she passed him, though he addressed his daughter. "Well, you finally decided to say Dada, did you punkin'?. I'm glad there are only three words ahead of Dada...`mine', `eat' and `no-no'. For a minute there, I thought I was going to come after shoes and potty. Now, how about saying Sara? C'mon, you can do it."
But Kelsey had lost interest in expanding her vocabulary. Mrs. Binty entered the kitchen and the little girl held her arms out to her. She was ready to go to the Park.
Mrs. Binty took her from Jason and put her back in her chair. "Yes, we'll go feed the duckies, but you've got to eat your porridge first darlin'. You need your strength to walk in the Park."
Over Kelsey's head, Sara looked at Jason. He couldn't take his eyes off his daughter's face, and she was glad for his sake. Dee Dee didn't have an argument for her case now. Sara's hardest challenge lay ahead. She had to let go of all this with as much grace and dignity as she could muster.
CHAPTER TEN
At the last minute, something came up that changed Jason's plans of returning to the States with them. A phone call from Rome opened up the possibilities of a new business deal. A representative was flying out to talk to him about it, but it meant staying on for a day or more.
"It wouldn't make sense to change all our plans," he told Sara. "Why don't you, Kelsey and the Bintys go on ahead, and I'll be there Sunday or Monday?"
"That's no problem."
Jason frowned. Sara seemed very quiet. He'd thought she'd be happy about returning to the States.
"Did you call the editor?"
"Yes." She'd finally picked up enough courage to do so, telling herself that she needed something to look forward to. "He wants to publish the article in the next issue of his magazine and is interested in any more articles I might have."
"That's great then. You must be looking forward to being able to give more time to your writing. Rowena's lined up someone to help in the house, so Mrs. Binty can devote all her time to Kelsey. We'll try to arrange it so you can leave as quickly as possible."
Sara didn't say anything, though words welled up in her like the rising tide.
Jason looked at Sara's head. Was she feeling bad about leaving Kelsey? He knew how kind Sara was, how much she worried about Kelsey.
"You're welcome to visit Kelsey whenever you feel like it."
"Thank you."
He couldn't have made things clearer. She was already on the outside. A visitor, not a member of the household. "I'll start looking for an apartment as soon as I get back. Claire said her building might have a vacancy."
They'd driven Claire back one night when her car had refused to start. Jason hadn't like the area she lived in. He didn't like the thought of Sara living there. He
wanted to tell her that she could stay with them, that he would see she got all the freedom she wanted. Controlling the impulse, Jason folded the paper he'd opened. Putting her in a cage, however large and pretty, would be denying Sara what she wanted most.
He paused by the door. "You have a good day."
"You too."
Sara stared at her oatmeal after Jason left. The look of the hot cereal matched the future exactly. Dull, boring, insipid.
"Have a g'day. Have a g'day." Kelsey said over and over.
Sara reached over and used her napkin to wipe the little girl's mouth. "That's clever, Kelsey," she said with a catch in her voice, realizing she wouldn't be around too much longer to see all the changes in the little girl. Maybe Mrs. Binty would give her daily accounts over the phone.
"Something's wrong, I tell you," Mrs. Binty said to her husband over their own breakfast. "Himself's working like the devil's after him, and our Sara's looking as if the bottom's dropped out of her world."
"Now Mother. He's just busy with work and maybe she's a little sad about going back. We might leave them to arrange their own lives."
"Phooey," his wife said. "You heard Sara say more than once we're family. We've got a right to be interested in them. She's the only one I've worked for who hasn't treated us like servants. I care about her and I want her to be happy."
"So do I, but they may have changed their minds about getting married."
"If they break their engagement I'm leaving. I'll go live with Sara and take care of her, that I will, and I'm going to give Himself a piece of his mind before I do that. I thought he was slow, not daft. He'll never find someone like our Sara. Never."
"Let's not cross our bridges before we come to them," said Mr. Binty in the resigned tone of a man trying to soothe the ruffled feathers of his mate.
Sara couldn't understand why she felt so restless. They had been back in Rainbow Valley four days. Jason had been here for two, but she hadn't seen him yet. She heard Kelsey talking and laughing with him before he left in the morning, but she'd stayed in her room till she heard his car leaving.
Daddy's Little Girl (A Homespun Romance) Page 14