On the domestic front, things were going well. The new maid, Carmenita Sanchez, a young married woman, got on well with the Bintys and Kelsey. Dee Dee called every day to talk to a delighted Kelsey. Listening to the little girl talk nineteen words filled everyone's heart with joy.
Sara had made her own plans. Claire's building did have a vacancy and she'd put a deposit on her flat. She'd tell Jason today that she was moving out tomorrow...there was no point in staying on now.
She'd called her editor again and he'd mentioned the magazine might offer her a permanent column. Encouraged by her writing success, but knowing it would be quite a while before she could support herself with it, Sara had filled out an application at an employment agency, stating she would like a job where her writing skills could be used.
She was working on a puzzle with Kelsey when the phone rang Wednesday evening. To her surprise it was a call from Margo Evans, the owner of the employment agency. An advertising firm in Sherman Oaks had an opening. Was she interested?
Sara did some quick thinking. Sherman Oaks was seventy five miles away from Rainbow Valley. If she moved there to be close to work, it would be hard to see Kelsey as often as she wanted to.
"That's too far away. I want to stay in the area."
Margo said she'd keep looking and hung up.
Sara stared into space. What if that was the only job she could get? What if her money ran out and she hadn't found another one?
"What's too far away?"
Sara spun around. Jason looked thinner, more tired. Mrs. Binty had mentioned he came in late and left early. He was working much too hard.
"Hello Jason." Her heart pounded, her mouth went dry, and her breath was stuck somewhere in the middle of her chest.
"How are you Sara. What's too far away?" He picked up his daughter and kissed her. Kelsey wiggled to be put down, her attention on the puzzle she was working on.
"A job in Sherman Oaks."
"Far away from what?"
‘From you, you blind fool’, Sara wanted to yell, angry with herself for reacting like this to his presence, angry that she couldn't control the way she felt.
She wet her lips. "I want to be close enough to see Kelsey once in a while."
There. She'd managed to keep her voice nice and light, as if it was just a friendly interest she had in his daughter.
He frowned. "Jobs aren't easy to find, Sara."
It hurt that he should keep pushing that point. Did he think he was stuck with her till she did find one? He turned away as if about to leave when she said, "I've found a place to stay. I'm moving out tomorrow."
He stopped and turned towards her. Sara moved a step back.
The only reason she could think of for the anger in his eyes was her tone.
A tight look had come over his face as he scanned her features and then he'd said, "Do you need help moving?"
"No thank you Jason. Claire and I can manage between us." She wasn't going to tell him she wasn't taking any of the fancy clothes he'd bought her. They belonged to this time of her life...a period she had to seal away and try to forget.
Jason's eyes rested on his daughter's head. He thought of the day he'd gone to pick Sara up. She'd stood in her uncle's house, holding her cardboard box tied with string and he'd wondered if he was doing the right thing hiring her. Now he didn't know what he would do without her.
"I've told Kelsey I have to go away," Sara said softly. "Mrs. Bintys been doing everything for her since we got back from London, so the transition won't upset Kelsey's routine. I'll call her every day in the beginning, then gradually taper it off."
"Thank you, Sara." A slow burn had started in his chest at the deep sadness in Sara's voice. It made his voice harsher than he intended. "I'll have your last check ready for you in the morning."
Something inside Sara shriveled, as Jason looked at her as if she were a stranger. All she could say was, "Thank you."
Jason carried the memory of her face around all evening. Dammit, she was getting exactly what she wanted, so why had she looked hurt when he'd mentioned having her check ready? He didn't understand her. She needed the security of a job and yet she turned down the chance of getting one saying she wanted to be near Kelsey.
Did she think he was blind? That he couldn't see how much she loved Kelsey? Sara didn't hold back when she made a commitment, and a part of him was glad she'd made one to Kelsey. His daughter's life would be richer for having someone like Sara in it. His own pain he'd have to learn to handle.
He was so distracted all evening that the business acquaintance he was having dinner with asked him if something was wrong. Jason told Jake Ramsey that he was feeling under the weather.
It wasn't a lie. The emptiness inside was growing with each hour that passed at the thought that Sara would soon be gone. He wondered how the little gosling that had gone to London was going to take the news of Sara's departure? Knowing Sara, preparing Kelsey for it wasn't a responsibility she would have shirked.
"Why don't we get together some time next week when you're feeling better?"
The thought of Sara on her own, having to find work, struggling to make ends meet, bothered him.
"Jason." The touch on his arm startled him. He looked at Jake Ramsey's concerned face.
"I'm sorry." He rubbed his forehead. "What were you saying?"
"I said let's get together next week when you're feeling better. In the meantime, take care of whatever it is you have."
Whatever it was he had.
As he drove home, Jason realized this was the one thing he couldn't take care of. There was no anti-locking braking device for love that he could invent.
For a moment he felt very strongly that he had to go home and tell Sara how he felt. His foot pressed the accelerator to the floor. Maybe she would still be up.
He was a desperate man, standing on the lip of a dark and lonely chasm that he would fall into when Sara left. He had to try to keep her with him. When Diana had died, all he'd felt was pity for her and regret that they hadn't had a better life together.
The thought of Di shocked Jason into facing reality. What would happen if he persuaded Sara to marry him? Maybe she wouldn't mind being his wife, being Kelsey's mother for a while, but later, when she found his daughter's demands too great, or she got pregnant...what would happen then?
Jason's hands tightened on the wheel as he thought of Diana's face, contorted with anger telling him he had tricked her into becoming pregnant, just so he could tie her down.
He could never run the risk of that happening with Sara. He had to let her go, take his chances, and wait. He would make sure he saw her often, remind her that he was around.
Taking his foot off the accelerator, Jason checked the side view mirror and changed lanes. He would take the long way home. Driving around would give him time to calm down.
Sara woke at five, Thursday morning. Tomorrow would make six weeks since she'd first met Jason. She was glad now that she'd moved in here right away, had more time to spend with him and Kelsey. She wished they could have stayed in London longer, been together for a little more time, but that couldn't be.
It was no use trying to go back to sleep. Thoughts of Jason had kept her awake till she'd heard his car pull into the four car garage at one this morning.
Sara looked around. The single suitcase she'd bought herself was already packed, so there was nothing to do. She didn't want to work on her writing. The only thing that might help her calm down was physical work. She decided to take her whole room apart, take all the books down and wipe the shelves and dust them, so Carmenita would have one less thing to do after she left.
Fetching some rags from the kitchen, Sara looked through the window. Her heart jumped into her throat. Jason was on the deck in the back, staring at the mountains, a mug of coffee in his hand. Her eyes widened as she took in the dress pants and the white silk shirt he'd worn to his dinner meeting. Hadn't he gone to bed at all?
That must have been some meeting. The
thought that he might have been with a woman aroused such a storm of jealousy in Sara that she wanted to march out there and confront him. But she didn't. Jason had made it very clear it wasn't her he wanted anyway, and his personal life wasn't any of her business.
As Sara removed the books and wiped the shelves down with furniture polish, she tried to figure out why life was so strange. Why had Jason just wanted her, not loved her? Was it because in spite of the fact he'd bought her expensive clothes and tried to introduce her to his kind of life, she had failed in some way?
Sara swept the books of the next shelf. She couldn't be anything else than what she was...ordinary, plain, homely. As she picked up another pile of books, Sara realized Kelsey had carried one of Jason's automotive magazines in and left it in the room. It slipped off the top of the pile of books and slid down to the carpet. Sara picked it up and a sheet of paper slipped out.
The paper she held was too thin to be a picture. Turning it over, she scanned the first two lines.
She had to read the letter through twice before she could absorb the contents. From Dee Dee, the note informed Jason that as per the talk they'd had, she'd told her attorney that she was dropping the case. She apologized for all the tension she had created and thanked him and Sara for giving her another chance with Kelsey.
Sara's gaze flew to the date. Jason must have received this in London. And all this time she'd hoped and prayed that Dee Dee would drop the case.
What kind of a man would keep a letter like this from her?
So mad she could hardly breathe, Sara marched out of the room. Jason Graham had some explaining to do.
He was still out on the deck. Sara flung open the patio door and launched into her attack right away.
"Why didn't you tell me about this?"
He swung around at the sound of her voice and her anger went into an immediate nosedive. Unshaven, the top four buttons of his shirt undone, Jason looked exhausted.
"Tell you about what?" He asked wearily.
She held the letter out, telling herself she was still very angry. "It's from Dee Dee. You must have gotten it in London."
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I'm sorry." He turned away as if the view was the most important thing around. His wooden tone made her look at his back in exasperation. He didn't add anything and she stared at the letter in frustration.
Suddenly she knew what kind of a man would keep the letter a secret. The only possibility that occurred pushed the dark clouds of anger aside. A joy so heady it made her pulses race, began to seep through her system. Sara breathed a prayer for help to the patron saint of love.
"I'm going to sue you Jason," she said, as seriously as she could manage.
"What?" He swung around and looked at her.
"I'm going to sue you," Sara repeated, hoping her courage wouldn't fail before she got through with this.
"What for?"
"Breach of promise."
"Breach of promise?"
"You said we had to be honest with each other. By hiding the letter, you broke our contract."
The look in Sara's eyes gave Jason his first clue. There was a new light in them that had nothing to do with anger.
"What are you going to sue me for?" He would gladly give her everything he had.
"I'm going to take you for all you've got...your heart, your body, Kelsey, and shares in the rest of your life."
He felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. Sara wanted it all?
"I hid the letter because I wanted you to stay a little longer."
"I beg your pardon?"
"I said I wanted you to stay, dammit. I hoped that if you stayed a little longer that you might begin to like us too much to leave."
"Don't swear, Jason. I've more than liked you for a very long time," she pointed out. "You're the one who insisted I leave."
"That's because just liking isn't enough. Nor is staying because you love Kelsey. I want...." he broke off abruptly, and then said. "Oh hell, what's the use? You need to experience freedom, Sara. You need to try your wings, so that you won't blame me for clipping them later."
"What do you want Jason?"
"I want your love, Sara. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I won't take your dream of freedom away."
Hope began to play the opening bars of a symphony of happiness. "My dream wasn't cast in stone Jason. I've realized I don't have to be on my own to experience freedom. Can't I experience it right here with you? Isn't freedom simply protecting your basic right to choose what you do?"
"Certain situations can deprive you of that freedom, Sara."
"What kind of situations?"
"Marriage, a child, getting pregnant."
The opening bars moved into a crescendo of love. "Is this a firm offer?"
"Sara," Jason reached for her shoulders unable to stop himself. "Don't tempt me."
Sara smiled at him. "Jason, I want to tempt you right out of your mind. That's what you've done to me. You've taken over my head, my heart, my whole life. I know I'll never stop being free with you. I love you."
His grip on her shoulders tightened as he searched her face for the truth. "Love doesn't last forever Sara. The fires die down and the ashes grow cold."
"I know people don't always burn at the same rate as they do in the beginning when their love is new, but the fire doesn't go out for everybody. Look at Peter and Meera. As long as we're willing to tend the flames and work at keeping them burning, they won't ever die down."
"That's easy to say now. You'll hate me when reality begins to creep in. You'll blame me for taking away your chances. Dashed hopes will douse any fire."
"Realistic hopes don't have to be dashed, Jason. I know what I want. I want you, and Kelsey, and any other children we may have together. I also want to write. What do you want out of life?"
"You. Kelsey. To make Graham Electronics the best business of its kind."
"None of those are unrealistic dreams, Jason."
She was right.
Sara had had enough of talking for the time being. She put her arms around Jason and kissed him three times. "That's yes, yes and yes."
"Yes, yes, and yes to what?" He lifted a brow though his eyes glowed with tenderness as his arms went around her and hauled her close.
"Yes, to marrying you, yes, to loving Kelsey, yes, to getting pregnant."
"What about your writing?"
"I don't think I'll ever stop writing. Loving you, having a family, is going to make my writing richer not poorer."
Jason picked Sara up and spun her around.
"I'm going to draw up another agreement," he said, when he set her down.
"And the terms?"
"The terms are unconditional and unlimited love for the rest of our lives, and as much care, time and attention as it will take to make sure this fire never dies down."
He kissed her till they were both breathless, and then he said, "I'm taking on a partner, Jake Ramsey, who's going to take care of all the marketing. That'll free me up to concentrate on research at the plant, and you and Kelsey won't have to move around so much. We can convert one of the bedrooms into a study for you, or would you rather rent office space?"
"I want to write right here," Sara said her eyes on the mountains. "I don't want to miss any of Kelsey's growing up. Besides there's another bonus to working at home."
"Which is?" Jason lifted her hand and pressed his lips to the back of her fingers.
Sara's smile widened into a grin. "When the boss comes home for two hour lunches, I'll be right here."
"Sara, I don't think I have ever been so scared of losing you as I was in the last week." Jason kissed her as if he would never let her go. "And now I can't believe you're really going to marry me."
"I can't believe it either."
From the kitchen, the Bintys looked on approvingly.
"Now there's a nice turn of events," Mrs. Binty said to her husband. "Makes a body feel good."
She turned away. "Will you listen for the little one waking? I have to make a phone call from our bedroom."
"At this hour?"
"It's to Mrs. Smythe. She lost her bet and she owes me a hundred pounds."
"A hundred pounds?" Mr. Binty looked horrified. "How could you place a bet with Himself's mother-in-law?"
"She said they wouldn't wrap it up so quickly, that Sara would move out before Himself realized what he'd lost and go after her. I said she wouldn't move out at all...he wouldn't let her. I won."
"It's not right," Mr. Binty protested.
"Oh, hush your grumbling. You wanted this as much as I did. Why shouldn't I bet on something I'm sure of? Look at them and tell me love doesn't win when it's strong and true."
Mr. Binty turned to look at the couple outside the window. Locked in each other's embrace, they looked like they needed some privacy. He turned away and hurried after his wife just in time to hear her say. "There's always a happily ever after for those who believe in it. Always."
EPILOGUE
"Sara!"
She turned her head and smiled at the sound of Jason's voice. He'd come home early.
"I'm in here," she called.
He came into the nursery and smiled. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine, Jason." She smiled down at her son who nursed at her breast as if he was starving.
"And Justin?" He came nearer and touched his son’s cheek very tenderly.
"He's busy as you can see."
Their gazes met over Justin's dusty blonde head, and the intensity she recognized now crept into Jason's eyes.
"I love you, Sara." He leaned forward and kissed her lightly. "You're so beautiful."
Sara smiled through the tears that gathered in her eyes. "I love you too, Jason. Thank you for filling my life with love and happiness."
Love had filled her life with all the colors of the rainbow; the deep lavender of absolute contentment, the true blue of a lasting love, the vibrant green of family.
"Are you feeling all right?" Jason asked anxiously. "You look pale. Should I call Dr. Rushmore?"
"Jason, of course I'm looking pale. It's only four days since Justin was born. As for calling Dr. Rushmore, did you call the poor woman and ask if you could have a separate line put into her office? Give the poor woman a break."
Daddy's Little Girl (A Homespun Romance) Page 15