My Sweet Demise (Demise #1)

by Shana Vanterpool

  He lets my face go and looks down. When he looks back up I feel a small, miniscule, pretty much nonexistent part of me admit I might want Kent past attraction. The pain in his eyes makes my heart ache for the hurt he feels. I can’t stand the sight of it so I quickly press my lips to the corner of his mouth, not even his lips, and hug him to me.

  “Never mind. Forget I asked.”

  “Her name is Willow Serena. She’s who I want to forget.”

  I still in his arms. “Did you love her?”

  “I’ve never loved anyone that much before her,” he admits hoarsely. “I didn’t even know I could love that hard.”

  “What happened?”

  He swallows audibly and shakes his head. “Enough talking for one day.”

  “Okay.” I touch my hand to his face.

  He sighs and lies on his back. Peeking at me, he smiles thinly. “That’s the first time I’ve said her name in a year. I guess it’s true about time and pain.” He makes hacking noise and covers his eyes with his hand. “Or not.”

  I refrain from mentioning he whispered it in his sleep. “Sleeping with other women helps you?”

  “I’m not talking about this with you.”

  “You puked on me last night. I had to drag your naked body into the bathroom and take a condom off your flaccid penis. You’re talking to me about this. Does it help you?”

  His eyes widen and for the first time Kent Nicholson blushes. His cheeks flush with pink and he looks away, absolutely mortified. “Raina, baby, I’m sorry.” Taking a deep breath, he nods. “Fucking other women helps. But making them feel like shit helps a lot more.”

  I suspected as much. “You really are a pig.”

  “Not denying it.” He reaches for me, cupping my face in his large palm. “Thank you for taking care of me.” His thumb rubs my cheek. “Honestly. Thank you, Rain.”

  “You’re welcome. Thank you for telling me about Willow.”

  “You’re welcome, I guess.” But he’s clearly uncomfortable. He presses his finger to my mouth. “Don’t say her name again. On your lips it’s wrong.”

  I want so badly to tell him I know who she is. Her name on my lips hardly counts when he already informed me she’s his ex-fiancée. I picture the onyx-haired beauty in his room on his mirror. But his pain is his pain, and even being puked on doesn’t change that.

  “Got it,” I let him know. My stomach falls with disappointment when I check the clock. “I have to go to work.”

  His head snaps up. “You’re leaving?”

  “I have to. Some of us don’t have rich daddies to take care of us.” I poke his side and get out of bed. He doesn’t move. I find my last clean uniform and hold it up. “I’d change in the bathroom but it’s filthy thanks to you. Get out so I can change.”

  “Change in here.” He crosses his arms behind his head and then drapes his ankles over one another. His abs stretch and his shorts fall down, revealing a large patch of his golden pubic hair. My temperature flares at the sight of his body, so lean and tempting. Even after last night Kent is still incredibly attractive to me, maybe even more so, because that nothingness makes me appreciate him even more.

  “I won’t look,” he promises, yet he doesn’t close his eyes.

  “You’re impossible.” I laugh in disbelief. “Please roll over.”

  He rolls over and now his back is on display. “Better?”

  It’s a delectable back. All of his muscles are taut and smooth, stretching enticingly under his skin. His back dimples make my mouth water. I imagine kissing them, biting them, licking them…I force a deep breath into my lungs and take my clothes off, quickly changing into my uniform.

  “You can roll over.”

  He does so slowly, still hurting. “You’re the first girl who doesn’t want me to see her naked.”

  “Interesting, isn’t it?” I grab my hair straightener and plug it in, sitting on the edge of my bed as I wait for it to get hot enough to straighten the mess my hair has become.

  “Disappointing is more like it.” His foot reaches up to trace his toes down my thigh. “Who was that guy you were dancing with last night?”

  I’m distracted by his toe. “I don’t know. Some guy. He likes me and wanted to dance.” I bring my brush through my hair as his toe goes higher.

  “Do you like him?”

  “I don’t know him. Samantha gave him my number, so I’ll have to figure out a way to turn him down without being mean.”

  “Be mean,” he grunts. “You two friends now?”

  “She’s a nice girl.”

  “She wasn’t nice when she was with me. I don’t do nice. She’s lying to you.”

  “Nice girls make mistakes too,” I remind him haughtily.

  “When are you going to get over that? So we hooked up. And did you say you were a pity hump? Are you kidding? I could’ve had you in that bathroom. How would you feel about yourself if you let me screw you in a bathroom?”

  I look down. For the first time I might believe him. “You held back for me?”

  “I wasn’t holding back for me.”

  He’s right. I wasn’t thinking about anything the way I should have. I imagine losing my virginity that way and cringe. “So you were into it?”

  “Raina,” he says impatiently, “I was so into it, into you, into the sounds you were making and the look in your eyes, I haven’t been able to think about anything else other than you falling apart in my arms.”

  Heat erupts across my flesh as if Kent Nicholson’s words are made out of flames. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what came over me. I promise I’m not usually that desperate.”

  “You weren’t desperate.” His toe continues its ascending journey. He gets to the top of my shorts and then begins to descend, tracing his previous path. “I turned you on the same way you turned me on. You don’t have to apologize for it.”

  I turned him on?

  I didn’t know I could do that, although I suppose it’s natural. Kent seems like he needs more than what we did to get turned on. I gulp and close my eyes as something strange moves over me. It’s confidence, or pride, or some sexy combination of both. It’s not something I’ve ever felt before. “I attacked you.”

  “You can attack me anytime.”

  I move away from his toe. “I won’t.”

  “Why not, if you don’t mind me asking?” His foot starts messing with the only part of me it can still reach. His toe dips under my shirt and traces my lower back.

  Muscles deep in my belly clench at the feeling of him trailing his toes over my skin. “Do I have to say it? You’re you and I’m me. Plus, like I said, that kind of thing never happens to me. We’re roommates. I refuse to be another wet spot on the couch.”

  He laughs. “Gross. Although the idea of you leaving a wet spot anywhere because of me is kind of turning me on.”

  I get up when his toe hits the tickly spot on my lower back. “Enough,” I weakly order. “I have to go to work. Are you okay to be alone?”

  “I’m never okay when I’m alone.”

  His playful sexiness is gone. I reminded him he needs to run. “Are you going out tonight?” I guess.

  “Do you want me to?”

  I sigh and grab my black sneakers, pulling them on after I do my socks. My hair falls like a curtain between us. “I don’t think you should leave the house tonight.”

  “How can I forget if I don’t go out?” he asks simply. “I’ll take it easy. I promise. And I’ll let you work in peace tonight.”

  I feel so sad suddenly. I look for my purse and then recall I left it in the living room last night. “Bye, Kent.”

  “I’ll walk you down,” he offers, getting slowly out of bed.

  I step into the hall, feeling his eyes on me as he follows me into the living room. Signs of last night are everywhere. The upturned cushion, the thick scent of vomit in the air, and the discarded clothes on the floor. I grab my purse and phone, recalling how scared I was last night.

  �
�If you want, you can come keep me company tonight. We’re usually slow on Sundays.” I don’t want him alone.

  “Nah. I’ll let you be tonight. I’ll probably kick it with Jake and Zeke.”

  I push down my disappointment. He opens the front door and together we head downstairs to my car. As we do I open my text messages and read them.

  Samantha: Not working tonight. Having a party. Come. It’ll be an all-nighter so no worries about time.

  Unknown Number: I had fun dancing last night. Trevor.

  Becca: What’s up cry baby? Still crying?

  Kent pauses at my car and crosses his arms over his chest. I put my phone back in my purse and stand there awkwardly. As I try to figure out what to say, a girl walks by. She looks slightly familiar and as I stare at her she pauses to glare at Kent and me. She gives Kent the finger.

  “Psycho bitch,” he mutters. “Arissa. You remember her? Stay away. Far away!” he growls.

  “Why is she psycho?” Knowing him, I bet he screwed her and then screwed her over. “Because she won’t let you use her? You know we don’t have to do that, right? We have a right to be pissed.”

  “Have fun at work,” he answers instead. He leans down and kisses my cheek. Before he straightens he puts his mouth over my ear. “Go to the party tonight. Erase Trevor’s number from your phone. And tell your sister you can cry whenever you want to.” He leaves me with a final lingering look.

  Pompous a-hole.

  I call Becca immediately. “Wahhhh,” I tease.

  She laughs. “Feeling better?”

  “No. Not really.” I tell her about what happened with Kent. I need to talk to someone about it. “And he wants to act like it didn’t happen. Like it’s no big deal,” I finish.

  She’s quiet for a second. “Raina O’Connor, are you falling for this man?” Her tone is accusing and harsh.

  “What? No! Where did that come from?”

  “Look, I get it, Rain. Last night sounded crazy, but you said his name like a million times. And then Kent this. And Kent that. And Kent, lick my pussy, Kent.” She makes a disgusted sound in the back of her throat. “I’ve seen him in action. He’s so unworthy of you it’s frightening to think of you even being around him. Last night should prove that once and for all.”

  “Could you imagine if he licked my pussy?” I fan my face at the same time as I attempt to drive.

  “Raina,” she grumbles, but I can hear her trying not to laugh. “You’ve never done that?”

  “No.”

  “Poor thing. I feel bad for the first guy who goes down there. You’re going to strangle him.”

  I burst red all over. “Why?”

  “Because you’re like a firecracker waiting to explode. Forget who it is for a moment. Doesn’t Kent turn you on?”

  I avoid what we did in the bathroom. “Yes,” I admit, unwillingly willing to admit it.

  “You have no outlet. All of that sexiness is building. You’re going to destroy half of Florida when you let it loose.”

  “Becca.”

  She laughs on the other end. “I’ll be safe in California.”

  “I gotta go,” I grumble, hanging up the phone.

  When I get to Oblivion, it is for once calm. Sundays are our only easy day. Most people are still messed up from Saturday and our crowd is older this evening. I am preoccupied, completely and utterly preoccupied by Kent. I know the nothingness is gone, but it existed. It’s real. Kent is running toward that every single second of every day. I doubt last night will be his last time passed out drunk. What if I’m not there the next time? What if he’s quietly choking on the floor and James can’t hear him and his date leaves him? I mess up my orders, fill the wrong drinks, and overall I earn every empty tip of the night.

  “What’s wrong with you today?” Sophie inquires on my lunch break. “I saw you arguing with one of your customers. You never argue with them.”

  I eat for the first time today, digging into my salad with vigor. “He forgot he didn’t want cheese. Who forgets that?”

  “We’re supposed to ask if they want cheese. You taught me that.”

  She’s right. “Whatever.”

  She pats my shoulder as she walks by. “Are you going to Sam’s party? She’s starting late so we can all go.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “You should come. That way I have a ride,” she hints coyly. “You know, because my boyfriend has my car…”

  “Oh gee, Sophie. Do you want a ride?”

  “I’d love one. Don’t worry. It’ll be fun. We’ll get drunk and forget whatever’s bothering you. Or who,” she adds, giving me another coy look. “I’m not naming names, but I hear Kent Nicholson has been in here every night this week for you. I can imagine wanting to forget that man all night long.”

  “How’s your boyfriend doing?”

  “He’s no Kent Nicholson.”

  I stab at her with my fork. “Be gone, witch.”

  She snickers. “I mean seriously. I heard he has back dimples.”

  “From who?”

  She touches her lips and leaves the room.

  Who hasn’t seen him naked? Acid laces my thoughts, following me around for the rest of my shift. I’m glad it’s slow and don’t even mind the fifty dollars in tips. My bank account does, but then again my bank account can mind its own damn business tonight.

  “Ready?” Sophie asks at the end of our shifts.

  I can’t help feeling like I was roped into going to this party. She tells me how to get to Sam’s place in between chatting animatedly about her boyfriend. I wonder for the first time what it would be like having a man worth talking about. Sometimes she smiles so big I have to smile back.

  “Okay, enough about me. Tell me about you. Are you dating anyone?”

  “No.”

  “No one?” she hints.

  “No.”

  “Don’t make me say his name. Your left eye twitches every time I say his name.”

  “Trust me. We’re just roommates.”

  “You sound so sad.”

  I look out my window. “I am eye-twitchingly fine.”

  When we get to Sam’s the party is in full swing. We find a spot on the street and walk together. Inside we’re bombarded by Sam Hunt and his sexy voice. I start singing along immediately and Sophie joins in. People laugh at us, but we don’t mind. We sing all the way to the kitchen where we find Samantha taking shots with a tall, long-haired guy.

  She gasps when she sees us and runs over, giving us each a big hug. “You’re here!” she squeals, spilling her shot all over the floor.

  She’s drunk already. I laugh and try to keep her from swaying. Her friend takes her hand and gently pulls her against his side to keep her up. “Thanks, Jax. Guys, this is Jax. He’s my best friend.”

  Jax smiles pleasantly at us.

  “Hey. My name’s Raina,” I introduce myself since Sam forgot.

  He smirks. “Hey, Raina. What’s up, Sophie?”

  “Nothing much. You let her get drunk?”

  He puts his hands up. “She did that all on her own. Telling her no is like asking to be attacked.”

  “Whatever,” Sam drawls. “Let’s go out back. It’s loud in here.”

  Together we four make our way to her patio. There’s a swinging bench in front of a fire pit and we all gather around it. I sit on the floor next to Jax.

  “You want a shot?” he asks, having brought out the bottle of Crown. I scrunch up my nose and he laughs. “After the second one it all tastes the same.”

  “She totally needs one. Unrequited love is a bitch,” Sophie chimes in.

  I glare at her. “Okay, Shakespeare.”

  She laughs. “Your eye so twitched.”

  “It did,” Sam chimes in. “Wait, who doesn’t love her back?”

  I look down at my lap. Thankfully Sophie gets the hint. “Sam Hunt,” she whispers conspiratorially.

  Samantha giggles. “I saw him live. He totally winked at me.”

  “S
o did the janitor at work.” Sophie nods at Jax. “Get her drunk.”

  “Talk about peer pressure,” I mumble, taking the shot from Jax. I toss it back and hand him the glass. “Next you’re going to dare me to take a shot naked.”

  Sam laughs and then says, “Ohh! We should play truth or dare.”

  “Oh yes!”

  “I’m down,” Jax says.

  Everyone looks at me expectedly. “Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?”

  “Raina, go first since you thought of it. Truth or dare?” Sam starts off.

  I’m lost. I thought of this? “Truth…”

  “What color are your panties?” Jax asks, grinning at me.

  “Pink lace.” I watch him squirm.

  “Hot,” he says. “My turn. I pick dare.”

  “I dare you to take your shirt off and lick your nipple,” Sam orders.

  He shrugs and does what he’s told. He takes his flannel shirt off and then attempts to bend his head to lick his nipple. The girls love it. I can’t help seeing an anteater.

  “I pick dare,” Sophie proudly chooses.

  “I dare you to kiss Sam. With tongue.” Jax nudges me with his elbow like I’m a horny man.

  I roll my eyes at him.

  Samantha and Sophie make kissy faces at each other. And then Sam grabs Sophie’s face and presses their lips together.

  Beside me Jax exhales. “Truth or dare, Sam?”

  “Dare,” she answers before going back to making out with Sophie.

  I look away when I see tongue. Look what you started. I need another shot.

  “I dare you to give her a hickey.”

  “How seventh grade of you,” I tease him.

  He nods, watching Samantha suck on Sophie’s neck. “Seventh grade was good days.”

  Sam giggles when she pulls away, rubbing the red spot on Sophie’s neck. “Do you have work tomorrow?”

  “No!” she explodes, laughing.

  “Truth or dare?” Jax taps my shoulder.

  “Dare…” I don’t like the way Sophie’s looking at me, daring me to say “truth” so she can talk about Kent. Kent and Samantha and Raina will not mix tonight.

  Sam grins. “I dare you to make out with Jax.”

  “Of course you do.” I shake my head and grab Jax’s hand. “Are you a good kisser?”