Smooth Sailing

by Susan X Meagher

  “Yes, I do.” She hated to “come out” to strangers since they either wanted tickets to a park or made fun of her for working for a teddy bear, but since the woman was in line for the cruise, she could hardly throw stones. “Six years. One of the bad things about working for a family-entertainment conglomerate is that they’ve got a handy cruise ship to stick me on. That keeps me from working on opening the new theme park in Osaka, and that’s supposed to be to everyone’s benefit.”

  “Oh, I heard about that. I don’t think I’ll ever get over there, but I’d love to take the kids to the original park in LA.”

  “It’s nice.” Laurie smiled and let herself feel the spark of pleasure she got when a civilian expressed excitement about one of their parks.

  The pleasure was destroyed in seconds. The woman caught her daughter’s attention and said, “Lindsay, this lady works with Teddy Bear.”

  The little girl looked at Laurie with awe, as though she were about to bow down before her. “Teddy Bear?” she shrieked. “You know Teddy Bear?”

  “Well, no,” Laurie stammered. “I don’t actually know him. He’s…he’s usually in…Florida and I work in California…” That should work, since the mother said they hadn’t been to the original park.

  “Teddy Bear?” Other, older children hesitantly approached, surrounding Laurie as though she were a creature under study. They launched questions at her with rapidity. “Have you been to his Bee Hive? Do you know Buzzy? How about his cousin Brownie? Elmer the cat?”

  “No, no, really,” she insisted. “I don’t work near Teddy Bear. He’s at the theme park…I mean, his house over here in Miami almost all the time.”

  The woman in charge called their row and the kids forgot about Laurie as soon as they began to move. She stayed right in her seat to allow a dozen kids and their parents and grandparents to move past her until no one in the line knew she worked with or for Teddy Bear and his ilk.

  *

  The procedure for boarding was crisp and efficient, as all Luxor brands strove to be. One thing you could count on with Luxor was efficiency, not to mention boundless friendliness. Laurie said hello to no fewer than fifteen friendly faces on her way to her cabin. Her steward caught her as she was going in and offered to do anything she needed at any time of day or night. With complete relief, she shut the door and leaned against it, hoping no one followed her in to smile and welcome her further.

  She sat on the bed and took her laptop out, immediately following the instructions on the TV for ordering Wi-Fi. Her job didn’t require a great deal of technical proficiency, but she was no slouch when it came to being a techie. After her tenth time trying to log on she took her computer up to the Internet Café and asked for help. A friendly, smiling young man whose ID labeled him “Terry” worked on it for several minutes, then said, “Oh, I see the problem. Your account has been locked. Did you or your husband ask us to shut off the Internet because you didn’t want your kids using it?”

  “No husband. No kids.”

  “Oh.” He smiled again and continued running through procedures. “I’m trying to turn it back on, but it’s still blocked. Would you mind if I worked on this a little later?” He discreetly eyed the line behind her and said quietly, “You understand we have to put non team members first, right?”

  “Oh, yes, Terry, I certainly do.” Terry had clearly been able to tell from her reservation that she was a team member. There was no anonymity at Luxor. You were all part of the group, and every member of the group came after every member of the public. She gritted her teeth and went back to her cabin, grumpily consigned to work on just her PDA and her smartphone. Luckily, she had a strong signal on both and she texted back and forth with her staff in Osaka, who were just getting in on Monday morning. Sometimes the sixteen-hour time difference between home and Japan worked to her advantage.

  She worked until the horn blasted a noise loud enough to be heard in Cuba. “I’ll call you right back,” she told Toshi. Then she went to the balcony and watched the ship back out of its slip, amazed that the huge vessel could back up as easily as a cabin cruiser. The whole procedure was fascinating, and she spent a good half hour watching the skyscrapers of Miami fade into the setting sun. With a start, she called Toshi back, embarrassed that she’d been so taken with the departure that she’d forgotten all about him. They talked for a while, then the signal faltered, then stopped. She knew she wouldn’t have another cell signal until they reached land: the Internet was now not a luxury, but a requirement.

  Even though the public came first, she had her business card with her —the one that identified her as a vice president of the corporation. She jotted down her cabin number on it, planning to use it for dual purposes in case one of the technical guys needed to call her. She’d never used her position to get any special treatment, but today was an exception. If Terry tried to slough her off, she was going to show him that her place in the company was higher than his bosses’ bosses’ boss, and then some. It was a breach of every tenet of the Teddy Bear brand, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

  Resolved, she strode back to the Internet Café to find Terry huddled with yet another earnest young man, both of them leaning over her laptop. “What’s up?” she asked.

  “Oh, hi, Ms. Nielsen,” Terry said. He looked worried enough that he must have figured out she was a VIP. “We’re having a heck of a time with your access.”

  “Well, I need it. I’ll just use a desktop until you can fix it.”

  “Oh, sure.” He walked over to a computer and instructed her in putting in her stateroom and name. But, once again, her access was denied.

  It was very hard to keep her temper under control, but these guys were screwing with her life. “Terry, I don’t have time to play with this. Give me an access code that will work. Now.”

  His eyes grew wide and he gave his companion a quick glance. “We’re not allowed to let anyone use our codes. That’s cause for termination.”

  “If you don’t give me a code, the new park in Osaka might be delayed,” she hissed quietly, making sure no one else could hear. “I’ve got things I have to do today. They’re vital.”

  “I’ll call someone in Miami,” he said, almost shaking.

  She cooled her heels for a few minutes, trying to think of a way to properly apologize for scaring the poor kid. But when he came back, he looked more puzzled than intimidated, and it slipped her mind. “Miami says you’re not allowed to use the Internet, Ms. Nielsen.”

  “What?” Her shout made every head turn. “What?”

  “I don’t understand what’s going on, but someone in Los Angeles put a block on your access. We’re under strict orders not to let you use any of our computers.” He looked sad, as though she were being fired and he was delivering the bad news. “I’m genuinely sorry.”

  She walked over to Terry’s comrade and held out her hands. He put the laptop in them and she started to leave, then remembered her manners and said, “I’m very sorry for losing my temper. I’ve been under a lot of pressure. Please don’t take it personally.”

  “I understand,” he said, his smile back in place. “Have a super sweet day, filled with honey!”

  *

  It took a long time for her to calm down enough to convince herself not to jump overboard and swim to shore. Yes, she’d probably drown, but at least she’d have gone down with a fight. It was absolutely infuriating that this was supposed to be relaxing. It was like being forced to stand in the corner for two weeks. Human Resources was populated by people who’d never had a deadline in their lives, and they didn’t know a thing about pressure. She’d clashed with HR too many times to count, and they were obviously using this vacation gambit to put her in her place. But no one in HR would be humiliated on two continents if the theme part didn’t open on time. Only she’d get that honor.

  Thinking about it just agitated her, but what else was there to do with no phone, and no internet? Her cabin, though nice enough, was small, and after a w
hile the walls were closing in on her. With nothing to do until her eight-thirty dinner reservation, she went onto the pool deck and found an empty deck chair. Turning it to face the water, she thought about ways to smooth the opening of the park—her park—in Osaka. She was achingly lonely, like she was the only person around who realized how difficult it was to make tough things look easy. Suddenly, it hit her. She was among friends. Everyone working on the ship knew how hard it was, and it was their job to make sure the passengers did not. That’s what made Luxor the respected brand it was, and she was inordinately proud to be one of the busy bees making sure the hive worked to perfection.

  *

  She’d filled out a few questionnaires about the cruise while waiting to board, and she’d made sure to request a single table. To her dismay, she was shown to a table with nine other travelers. “I requested to sit alone,” she whispered to the captain.

  “Yes, miss,” he said in his soft Croatian accent. “But my supervisor informed me you should be seated with other guests who do not have children.”

  Not willing to make a scene, she gave him a tight smile and acquiesced. She sat down and met everyone: a young couple from LA who also worked for The Bear, as the cognoscenti called it; a group of three sisters from Toledo who loved all things Bear related and couldn’t understand why there weren’t more people without kids on the cruise; and four men who didn’t explicitly announce they were gay but could have been picked out as Friends of Dorothy by the most oblivious passerby.

  Everyone at the table was nice enough, and they all desperately wanted to converse, but it was very tough to make a contribution. Small talk was named that for a reason. People seemed to need it, but why? Who really cared where these strangers were from? Were they going to be friends after this trip? No. The last thing she needed was another person in her life that she’d be forced to ignore. She didn’t even have time to call her mother! But maybe one of them had internet access and she could… No, somehow Fernando would find out and next he’d send her to a monastery.

  Every person said something about him or herself, and when it came to her turn, she said, “I’m Laurie, and I’m trying to get my life back together after a”—she fixed each person with a cold stare—“a bunch of people messed me up. In the— Where I was for a while— They told me it’s good to talk about what happened.” She let her eyes dart from one set of startled eyes to another. “But talking isn’t gonna change the past.” She folded her hands neatly on the white tablecloth and mumbled, “Next.” After a few minutes the rest of her tablemates found safe subjects to banter about, but for some reason, they studiously avoided her.

  Chapter Three

  THE NEXT EVENING, the phone in her room rang right before dinner. “Hello, Laurie,” Fernando said.

  “What’s wrong? Her heart raced, sure something catastrophic had occurred.

  “I had to waste ten valuable minutes trying to smooth some ruffled feathers in Miami today.”

  “Miami?”

  “Yeah. At the cruise-line offices. Guess why they’re angry.”

  She didn’t reply, knowing he liked to play cat and mouse.

  “That’s right, my friend. Some people don’t like an outsider wasting their time, telling them how to improve their product.”

  “I’m not an outsider. I’m part of the Luxor team!”

  “You don’t know the first thing about the cruise line.”

  “I know plenty about F and B and hotel management. I was just trying to share some of my thoughts.”

  “I’m sure you were. But the theme parks are a different animal. We do things our way and they do things theirs. Those people are busy, and they don’t have time to talk to an outsider. Besides, you’re on vacation. No more work.”

  “Fine,” she said, chastened.

  “And don’t even think about going to the buffet for your meals. I’m getting a report on your attendance in the dining room.”

  “Fernando, I’m here. Isn’t that enough?”

  “No. I want you to learn how to be a civilized adult. Learn how to talk about more than business. Play bingo; go to the bar; read a book. Just do something other than harass the staff.”

  “I wasn’t harassing them,” she grumbled. “It was that F and B manager, wasn’t it? She was a bitch.”

  “It’s her food and her beverages. Stay out of it. Now, go have fun.”

  Fun is work, work is fun. She thought it, but had the prudence not to say it.

  *

  At dinner, everyone dutifully asked her if she’d enjoyed her day in San Juan. When she said she hadn’t gotten off the boat, no one asked a follow-up question, and she was left to eat her dinner. She intentionally stopped by the head waiter’s area on the way out to ensure her attendance was noted.

  *

  Up before dawn the next day, she tried to trick herself into falling asleep again, but it was a waste of time She decided to go to the library to find something to read. She hadn’t read fiction since college, and wasn’t very fond of it then, but she figured as she had nothing else to do, she might as well give it a try.

  Even though she was looking for a novel, the business section called to her. Regrettably, the management books were written for a general audience and gave elementary advice. Instead, she picked up the first mystery her hand landed on. After a quick breakfast, she went out to the pool deck to read.

  She’d barely passed page ten when her head dropped to the right and she fell asleep, remaining in that exact pose until three. Despite a crick in her neck from her slumped position, she had to admit she felt a little more energetic after the longest stretch of sleep she’d had in weeks.

  *

  Laurie hadn’t gotten to her position in the company by failing to follow orders. She decided to stop fighting, to listen to Fernando, and to try to relax. But how do you learn to relax when you’ve spent your entire adult life trying not to? It took a massive dedication to ignore her needs for the good of the project, but now that the project was off limits, her body started to speak, and she was forced to listen. Every part of her ached, and she slowly realized she wasn’t sick at all, she was exhausted. Even “exhausted” was too weak a word for it, but she didn’t have a better one. If Osaka was off limits, then getting herself ready for the final push would be the new goal.

  She attacked the goal with her usual élan. She needed to fuel her body with sleep, and sleep she did. She slept at sea, she slept at port, she slept during the napkin-folding classes and the dance instructions. She slept on the deck at the adults-only pool for so many hours, she was surprised someone didn’t call the ship’s doctor. But after a solid week of nothing but eating and sleeping, she woke up early one morning, ready to begin her vacation.

  At work, she was most concerned with looking professional. That had become the only thing she cared about, but she decided it was time to pamper her body, to get it ready to dive back into the shark’s tank. Having made an appointment in the spa, she treated herself to a facial and a soothing massage, something she never took time to do. That night she dressed more carefully, spent a few more minutes fixing her hair, and put on some makeup. By the time she got to the dining room at least four men had noticed her, and the table captain so obviously checked her out it was funny. That felt surprisingly good. Rare, but good.

  *

  There were plenty of things to do after dinner, but sitting out by the pool, watching the moonlight glisten on the water was her favorite. It was warm and breezy, and the wind in her hair felt sensual, almost erotic. It had been so very long since anyone had caressed her that she’d almost forgotten what a gentle touch on her neck felt like.

  With relatively nothing on her mind, she let her thoughts drift to her body and the dearth of touch it had experienced. She concentrated hard and tried to feel her erogenous zones. Her nipples stiffened against her bra and she rhythmically squeezed her vulva a few times. Everything was still there, but it had all fallen into a coma.

  Actually, that was a
little disingenuous. There wasn’t a huge difference between now and any other time in her life. Sex had never been a driving force, and there was little reason to think that would change. Living with a man had been very satisfying, and being a couple made life easier on many, many levels. But the sex had been an add-on that didn’t make or break the relationship.

  It was uncomfortable to think about how often she’d lied to cover up her lack of interest, but the truth was that she had sex primarily to please men. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy it. It was really nice sometimes, and pretty nice fairly often. But her boyfriends always, always wanted it much more than she did. Her adult sex life had consisted mostly of boyfriends pressing for sex and her whittling down their needs. If they wanted it every day she tried to get it down to every other day. If that worked, then she’d try for every third. There had always been an unspoken negotiation going on, and she was both a party and the arbitrator. It really wasn’t fair, but great sex was more likely when it was less frequent—at least for her. She was certain none of her past boyfriends had shared that idea.

  Her sister the sex fiend had busted her many times, prying, in Laurie’s opinion, about her lack of enthusiasm. Their mom had even joined in, asking if she might be a lesbian. But that wasn’t it. That would have been apparent by now. The simple fact was that her drive just wasn’t strong. Maybe it was hormonal, or biochemical, or just the way she was made. But even though she was feeling more sexual than she’d felt in a very long time, she knew she would go back to her cabin alone and go right to sleep.

  *

  Early the next morning, when the ship pulled into St. Maarten, Laurie got up and peered through her window to see a lovely tropical island surrounded by water a shade of turquoise she didn’t know was possible. Energized, she put on a pair of shorts, a nice blouse, and an attractive pair of sandals, and spent some extra time fixing her hair. She looked good. Darned good. It was her vacation and she was going to find someone to at least buy her a drink. Teddy Bear ruled her world, but she couldn’t anthropomorphize him into a decent date, and it had been too long since she’d had one. Luckily, she’d have to leave said date at four o’clock, and wouldn’t have to have more than sparkling conversation—if she remembered how to do that.