Smooth Sailing

by Susan X Meagher

“No excuses,” the man said, holding up a hand as he scampered to put his laptop on the table and power it up.

  “This is the late Aaron Rosenberg and Andrea Fields. Aaron’s my lieutenant and Andrea is Aaron’s lieutenant.” She put her hand on Kaatje’s shoulder. “You both met Kaatje in LA. She’s going to shadow us today. Everybody ready?”

  Everyone made some sort of affirmative response and Laurie launched into her agenda. She went to a huge white board with writing covering two thirds of it and put a marker on the blank section. “Let’s make our list of action items. I assume everyone agrees that the queues at security are much too long. We’ve got to reduce that waiting time today.” Her eyes scanned every person. “No excuses.”

  She wrote “security line” on the board and put a big number one next to it. Going down the list, she moved through the items already on the board, erasing some and transferring the others onto the new list—with different numbers next to them.

  When the list was finished she looked out at the group and said, “If your initials are next to an item, I’ll want a status report when I get to the attraction. I want that from you, not a subordinate.” She lowered her voice to make sure everyone was paying attention. “I will not accept any excuses for not knowing the status.” Every head nodded, including Kaatje’s, which almost made Laurie spit.

  It was quarter of eight when someone knocked and entered. A young Japanese woman pushed a cart into the room. “Michiko, good to see you. Okay. Let’s get some food and get going.” Everyone went to the cart and started to pour coffee or tea into paper cups. Laurie scanned the repast, looking past the miso soup and pickles and grabbing a bagel.

  After everyone had something Laurie said, “Michiko, will you copy everything from the whiteboards onto your tablet? Then we’ll get rolling. We’re going to go through the park, starting at the hotel.” Turning to address the group, she added, “I assume you’ll all be ready to meet when we get to your area. Don’t keep us waiting, okay? We’ve got a lot of ground to cover.” She pointed a finger at Aaron. “Stick with me today. Andrea, you follow Hiroshi. Everybody clear?”

  Seven heads nodded. “Okay. We’re off!”

  *

  They went outside and got into a four-seat golf cart. “Will you drive?” Laurie asked Aaron. He and Michiko got in the front, and Laurie and Kaatje hopped into the back. “Head to the main hotel. They got a few complaints about hot water.”

  “You’re like the king,” Kaatje whispered into Laurie’s ear when the electric cart took off.

  “I am the king. Until we turn this place over to Hiroshi, I’m in charge.”

  “I don’t think anyone doubts that.” Kaatje’s grin was playful, and Laurie got a distinct thrill from seeing her job through Kaatje’s eyes.

  As they arrived at the hotel, Laurie jumped out while the cart was still moving. The lobby was filled with guests, most of them hovering around the concierge desks. Laurie stopped for a second, saying to Michiko, “Make a note to have someone clock how long it takes to speak to a concierge. Fifteen minutes is the max we should ever allow.”

  “Right,” she said, tapping the note onto her tablet computer.

  They found the head of the hotel, the chief engineer, and the chief plumber waiting for them. Only the hotel manager spoke enough English to conduct complex business, but all were able to speak well enough to be understood. After a few minutes of introductions and bows, they all trooped down to the boiler room. “Ever been in a plant this complex?” Laurie asked Kaatje.

  “Not hardly.” She stood there for a moment, her eyes scanning across the myriad of pipes, gauges and tanks. “And I’ve been on a Dutch naval ship.”

  “Ask them if they’re sure there’s enough hot water,” Laurie told Michiko.

  Michiko and the staff spoke back and forth for a minute, then she reported they had the biggest hot water boiler of any of the hotels. They were certain there was enough for a sellout, with ten percent excess just in case.

  “Aaron? Ideas?”

  “Temperature in the tanks?”

  Again Michiko asked and listened to a long explanation. Walking away from the group. Laurie took out her phone, made a call, and paced up and down a catwalk as she talked. Michiko spoke loudly, “Temperature is at the maximum allowed per regulation.”

  Snapping her cell phone closed, Laurie walked back to the group. “Let’s go to a room.”

  They went in a service elevator to an empty room. The whole crowd entered a bathroom and Laurie turned on the tap. In just seconds, it warmed up to its max. “Not hot enough,” she said. “Make it hotter.”

  The plumber removed the shiny chrome trim from the wall and adjusted the mixer on the valve by moving it up just a millimeter at a time. When Laurie was satisfied she said, “Why wasn’t it at this temperature to start with?”

  The hotel manager said, “We have to make sure no one can scald themselves. I think the way we had it was correct.”

  “Not for me. Maybe it’s a cultural issue. Michiko, ask the engineer if this temperature is safe. If he’s one hundred percent sure it is, we’ll make the change.”

  While Michiko relayed the message, Laurie asked Aaron, “How would you implement the change?”

  His eyes narrowed as he thought. “How many maintenance workers do we have?”

  The manager started to answer just as Michiko’s walkie-talkie went off. She stepped out of the bathroom, speaking in Japanese, leaving the hotel manager to answer. “We have six on duty during the daylight,” he said in his precise English.

  The engineer spoke and Michiko ducked back in to translate. “He says it’s safe, but only just.”

  “How many complaints were reported?” Aaron asked.

  “Ten,” Michiko replied.

  “It looks like it will take at least twenty minutes to change each control valve. To do three hundred rooms will take…a hundred hours. That’s a big investment of man-hours. I’d change them as complaints came in, then start changing them as each room opens up. I’d keep one worker doing it full time, and have the others do rooms as they have time. No overtime for this. I don’t think it’s serious enough.”

  Laurie looked at him sharply. “Anything else?”

  He stared at her for just a moment. “Yeah. I’d offer something to the guests who complain.” He caught the attention of the hotel manager. “What’s an inexpensive perk?”

  “A photo with Teddy Bear? A free movie?”

  “Good. I’d offer either of those things, and have one phone operator take all complaints about water temperature. He or she can make sure the guest gets the perk they want and that the dedicated maintenance worker gets the call.” He looked directly at Laurie, waiting for her verdict.

  She winked at him as she started out of the room. “Make it happen.”

  *

  They got onto a passenger elevator to go to the lobby. “Was that a test?” Kaatje asked.

  “Of Aaron? Yeah. I want him to start taking over. I think he’s ready.”

  “He seems it. But he looks pretty young.”

  Laurie bumped her with her shoulder. “He’s your age. Old enough to sleep with—old enough to make decisions.”

  *

  At 11:40 they stood at the Jungle Safari ride, seven sets of eyes trained on people entering and exiting the boats. “The engineer says the boats are performing exactly like they did during testing,” Michiko related.

  “That might be, but the line snaking all the way to Tokyo is a big, big problem.” Laurie stared at the families slowly boarding the eight passenger boats. She clicked her stopwatch, then clicked it again. “Kunio, what was the clock during testing?”

  Michiko asked the question, her walkie-talkie squawking in Japanese the whole time. Laurie continued to time each group as they got on.

  “Ten seconds,” Michiko related.

  “It’s taking between fifteen and twenty,” Laurie said. “That’s unacceptable.”

  Kaatje cleared her throat and asked, “Uhm
, is there a difference in how long it takes families with kids?”

  Laurie shot her a look, then started timing again. After a few minutes she said, “Yes. With small kids it’s taking twenty seconds. With bigger kids, eight to ten.”

  “The kids have to step down too far,” Kaatje said. “They look tentative.”

  Laurie moved to where Kaatje was standing, now able to see how many of the kids looked frightened. “How young were the kids in our testing?”

  A few bouts of translation gave the answer, “All ages. Ten seconds was the average.”

  “Is there a tide?” Kaatje asked, wrinkling her nose. “Or is this all fake.”

  Laurie gave her a sharp look. “It’s all engineered. Everything is static.” She whirled and glared at the engineer. “It is the same, right? Everything is exactly the same as it was during testing?”

  Michiko translated her question and the engineer scrambled to the edge of the walkway and stuck his tape measure into the water. He was pale when he returned. He spoke, looking like he wished the ground would open up and swallow him. Michiko gave him a stern look when she translated, “The water is three inches lower than it was during testing.”

  Laurie didn’t say a word. She just glared at the man, turned and headed back to the golf cart with Kaatje scampering after her.

  Laurie jumped into the cart, mumbling, “When a visitor can guess the problem long before the experts, you’re fucked.” Hearing how harsh that sounded, she consciously put a smile on and kissed Kaatje on the cheek. “Thanks. You saved me untold thousands of dollars. Figuring out the problem in something like that is the hard part.”

  “Does ten extra seconds make that big a difference?”

  “Yep. A one hundred percent increase in loading screws everything up. Makes people mad too. You can’t afford that.” The more she spoke the madder she felt. “The engineer thinks I can’t understand him, but I heard him admit he didn’t test water levels yesterday. He didn’t think it was necessary.” She looked like she was going to get out of the cart and strangle him. “And I’m going to have to slap Michiko around for not translating that. But I’ll do that in private.” She was still fuming when Aaron and Michiko joined them. “Idiot,” she growled. “How can you call yourself an engineer and not test that conditions are identical. Does he know why it’s low?”

  Aaron shook his head. “Probably a leak. We’re going to waste a lot of water until they can find it and seal it.”

  “Make sure the company that built the lagoon is involved in the troubleshooting. We’re not eating that cost.”

  “Already did,” Aaron said, looking pleased with himself.

  Michiko tentatively spoke up. “The engineer didn’t test the water levels before opening.”

  “Why didn’t you say that then?” Laurie asked, peevishly.

  “He would lose all respect,” she said quietly. “His mistake was very bad.”

  “Right, right. I’m sorry for snapping.” Michiko nodded and she and Aaron spoke quietly while they started up.

  Laurie whispered, “One of my biggest faults is not being culturally sensitive enough. I’ve gotta work on that. Calling somebody out in front of other people is really harsh.”

  “It’s best not to do that in St. Maarten either. You’re not wasting your time in working on that.”

  *

  Lunch was steamed anpan with Teddy Bear’s head imprinted in the dough and an apple ice block, a frozen fruit ice with the same imprint. Everything was obtained by Michiko, who jumped out of the cart as they passed a snack stand and caught up with them at the next attraction. Still trying to down their lunch, they stopped at a ride where a number of children had fallen getting out of the car the day before. When the very contrite supervisor went into an elaborate explanation of his view of the situation, Laurie interrupted to ask, “What’s the height requirement? That sign looks wrong.”

  They had to wait for Michiko’s translation again, and Laurie took the delay to make a phone call, knocking another one off her list which was now down to twenty. “Thirty-six inches,” Michiko announced.

  Laurie met Kaatje’s gaze.

  “No way,” Kaatje said.

  Laurie took the tape measure off the ride engineer’s belt and headed over to the sign. It stood at thirty-nine inches. She tossed the tape measure back at him, growling, “Fix it, and check every other sign in the park. Send me a memo by the end of the day telling me you personally guarantee that every sign is at the stated height.” Then they were off again to sort out the next small but significant problem.

  *

  “I think you were being culturally insensitive,” Kaatje said quietly. “I can’t imagine it’s a good idea to yank things off people’s belts and then throw them back at them.”

  “I know.” Laurie dropped her head into her hands. “I’m just so short-tempered. These problems seem ridiculously simple to me, but I have to consider they’re working just as hard and doing things I don’t ever see.”

  “By the way, you’ve never told me you understood Japanese. How much do you speak?”

  “Just enough to understand numbers and their context perfectly. That’s all I care about,” she said, grinning unrepentantly.

  *

  They were on their way back to the conference room when Aaron said, “I don’t like the length of the lines at these food carts. None of the other ones were this long.”

  Laurie looked up from furiously scribbling notes. “I haven’t been paying attention. How long were the others?”

  “Half this length.”

  “Michiko, get Kunio and an engineer over here ASAP.” They got out and watched people order. Laurie had her stopwatch out, timing how long it took for a gyoza to be delivered. When the manager and the engineer arrived, they spent twenty minutes going over every possible permutation in the gyoza ordering and delivery process. They had the entire thing timed to a variance of fifteen seconds, but the actual process was taking considerably longer. “What else could it be?” Laurie asked. She paced around the cart, her eyes like an eagle’s spotting a mouse from fifty yards. “The staff is doing it right, the cash register is working, the grill is working, the food is at the proper temperature…” She crossed her arms, staring blankly.

  Kaatje said, “Ask the workers.”

  Laurie signaled Michiko. “Ask them if they have any ideas why the line is this long.”

  She returned in a minute. “They say the grill they trained on cooked the food faster.”

  Aaron took over, asking the engineer, “What affects cooking speed?”

  Michiko started to translate, but Aaron said, “Just tell him to troubleshoot it. I don’t need to hear what he’s going to do.”

  They all stood there, with Laurie making another two phone calls while they waited. Finally Michiko had an answer. “The grill is only operating at a hundred and ten volts. They are supposed to be at two hundred and twenty volts.”

  Laurie sighed and said, “Report by the end of the day. How many carts are affected, when they’ll be fixed, who’s responsible for the error, and who will pay for it if it wasn’t our fault.”

  They were close by, so they walked ahead to the conference room while Michiko and Aaron gave Laurie’s instructions to the staff.

  “Do you go at this rate every day?” Kaatje asked. “You haven’t even been to the bathroom.”

  Laurie’s eyes lit up and she took off running, turning to call over her shoulder. “Thanks for reminding me!”

  *

  From five until six, the core staff met to eat a bite and discuss strategy for the next day. Everyone had his or her laptop out and each took notes as things popped up. There wasn’t one word of chit-chat. At six on the dot, Laurie looked at her watch and said, “That’s all the time we have for fun. Let’s get started on our status reports. All hands in the conference room.”

  They started to walk from the private dining area to the Bee Hive. Kaatje said, “All hands means what?”

  “Every
division manager. The same group we met with this morning.”

  “What kind of reports do you have to do?”

  Laurie put her hand to her neck, acting like she was strangling herself. “The bane of my existence. Without the reports I could have left at five.”

  “It sucks,” Aaron chimed in. “Worst part of the job—by far.”

  “What’s in the reports?” Kaatje asked.

  “I have to update LA on everything from attendance and hotel occupancy to overtime, injury reports, and more and more and more.”

  “Every day?”

  “Every day,” Aaron agreed. “The only good part of it is that no one is at the office in LA when we send the reports. If they were there, it would take twice as long because they’d have a million questions.”

  “Small favors,” Laurie said, smiling tiredly.

  *

  The managers were grilled over the most minor of costs, expenses and problems. After an hour they were released and Laurie, Aaron, Andrea, Hiroshi and Toshi worked at their laptops for another hour. Then Laurie took all of their reports and went over each item, asking question after question. Finally, at eight thirty, she sent the entire batch of reports to the proper people at headquarters and slammed her laptop closed. She sat back in a chair and let her body relax for the first time all day. “Well, that was fun. Who wants to do it again tomorrow?”

  *

  As they were walking out of the building, Laurie asked, “Michiko, will you make a note that my niece’s birthday is next Wednesday? I’ve got to send something tomorrow or it’ll never get there.”

  “Which niece?”

  “The younger one.”

  “I’ll have a selection of gifts for you to choose from. Clothes or books or games?”

  “She likes books, but she’s still into toys. Might as well go with that. She’d love something Japanese.”

  “It won’t be a problem.”

  “Thanks.” Laurie patted her on the back. “You’ve saved my life more times than I can count. And thanks for reminding me that I come on too strong with the staff sometimes. I’ll try to be more sensitive.”