Soulshine

by J W Rocque

  Evan loved her innocence. “How much longer do you think everyone could go on without getting suspicious of us? Michelle, I"ve been around a long time… you know that. I"ve seen towns, and even cities, change drastically within a couple of decades. We"ll come back here someday… you"ll see. It won"t be the same place. You"ll be glad we moved on.”

  Michelle"s eyes brightened with hope. “When will we return?”

  Evan tried to soften the blow with a kiss. “When we are certain that those who knew us are no longer here. We"ll get to witness the next generation of your old town.”

  Michelle put her head under Evan"s chin. “My parents will be dead when we return, won"t they?”

  “They would have to be. I know this is a lot for you to accept. I"m sorry.” Evan paused, not knowing what to say next. “I love you and I look forward to spending year after year with you.”

  Michelle was visibly torn. “I… suppose that even normal people move away from their families because of jobs or the military… but they doget to keep in contact with their families.”

  Evan shrugged. He loved Michelle enough to let her choose to stay.“I could go far away by myself and keep in touch with you by letters. You could come to visit me from time to time. Maybe you could tell your parents what happened and everything will somehow work out for you. I just know from my own experience that staying in one place raises too many questions. I understand if you need timeto think things through. I"ll always be waiting for you.”

  “I could do that… but then I"d be watching my parents get old… and eventually they would die. No, Evan. I"ll go with you. I want to be with you. Can I just spend one more night at home… just to tell my parents that I love them? If I am going to leave without telling themI"m leaving, I would at least want to leave them with some nice words to remember me by.”

  “Sure, you can. You can have a week or a whole month if you"d like.”

  Michelle gave Evan a big kiss. “You"re the absolute greatest… and a week should be fine. It will give me a lot of chances to do some nice things for them. Plus I"m anxious to start my life by your side.”

  “I have to correct you, Michelle. You’re the greatest. We can tell your parents that we decided to go on a little trip. That will spare you from sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night. They may not approve of us going off together, being unmarried… but after all, you areeighteen.” Evan paused and looked forward to being with Michelle for countless years. “I can hardly wait to make love to you again.”

  Michelle looked lost in thought.

  “Is everything alright?” asked Evan.

  “Do you remember when we made love on my birthday?”

  “I may be old, but my memory is impeccable,” laughed Evan. “It was excellent… the best experience of my life.”

  “Mine too. But… I didn"t get pregnant with your child. I would have known by now if I did.”

  Evan sighed. “Michelle… I don"t know if you will ever get pregnant. That day was a good test. We were both so ready for each other. But I knew there were three possibilities. Either you would have a baby that would eventually grow older than us… the least desirable of the three scenarios… or you would have a baby thatwould never age… I"m not sure if that would be very desirable either… or no aging would take place inside your womb… and therefore no life would come to full term. It could very well be that the latter is our fate. Still… perhaps it"s best for us to use protection.”

  “I wanted so much tohave a baby with you… I didn"t think of the possibilities.”

  “And I just wanted to make love to you… so I didn"t think about it either. But it looks like your body just may not be capable of providing growth to new life. I suppose we can look for the silver lining and be glad that we can keep making love to each other.”

  Michelle giggled. “You know what might be a fun thing to do? We could adopt children, have fun teaching them and playing with them, and then as they reach your age… well, the age you look anyway… they could go off on their own. And with each child we adopt, we could let each one in on our little secret before they go off on their own.”

  Evan chuckled as he thought about it, then he shook his head. “Michelle, I don"t think I could bear to nurture someone and then send him or her off knowing they are going to grow old and die while we keep on living and enjoying life.” He gave her a big hug and kiss. “From here on out, I think it"s just you and me, honey.”

  December 13, 1983 Michelle arrived back on the third floor of the hospital. She wanted to get away from the phone booth where her mother was talking to her dad. The conversation was everything that she dreaded it would be… and more. As she approached the area near Evan"s room, Dr. DiLaurio called her over.

  “Hi, doctor. How"s Evan? Please tell me that he"ll be alright. I need him so badly right now.”

  “Miss Fleming, Evan is in a grave situation. There is nothing more we can do for him. Tomorrow an ambulance will be transporting him to Fletcher University Hospital, where at least they are more advanced than we are. It is our hope that they can save him. However, I wanted to talk to you about… yourself.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. When you both arrived here after your accident, you recall that we ran tests on both of you… in your case for precautionary reasons.”

  “Yes… is there anything wrong?”

  “No… no. Congratulations, young lady. It appears that you are pregnant.”

  Michelle"s mouth dropped. “But that"s not possible… or so wethought.”

  Frank smiled. “You"ve been trying for a long time, have you? Well, I just can"t get over how young you look. Anyway, you are approximately two weeks pregnant. I suggest you find a good obstetrician.If you need a referral, I"d be happy to give you one… though it would be a local doctor.”

  “Two weeks? That isimpossible. Why, it"s been longer than that since Evan and I…”

  “Has there been anyone else that could be the father?”

  “No!” shouted Michelle instinctively. “I"m sorry, doctor. It"s just that I know for certain that I only… um, you know… with Evan.”

  Frank smiled again. “Well, maybe it was about two weeks ago and you just lost track of time.”

  Michelle went over the last few weeks in her mind. She and Evan had been doing a lot of traveling. Their romantic moments together had been wonderful, but… they always used protection.

  April, 1959 Bryan and Eric relaxed in their favorite New York jazz club. “Can I buy you a beer or something?” Bryan asked.

  “You know I don"t drink alcohol. Besides, I never could figure out what men found desirable in that beverage.”

  “Oh, that"s right. How about a soda then?”

  “Too much sugar. Really… I"m content with a slice of lime in a glass of water.”

  “Boring. Do you not drink for religious reasons?”

  “Health reasons. I want to ensure that I live a long time.”

  “Ah, who wants to live forever?”

  “Maybe I do. Besides, even if we all eventually die, shouldn"t we at least be in the best of health while we live?”

  Bryan took another sip of his scotch. “How do you like the music?”

  “I like it. You know… back when I was in Kansas City, there was this club that featured some great old jazz bands that played the old stuff. There"s not much new jazz going down today. I"m starting to convert over to rock and roll. You know, Elvis, Buddy Holly...now there"s a guy who"s ahead of the pack and doing something new.”

  Bryan nodded. “I"m still partial to jazz. So how are things withJean?”

  “We"re good friends. I told you a long time ago that"s what she needed… a guy who knew how to just be her friend. She needs to be able to trust men.”

  “I was just thinking that she wouldn"t like Elvis all very much. The provocative hip movement would be in sharp contrast to her religiosity.”

  Eric laughed. “She"s a good person. She turned to religion as a bandage for her wounds. I ca
n"t get into any deep spiritual discussions with her without shaking her faith. So I concentrate on justbeing her friend.”

  “Would you like to be more?”

  “Not really. It wouldn"t work.”

  “Do you think… all things being different… you"d like to make it withher?”

  “I suppose. She is attractive. And there is something sexy about a good-looking older woman. Yes, it would be nice to have something more intimate with Jean… but I"m still young and have all the time in the world. She"s the one who is more or less on the clock.”

  “Wow, I don"t know how you do it. Almost six years ago, you just turned thirty.You"re almost thirty-six and you still look like a college kid.”

  “Age doesn"t mean anything. I don"t think about my age, nor do I fret over the age of others… especially my women friends. What about you? Anything interesting in your life?”

  “Only my work, Eric. I was married once. That was misery. Why would I want another girlfriend? I"m happy with my circle of friends.” Bryan turned the conversation back to the subject of Eric. “Jeanlikes you a lot, you know.”

  “Maybe she does, Bryan, but thatis because I"m her friend. She doesn"t love me nor is she able to.” Eric tried to deflect the topic of conversation back to Bryan. “So… what has been interesting with your work?”

  “Well, there"s this monastery in the mountains of New Brunswick. The monks who reside there live to serve mankind in different capacities. They work the land, donate to the needy, and also operate a hospital for the needy. I"ll be going there to interview them for a feature story.”

  “Hmm… now there"s a place I"ve never been. I hear it"s quitescenic.”

  “Wow… I finally uncovered a place that the man who"s been everywhere hasn"t been to yet.”

  Eric chuckled. “Then maybe you should take me along.”

  “You don"t have work to do at the theater?”

  “I need to spend some time reading the next play we will be putting on. I didn"t tell you that I landed a part, did I?”

  “No, you didn"t. That"s great. I remember you saying that theater directors eventually discover your talent once you get your foot in the door.”

  “So when are you going to New Brunswick?”

  “I"ll be renting a car this weekend and driving up there. Once I reach Mt. Carleton, I need to get in touch with them and schedule a time to visit. They don"t usually entertain guests. I was fortunate to get this assignment and the best part is that I got it myself.”

  “How did you hear about them?”

  “I met someone a few weeks ago who happened to mention in conversation that the Brotherhood of Keepers took care of him when he took ill during a visit to the province. He was quite impressed with the hospitality and the fact they wanted no compensation for their services. I just had to contact them to see what they"re all about.”

  “Brotherhood of Keepers… what an interesting name.”

  “At least it"s easier to remember than the Order of Gerasimos.”

  “Gerasimos?”

  “Yes.” Bryan looked quizzically at Eric. “That"s the order the brotherhood belongs to. Does the name sound familiar to you?”

  “No… no… I mean it"s just a name that I recall somewhere in my past… but it was definitely nowhere near New Brunswick. It"s just a coincidence.”

  “Well, they should provide an interesting story. It should be a nice trip,too.”

  “Yes,” said Eric. “Yes,it should. I"ll bring my work along with me.” Eric gazed at his watch. “I should be heading back to the apartment to get some sleep. Are you heading back also?”

  “No,” said Bryan. “I"m going to stick around a while and have another drink. I"ll catch up with you later.”

  November, 1888 Michael Westbrook was silent through Eustace Tewksbury"s lengthy explanation. As he listened to Eustace"s fantastic account of his life, a myriad of thoughts flowed in and out of his head.He first considered Eustace"s mindset, and determined that he had known him long enough to attest to his sanity. Secondly, he wondered if Eustace could possibly be spinning a yarn, but dismissed the notion due to Eustace"s earnestness when it came to his service in the Church. Lastly, he thought about the young ladies who all had their eyes on Eustace seven years ago when he first arrived at this quaint stone temple nestled in the picturesque Cotswolds, and how they are all now in their thirties while Eustace still looks like the same enthusiastic youth he has known all those years. When Eustace was finally finished, there was an awkward silence.

  “So… you"re of Greek ancestry then .” Michael said it as a statement of fact, though he really said it for confirmation.

  Eustace nodded. He trusted the vicar implicitly. He felt he had nothing to fear.

  “And you knew Paul… thePaul,” continued Michael as he smoothed his face with his hand.

  “Somewhat. He… asked me to join him in his mission to set up churches in Greece. I… turned him down.”

  “And Jesus... did you… know Him?”

  “I wish I did. A lot of open questions would certainly be answered, but… I never ventured to the Middle East. Jesus" ministry was relatively short and He stayed in that part of the world.”

  “Open questions? You met Paul, for crying out loud. He must have had some influence on you. You became involved in the Church.”

  “Once I came to England for the third time, I became involved in the Church. I"ve lived in many different places in between. But recall… Paul started his ministry many years after Jesus" ministry. Even Paul admitted that he saw things as through glass darkly. Yet he was quite judgmental and… as I saw it… hard to deal with… especially concerning something he did not witness first-hand. I preferred to philosophize as I still do today. Take Jesus" words, though… at face value through the gospels… which is all we have of Him to hold onto. The simple truth conveyed through those words are what rounded out my philosophy to the point where I believe I can effectively teach that philosophy in a church thatproclaims His words today.”

  “So you consider yourself Christian then.” Again, Michael made a statement while looking for confirmation from Eustace.

  “Of course. I"ve met Aristotle and Plato. They were eloquent. Jesus empowered. That was the difference. All three men gave wise advice for living. Jesus… and keep in mind that I can know Him only through the words attributed to Him… gave clear direction. That"s what makes Him more than just a philosopher. And yet He was so simple. Love God and love your neighbors as yourself. What better way to sum up humankind"s responsibility in this world? Why… if everyone followed those two simple rules, we would have no wars, no angst and no want.”

  Michael fidgeted in his chair. “Yet you won"t admit to the inerrancy of the Holy Scriptures?”

  “Why must we take the giant leap of faith to believe that, after a few centuries of councils debating over which writings contained God"s words, we came to a point in time where we could say „this is it… God"s sanctioned texts"? Do we even need to accept everything in the gospels? What if Jesus never turned the water into wine, but it was a folklore handed down for a few decades and later included in John"s gospel? What if even the resurrection of Jesus was also a legend? Does it make His words any less valid?”

  “Now you"re suggesting things that enter the realm of blasphemy,” interrupted the vicar.

  “Which is precisely the sort of doctrinal intolerance I wish the young minds in the church to overcome, Vicar Westbrook.”

  “Look, Eustace, you simply cannot… even though you have had centuries to formulate your philosophy… you cannot include the doctrine of the divine inspiration of Scripture as intolerance.”

  “That"s only scratching the surface, Vicar. From that proclamation, the Church feels the need to establish all sorts of restrictions apart from the basic teachings of Jesus to simply love one"s maker and one"s fellow human beings. Why, just a few weeks ago a young couple… who truly loved each other and were never heard to utter one single derisive or scandalous word agains
t another member of our congregation… were sent away from the fellowship of believers because they dared to conceive a child out of wedlock. Which of Jesus" two commandments did they break?“

  Michael straightened in his chair. “Obviously the first of the two. They did not consider God in their choice to defile their bed outside the sanctity of holy matrimony.”

  “And you know this offends God because… of some chapter and verse penned by someone other than the One we proclaim as Lord?”

  Michael grew visibly tired of the conversation and now started to even doubt Eustace"s account of his own life. “Eustace, the issues here are obviously deeper than what I first knew to be so. I regret to inform you that I must remove you from any position of authority, especially as it pertains to teaching the highly impressionable youth.”

  Eustace bowed his head, drew a deep breath, and raised his headhigh again. “I only hope that whatever you do to erase the truth I have given them will fail to sway them. As of this moment, they all see that it was wrong to send that young couple away from the communion table, as well as the fellowship. I sincerely hope that they remain followers of the non-judgmental love that their Lord has taught them.”

  “You must not talk to them about your… philosophies… going forth, Eustace. Your influence must end so the Church may go on as God intended.”

  “So God intended being Christian to be more than following the teachings of Christ? Vicar… if someday proof is discovered that the resurrection never took place… I would still keep my faith in what Jesus said. Your faith would be destroyed because of your focus on who He is… or was.”

  “I do not begrudge your beliefs, Eustace. I just cannot approve of them in the Church.”

  Eustace shook his head in dismay. “I had hoped to make a positive difference, Vicar. The first time I ever came to England, I involved myself solely as a thespian… living my philosophy while influencing only a small inner circle of acquaintances. I met Shakespeare… a fascinating fellow… and so enjoyed the theater… but I felt there was something more for me to contribute. You are close to driving me back to the theater, Vicar. I suppose that would please you. I pray that I never lose my ideals and that I never lose focus on what is important in life. Perhaps I can best exemplify Christ through the arts. Isn"t it ironic that another of Jesus" sayings… which the Church considers God"s inerrant Word… is‘Judge not, lest ye be judged’? May we always remember that, Vicar.”