“I know it’s hard to understand”, Dad begins. “But Janice and I have-.”
Again she cuts him off. “We love each other”, Janice says, “and now the divorces have been granted, for both of us, we thought, you know, why wait?”
If Mom cut Dad off like that, she’d have heard about it. Seems Janice can do it with total immunity. Maybe Mom and Brian should get together and we could have one huge big fucked-up family.
Every weekend either there, here or some place in between, so much so that I hadn’t noticed time moving on for other people. I never thought this moment would come for Dad and Janice, even though Donkey were warning me about it before we even began.
“We wanted to let you know first”, Dad says.
They’re excited and have every right to be. I want both of my parents to be happy, and unfortunately, together, they never seemed to be able to achieve it. Dad’s different with Janice, for good or for bad, and Janice seems different with him too. Donkey say Brian feels free for the first time in years and has begun dating again. Mom on the other hand has sunk so far into depression, I worry what this news will do for her.
“Does Mom know?” I ask.
Dad gives me his shifty eyes and immediately looks uncomfortable. “Not yet”, he says. “We thought we’d tell her when we firm up the date. For now, as we are just in the planning stages, we wanted to keep it between you and the boys.”
Stepbrothers. What a ridiculous thought when at some point in the future we might want to do the same. Little by little Donkey and I have been growing stronger, and show no signs of even considering slowing up. A relationship between three people has its challenges, at least I thought it might when we begun, but the truth is, there is nothing so far that’s been able to get in our way. None of us care what people think and neither of the boys feel the least bit jealous of each other either inside or outside the bedroom.
Stepsiblings though, that’s another challenge entirely.
The waitress brings the food, three anemic hamburgers with floppy chips that have been cooked in dirty oil. Dad covers his in ketchup, making the whole thing look like some miniature crime scene.
Looking at the both of them makes me wonder what the chances were of them falling head over heels in love, while their children fell in love with each other at the same time too. It can’t happen too often, and it makes me want to know what she has that Mom was never able to offer him.
Oddly they look right together. Much more appropriate than Brian and Janice, much more together than Dad and Mom ever seemed.
“You don’t think you are rushing things?”, I ask. “You know, straight out of one marriage and head first into another?”
“We don’t see the point in waiting”, Janice says. “It’s something we’ve wanted for a long time, even before Doug and Sally split up.”
I change tact. “When were you thinking of?”
“In the spring”, Dad says quickly. “A little after maybe. You could be just a little happy for me if you wanted, it wouldn’t kill you.”
“I’m happy for you, Dad”, I say. “It’s just. I don’t know, having the twins as stepbrothers will be weird, and then there’s Mom. She’s having a hard time.”
“I know”, Dad says. “It might be weird at first, but it’ll soon seem very normal.”
“And Mom? You know she’s smoking, right? She sits on the porch and watches the sky, like, all night”, I say, concerned for her.
“Your mother has always been very spiritual”, Dad says, avoiding the point of the statement. “She’ll be fine, she just needs time to adjust.”
Sometimes I wonder if my parents ever loved each other at all, especially now my dad seems so happy, and so different. He seems like a completely different man entirely. Donkey don’t see Janice as much as I try and see Dad, and they blame her more for what happened in their family than I do to Dad for what happened in ours. While they were arguing so obviously next door, I didn’t notice my own family crumbling.
The burger tastes like plastic, and after two bites I don’t want to eat any more.
“Not hungry?” Janice asks.
I don’t know her well, but she seems sweet enough. Much calmer than the months of screaming would lead anyone to believe. I guess with Dad she’s much better off too.
“I guess I’m just a little shocked”, I admit. “Things have changed quite a lot over the last few months.”
“I’m much happier, Jenny”, Dad says. “And I’m sure in her heart of hearts your mother will be too. It’ll be easier for her if she can find a way to forgive me for what I’ve done, you know. I know you’ve found a way.”
“I’ve accepted it Dad, it’s a different thing. I don’t agree with what you did. You didn’t have to sneak around for so long, either of you.”
“You were growing up, it didn’t seem right”, Dad says. “I did it for you.”
“We both did”, Janice adds, “For you and for the boys.”
The words seem hollow and I feel like I want to leave. “Doesn’t mean it was right”, I say.
“I know”, Dad says. “We did what we felt was right, though. Whether it was a mistake or not, we meant to protect you.”
Protecting me by hurting Mom doesn’t seem like a good trade off to me.
“And now?” I ask.
“We’re in love”, Janice admits, squeezing Dad’s hand tighter. “We want you to support us with that, but we’ll understand if you feel like you can’t.”
A few moments pass while it all sinks in. I’ve been an only child for eighteen years, and in love with my next door neighbours for a good part of that, with whom I recently lost my virginity. We have been seeing each other secretly for the last few months while my Mom and Dad have been going through a not entirely amicable divorce. My dad has also been seeing someone secretly for the last few years who happens to be the mother of the two boys I’m in love with. They now want to get married which will turn my new lovers into my even newer stepbrothers.
Is there anyone gathered here today who has any reason to believe these two should not be united in holy matrimony? Speak now or forever hold your breath.
How come I can’t just have a normal, easy life? Why do Donkey have to move a thousand miles away before we get together, instead of still living next door? Why do my dad and his mom have to fall in love as well and decide that they want to get married. It’s a fucking nightmare and I have no idea what any of us should do. Maybe I should tell Dad right now so he can call it off. Whatever happens, there is no way Donkey and I are splitting up. We’ve just got together after all, and if we have to maintain this relationship in secret for the benefit of the family, so be it. It’s not like our parents haven’t done the same behind our backs.
“Hold off telling Mom for now”, Dad says when the plates have been cleared. “I don’t want to worry her any more than she needs.”
“You should come around to the house sometime”, I say, unsure whether it’s a good idea or not. “Just to say hi.”
Dad looks at Janice before he answers, perhaps still not familiar enough with her to know how she’ll respond. She nods and Dad looks back towards me.
“Your mother needs to move on”, Dad says coldly. “Like the rest of us. I know it’s hard, but thinking about it isn’t going to solve anything.”
The words are out before I have time to fully consider it. “Did you ever love her?” I ask, and then immediately feel like I shouldn’t have.
Dad is about to answer when the check comes. Afterwards, it’s as if the question has never been asked at all.
Chapter Twenty Four
A much shorter time after that meeting with Dad than either of them led me to believe, they set a date, formalize the whole thing and begin letting friends, family and mutual acquaintances know.
I expect Mom to react much more vitriolically than she does, and it pains me to see that she hasn’t even got enough energy to hate Dad anymore. When she tells me that not only did she know already b
efore Dad sent his official and ridiculously inappropriate announcement letter through, she knew just after they’d both told me, I feel guilty for keeping such an unnecessary secret from her, and upset that Dad obliged me to do so for what he considered to be her well-being.
Mom doesn’t seem to care either way, though. She reads the letter, puts it back in the envelope and sets it away in a kitchen drawer as though nothing more important than a notification to pay a gas bill or an invitation to a party from a distant and barely known relative.
Donkey, in contrast, are much more vocal about how they feel. I don’t see much of them before the end of the year, either because of their schedule or mine or because none of us can afford the ridiculously long journey to see each other, but we talk a lot on the phone, and as much as possible over video webchat, and despite the news about our parents getting remarried with each other, we have plans for the future we’re not going to let anything interrupt.
After the end of this semester, if possible, and if not, the end of the academic year, I’m going to transfer out and try and get a place at LSU. If that doesn’t work, I’ll get a place at the closest college, or I’ll move to Baton Rouge, give up my schooling and get a job instead. Half of the work I’ve done this year is stuff I’ve already covered, and the creative writing module is even more of a joke than everyone warned me it would be. Donkey are against me giving up schooling completely, but I don’t see the point if they are so far away we have to get by on Skype chats and text messages, while I re-read Wuthering Heights for the eight time and write a short story that demonstrates how to use dramatic irony. It’s easier for me to move than it is for them, and the only thing I worry about that’s holding me back is how Mom’s going to get on without me. Dad getting divorced and then remarried to the next door neighbor is a bitter enough pill to swallow already, before me turning around and telling her that I’ve been having my very own secret relationship too, and guess what? It’s with the next door neighbors as well. Both of them.
I know we are going to have to come clean and tell her at some point but I don’t want it to be the thing that finally tips her over the edge. I figure I’ll dress it up somehow, but make sure she’s recovered enough from the fallout from a broken marriage before I do so. If Donkey and I have to hide the fact we are fucking because we’re stepsiblings and suddenly that’s a total no-no, then so be it. What I’m not doing is letting the thousand or so miles that keeps us apart, keep us apart for much longer.
I get that their career is important, and I have no intention of taking that away from them, which is why I’m the one that’s thinking of moving much closer to them. No-one knows me in Louisiana either, so Donkey and I can fool about in public just as much as we like - and as much as anyone can handle the taboo of a pair of Godlike twins falling in love with the same person. Menage might be a little tricky for a community to handle, but it’s not outside of the realms of possibility that it exists in more places than just our own. Throw in the fact that we are stepsiblings too, though, and soon enough they’ll be chasing us with pitchforks, telling us we’re doing something so evil not even the devil would consider it.
It kills me having to conduct a relationship over such a long distance, especially when Donkey look so gorgeous I’m practically licking the screen to try and gobble them up, but at the moment we don’t have any other choice. I’m just eternally grateful for how things have worked out for us, despite the huge distance between us, and even happier that they don’t see the upcoming marriage between our parents as anything we should unduly worry about.
We’ve talked about how we should handle the relationship going forward, have already begun to refer to each other as boyfriends and girlfriend, and discussed how we might reveal our love to our family members, when the right moment comes along.
This isn’t some flash in the pan distance fuck as Marcy coldly puts it, my best interest at heart always when she does, this is so much more than that, and if Dad can put his cards on the table after so long keeping them covered up and marry whom he clearly considers his one and only true love, then maybe Donkey and I can do the same. One groom either side of me while Dad walks me down the aisle to them both. That would be one hell of a story to tell our grandkids.
I’m getting way ahead of myself, though, which is kind of typical to my style. I was way ahead of myself with Donkey, years before anything happened between us, so I guess that based on the same rule of thumb, it’s likely that nothing will happen between us in that respect for years to come. And I don’t even want to think about the complications with children. It was hard enough deciding who got to fuck me first and officially take my virginity, hard enough every time we’ve fucked since then to decide who takes which role and who gets to come where. Actually, I’m exaggerating a little because as complicated as that might seem to anyone I explain it to (Marcy), Donkey and I have such a natural balance in our love life, that none of that even occurs to me anymore.
The only thing that seems unbalanced in our relationship is the fact that I get to see them physically much less than I’d actually like. We’ve suggested Skype sex and text sex and sending each other pictures and even videos from time to time, and we’ve tried on occasion to recreate the environment through the screens on our cell phones or laptops, but it just isn’t the same. Usually I just ask them to show me what I’ve been dreaming about, whether it’s their swollen cocks or their strong arms or their flat chests or even their manly hands, and I do the same based on what it is they’ve missed from me, and even if we make each other come on occasion, it’s never the same as them being here or me being there.
I pine for the time when I can go out of the house and be with them in half a second again like I always could when I was growing up, or even just in the same city so when I wake up in the morning as horny as hell and need them both to see to me, or can’t get to sleep because my pussy hasn’t been licked in turn by both of them, they can be with me like that.
Tonight is one of those nights I’m super horny and far too emotional than is probably fair.
Christmas is right round the corner, which means new year is on the way, matched with stupidly cold weather, difficult travel conditions, at least three weeks without seeing them and then the prospect of a wedding at the end of winter and not at the start of spring or later, like Dad initially said.
I don’t feel festive, the house is far from it, and I miss my boys. I miss them so much I want to cry.
Donkey are in their room when I call, and it’s Jack that answers.
“Hey”, he says, “We were just thinking about you.”
Zach joins him on the bed, and Jack places the mobile phone on the bedside table after dragging it out in front of them so I can see them both. Just their smiles are enough to warm me up and I begin to feel better already.
“Clean or dirty?” I ask.
Jack and Zach look at each other and then back to me. I love it when they do that, and they do it so often it’s completely unconscious to them.
“Dirty”, Zach says, while Jack says, “clean.”
“No wait, clean”, Zach says, while Jack changes his mind as well and says, “dirty.”
“Both”, they end up saying together, “we miss you, in all ways.”
I smile. “I can’t wait to see you both”, I say.
“I know, right?” Jack says, “I can’t believe we’ve nearly finished a semester here.”
“I wish you were coming home”, I say.
“It’s not really much of a home anymore, Jen”, Zach says before adding. “I wish we were coming to yours.”
“You wouldn’t like it here”, I say. “It’s not very festive.”
“As long as you’ve got the mistletoe up”, Jack jokes.
“Like I need an excuse”, I say.
“We’re going to have to be super secret at the wedding”, Zach says.
“Or not”, I say, thinking out loud. “We could just act like normal and let everyone deal with it.”
/> “We could”, Zach says, “but we might upstage the happy couple.”
“I still can’t believe it”, I say. I didn’t phone them to talk about the wedding, but I guess it’s such a huge thing in our family right now it’s kind of hard to avoid it. “Not just the relationship going on for so long right under our noses, but the marriage thing as well. It’s kind of difficult to comprehend.”
“I guess that’s why we probably shouldn’t let everyone know about us the day they decide to tie the knot”, Jack says. “It might freak them out.”
“I guess”, I say. “It might freak them out enough to stop right then and there.”
“Mom seems pretty taken by your dad”, Zach says. “I don’t think finding out we’ve been fucking would even be enough to stop her. Might be fun to see though.”
“I doubt she’d even believe it”, I say. “I don’t think either my dad or my mom would. Mom would probably just look at me and say, ‘that’s nice, Jenny, as long as you are happy.’”
“How is your mom?” Jack asks.
“Yeah, same”, I say. “Detached, depressed, almost catatonic some nights. Your dad?”
The twins look at each other again before looking back to the camera. “You’re not going to believe this”, Zach says.
“Go on.”
“He’s dating again, the mother of one of the wide receivers on our team”, Jack says.
“Fucking hell”, I say.
Donkey nod in unison. “How would you like an even bigger family?” Jack asks.
“Is he sexy?” I joke.
“Two not enough for you?” Zach says, raising his eyebrows.
“No, yes”, I say, laughter stopping the words getting out. “Of course.”
“He’s fast”, Jack says, “but he’s nothing like us.”
Zach takes the cue and pulls off his T-shirt to show me his muscles. Jack does the same while his brother is halfway through a pose.
“Ok, I get it, I get it”, I say, giggling at the screen and trying to get a good look of them at the same time.
Donkey Doubled: A Twin Stepbrother Menage Romance Page 15