Motherducking Magic (Bad Magic Bounty Hunter Book 1)

by Michelle Fox

  "You don't understand. I tried to teach him magic, when he never learned the down command and acts like heel is a suggestion." I clutched my stomach. He'd been so sweet, sitting there, his head cocked as I tried to explain the ins and outs of spell craft. And then he'd eat all the herbs I bought for spells and drag me to the dog park to poop it all out, walking me as opposed to the other way around.

  "Are you done?"

  I nodded and then collapsed into giggles again. "S-s-sorry."

  He looked me up and down. "I hope you are not feebleminded."

  I straightened up."I'm fine. It's just funny. That's all. Besides, an idiot wouldn't have been able to save you back there, right?"

  He gave a grudging nod. "Perhaps not."

  "I know it. You know it, too." I cleared my throat. "So why is everyone and their brother after this relic? It's my soul, right? What good is it to anyone else?"

  "It has immense power and knowledge. People will kill for it."

  That sent a chill down my spine. So far this had just been a long, annoying game of chase, but Vitor was right. The stakes were high enough for murder to make sense. I thought of Penny Haughmund and the other witches on Thorne's list. My gut said there was a connection to all of this even if I didn't know the details yet. "Say someone else gets it, what do they do with it?"

  "They can swallow the First Witch's soul."

  "And that's it?"

  "I cannot say. It is a theory. No one has actually done it. But I would think the idea is they would seize the First Witch's power for themselves."

  "And leave me stunted," I made air quotes with my fingers, "for the rest of my life."

  "Yes. That would be the end result."

  "Okay. So where are we going?"

  "To meet Sheridon. He has the First Relic."

  "How do you know where he is?"

  He tapped a finger to his temple. "I can feel it. The First Witch planted a tracking charm in here."

  "Like, literally inside your brain?"

  He shrugged. "I am dead and I heal fast."

  "Okay, so the relic can't hide from you, but what are we going to do about Sheridon?" The First Shifter had been a bit of a trickster according to the legends, and this incarnation wasn't going to change that reputation. It actually made sense that he'd been a thief in this life, as stealing had been the First Shifter's biggest talent outside of being able to assume any animal shape he chose.

  Vitor hesitated. "He is loyal to the Firsts when he knows who he is."

  "But he knows and it doesn't matter."

  "Correct. But he has never let us down before." Vitor's jaw tightened. "It will work out."

  "Why didn't you just bring the necklace to me to begin with? We could have skipped all this drama."

  "I had to know if it was really you and if you were fit." He grimaced. "Some reincarnations have not been worthy."

  "Like how?"

  "Weak of mind and morals. Sometimes they were too tainted by those around them. One had started to use magic for ill gain by the time I found her. I never bring the First Relic with me when meeting a First Witch reincarnation for the first time. I do not want the First Witch's soul to fall into the wrong hands."

  "But isn't the majority of the soul in the necklace? So wouldn't that fix any deficits?"

  "We tried it once. The Black Plague was the result." He fell silent for a moment.

  "The Black Plague? Wow." I crossed my arms and shook my head. "I couldn't do that even if I tried."

  "That is a good thing. Sheridon and I had to kill her. So now I first awaken Sheridon and then we make sure that whoever has been chosen is a good choice. That worked well until now."

  It took a second to process what he'd said and what that meant for me. "So you think I'm fit to be the next First Witch? Or are you thinking about killing me too?" I bit my lip.

  He shook his head. "No. You are honest. You don't give up. You fight for what you believe in. So yes, you are fit as any of the others who came before you."

  Okay. That was good news. Murder wasn't on the menu.

  "It is Sheridon who is the problem this time."

  "But you know where he is and he has the relic and we're going in hot."

  "Going in hot?" Vitor arched an eyebrow at me. "Are you referring to fire? Because I am highly flammable."

  "No. I mean, we'll make sure he doesn't take my soul and run. He doesn't know we're coming so we'll have the advantage and we won't lose it, right?"

  Vitor's lips thinned in a grim line. "Correct."

  "Great. Now you drive. I'm going to rest." I yawned and snuggled deeper into my seat. We'd lost Jane, we knew where the artifact was, and maybe I wasn't the worst witch in the world after all.

  I still didn't quite believe it was all true. This was like getting everything you ever wanted in one fell swoop. I would have the power that should have been mine to begin with. I wouldn't be my mother's failed daughter anymore.

  Heck, I could skip the Witch's Ball.

  They'd be lining up to court me. Although the thought of that sent a little shiver of disgust down my spine. I'd never much enjoyed magic's high society. Their smiles meant nothing and their words dripped with fake. It wasn't my world...even if I ended up with more magic than any of them.

  Maybe I could conjure up a fake husband to keep my mother off my back. That might be the way to go. She would be happy and I could avoid all the movers and shakers of the Witchdom.

  I drifted off to a light sleep, mulling over what my fake husband should look like.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The car lurched to a stop, jerking me awake. Groggy, I blinked until my vision sharpened. We'd arrived outside the grove that held Thorne's hideout. The night sky had gone from black velvet to a soft dove gray. Dawn would be here soon.

  "Oh, hey." I peered at the trees, trying to catch a glimpse of the cabin. "Are you sure he's here?"

  "Yes. Come. Let's not waste any time." Vitor turned off the car and stepped outside, dropping the keys onto the driver's seat.

  I followed suit, stretching the kinks out of my shoulders and back. Around us a variety of birds sang, heralding the coming arrival of the sun. They sounded way too happy. If my life had a soundtrack, it was not a chorus of birds thrilled to see daylight. A bunch of hissing raccoons, frothing at the mouth with rabies would be a better fit. "How long was I out?"

  "A couple of hours." Vitor strode toward the cabin. "Be ready. We cannot let him escape."

  I pulled out my taser, the guards hadn't had a chance to take it, and turned it on. "I'm ready." I let him lead and rubbed my neck, which had stiffened during my nap. I didn't like that I'd slept so long. Life had been so weird lately, I should really keep my eyes open so I could see what was coming next.

  When the cabin came into view, Vitor held up a hand. "Wait here. It is better if we split up. If he gets past me, do whatever you have to."

  "You mean kill him?"

  "If he insists on denying his true purpose, yes." Vampire's sounded cold by default, but Vitor was Ice Age frigid.

  I gulped. This was serious and yet I still didn't quite believe it. Me have magic like a regular witch, let alone be the incarnation of the First Witch? That was practical joke crazy. I expected a camera crew from the Witch Network to jump out of the shadows any second now.

  Vitor grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a shake like I was ketchup running too slow out of the bottle. "Sylvie, I am serious. You must not fail."

  "I won't." I tightened my grip on the taser. "If he runs, he won't get away." I'd forget all the woo-woo stuff and just focus on what I did best; catching skip traces. Thorne was just another bond. That was it. If anything else came out of it, I'd deal with it then.

  Vitor searched my eyes with his gaze. I flinched, but I didn't look away. He seemed satisfied with what he saw because he nodded and then moved in a blur toward the cabin. Before I could blink, the door was open and he was already inside.

  The sound of a scuffle came from the cabin.
There was growling, yelling, the thud of punches hitting flesh hard enough to be loud, the crack of wood splintering and then silence. Scary scary silence.

  I crept closer to the cabin, taser held out in front of me, a cold sweat up and down my back, a hot flush on my cheeks.

  "Sylvie." The iceberg of Vitor's voice carried in the night almost sounding like he was right next to me. "Come in."

  Wary, I stepped inside the cabin, unsure of what awaited me. Sheridon was sprawled on the floor, surrounded by broken pieces of the pallet wood coffee table. Tali stood by the wood stove, a knitting project in yellow yarn clutched in her hands. She gave me a wide-eyed, panicked look.

  I nodded at her as Vitor shut the cabin door behind us. "It'll be okay, Tali." The most dangerous part of a takedown was when family felt like their loved one was threatened, and I so did not want to punch a pregnant woman.

  "Wh-what's happening?" Her eyes glimmered on the verge of tears. "Is Sheridon okay?"

  "He will live. The degree of okay is up to him." Vitor scooped Sheridon up and set him in the rocking chair. He patted down the unconscious shifter, checking all his pockets. "Ah, here it is." He straightened and lifted his hand, revealing the necklace. Light danced inside the gems, brighter than any of the camping lanterns the cabin used for illumination.

  "Is that..." I didn't even feel safe saying it. This couldn't be happening.

  "Your soul." He held it out for me.

  I swallowed. "It's beautiful."

  "Take it." Vitor gave me a nudge, urging me forward.

  I hesitated. "Really? Are you sure?"

  "Yes."

  Nervous, I took several slow steps toward Vitor who met me halfway and thrust the necklace into my hands. I flinched expecting it to hurt, but the stones were cool as rain against my palms. A little magic hummed over my skin, trembling through my arms and shoulders similar to the handcuffs the High Priestess had slapped on me earlier.

  "What do I do?" I looked to Vitor.

  He started to answer, but was interrupted by the door to the cabin swinging open. I froze for a second, unable to absorb the bad news. The Council Guard poured into the cabin like cloned clowns trying to fill a car. They just kept coming, overwhelming the cabin with men in white leathers.

  "They've found us." Vitor pulled me behind him and curled my fingers over the necklace. "Whatever happens, Sylvie, you must not lose this."

  I wanted to nod, wanted to shift into super fast mode, but there was so much happening all of a sudden.

  Sheridon was waking up, his eyes going wide as he became oriented. Vitor left me and waded into the sea of Council Guard, fists swinging. Tali slipped behind the stove and I stood there like a dumbass, holding the First Relic like an offering. My only saving grace was that no one was paying attention to me.

  Not yet.

  When Sheridon tried to stand only to get hit by a punch that dropped him back into the chair, I finally came online. Stuffing the necklace into an inner pocket of my jacket and yanking up the zipper, I joined the fight, going back-to-back with Vitor. Sheridon recovered and bounded into the fray with a roar that seemed to shake my bones and the boards making up the cabin.

  "What do we do?" I shouted at Vitor as I parried one fist and shoved my attacker away. Who said I couldn't multi-task? Then a guard snatched my taser out of my hand and threw it on the floor and I felt a little less smug. I tried to punch the guard, but he ducked.

  Vitor pushed me toward the bedroom. "Let's get in there." Somehow he managed to whisper that in my ear so no one else heard.

  "Okay. Let's do it." I lunged in the direction of the bedroom, slamming my elbows into anybody that got in my way. I hit one guard in the nose which exploded with blood.

  Another guard appeared. I slammed a fist into his solar plexus, but he didn't feel it. Damn leathers. I jabbed a punch into his throat, which wasn't covered by his suit. His eyes bugged as he discovered he could no longer breathe.

  I kneed the next guard in the groin, but while the push slowed him down, he didn't feel it, either. I really needed to channel my fighting skills better. I throat punched him too, ripped off his helmet and shoved him, head first, into the wall. He screamed and should have fallen down, but there were too many people in the cabin for him to actually hit the floor. Instead, he ended up being bounced around like he was in a mosh pit at a heavy metal concert.

  The Council Guard pressed against us at every angle. There were dozens of them. Way more than we could fight.

  "Give up," said one of them. "You're outnumbered."

  With a shrill battle cry, I throat punched him, too. He clutched his neck and staggered, fighting for air.

  Behind me, Vitor was more brutal. He was killing people. I could hear the snap of vertebrae as he broke their necks and the groaning that came with their last breaths.

  And still they came. There were so many guards, the cabin filled with heat. They forced us back until we had no choice but to go into the bedroom. Vitor pulled me in after him and shut the door behind us. Then, moving so fast he was a blur, he lifted the dresser and placed it in front of the door.

  "That's not going to hold them for long." I ran to the window above the bed and kicked out the glass. Taking a deep breath, I dove through the opening I'd made counting on my leathers to protect me. I hit the ground with a heavy thud and rolled with the momentum of my fall. Vitor jumped right after me, but landed on his feet like a cat with superpowers. Must be nice.

  Why the First Witch would make vampires so capable and not upgrade the witches made no sense to me. Then again, most witches had enough magic to avoid face planting in the dirt. I was the exception. For now, anyway. I patted the outside of my jacket, reassuring myself that the necklace was still there.

  Vitor grabbed me under the arms and swung me to my feet. "Come on."

  "Where?"

  "Just run. Anywhere. We have to get away."

  "But the sun is almost up." The sky was dark grey, next would be pink and orange, which for vampires, were basically flamethrower rays.

  "I'll take my chances." He started to move, dragging me with him.

  We got about ten feet into the surrounding woods before we ran into a line of Council Guard.

  "Stop. Put your hands up," bellowed a short, round guard, his face red with exertion.

  "How does she have this many Council Guard?" I looked for another opening. "Did she deputize every witch in Cleveland?" Between the cabin and this new group, there were easily fifty or more guards. Because my mom worked on the Witch Council I knew there were only twenty-four full-time guards. The High Priestess had beefed up security at some point.

  Vitor stepped in front of me as he prepared to fight. I crouched down and tried to decide which guard I would go after first. The big one with lots of muscles or the thin skinny one who looked terrified? The latter looked easy, and I was a bit worn out from all the fighting inside the cabin. I'd wasted too much energy trying to punch through the stupid suits.

  But then the skinny one pulled a gun, an actual gun with actual bullets, and I reconsidered my options. However, now that I looked closer, the other guards had guns too. I held back and looked to Vitor who kept moving as if he didn't care.

  Well, of course not. He could survive bullets.

  "Stop or we'll shoot her." This voice came from behind me. Confused, I twisted around to see more guards with more guns. Either they'd come out the bedroom window, too, or moved to flank us while we weren't looking.

  I put my hands up. There were too many potential bullets headed my way not to. My leathers would protect my body, but my head was vulnerable. I didn't feel particularly lucky, either. "Vitor," I called when he didn't stop.

  He paused and turned back to look my way. Vampires run pale to begin with, but Vitor went petrified bone white when he realized the full extent of our predicament. There would be no fighting our way out of this one. Not this time.

  He stopped and raised his hands too. "Do not hurt her."

  "Where's the reli
c?" The sharp voice of the High Priestess rang out. She strode through the woods, flanked by guards. Her all white robes billowed around her like ghosts.

  I shrugged and Vitor remained still.

  "Search them," the High Priestess barked.

  Rough hands grabbed at me, patting me down. I held my breath, praying they wouldn't feel the necklace.

  "Take off her jacket." The high priestess stalked over to me.

  A guard unzipped my jacket and tugged it down my shoulders. I'd been sweating enough for the leather to stick to my arms, forcing him to really pull to get it off. Once they got the jacket off, several pairs of hands felt up and down my vest, lingering on my breasts as if they thought something was in there.

  "They're boobs. They don't have pockets." I twisted my torso to displace hands.

  The High Priestess stepped forward and grabbed me by the front of my vest. Despite her thin frame, she was strong enough to lift me up to my toes. Her gaze bore in to mine. "Tell me where the relic is?"

  "I don't know."

  She shook me. "I'll remove your mother's magic for the rest of her life. Is that what you want?"

  I glared at her. "My mother has nothing to do with this. You should know that by now. She's your best friend."

  "And you? Are you my friend?"

  "I don't particularly like you." I saw no reason to lie about it. "But I see why you and my mom get along."

  She slapped me with her other hand. The sting of it took my breath away and pain throbbed in my cheek.

  "You're an ungrateful bitch, you know that. Your mom fought for you. I fought for you. I made the Triad give you a job when you didn't even deserve one."

  "And now you're beating me. Before that, you stung me with that scorpion thing and locked me up. And before that, you had Thorne steal the relic for you. Did you kill Penny Haughmond too? That sounds like something you'd do." I pulled my head back in case she hit me again, but instead she threw me to the ground with a scream of frustration.

  "You don't know anything about what I do, you witless witch. I am your superior, your leader, your priestess. You owe me your fealty." Her face flushed and eyes glittering, she hissed at me, "Where is the relic?"