by J P Barnaby
“How did you end up as Ethan’s sub?” I asked, whispering the last word. She blinked. Apparently, that wasn’t the question she was expecting.
“Oh….” she said her smile widening. “It’s probably not the sordid tale you’re imagining. I’m not a kidnapped harem girl, or anything. He didn’t win me in a game of poker.” She giggled. “My sophomore year of college, I roomed with a senior named Genevieve. We were friends, but I was different then. I was painfully shy, with glasses and long braids, and really had no self confidence, and I spent most of my time reading. I had few friends and never really went out.” She shrugged, and looked down at the table. I squeezed her hand this time, encouraging her to continue.
“A few times near the end of the year, she came home upset. I tried to get her to tell me what was wrong, but she wouldn’t. Finally, one night she came home and I was reading an erotic novel, as I had done a few times before. Her eyes widened, and she asked me about it. At first, I tried to play it off but I could see that she wasn’t going to judge me. So, I told her about my fascination with BDSM and D/s. She smiled at me and then told me about Ethan. She was his collared sub, but she’d gotten accepted to an MBA program in California and would have to terminate their relationship, she was upset about leaving him. We talked all night about her role and about Ethan. By morning, she said that she’d talk to him about training me. I’d never even been with a guy before. I couldn’t imagine why he would want me, I was so inexperienced.” She laughed softly at the memory, and I was entranced by the sound of it. Just then, the waitress brought the pizza we’d ordered. I took another drink of my beer and Lexi did the same.
“Ethan agreed to meet with me, and we talked for about an hour. We talked about my fantasies, and about the needs and expectations of a D/s relationship. Then, we went up to the room. He had me remove my clothes; it was the most erotic experience. He was exceptionally gentle as he touched me over several different parts of my body. Now I know he was testing my responsiveness. He gave me my very first orgasm, just with his hands. From that point, I was his. I’d do whatever I could to please him.” She finished, shifting a little in her seat.
“You said that you were a virgin. Was he….?” I asked timidly.
“He was gentle and caring. It wasn’t what you might be thinking,” she explained quietly, looking away. “We weren’t in a bed, but I wasn’t bound. He was patient with me, and we worked up to it over a series of sessions. I can’t imagine that any other Dom would have been so tolerant with me.” I nodded and inwardly marveled at Ethan’s ability to read people. He knew that I would need an immediate immersion while Lexi required more patience. We finished our pizza and ordered another round of beers.
As we drank a few more beers each, we talked, she wanted to know about my family, and she told me some about hers. We talked about our vanilla relationships and anything else we could think of. When the conversation turned to the future, her face clouded slightly and she quickly changed the subject, so I didn’t press, figuring she’d tell me if she wanted to. We walked back to the bike, and Lexi was all smiles again, which I was fairly sure that had to do with her alcohol content. I swung my leg over the bike and she stood next to me.
“I had fun tonight, Jayden. I still don’t go out all that often – thanks,” she said, smiling and leaning forward. At first, I thought she was going to kiss my cheek, but she put her small hand on the side of my face and pulled it to hers. I reveled in the feeling of her lips on mine, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. Her fingers entwined themselves in my hair, as our mouths danced together in a perfect rhythm. It was only when she moaned softly against my mouth that I remembered where we were, and more to the point, what we were.
“Lexi, honey, let’s get you home.” Sighing, she rested her head on my shoulder.
“I don’t want to go home. Can we go back and watch movies at your house?” she asked in a small voice. Something was definitely bothering her and I wished with all my heart that she would trust me, and confide in me. I mean, we were in this together now, weren’t we? She’s been there for me when I needed someone.
We got back to the house and she picked out a DVD while I went up to change. When I came back down, she was putting something into the player. I tossed one of my t-shirts and a pair of gym shorts to her. Grinning, she started to strip, and I turned quickly to spread the blanket on the couch for us to sit under.
“Jayden….” she said, giggling. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me in much less.” I nodded, and she came around to sit on the couch in her borrowed clothes. As the movie started, she snuggled into my side, and I put my arm around her. I couldn’t believe how comfortable I felt with her when I felt so out of place with other people now. Going through my contacts earlier, I couldn’t find one person, one friend, that I felt comfortable being with right now – even Kimberly. My sister had left a few messages for me over the last two weeks, and I had finally decided that I would call her the next day. I was just afraid that she’d be able to hear it in my voice; I never could hide anything from her.
I looked down and noticed that during my inner monologue, Lexi had fallen asleep on my shoulder, her presence felt nice.
“No…” she mumbled. “Don’t want to….” I held her closer; she was having a bad dream. “Please… I can’t….” I frowned. What could she be dreaming about? Was in the same thing she was upset over earlier? “Ethan…I don’t want….” She shifted, and I began stroking her face.
“Shhhhhh…Lexi, honey…It’s okay,” I reassured her. She quieted and said, “Mmmmm…Jayden…” I chuckled, and she snuggled a little closer, appearing to fall into a deeper sleep.
I woke up around two in the morning and turned off the television. I got Lexi settled comfortably on the couch and turned to go up to bed. Before I did, however, I leaned down and kissed her softly on the forehead.
She sighed contentedly.
The next morning, I awoke with a smile and rolled to look at the clock. It was already 10:30am. I sat straight up in bed – God, I never sleep this late. Ethan should already be back, and I wondered if Lexi was still on the couch. Would he be okay with that? An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach and I rolled out of the bed.
I was on the stairs when I heard raised voices. Damn, I need to tell Ethan it was me that left her on the couch; I didn’t want him upset with her. Then I heard something that made me stop in my tracks and listen.
“You know why I can’t stay, Ethan,” Lexi said, her voice weary. “When we made the arrangement, you knew it was short term. I made it very clear that I wanted to go to grad school at NYU.”
“I know, but I thought given the change in your feelings, that it might make you stay,” he said, sighing. “Granted, I don’t have a whole lot of experience with relationships, but I thought if you cared about someone….” he trailed off. She was in love with him, that much was evident. Why did I suddenly feel left out of the equation?
“You know it wouldn’t work out, Ethan. We can’t have that kind of a relationship,” she explained, almost too softly for me to hear.
“Give me some time, Lexi,” he requested with an eerily calm voice. If it were me, I’d be pleading with her to stay. If it weren’t such a good opportunity for her career, I might have anyway.
“I have two months before I leave for NYU,” she said with a steely note of pride.
“You know that’s not enough time,” he said dryly, and I couldn’t help but wonder what his problem was.
“Well, then maybe…maybe after….” she said, her voice breaking on the last word. The muffled sobs indicated he was comforting her. Swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat at the sound of her heartbreak, I went back upstairs with only about an hour before we were due in the room. I wondered briefly if Lexi would be there.
Before I knew it, I was naked and on my knees waiting for Master Ethan. I had spent the last ten minutes clearing my mind of the conversation I have inadvertently heard. There was no place for it now because
my only focus was on pleasing Master Ethan. A few minutes later, he came in alone a few minutes later and slammed the door behind him. He was angry, that much was evident, but I didn’t know who his anger was directed at, and I certainly wasn’t going to make it any worse. Or so I thought…
“Jayden, am I really that bad of a Master?” he asked scornfully. I didn’t know what I should say. “Answer me!” He roared, and I nearly cringed back from the hostility in his voice, but I caught myself.
“N…No Master Ethan,” I stammered, looking almost fearfully into his face.
“This is what you consider your position to be then?” He sneered at me. “Your posture is a disgrace.” Abruptly, he turned and walked to a nearby closet, where he pulled out some kind of restraint I’d never seen before, he returned to where I was kneeling. The restraint looked like nothing more than a ramrod straight metal bar with a collar at the top and two cuffs at bottom of the bar.
“Stand up and turn around,” he snarled at me, and I complied immediately. He buckled the collar around my neck securely, and then my back was forced perfectly straight as my wrists were buckled into the cuffs.
“Better,” he said walking around me. “On your knees... Legs spread….” I got to my knees carefully and spread my legs as far as I could comfortably. It was difficult since the collar didn’t allow me to put my head down – I couldn’t see to guide myself. He came around in front of me again and said, “Let’s see if any of your other services are lacking today. Open!” I opened my mouth and he drove in his hardened sex. Abruptly, he stopped, and I waited, but he remained stationary.
“Well?” he taunted, and I began to suck him awkwardly moving my head back and forth, restricted by the collar device. I pulled back and moved my mouth lower, taking his balls into my mouth, using my tongue, and then very lightly sucked them. He moaned, and put his fingers in my hair. “Very good… Thatta boy….” He nearly groaned. Pulling back again, I took him into my mouth, noticing he had a stronger sense of urgency now.
“I love fucking your hot little mouth,” he said in a low whisper. I continued to do my best, bobbing my head back and forth, trying to pull him deeper each time. The door opened then, and we heard a gasp. Briefly, I wondered if Lexi had never seen this restraint before either. I kept to my task, not bothering to open my eyes and Master Ethan said, “Wait downstairs in the drawing room.”
“What the fuck is going on here?” A stunned voice shrieked, and I felt my stomach fall through the floor.
It wasn’t Lexi. It was Kimberly. My sister was standing in the doorway, watching me naked, bound, and hard as steel pleasuring another man. Her long blond hair had been pulled up away from her face, so her piercing grey eyes were now almost prominent in her normally porcelain face. Now, her face was red, either with embarrassment or rage, I wasn’t quite sure.
Standing with perfectly manicured nails on the hips of her designer jeans, she was obviously waiting for an answer to her question. She tapped the toe of her high heeled shoe silently against the carpeting in the hall. It looked like she was almost afraid to actually come into the room with us.
My mind just couldn’t process what was happening. Why was Kimberly here? Why didn’t she just go downstairs? When Master Ethan asked me if I wanted to use my safe word in a jeering tone, I just sucked harder. The higher functioning, humiliated side of me wanted to pull back and scream it. This wasn’t something Kimberly needed to see. But the baser side, the one that was still aroused beyond all measure just wanted to bring about his orgasm, and hopefully one for myself in return. The conflict raging in me made me a little dizzy, and I focused on the task at hand.
He groaned softly, and said to her in a low voice. “Unless you want to watch me come in his sweet little mouth, you’ll go downstairs.” A low guttural moan escaped him then, and he added, “Now.” My mind screamed at me, wondering why he wasn’t stopping this. He should let me get rid of her so we can finish at the very least. But there was a small part of me, the twisted depraved part that was glad he didn’t stop. That part made me hollow out my cheeks, desperate for his come.
I heard the door slam and Master Ethan put his hands on either side of my head. He stilled my feeble movements and started stronger ones of his own. Grunting with each thrust, even I could tell he was excited by our being caught, fucking my mouth until he came with a deep groan. I swallowed around him, still trying desperately to please him. He pulled away, panting, and tucked himself back into his pants. Without a word, he released me from the restraint and put it back in the closet. Finally, he came back to stand in front of me.
“Go deal with her,” he growled in an annoyed tone. “Make sure she knows never to come into this room again. We will finish this later.” Then he left the room, and I felt the traitor tears stinging my eyes. I got dressed quickly, trying to will my protruding erection down. When I felt calm again, I went downstairs and found her standing near the front window looking out. I didn’t see Ethan; he must have gone up to his room. I could only imagine the punishment I would get for this, sucking a sharp breath as my body started to respond to that thought I pushed it out of my mind, and I walked toward my sister.
“What are you doing here, Kimberly?” I asked, and even to me, my voice sounded ashamed. I knew she had probably walked into that room by accident as I told her only that the second floor was my space. It never occurred to me to tell her about that particular room. I hadn’t wanted to arouse her suspicions. Kimberly could be very perceptive when she wanted to be.
“You got mail at my house,” she said, waving her hand like that part was inconsequential. “What the fuck was that, Jayden?” she asked, and I knew she was upset. She never called me “Jayden”. It was always “J” or “Jade”, just like I always called her “Kim” or “Kimmy”. From the tone of her voice, and her devastated expression, something had broken between us. My chest tightened at the thought. But really, how the hell could I explain that to her when I could barely explain it to myself. She would be ashamed of me, and I just couldn’t deal with that.
“That,” I said, emphasizing the word, “was none of your concern.” My voice was drawn and hard.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked in a small voice. “I thought we could tell each other anything?” I gaped at her. How could she expect that I would just lay out my sex life for her? Right now I was having problems assimilating this new aspect into the rest of my life; I couldn’t explain it to her.
“Do you tell me about your sex life?” I asked, incredulous. Not that she had to tell me, I heard more than a few examples of it when I was staying on her couch, and I never could look at Josh the same way again.
“Not that, Jayden. Why didn’t you tell me that you’re gay? Didn’t you trust me?” she asked softly, and I sighed. I could see where she would be hurt by that. Even in high school when other brothers and sisters hated each other, Kimberly and I told each other everything. Hell, she helped me with girls, I helped her with guys. She had always been my best friend. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to tell her about this.
“I’m not gay,” I said dryly. At least, I didn’t consider myself as such. It’s not like I would be trolling gay bars and picking up guys, even if my relationship with Ethan were to end. It wasn’t about it being Ethan; it was about it being Master Ethan.
“Well then, I’m really fucking confused because I thought I just walked in on you – on your knees for your roommate.” She yelled and her voice cracked.
“I am not going to talk about this with you,” I said softly, avoiding her eyes. How could she think that I would go into something like this with her? It was personal, a private thing between Ethan and me. Only Lexi knew, and that was because she was a part of it.
“Are you…Are you in trouble, Jay? Is that why? I can pay your rent if you need…” She broke off suddenly at the look on my face.
“Get out,” I said in a low voice, my anger escalated exponentially. She thought I was being his little bitch for money, fucking him fo
r the rent? Suddenly, my stomach turned in realization of her low opinion of me, apparently losing all of her respect now. I hated myself for it. I hated her for it.
“Jay, I…” she started, but then faltered again. She looked heartbroken.
“You just fucking called me a WHORE, Kimberly! I don’t owe him money. I’m not being forced to do anything. I do it because I fucking like it. Having him tie me up and fuck me turns me on – is that what you wanted to know? Now GET OUT!” I roared at her in my utter mortification, and she ran, dropping two envelopes on a nearby table just before she went through the door. I slammed it behind her and went upstairs to my room, lying down on my bed; I let the tears finally fall. My sister thinks I’m a prostitute. Ethan is angry with me because of Kimberly. Lexi is leaving. What the hell is happening to my life?
After a while, I heard the door open, but I didn’t move. I didn’t want to see his face, and I wondered briefly if he had heard my sister. God, I feel so fucking dirty. That thought made the sobs come harder and I felt a hand on my head, trying to soothe me. Then, I felt the bed shift with someone’s weight and they were lying next to me. When I rolled over in surprise, I found Lexi with her arms open. I fell into them and she held me for a long time.
Finally after an immeasurable period of simply stroking my hair, she said, “I brought the envelopes she left for you. They look like acceptance letters.” I nodded, not caring right then. At least that explained why Kimberly was there. “You can talk to me, Jayden. We’re friends. That’s what friends do,” she whispered. I squeezed her, letting her know that I appreciated her words, and I thought for a minute, deciding that I needed to talk to somebody, and Lexi may understand what I’m thinking much more than anyone else.
“I feel like my life has suddenly left my control,” I explained softly, burying my face in her shoulder. “I had a plan just a couple of months ago of where my life was going, and how I was going to get there. Then, I answered that ad, and I looked in that room. Now my sister, probably my best friend in the world thinks that I’m a prostitute. Ethan, the one who started this whole mess, is angry with me. And the one person that might possibly understand me… is leaving me. Then there is this whole other side. It the side that is glad Kimberly found out because now I don’t have to hide anymore. It’s the side that is jealous of your relationship with Ethan. Maybe I should take one of those acceptance letters and just go, no matter how good this school is for my career. That path just seems like it belongs to a different person now.” She pulled back to look into my face.