The Reluctant Cowgirl

by Christine Lynxwiler

  “Sure.”

  Out on the porch, he guided her to the opposite side of Beka and his parents to where Jack Westwood stood waiting.

  “So what’s going on?” Jeremy said.

  It occurred to Crystal that he’d waited for her to be there before he found out the details about Beka’s return. The thought warmed her.

  Jack glanced at his notebook then back at them. “As Beka said, her name is Amanda. Her roommate is Michelle. They’re University of Memphis students. We believe they had no idea Beka was a missing child.”

  Jeremy frowned. “So you really don’t think they had any part in the kidnapping?”

  Jack shook his head. “They answered all the questions the same, over and over. No stumbling over facts, no getting mixed up. Even though we questioned them separately, their stories agreed completely. And I didn’t get the feeling that their answers were rehearsed.”

  Jeremy glanced at Crystal as if asking her opinion. “I just can’t imagine they didn’t suspect something.”

  “Amanda said that lately she’d started to wonder if Lindsey was doing drugs.” Jack put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Amanda answered an ad for a babysitter last June. Two weeks after Beka was taken. Apparently your little girl was left in Amanda’s care, at the house she and Michelle share, most of the time since then, with Lindsey just popping in and out occasionally.”

  Crystal looked across at Beka on the other end of the porch. She had moved to her grandma’s lap and was happily drinking her lemonade. “Which is probably a good thing.”

  She felt Jeremy relax beside her. “Beka does seem happy and not...” He seemed to fumble for the words. “Not hurt.” He ran his hand across his face. “I’m so thankful.”

  “The sheriff’s out of town, but the other deputies and I don’t see any reason to take Amanda in for further questioning. Do you?”

  Jeremy hesitated then shook his head. “No. I guess as far as I’m concerned, she’s free to go.”

  Crystal put her hand on his arm. “Have you thought about how Beka’s going to react to Amanda leaving? After living with her for all those months?”

  Pain flitted across his face, and she almost wished she hadn’t brought it up.

  “I’m going to have to figure out a way to make that easier, I guess.”

  Crystal nodded toward the house. “Oddly enough, Luke’s sharing food with her in the kitchen. Something he normally wouldn’t do with anyone, much less a single girl. Why don’t we go in there and try to get to know her a little bit?”

  “I don’t know...” Jeremy glanced at his daughter.

  “Your parents will stay right here with Beka. And when you take her home, they’ll have to go to their own house. So it’s nice for them to have some time with her.”

  “You’re right.” He followed her into the house.

  No one was in the living room, but laughter from the kitchen drew them forward.

  Rachel, Elyse, Luke, Amanda, and Michelle were sitting at the big table eating when they walked in. In an instant, the room grew quiet.

  Amanda’s smile faded. “I’m so sorry,” she said to Jeremy. “I wish I’d known.”

  “I wish you had, too.” His words were curt, but Crystal knew it was just because he needed someone to blame. Someone alive and here.

  Luke stiffened.

  Amanda dropped her gaze to her food and kept it there.

  Across the table, Michelle let her fork hit her plate with a clatter and gave Jeremy a hard look. “You know, Amanda arranged her class schedule this year to match Beka’s school hours. Not to mention the dates she turned down. And half the time Lindsey would ‘forget’ to pay her.”

  Amanda jerked her head up. “Michelle, I enjoyed having Beka around. It was no trouble.”

  Michelle’s face softened. “I know you did. But I don’t get why you’re letting him treat you like a criminal. You did what you thought was right. And you’d die to protect that little girl and we both know it.”

  Elyse, ever the peacemaker, hopped up. “Let me fix y’all a plate.”

  Crystal put one hand on Jeremy’s arm and motioned Elyse away with the other one. “You’re exhausted from answering the phone. Sit down and eat. We can fix our own plates.”

  Jeremy’s gaze took in Elyse and Rachel. “Speaking of answering the phones, thank you both for doing that.”

  He looked at Michelle then at Amanda. “And thank you for keeping Beka safe.” He and Crystal filled their plates without speaking then walked over to the table, where conversation still hadn’t resumed.

  Jeremy slipped in next to Amanda. “I’m sorry I made it seem like this was your fault.”

  She gave him a shy smile. “Thanks.” She turned back to her plate then stopped and looked up at him again. “Is there any chance I could see Beka from time to time?”

  He frowned and his eyes met Crystal’s. She knew he wanted to say no. But how could he really?

  “It’ll be hard on Beka not seeing you, Amanda,” Crystal said softly, in a not-so-subtle hint to Jeremy.

  Jeremy’s jaw stiffened but he nodded. “I think we should be able to set something up.”

  “Really?” Amanda’s eyes lit up. “I’d love that.” She gulped her lemonade, and Crystal sensed she was trying to hold back tears. “I’m going to miss her.”

  Jeremy fidgeted, visibly anxious to get back to Beka. “I’m going to go back out and see how Mom and Dad are doing.” He pushed his chair back and excused himself.

  “I’m finished, too.” Amanda glanced at Michelle. “We’d better get on the road. You’ve got that big test Monday.”

  On the porch, Amanda crouched down in front of Beka. “’Bye, sugar. I’ll miss you.” She blinked several times and smiled. “I’m going to come back and visit pretty soon, okay?”

  At first Beka’s expression reflected uncertainty, but then her face crumpled, tears flowing. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  CHAPTER 21

  Jeremy looked stricken. He squatted down next to Beka. “Hey, Little Bit, Amanda has to go home for now, but we’ll drive over and see her next week”—he shot Amanda a questioning look and she nodded—“and pick up your stuff...”

  Beka’s tears dried some but still trickled down her face.

  Amanda smiled and poked Beka gently in the tummy. “I’ll get your things ready. So when you come, you can bring them back with you.”

  Beka sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “But I want to go with you.” It was more of a token protest than anything. The tears had stopped.

  Crystal watched as Amanda forced a happy expression to her face. Her heart must be breaking. Sometimes love involved sacrifice with a smile. “If you go with me, you won’t have your daddy. Remember how sad you were when you weren’t here with him?”

  Beka wrapped her arm around Jeremy’s neck and nodded.

  Amanda smiled. “I’ll see you soon, okay.”

  “Okay,” Beka said in a small, thin voice that touched Crystal’s heart.

  After Amanda and Michelle left, Elyse and Luke walked with Rachel and Jack out to their cars.

  Crystal cut her gaze over to Jeremy, who was leaning against the wall beside her, watching his daughter, now sitting on the swing with his parents. “You need to take the food home with you.”

  He shook his head. “There’s just the two of us. You keep it.”

  “There’s just one of me.” How pitiful sounding. But true.

  He stared at her as if he wanted to say something. But instead he turned to his mom. “How about you and Dad take most of the food to your house?”

  Mrs. Buchanan smiled. “Under one condition. That all three of you come eat lunch with us tomorrow after church.”

  “You know Beka and I will be there,” Jeremy said.

  Everyone looked at Crystal. Hey, who was she to bring a happy moment down? She smiled. “I’d love to. Thanks.”

  “Want to help me load up the food?” Jeremy asked her.

  “Sure.�
� She followed him into the quiet house. “I think there’s a cardboard box that one lady brought her food in. Maybe we can pack it in that.”

  As they walked into the kitchen, he stopped and she almost plowed into him.

  He turned around to face her and the kitchen suddenly seemed much smaller.

  Her eyebrows drew together. “What’s wrong?”

  “I just wanted to thank you again for helping me find Beka.” The expression in his eyes was unreadable. “You’re an incredible person, Crys.”

  The familiar nickname sounded different on his lips, affectionate and intimate. She shivered. How had she become so attached to this man so quickly? And more importantly, how could she slow down the tide of emotion he always seemed to bring? She’d have probably been better off if she’d just gone along with his offer to take care of things and hurried back to New York when she had a chance. She stared up at him. “Thanks.”

  He gently pushed her hair back from her face. “I’m glad you decided not to let me take care of the ranch alone.”

  Her heart pounded in her throat. He had an uncanny way of knowing exactly what she was thinking. As a matter of fact, when she looked into his eyes, she had the feeling he could see all the way into her soul.

  He cupped her cheek with his palm. “I’ve never known anyone like you.”

  She gave him a tremulous smile. “Is that a good thing?”

  “You tell me,” he murmured as he pulled her close and lowered his lips to hers.

  The thought that she was leaving and that this was a complication she didn’t need surfaced, but only for a split second, then she relaxed in his embrace. His kiss was the sweetest she’d ever known, and for a minute, everything else faded away.

  He raised his head and brought his hand back up to her face. “So? Is it a good thing?”

  She nodded, still frozen in place.

  He dropped a kiss on her forehead and walked on into the kitchen. “So where’s the box?”

  She stood where he’d left her. Excuse me. Had the best kiss of the century not just happened on this very spot? Surely that deserved a few seconds of savoring. Her mind raced. Or had it just been a thank-you kiss?

  The kitchen door burst open and Beka came running in. “Can I help, Daddy?”

  “Sure you can, Little Bit.” He set her up on the counter. “As soon as Miss Crystal gets us a box, we’ll pack it all up.”

  Crystal unfroze and hurried over to retrieve the box from the utility closet. She handed it to him, hoping he wouldn’t notice that her hands were shaking. Or that she wasn’t a lot of help.

  “Strawberry cake. Lemon cake. Yum...” He winked at Beka. “We’ll slip these home and not tell Grandma.”

  Beka giggled.

  “Green bean casserole, broccoli and cheese ... those can go to Grandma’s.”

  Crystal handed him a bowl of banana pudding and he took it without looking at her. She studied him and he still didn’t meet her gaze. She had a strong hunch that she wasn’t the only one who was nervous. And what was there to be nervous about a thank-you kiss? She grinned. She didn’t think she’d misjudged after all.

  “All packed.” He set Beka on the floor and handed her a loaf of bread. “Now don’t get this smushed, okay?”

  Beka giggled again and scampered out. Jeremy scooped up the box and tried to wrangle two grocery bags.

  “Hello? Remember me?” Crystal couldn’t resist.

  He finally looked at her, and she could see the reflection of her own confusion in his eyes. She definitely wasn’t the only one who’d been taken off guard by their kiss.

  She reached for the grocery bags. “I can help.”

  He nodded. “Thanks.”

  “Anytime.”

  He walked out and she followed him.

  Out on the porch, she blushed, suddenly sure that his parents knew what had happened in the kitchen. Don’t be ridiculous, she scolded herself. She didn’t even know what had happened in the kitchen.

  They packed the food into his dad’s truck, and Jeremy lifted Beka up on his shoulders. “Let’s head home, kiddo.” He turned toward his parents. “Want to come by for a while?”

  His dad laughed and took his mom’s hand. “Took you long enough to ask, boy.”

  His mom giggled like a giddy teenager. “We’ll meet you there.” She reached up and dropped a kiss on Jeremy’s cheek. “I’m so happy.” She reached higher and squeezed Beka’s pudgy hand. “See you in a few minutes, sweetie.” She waved at Crystal. “See you tomorrow.”

  They climbed into their truck and left.

  Jeremy turned to Crystal, still holding Beka on his shoulders. His smile was genuine but a little unsure. “Thanks again.”

  She hung on to the porch post and watched them leave, pushing hard against the loneliness creeping into her heart.

  This had been the perfect day. All was as it should be. Jeremy seemed happy to act like that amazing kiss in the kitchen had never happened. Which meant that even though her Broadway path had taken a short detour, it was back on track. Her heart needed to stop longing for what it couldn’t have.

  ***

  “The end.” Jeremy closed the book and leaned forward to kiss Beka’s cheek. “I’m so glad to have you home.”

  She clung to him. “Don’t go. Stay with me till I go to sleep, Daddy.”

  He kissed her hair. Like there was any way he was going anywhere. “Okay, Little Bit. Say your prayers. I’ll be right here.” He released her and sank into the rocker beside her bed.

  Beka snuggled into the covers and closed her eyes. He’d thought she might protest that she didn’t know how to pray, after all those months away, but her sweet voice rang out strong. Probably had Amanda to thank for that. “Dear God, thank You for everything You give us. Thank You for Daddy and Amanda and Michelle. And Mommy. Please watch over me while I sleep and keep me safe. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  His heart twisted that he had to figure out how to tell her that her mommy was dead. Even as he thought it, he realized that Lindsey was almost an afterthought in Beka’s prayer. Her mother had been a stranger when she’d abducted her, and then she’d promptly dumped her with a babysitter. But it would still be hard to tell her. He knew that on the level that all children love their parents, Beka loved Lindsey.

  As he watched Beka toss around and try to get comfortable in a strange bed, he faced the terrible truth. Lindsey hadn’t really wanted Beka. She just hadn’t wanted him to have her. As Beka stilled and her breathing evened out, he said his own prayer. He’d come so far toward forgiving Lindsey after the funeral. For his own good, and for Beka’s, he couldn’t afford to let the bitterness seep back in, no matter how tempting.

  And, really, tonight, how could he be mad at anyone about anything? He rested his head against the rocker. Tomorrow they’d go to Sunday school and worship. And after that Crystal was coming to lunch with them at his parents.