Accidental Man Whore

by Katherine Stevens

  Goddamn, that’s a lot of questions. “I left my phone in the van while I was taking care of my dad. I’m on my way to your office now.”

  “You left my phone somewhere it could have been stolen?” Her voice doesn’t sound like a woman’s. It barely sounds human. She’s pissed. Super pissed.

  “It was in my van in my dad’s driveway. I could see it the whole time.” That’s a lie, but whatever. This phone thing is stupid.

  “We’ll discuss this again, I assure you. If you are done playing nursemaid, I have a special client request for you.”

  I hate how she thinks any time I’m not doing her bidding is a waste of my time. I only started working for her so I could help my dad. Jacob is contributing what he can, but he’s only made an extra thousand dollars so far. I’m almost halfway to paying off the full bill Barry negotiated for us. I can’t wait until I can quit working for Stephanie. The money is great, but I want my life back.

  “What time and where?” I can hear how tired I sound.

  “8:00 p.m. You’ll meet at a club for a party. These are two very important clients. I want them happy when you leave. Are we clear?”

  “As clear as ever.” I don’t think I’ve ever been clear on what I’m supposed to do. I think I’m keeping her clients happy. Some of them have requested me personally, so I think they’re happy. I fucked Juliana & she seems very happy. I’ve done some… things with other clients that they said they liked. I wonder how dead I’ll be if Stephanie finds out about all of that. I hope it’s not until after I can quit and move to Cuba to hide from her.

  ***

  Javier rings my doorbell at exactly 8:00 p.m. I wonder if he was in the military or something. I open the box and find a normal outfit. It’s a button-down shirt and jeans. The black shoes are so shiny. I wonder who buys all this stuff. I can’t picture Stephanie in a store picking it all out.

  Javier drops me off at a club downtown. As usual, the line is long, but I walk right in. A woman in sequined shorts takes me to a group of tables on the side of the dance floor. No VIP room this time.

  I see a lot of Stephanie’s regular clients in the small crowd near the tables. I don’t see any of the usual Elite Entertainment employees, though. Now that I’m looking around, I don’t see any men at all in this group but me. It’s all women and they look like clients. This is different. Five women are on me instantly. It’s like a real-life porn. They’re all wearing clothes, but it’s never been this easy to get tail. This job might be tiring, but it’s good for my ego.

  I try to talk to them, but they’re all talking at once and it’s shrill as hell. I don’t remember any porn where the men are annoyed with the pre-gang bang. They all have a hand on me like those contests where the last person touching a car wins it. One woman is straight up touching my dick through my jeans like that’s how her people say hello. I kind of like her people, though.

  A few more women come in from the side and I’m getting claustrophobic now. I don’t think this club has a lot of rules, but I bet you can’t have an orgy next to the dance floor. I don’t know how to tell these women that they should cool it down a bit before I jizz in my pants because my dick likes being touched no matter what. I grab the closest hand, pulling that lady to the dance floor. The rest follow like a train. This is the weirdest damn party.

  Five more ladies join the original eight. There are other men in the club, but none of them are near us on the dance floor and none of them are swimming in pussy like I am. People are staring. I think I’ve been here fifteen minutes and I’ve had half a hand job and a stranger’s ass rubbing against my dick. Not terrible for a day’s work. I wish I knew what I did to deserve this.

  A tongue that’s not mine is in my mouth and I don’t know who it belongs to. I don’t care, to be honest. I’m a little freaked out still by how forward these chicks are, but they’re all hot as hell. I can get over it. I was feeling tired and bitter before I got here, but it turns out the cure is having a couple dozen small hands rubbing my body while we dance. That might be able to fix just about everything.

  I can only dance so long before I need a drink. Or maybe ten drinks. I doubt they can hear me, but I excuse myself from the women. I should offer to get them drinks, too, but damn, they’re women in a club. Drinks come to them. And we’re past the stage where I’m trying to get their attention. They’ll be fine.

  I slip through the crowd and push my way into the other crowd at the bar. I order two waters and a beer. I turn around when I feel a tap on my shoulder. A woman with short blonde hair and a black strapless dress stands behind me. I would definitely hit that.

  “Excuse me. I couldn’t help but see your performance out there.”

  I shrug. “No performance. I was just dancing with friends.”

  She laughs and rolls her eyes. “Sure you were. Are you… working here tonight?”

  “I am.” I don’t know what she means, but I am on the clock if you get technical.

  She looks around. “You’re providing… entertainment for all these ladies?” She bites her index finger and it is sexy as fuck.

  I take a huge swig of the water that’s put in front of me. “Yes. I work for Elite Entertainment Services. Are you with this party?” I wouldn’t mind going home with her.

  The blonde smiles big. “I’m not. But I am in the market for a big hunk of man meat like yourself. Do you have a card on you?”

  Damn. Maybe she’ll stick around after my party. I hand her a card out of my pocket.

  She smiles again. “Just a name and number. Niiiiice.” She runs the card back and forth across her knuckles.

  I have no idea what she means by that. This woman is confusing. “That number rings to my boss. She can schedule something with you for your party.”

  “Your boss? Is that what you call him?” She winks so big it has to be fake.

  “Well, I usually call her Stephanie, but she’s my boss.”

  She squeezes my bicep. “Oh, you’re going to be so perfect. I’ll be in touch…” She looks at the card. “Ben.”

  I wink back because I don’t really know what else to do with this chick. “I didn’t get your name.”

  “It’s Sheba.” She squeezes my arm again. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make a phone call.”

  Whatevs, weird hot lady.

  I finish my drinks and find my party again. Some of them are still on the dance floor and some are at the table. I’m trying to decide which way to go when I feel hands on both of my arms. I turn to each side and see two women who look a little familiar. It takes a second, but I recognize them as the redhead and the African-American woman from my first party. The ones who got into the argument with Juliana.

  “Hello, lover,” the redhead says.

  I put my arm around both of their waists. “So good to see you again, ladies. How’ve you been?”

  Someone squeezes my ass.

  “Lonely. So lonely, Ben,” the other one answers.

  I’m expecting porn music to start playing. This night is getting stranger by the minute. But also sexier by the minute. I’m very confused.

  The redhead whispers in my ear. “Ben, we threw this party for you. I hope you liked all the attention.”

  They threw this party for me? They’re the two special clients? Still confused. “Uh, I did. Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say.

  The African-American woman puts her hand up the front of my shirt. “So glad you had fun, love. Now we’d like you to come to our hotel room across the street and pay attention to only us.”

  “I…uh…” Are they saying what I think they’re saying? They want…with me? I hear the porn music loud and clear now. I’ve never…with two… This is new.

  The redhead takes my hand. “Are you coming, Ben?”

  I hope I don’t look like as much of a goofball as I think I do. “I think we all will tonight.” Oh my God, my stupid jokes.

  The other lady laughs, so maybe that wasn’t a deal breaker.

  I
follow them across the street to the hotel. We ride the elevator to the tenth floor, both of them groping me the whole time.

  The African-American lady pulls my face to hers. Her lips are so warm. I can’t wait to feel the rest of her. “My name is Sasha, by the way.”

  Jesus, I’m a dick. I’m about to fuck the hell out of both of them and I never asked their names. I’m turning into Steed.

  The elevator doors open and the redhead backs into the hallway. “I’m Molly.” She tugs at my waistband and I follow like it’s a leash.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you.” It’s hard to walk with Molly pulling at my pants and Sasha almost draped over my back, but I think I’ll live.

  Molly unlocks the door with her keycard. “Oh, I think the pleasure is going to be all ours.”

  I don’t say anything, but I really hope I get a little, too.

  The door closes behind us. It’s a nice suite with a separate living room. Sasha holds my hand and takes me to the couch. “Would you like anything from the minibar?”

  The last thing I want is to get whiskey dick. That would be twice as humiliating. “No, I’m fine. Thank you.”

  Sasha climbs on my lap. I grab her ass and slide her closer. Molly sits next to us and undoes the top few buttons of my shirt. Her hand slides inside and strokes my chest. Molly puts her other hand behind Sasha’s neck. Their lips press together. This is the single hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Molly turns her head and kisses my mouth. Sasha undoes the rest of the buttons on my shirt.

  Molly leans back and stands up. She slips her dress off her shoulders and it falls to the floor. She’s totally naked. Why do all of these women keep getting naked in front of me? I won a naked jackpot somewhere.

  Sasha sits up on her knees, still straddling my lap. Her dress has no straps, so I pull the top down to her waist. As far as fake tits go, all four of the ones in this room are pretty good. I run my hands up her back and pull one of her boobs to my mouth. She scratches my scalp with her long finger nails. It hurts, but not enough to make her stop. My tongue makes circles around her nipple. She scratches harder, so I take it she likes it rough. I use my teeth to tug at her nipple. She moans. I tug harder. She scratches harder. I might have a bald spot tomorrow. I let go so I can check on Molly. It seems rude to ignore her. She is naked and all. She’s standing in front of the couch watching us while she touches herself. My cock is throbbing against the zipper. Fucking throbbing.

  I move Sasha onto the cushion next to me. She unbuttons the rest of my shirt and I rip off my pants. I’m trying to remember every porn I’ve ever seen with three-ways and how they did foreplay, but I’ve got nothing. That’s what I get for fast forwarding through the plot. Shit.

  Molly slides her finger into my mouth. “Let’s move this party to the bed where we have more room.”

  She takes my hand and helps me up. I do the same for Sasha. Our sex train moves ten feet over to the bed.

  Molly runs her hand over my chest and down to cup my balls through my underwear. “You should lie down so I can sit on your face.”

  I don’t have to be told twice. I probably didn’t have to be told once. I lie down on one of the pillows. She crawls over and straddles my head, facing away from the headboard. She’s either waxed or had everything lasered off. I was with a girl once who kept things natural and it was like licking a Brillo pad. It wasn’t as nice as feeling smooth skin.

  I part her with my tongue and find that button that makes women scream. The tip of my tongue rolls back and forth over it. She’s squirming on my face already. I dip my tongue inside to taste Molly. She’s tart. This isn’t my favorite thing in the world, but it increases the chances of getting my dick sucked, so I do it. It’s a small price to pay.

  Molly comes faster than I expect. She moans and bucks against my face. I put my hands on her ass to try and control the jerking so she doesn’t break my nose. I feel my underwear being pulled down while Molly is still riding out her orgasm. Around Molly’s ass, I see Sasha leaning over the bed, sliding them off.

  Please let me get my dick sucked.

  Sasha climbs onto the bed next to me. Her dress is gone. She puts her hand behind Molly’s head, pulling her in for another kiss.

  My dick is so hard. Please, someone touch it.

  Like she hears me, Sasha slides back a little. Her body is lined up next to mine, her head toward my feet. She pulls her knees up under her, giving me a great view of her ass. I can’t see her face, but I definitely feel a warm mouth slide over my cock.

  I have one second of total happiness. Then I worry I’m going to come faster than Molly. It’s my first three-way, but I should try to last a respectable amount of time. I think of my grandmother naked. My balls loosen up a little.

  I put my tongue back on Molly, who’s propped up on her hands to the right of my legs. Her pussy is still in my face. I try to focus on her and not how much I want to jizz down Sasha’s throat. Molly starts to moan again. She reaches her left hand over and slides two fingers inside Sasha.

  I think of my grandfather naked now. It’s not helping. Sasha rocks back and forth onto Molly’s fingers. I think they’re in a contest to see who can moan the loudest and my dick is weeping. I wish this was one of those sleazy hotel rooms with a mirror on the ceiling. I bet we look like a pretzel gone wrong. I have to make Molly come again so it won’t be rude when I blow my load. I suck Molly’s clit into my mouth. She’s almost screaming with pleasure. I’m an oral sex master.

  Molly pumps her fingers into Sasha faster. Thinking of my entire family naked isn’t holding anything back anymore. Sasha tightens her lips around me and swallows. I can’t keep the same steady rhythm on Molly while my dick is having a party. It doesn’t seem to matter because she screams again and shudders on my face. That’s two orgasms I caused tonight. Sasha lets my mostly limp dick fall out of her mouth. Poor guy held out as long as he could. She yells out a string of curse words as Molly fingers her even faster. I’m counting that as a third orgasm for me since I assisted. Molly falls off me and lies to the right of me.

  I deserve a sex trophy.

  I never watched past this part of porn either. I guess we’re supposed to cuddle. Adding a third body makes this complicated.

  “Ben, you better call your driver to pick you up before it gets too late,” Molly says between fast breaths.

  Oh, I guess I didn’t need to worry about cuddling.

  CHAPTER 10

  PEACOCK

  MIRYAM

  “This is not a pity date, okay? It’s a service for which I am paying. And there will be no sex. Got it? None.”

  How did I get to a point in my life where I’m saying those words? How? Everything was perfect. Now I’m sitting in a Starbucks begging a hooker to pretend to date me. Of course the escort Sasha found is the same creep who groped me in the club. Of course. But, I’m out of time to find anyone else, so I don’t have much choice. This is messed up on so many levels. I can’t hate this any more than I do. I’ve tried and I can’t. I’m at maximum hate-age.

  “No sex. Got it.” He’s laughing at me. Asshole.

  “I mean it. If I so much as see the tip of your penis come out, I will kick it into your throat.” I don’t have time for bullshit from a prostitute.

  “Jesus! Calm down, lady.”

  I’m liking this guy less by the second. “Don’t ever tell a woman to calm down. Don’t you know this? Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of expert on women in… your field?”

  He closes his eyes and huffs. “I know plants. I don’t know sh… anything about women.” He leans his chair back on two legs. “What non-sexual service do you need?”

  That’s better. Down to business. “I need you to pretend to be my fiancé… um, ex-fiancé, David, for one day.” One day and then I’ll figure out how to tell my bubbie I’m going to be an old spinster. I just can’t deal with it now. I need to find a new firm since David and his tramp clearly intend to stay. I need to find a new place to live so I can
get off Sheba’s couch. Then I’ll tell my grandmother that David isn’t who any of us thought he was. She’s so frail. I hope she can handle it. I’m barely handling it.

  “Why is he your ex-fiancé?” He puts emphasis on the ex, which is plain rude.

  “No personal questions allowed!” Sheesh, this guy. First, he thinks he can touch my boobs, then he thinks he has a right to know the most private parts of my life. His overreaching sense of entitlement is off the charts.

  He raises his eyebrows. “You have a lot of rules. Where am I pretending to be David?”

  That’s an easier question. “At my cousin’s son’s bar mitzvah.”

  His mouth pops open and the front legs of his chair smack on the floor. “I’m going to a family event pretending to be your ex? Are you nuts? Hasn’t your family met the guy you were marrying?”

  I wave him off. “It’ll be fine. I just need you to fool my grandmother. My aunts are aware of the situation, and they are the only other ones who met Dav… him.” His name still catches in my throat from time to time.

  “Why are you trying to trick your own grandmother?” He folds his arms over his chest and sits back in his chair.

  “I said no personal questions.” Tomorrow is going to be the longest day ever.

  “Look, lady. I’m not in the business of hurting the elderly. I don’t want any part of this.” He pushes his chair back and gets up.

  He’s got some damn balls. “You sleep with desperate women for money. All of the sudden you have morals?”

  He freezes and stares at me. Something flashes in his eyes. He goes from amused and disinterested to fiery in a second. He looks like a different person altogether. “It’s not like that. Of all my clients, you’re the most desperate one I’ve seen. You shouldn’t talk about things you don’t know about.”

  I make my living arguing and talking. It’s not often that I’m left speechless.

  He pushes his chair in and then leans over the table, looking at my face. “Wait. I know you.” He laughs, but he doesn’t really sound amused. “You’re that bitch I ran into all dressed up in your bride-to-be penis outfit. What happened to you?”