Retribution

by Jasmine White

  ~ ~ ~

  The purr of the car as it hummed along First Avenue was strangely soothing to Katherine’s nerves as she stole a sideways glance at Johnny. His gaze was focused on the road ahead, his jaw muscles clenching and unclenching nervously—or angrily?

  If he felt her gaze on him, he showed no sign of it as he sped much too fast towards her apartment. He’d said nothing about her or Wesley, which made Katherine believe he was upset about something else. What, then?

  “Enjoy yourself?” His sudden attempt at conversation threw her a curve.

  “Yes,” she replied automatically, then added, “Not quite the evening I was hoping for though.” She stole another covert glance at him.

  “You seemed to be enjoying yourself okay. At least before I left you were.” Johnny was still watching at the road. Was he trying to hint at something between her and Wesley?

  “I like to dance. You know that.”

  Johnny simply nodded, leaving her on edge to wonder if he’d seen Wesley kissing her. Earlier all she’d wanted was to run to him and beg his forgiveness. Then he’d shown up late in a surly mood, destroying her desire to share anything with him.

  “Johnny.” She spoke in a low voice, her turn to look at the road.

  “Yep.” She felt more than saw him steal a glance at her.

  “What’s happened to us? We never used to be like this.” She took his silence as encouragement to keep going. “We used to have quarrels occasionally, yes. Who doesn’t? But we didn’t have these arguments that lasted for weeks. Your moods—I just can’t understand you anymore. I don’t know if it’s something I’ve done or something you need to get through on your own . . .” Her voice trailed off and she kept her focus on the road, waiting for his response. At that instant they pulled up to her apartment building and he sat silent for a long minute.

  She felt his gaze as he finally turned his full attention on her. “It’s not you at all, Kate.” He looked down at his hands that twisted nervously on the tan knobbed steering wheel. “You know how I feel about you. There’s other things going on. Other things I can’t control.”

  Katherine’s throat was choked with emotion, and she wondered at herself that she was able to respond gently. “What other things?” She turned in her seat to face him squarely. “Tell me about it. I can help you. That’s what I’m here for, to help you through things. That’s why we’re together; it’s what couples do.”

  He silently got out and came around to her side to open the door. Nervously fumbling with her purse, a new tube of pink Chanel lipstick rolled out onto the pavement. “Oh no!” Katherine exclaimed, quickly reaching and snatching it up right before it spiraled underneath the car. “Gosh, that was a close one. These things cost a fortune.” She looked at her hand holding her tube. Then involuntarily her eyes moved slightly up, to the little smudges of mud stuck on Johnny’s previously shiny black shoes.

  As she stepped out of the car he caught her tightly in his arms. Her ribs hurt from the tight embrace as he rested his head on her shoulder—and she was shocked to hear him smother a slight sob.

  “I know I’ve been awful to you lately,” he managed to choke out as he drew a deep wavering breath. “I love you, Kate . . . more than anything. I need you so bad. If you ever left me—I, I don’t know what I’d do. Prolly die or something.” His voice choked up again on the last words and Katherine felt a stirring of pity inside her.

  She lightly brushed his dark hair with one hand while he simply stood there resting his head on her shoulder. “It’s okay. I know you’ve been stressed about something lately. Maybe you should tell me about it.”

  He was silent for a moment. Katherine thought he was about to open up to her before he seemed to change his mind. “No. No, it’s okay. There’s nothing you can do. I’ll fix it. Maybe I’ll get a different job or something. I’ll be different from now on, I promise.”

  Katherine didn’t know how to respond, so she gave him a tight squeeze. “I hope so.” She was at a loss for words. How could she make him feel better when she didn’t know what the problem was? “Do whatever you need to make you feel better. I’m right here for you.”

  He sniffed again and continued to squeeze her tight for another minute. “I’ll let you go to bed now.” He finally released her, straightened up and pulled himself together enough to go back to the driver’s side of the car.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow?” Johnny asked, his eyes glistening from moisture as he opened the door.

  “I think so. It depends on whether Pamela needs to meet up with me or not.” Not wanting to look at his pain anymore, Katherine turned and walked dumbly to her apartment building. Before she had felt exhausted, now she just felt numb inside.