Life, Love, and Other Inequalities

by Argentina Ryder

  Student Council always sold concessions at athletic events, and he spotted Laverne Shelton, the Student Council sponsor underneath a white canopy tent by the bleachers, watching over the students as they made their sales. Then he noticed another familiar face. A familiar person, at least, Sawyer helping one girl roll an ice chest over to their tent. Matt waved over, grinning when Sawyer waved back.

  Paul nudged him, as if reading his mind. “Your boy can’t say no to any of those ladies, can he? They got him working hard as a mule over there.”

  Matt laughed, nudging aside that strange disquiet Paul’s words awakened; the notion of Sawyer and the female teachers, and Sawyer being characterized as ‘his boy’. “He seems to be popular with the staff.”

  Paul nodded. “With the kids, too. My Brandy’s in his class and told us he is doing a good job. Tries hard, doesn’t yell to make his voice heard. Kids respect that,” he added. “I mean, I was hoping she’d be older before crushing on some long-haired guy with tattoos all over his arms, but kids these days. Anyway, I expect you’ll be glad when their actual teacher gets back. Six more weeks?”

  “I guess so, yeah,” Matt answered, glancing once more at the concession tent before looking up to watch the team settling back into place as the scoreboard buzzed. Time for the second half.

  “I know, but we’ll win next time. Yeah, I bet Grandpa would drive you into town to watch a game.” Pause. “Well, as soon as the weather gets nicer, it’s still so hot out.” Matt heard the ping that signaled an incoming text. “Okay, well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you, too,” he said, then hanging up. He looked down at the incoming call’s number.

  The Portland area code made him grin.

  Can we meet in the morning?

  Just want to go over some

  ideas for test review I came up with.

  Sounds good, see you then.

  Thanks for the sodas and chips

  No worries.

  Sorry about the loss today.

  It happens.

  Better luck next week.

  A month into school, Matt felt like he’d found an efficient routine. Gym, coffee, school, then coaching. After heading home, he worked on grad class assignments, grading, answering emails and texts before calling his grandmother and then going to bed. It kept his day full and active, but Matt liked that productive feeling. If he skipped the gym once in a while in order to get to school in time to meet Sawyer for their math lessons, it wasn’t too much of a hardship, not really.

  The biggest surprise of the year so far in fact had been Lopez’s math class. Matt had expected to spend many extra hours each week working on the lesson plans and answer keys for that class, but after that first month at work, Sawyer had stepped up and taken on as much responsibility as he could within the purview of being a substitute. Sawyer graded all the assignments, taking a considerable chunk of work Matt had expected to do. Sawyer also started asking the other math teachers for help when he wasn’t certain how to approach a lesson.

  In fact, Matt hadn’t seen Sawyer much at all this week, other than standing at the doorway between periods, as they greeted their students entering the classroom. “He spends his weekends working out all the problems and making his own keys, to reinforce his learning,” Cora mentioned as she dropped off some grades for him to enter. Sawyer’s work ethic impressed the hell out of Matt.

  That was the good news.

  The bad news was that Matt found himself impressed by other… attributes. Sawyer sometimes wore this blue chambray shirt the exact same color as his eyes, and he looked real good in it.

  Real good.

  Sometimes Matt heard Sawyer’s cheerful laughter booming down the hallway, and he admired the natural way he connected with the students between classes.

  But worst of all was Jeans Day.

  On Fridays, the teachers could wear jeans with their Hays Hawks school shirts. Last week Matt found himself distracted during the monthly department meeting before school, watching Sawyer walk into Deanna’s room with some homemade pastries, wearing a pair of washed out blue jeans that fit him snug around the hips.

  It was fucking distracting.

  Was this bad news?

  Matt wasn’t embarrassed by his sexuality, but he also observed the adage ‘Don’t shit where you eat.’ He’d dealt with his needs in his own way, but this was the first time he’d worked this closely with someone he desired. He’d managed to not be ‘the gay teacher,’ didn’t want that to define his time here at Hays Middle School. Didn’t need that to interfere with his quest for success, for advancement. The gay teacher that got promoted.

  But damn, Sawyer was cute. And those tattoos didn’t help.

  One morning in late September, Matt arrived at the gym a few minutes later than usual and realized that someone beat him to the rowing machine. Tall, from the looks of it, with a ponytail tucked into a top bun. Matt could only see the man from behind, and he understood it wasn’t Sawyer, but he couldn’t stop gawking, listening as the other man exhaled loud with each stroke. Thinking. Wondering. Imagining.

  There was no need for him to be preoccupied and yet, here he was.

  Matt saw the text notification and paused the show he was watching, reaching for his phone. It was Sawyer.

  Sorry to text so late but

  I got some news for you

  No worries I’m still up.

  I keep forgetting to tell you

  I missed you all day

  I mean I missed seeing you.

  I got a new kid in my 6th period

  Really? How many is that now?

  24 I think

  but that’s not the news

  this kid stayed after school to work

  on putting his spiral notebook together

  and I asked about how he was doing

  new school and all.

  He said that he was okay but that his brother

  was sad because he used to be the

  quarterback at his old school and

  had to leave his team.

  Matt blinked.

  8th grade?

  Yeah.

  Said his bro hasn’t said anything to

  coaches because he’s still mad about moving

  Name’s DeShaun Edwards.

  He’s in Sylvia’s class.

  Talk to him. Might be the answer to your prayers.

  I’ll go find him tomorrow.

  Thanks!

  Anytime. Go Hawks lol

  Matt set his phone down and turned the tv off, no longer interested in finishing his show. He brushed his teeth and headed to bed. Resting his head on his pillow, he stared at the ceiling for a long moment. Sawyer really was a good guy.

  Matt wondered what kind of guy appealed to him. He wondered what his last boyfriend looked like, and why they split up.

  He wondered what Sawyer looked like without those blue jeans on.

  October

  To: All_Staff_HaysMS

  From: Terrence Mendez

  Date: October 17

  Subject: Extracurricular duty reminders

  We still need a couple volunteers to chaperone Friday’s Fall Harvest Dance, sponsored by the PTA. Contact Angela York, PTA President, if you have questions or would like to sign up. Also, just a reminder that Hays Middle School will host our annual Food Fest Fundraiser on Saturday, October 28th. There will be an organizational meeting on Wednesday after school in the library. All participating club sponsors must attend.

  Terrence Mendez

  Assistant Principal, Sarah Hays Middle School

  In the blink of an eye, the first quarter was over. Panicking students were suddenly turning in piles of missing assignments, and Matt had to enter all the grades for both his and Sawyer’s classes. The teachers had until Monday to enter their grades, but his grandmother asked him to come to the ranch over the weekend and help with the winter hay delivery, and he didn’t want the grades looming over his head while he over the weekend But during eighth period Matt realized he
was missing some grades from two of Sawyer’s classes, so he walked down the hall to ask about them.

  A paper sign taped to C106 said that the class was in the cafeteria. Curious. Matt headed downstairs to see what was going on. Turning the corner off the stairwell, he spotted several students taping brown and gold streamers to the cafeteria’s glass walls, while other students helped custodians push the long tables and chairs to the side of the room to set up a dance floor.

  Of course, Sawyer offered to help. As he neared the cafeteria, Matt noticed him on the far-right side of the large room, assisting a couple students make concession price list signs on poster boards. “Hey,” Matt said. “I found you.”

  “You found me,” Sawyer repeated with a smirk, finishing his poster and holding it up to the others for inspection. Sawyer rarely wore his head down, but today he had just a few strands pulled back on top into a small ponytail, the rest of it flowing free and brushing his shoulders. Looking up at Matt, Sawyer continued, “Be careful. If you stand around too long or ask what’s going on, you’re going to get enlisted into helping decorate for the dance.”

  “Is that what happened here?” Matt stepped back as another group of kids walked by, carrying cases of soft drinks and boxes of chips and candy, setting them all up behind two long tables. “You just cannot say no to anyone, can you?”

  “Apparently not,” Sawyer agreed. “In my defense, the eighth period class is ahead of the other classes because they’re awesome.” Sawyer reached out and high-fived one of the boys. “We didn’t want to get any further ahead, so here we are, as a reward. Also, I don’t remember dances being this cool when I was a kid, and I was curious. It looks like it’s going to be a fun time.”

  “Mr. Ruiz.” Angela York called out to him as she approached. She had been their PTA president for the past four years. But her youngest was an eighth grader this year and leaving for high school, and Angela was finishing her reign with a bang. “Would you mind helping us with the tables?” she asked. “Hard as these kids are trying, we are running out of time and could use your free labor and leg muscles.” She smiled at Sawyer. “You too, Mr. Evans.”

  “Absolutely.” Glancing down at his phone, Matt saw they still had a few minutes left before the end of the day. Matt rolled up his sleeves and soon he and Sawyer were moving tables over to the side. After that, he helped the kids finish setting up the concession area, arranging all the candies and taping signs up to the cafeteria walls and on the front of the tables. “See, if you put the ice chests with the drinks over here,” Matt said, pointing at the far left side of their table, “you won’t have all that condensation dripping all over the money and the rest of the food.”

  The girls looked impressed. “That’s smart.”

  “Not my first rodeo.” Matt laughed, looking up just as the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. Soon the cafeteria swarmed with kids running for their backpacks and binders, pouring out into the hallways, and joining their friends as they headed down the hall toward their lockers. “Are you staying for the dance?” Matt asked, turning to see if Sawyer followed him.

  “Yeah.” Sawyer nodded, waving at Mrs. York, letting her know that he would be right back. “I told Dan Gotti that I’d take pictures for the yearbook for him. His daughter’s scout troop is camping overnight somewhere this weekend, and he couldn’t make it tonight. But I need to get my bag and turn off my computer.” Sawyer looked over at Matt as they made their way down the crowded hall and up the stairs, students excited at the prospect of the impending school dance. “Are you staying?”

  “Can’t. Heading to the ranch this weekend.” They reached their hallway and Matt opened his door. He turned, leaning against the doorway. “They’re having hay delivered for the cows. I guess they need to eat this winter.” Matt rolled his eyes. “Apparently they also need my free labor.”

  “And your leg muscles.” Sawyer grinned. “Well, you and the cows have a pleasant weekend. You’ve earned it. I’ll see you on Monday.”

  “You too, Sawyer.” Matt watched as Sawyer walked down toward his classroom, turning back, and looking one last time at Matt before he unlocked his classroom door and headed inside.

  Matt was halfway to the ranch when he remembered why he went looking for Sawyer in the first place - the missing grades. Oh well, he decided, they’d just have to get together Monday morning to get them entered.

  “As we all know, this weekend is the annual Fall Food Fest,” Deanna announced as she closed out the end of the month department meeting. “Historically, this has been the most successful fundraiser for the Hays Middle School Math Club, and I expect this year to be no exception.” She held up a sign-up sheet. “We’ve got a cold front blowing in tomorrow, so - please stop laughing, Mr. Evans, I can see you mocking me but highs in the low 50s is brisk and chilly and I am choosing to ignore you. Alex is changing his donation of soft drinks to include hot cocoa makings. Great idea, Alex. Sylvia is bringing her pumpkin bars and lemon bars, and I’ve got my mom’s famous brownie recipe-”

  “The one with the cookie dough mixed in?” Sylvia asked, tapping her pencil on her desk.

  “That very recipe.” Deanna smiled proudly “Even though she’s gone, Dorothy has sent some money to buy napkins, plates, and cups. Sawyer has kindly offered to make us some gourmet cupcakes.” All the teachers glanced around at each other, excited at this prospect. Then Deanna glanced over at Matt. “We know you’re very busy this year, Matt, so you’re off the hook if you don’t have time to help out.”

  Fuck. He felt that brief stab of guilt right between the eyes. “I’ll come up with something.” Matt reached for the sign-up sheet. “And I will be there for sure tomorrow to help sell, as long as you need me.”

  “You could help me with the cupcakes.” Sawyer glanced over at him. “I could make even more if I’ve got someone frosting and decorating them while I’m baking.” Sawyer looked over at Matt, a wry smile on his face. “That is, if you have some time tonight.”

  Matt thought about it. He’d planned on heading one of the high school football games with Paul, but shame and guilt won out. Guilt and something else. “I’ve got time.”

  Deanna’s face broke out into a broad smile. “Fabulous. I’m not gonna lie, I think Sawyer’s cupcakes are going to steal the show tomorrow. I’ve had several staff members ask me about them already.” She added Matt’s name to the sign-up sheet and set it on her desk. “The festival starts at eleven sharp, so have your food here before then or bring them to my house this evening. Please remind the Math Club kids in your classes what time they need to be here tomorrow with their baked goods, or if they’re helping us sell. We’re setting up tables in the faculty parking lot.” The bell rang, signaling the end of the meeting and the start of first period. “Have a great day, everyone.”

  During third period, Matt felt his phone vibrate.

  I didn’t mean to put you on the spot this morning.

  If you can’t make it, I won’t say anything to anyone.

  You can still take credit for helping.

  It tempted Matt. But no, he needed to help. Also, he wanted to see where Sawyer lived.

  No, I can come. I need to help.

  Send me your address. What time?

  Shady Creek RV park, #26

  any time after 5

  Okay. See you then.

  The Shady Creek RV park sat on the edge of town, up Highway 183 leading toward Austin. Matt arrived at half-past five, pulling into the park and slowing at the first intersection, re-reading the directions Sawyer had sent him. Enter the park, make a right, another right, and a left at the playground, parking next to a large blue pickup truck parked behind a shiny silver Airstream. The familiar ten-speed leaned against the front of the trailer, close to a small barbecue grill, patio table, and a couple flower pots. Two crudely carved pumpkins decorated the ground around the steps up to the RV’s front door.

  Interesting. Matt stepped out of his truck carrying a six pack of Shiner Bock and he
ard someone calling his name. Turning his head, Matt saw Sawyer waving at him from an adjacent trailer, wearing jeans and a Hays Hawks hoodie. Sawyer finished speaking to an older woman standing on her porch and hugged her goodbye before making his way toward Matt. “You found me.”

  “I found you,” Matt said, looking around and handing Sawyer the beer. Some of the RVs looked like they’d been parked for years, with more space between them than Matt expected. The RV next to Sawyer had a picnic table in front, a Texas flag, and a satellite dish mounted to the roof. “You know, I’ve lived in this town almost all my life, and I’ve never been here, to this trailer park. It’s bigger than I thought.” Glancing at Sawyer’s shiny silver Airstream, he nodded in appreciation, noticing the hook-ups on the back to the RV park’s water and electricity system.

  “It’s a nice little place,” Sawyer replied. “It’s quiet, and there’s a creek that runs behind the park. Sometimes I see kids fishing out there.” Sawyer stepped up and into the trailer, holding the door open for Matt and closing it after Matt stepped inside. It made Matt smile, seeing an entire house packed into a long silver tube, but here it was. “Please, let me give you the grand tour.” He pointed to the right of the front door. “Living area.” Matt saw a small sofa and table, television mounted on a wall, shelves close to the top covered in cookbooks and plants. A small Yorkie stretched out lazily on the sofa, sitting up and yawning when she noticed they had a guest. “This is Biscuit,” he said, stroking her back as she approached them. “She’s harmless, mostly.”