“I'll let you know in the morning.” Sawyer pulled Matt close and then they kissed again, deeper and hungrier. “Tell me what you want.”
Matt wanted a lot. His hands slid under Sawyer’s hoodie, touching warm, smooth skin. “This,” he murmured as Sawyer’s mouth found his neck again, a hot tongue tracing along his pulse point. He pulled off Sawyer’s hair tie, threading his fingers through those long soft strands. “I want you so fucking bad.”
“Okay.” Sawyer pulled back and rested his forehead against Matt. Taking him by the hand, he led Matt over toward his bed and sat down, spreading his legs so Matt could stand between them. Matt didn’t often look down at Sawyer, and from this perspective he looked younger, even more boyish. “What are you thinking?” Sawyer asked, his hands settling on Matt’s hips.
“Fuck, so many things. But right now…” Matt tugged Sawyer’s hoodie over his head. “I mostly just want to see your ink up close and personal.” They both laughed, kissing again. Matt’s hands traced over the tattoos on Sawyer’s shoulders, intricate patterns mixed with some chef’s knives and assorted vegetables.
Sawyer’s eyes closed as Matt touched his arms and chest. “Anything I need to know before we...” He opened his eyes, looking up at Matt. “Before anything happens?”
“Yeah.” Matt sat down next to Sawyer and brushed their lips together. “Sometimes I get a little ticklish.” They laughed again, some levity mixed in with their sexual energy, and all of Matt’s nerves melted away. Soon their clothes lay tossed into a pile on the floor. Sawyer’s hands were everywhere, touching and gripping and holding Matt’s body like he owned it, endless kisses as they learned each other’s bodies. It was perfect.
Except… “Hey, babe.” Matt’s hand lifted Sawyer’s chin, their eyes meeting. He nodded over at the sofa, the dog staring at them. “Is she going to watch the entire time?”
“I fucking hope not.” Sawyer’s blue eyes were bright with mirth as rolled them over, dropping kisses along Matt’s body as he slid down between his legs.
Afterward, Matt lay on his side looking out a small window next to Sawyer’s bed. Long arms wrapped around him, and Matt felt Sawyer kiss the back of his neck as they lay under a thick blanket. Sawyer reached his hand around and laced their fingers together. "You okay?"
“I'm good. I'm great.” Matt smiled, leaning back against that firm body. A little sore, but he expected that. Turning around, he wrapped his arms around Sawyer, pressing baby kisses on his cheeks, his nose, his mouth. This felt even more intimate than what they'd just done, and Matt couldn't remember the last time he'd lingered like this with a lover, with no intention of moving. "How 'bout you?"
Sawyer groaned, their legs tangling. "Amazing." One more kiss, and he rested his head against Matt's shoulder. "You’re amazing. That was even better than I imagined."
"You imagine much?" Matt asked, his fingers threading through Sawyer’s hair.
"You've got no idea." They looked at each other for a long moment. Sawyer leaned in and kissed Matt’s nose. “You need to leave?”
Matt shook his head. “Pretty sure you’re going to make me breakfast in the morning.” They kissed again. “I’m not missing out on that.”
January
Data exists that show restorative discipline can work effectively when used with fidelity, but what are teacher attitudes towards these practices that place much of the burden back on their shoulders? Most responses have been positive, with stakeholders reporting increased positive student-teacher relationships and decreased disciplinary actions. However, teachers also expressed the need for more initial and ongoing guidance and -
Matt hung his head. The word was on the tip of his tongue, right out of reach. Maybe that meant it was time for a rest. Rolling his shoulders, he pushed back away from his desk and stretched, arms raised upward. When he shifted to take a step, he had to tiptoe over Biscuit, snoring next to him. “Don’t let me interrupt you,” he murmured to the dog who cracked open one eye and yawned before closing it again. Lovely. A quiet rain tapped on the side of the house, a gray and gloomy weekend, and Matt guessed that maybe the dog had the right idea.
He reached for his coffee mug and headed into the kitchen. He couldn’t help that indescribable emotion he had, seeing Sawyer sitting on his sofa, folding towels while watching something on the television. It felt like playing house, spending the weekend together, the two of them and the dog. They’d spent all day Saturday clearing out Matt’s garage and putting up new shelving, then fell asleep in a tangle after Matt received the best blow job in the shower he’d ever experienced. The next morning, Sawyer made them a hearty Sunday morning breakfast and then started doing his laundry with Matt’s washing machine while Matt got to work on his research paper. He walked over and refilled his coffee mug. “Need some help?”
“Did you finish?” Sawyer asked, making a tidy pile of towels inside his basket.
“Almost?” Matt sat on the arm of the sofa and leaned in for a kiss. “Just taking a break.”
Sawyer leaned back, away from his face. “You get a kiss when you’re finished.”
Matt sighed. “That’s mean.”
“Tough love.” Sawyer reached over and gave him a peck on the cheek. “I will have a surprise for you for late lunch, but you gotta go finish.”
“I will. Just needed to stretch my legs.” Biscuit trotted down the hallway, peering around as if she woke up and realized she was alone. “Look who’s awake.”
“What’s your paper about?” Sawyer pet the sofa next to him, watching as Biscuit jumped up and started gazing at Matt. “Traitor,” he said affectionately, stroking her back.
“She’s a good girl.” Matt reached out and pet the dog as well. He took a deep breath, sitting more comfortably at the other side of the sofa, smirking as Biscuit headed his way, settling in his lap. “The paper is about campus discipline.”
“That’s important in a school. Do you think you’ll enjoy doing that kind of work more than teaching the kids, when you give up teaching?”
Matt shrugged. “It’s part of the job of an administrator. Running the school, dealing with broader issues. It’s important work.”
“Didn’t say that it wasn’t,” Sawyer answered. “I just asked if that was how you wanted to spend your days. You’re great with the kids. You explain these concepts in ways that make it easier to understand.”
“Thanks.” Matt felt warm at the compliment. “It’s fun watching them understand and then applying it. Sometimes I hear about former students, the ones that are in high school already and how they’re succeeding. It feels good knowing that I was a part of that.” His first group of kids were starting college. That was something to think about. “But I never wanted to teach forever. There was always a higher goal.”
“Running a school district,” Sawyer said, reaching for a pile of socks.
“Making a difference. Maybe I can help teach the teachers how to be successful. It would affect kids too,” he added.
“Agreed. Just-” Sawyer rested on hand on Matt’s arm. “I just think-” He paused, then continued. “Work should be more than just achievement. It should satisfy you as well, the day-to-day parts of the job. You should want to get up every day and keep going.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having goals.”
“I don’t disagree with that.” Sawyer leaned in and kissed Matt, soft and sweet. “The key is making sure you’ve got the right goals.”
By later than afternoon, Matt had written a good chunk of the paper. Satisfied, Matt emerged from his office and spotted Sawyer and his dog stretched out long on the living room sofa. They were both sleeping while a British cooking show played quietly in the background. The light rain hadn’t let up, and the house was cool, the scent of something warm wafting from the kitchen. Matt picked up an old quilt from the loveseat and covered Sawyer and then settled down with his phone. He took a quick picture of them before opening one of his mobile game apps and started playing. Twenty minutes went by and the over time
r began chiming.
Sawyer blinked his eyes open. “Is that the timer?”
“Yeah,” Matt said. “And it smells wonderful.” Biscuit had migrated to his lap, and he carefully shifted her off of him so he could get up and follow Sawyer into the kitchen to check out whatever was cooking. “This is just for the two of us, right?” he asked, as Sawyer pulled a massive pan of lasagna out of the oven. “You don’t have a family somewhere I don’t know about.”
Sawyer laughed. “I wanted enough, so we’d have lunches this week. I’m working three days at the high school, and you can give your ham sandwiches a brief vacation.”
“They will be missed, it must be said,” Matt said. “But somehow I’ll manage.” He reached into the cabinets and pulled out plates and began setting the table while Sawyer quickly put a pan of garlic bread in the oven to heat and pulled a green salad out of the fridge. Soon they were sitting down and eating, Matt’s expression of one of satisfaction and a little amazement. “You just threw this together?” Matt shook his head and wondered why he didn’t cook like this for himself more often.
“It’s not that hard, making lasagna. Just gotta have the right ingredients.” Sawyer’s face lit up when he saw Matt eating, reminding Matt of a similar expression on his grandma’s face sometimes.
Satisfaction or something like that. “Well, it’s amazing. You’re really talented,” Matt told him. “This makes you happy, feeding people?”
Sawyer looked over at him, chewing thoughtfully. “I never thought about it like that. I know it feels good, seeing all these separate ingredients come together into this.” Sawyer pointed at the lasagna in the pan. “It’s like alchemy, in a way. That’s cool, and I enjoy seeing that happen.” Reaching over, he wiped a bit of sauce off of Matt’s jaw. “It feels good when people say it tastes good too.”
“My alchemist,” Matt smiled, leaning close and kissing him. Thunder rumbled outside, both men turning toward the window. “Gonna start storming soon.”
Sawyer frowned. “That’s my cue to take off. I don’t want to get caught outside in a downpour with all my clean clothes and the dog.”
It was on the tip of Matt’s tongue to ask Sawyer to stay another night, to tell him he could get up extra early in the morning and head home to change, or just leave from Matt’s house. But spending the night was one thing; were they ready for two nights in a row? How soon before that became a week or longer? “You get your lasagna for lunches. I’ve got some extra plastic containers. We can put some of this salad in a plastic bag too.” Soon Sawyer was bundled up, Biscuit leashed and tucked under Sawyer’s jacket while Matt carried the laundry baskets over to Sawyer’s truck, setting them on the passenger side as Sawyer climbed behind the wheel. “Good thing you’re not on the bicycle.”
“Can you imagine?” Sawyer grinned, pushing Biscuit off his lap, and leaned over to kiss Matt goodbye. Matt glanced around and didn’t notice anyone, but Sawyer seemed to catch on to Matt’s discomfort. “I’ll call you later. Thanks, babe.” Sawyer rolled the window up and pulled out of the driveway, and Matt walked back into a house that now felt too big for just him.
“All I know is that she was sitting in the middle of the living room next to this dead bird, staring up at me like I should be thankful she’s contributing to the household.” Kristine laughed as she presented her phone, revealing a photograph of a cat and a floor covered in feathers. “Can you believe this?”
“Knowing your luck, yeah, I do. Now, what I want to know is,” Cynthia asked, pointing at Matt’s lunch, “does that lasagna taste as wonderful as it smells, because it smells amazing.”
Matt looked up from his plastic container, noting that everybody was glancing at him. He couldn’t mask the smile on his face as he ate. “It does. Heats pretty good too.”
“Spoiled rotten, that’s what you are, having a boyfriend who’s a brilliant chef.” But the affection in Cynthia’s voice told Matt that his colleagues were happy for him while not being intrusive.
Well, not being too intrusive. “Do you know if Sawyer’s available to sub this Friday?” Alicia asked. “I think we’re going to go visit my parents.”
Matt shook his head. “I don’t know. Send him a text and see what he’s up to.”
“I’ll text him later.” She smiled, soft and knowing. “I’m glad he’s still here.”
Matt chuckled lightly, taking another bite. “Me too.”
“Do you think he’s sticking around for a while?” Steve asked.
“I don’t know.” Matt paused a moment. It was a question he’d asked himself a few times since they’d started dating. “We haven’t- I mean, we’ve only been going out a couple weeks.” It felt like longer, Matt knew, but this relationship was still very new and sometimes he still didn’t believe they were together.
“Well, I hope he sticks around,” Alicia said, “and not just because he’s a great substitute.”
Matt swung by his favorite burger place and picked up dinner for the two of them. Pulling a hot fry out of the bag, he blew on it before taking a bite, still somehow burning his tongue. A little after six in the evening, driving toward Sawyer’s place, the winter sun going down early. Although Sawyer came to his house pretty regularly, Matt made this trip a few times now, making the familiar turns and pulling into Sawyer’s space. Late January and Miss Amanda still had her Christmas lights on her trailer, twinkling colorful and bright as he parked his truck. Festive.
He grabbed the food and drinks, closing the door to his truck with his foot and walking toward the trailer. He heard Biscuit scrambling around inside as he stepped up toward the door, knocking twice. “Hey babe,” he called out, laughing when the door opened, and he saw Sawyer’s bright smile. “I made dinner.”
Sawyer looked down at the fast food bags. “You made burgers?” Sawyer grinned, kissing Matt’s cheek and taking the food out of the bags, separating them into two piles.
“The cheeseburger is for you,” he said. “The other one is mine.” Matt took his meal and sat down at the small kitchen table. Looking around, he spotted the sink full of dirty dishes and Sawyer’s video camera positioned in filming mode. “So, what were you up to this afternoon?” he asked, taking a bite of his burger. “Looks like a tornado rolled through here.”
Sawyer rolled his eyes and sat next to him, eating his fries two at a time. “Flan,” he said proudly. “It took a couple tries to get it looking good, but the custard tasted amazing. Right now it’s cooling in the fridge. Sorry I had to ask you to bring me dinner, but I didn’t think it would take as long as it did. If you can stay, you can be my guinea pig later.” Taking another fry, Sawyer held it out in front of Matt’s mouth. “I’ll reward you handsomely for your efforts, and for dinner.”
“You got a deal.” They ate quickly, both of them hungry from their respective long days. “So tell me about how you-” he began, interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. A quick glance informed him it was his grandmother. “Hey, give me a minute real quick, okay?” Matt stood and held up his phone. “Gonna just-”
“Oh yeah, go for it,” Sawyer said. “I can step outside if you need some privacy, or…”
Matt shook his head. What was he going to say that this man couldn’t hear? “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just sit over there in the living room.” He stepped past Sawyer, who swatted his ass as he passed, and settled on the sofa three feet away.
Lifting the phone to his face, he angled his body away from Sawyer so he wouldn’t laugh. “Hey Grandma, what’s up?” Matt stretched out, reaching over to pet the small dog who’d ambled over toward him as he listened, nodding and making the occasional assenting noise. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, I guess- are you going to the funeral?” he asked. “Well, tell Grandpa I said hey, and I’ll see you guys soon.” He paused, turning his head, watching Sawyer clearing their fast food trash. “Um, I can ask him.” Another pause. “I bet he’d like that. I’ll let you know.”
A few minutes later he put the phone down and
glanced at Sawyer, drying the cleaned dishes with a small towel and placing everything in its spot in his well-organized kitchen. Standing, he stepped behind Sawyer and wrapped his arms around him. “You busy next weekend?”
Sawyer made a face as if he were deep in thought. “Well, off the top of my head, I don’t seem to have anything urgently pressing.” Turning his body, he looked down at Matt and asked, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. Well, not all good news. A friend of the family passed away.”
“Oh shit,” Sawyer murmured. “Someone you knew?”
“Yeah, I remember him from when I was a kid.” Matt remembered a kind man with a missing tooth who used to share Tootsie Rolls with him. “Mr. Ramon, he used to work with my grandpa at the ranch. Stroke, it sounds like.”
“That’s too bad,” Sawyer said, kissing his forehead.
Matt agreed, sitting back down on the sofa. “Anyhow, I asked about next weekend because my grandma wants to make tamales. It’s a very… mass assembly-like production.” Matt laughed softly. “And… she thought you might like to learn.”
“Absolutely.” Sawyer lit up. “That sounds like fun.”
Matt’s face spoke volumes about what he thought about that. “I’ll ask you again about two hours into the entire process. Still,” he admitted, “we’ll have enough for a few months. It’s always worth it in the end.” He tipped his face up for a kiss when Sawyer leaned in. “You mentioned something about a reward earlier?”
Sawyer laughed. “Mind like a steel trap. Yeah, and it should be chilled enough by now.” One more kiss, and Sawyer stepped back toward the kitchen and opened the fridge. Pulling out a tray, he carefully set it down on the counter, several small custard discs sitting in baking cups. “Honest opinion. Tell me what you think.”
Matt stood and walked over, leaning against Sawyer who plated one of the small flans. “Looks good,” he said, reaching a finger down into the caramel liquid dripping on the small plate. “Gimme a fork.”
Life, Love, and Other Inequalities Page 11