Buying Thyme

by TJ Hamilton

  I scrub every inch of my body over and over until my skin prickles with raw sensitivity from the friction of scrubbing. I want to get rid of any remaining thought of what just happened. I want to forget it ever happened. Why am I with someone like Tench right now when there is someone like Tom Smythe in the world? Tom never took advantage of me, and had a respect for me that I will never have with Tench. All those nights with Tom where he just looked after me and I have just one night here and Tench does this to me. I want to run far far away from this place, but I can’t. I am trapped in this compound for the next month, like a prisoner. I want to run to Tom. I finish in the shower and wrap one of the big towels around my wet hair and another around my body to try and hug something around myself. I make my way back to the bedroom and crawl into the big, white cloudy bed in the middle of the room. In contrast to its luxurious look, the bed feels cold and uninviting, like no one has been in it for a long time… if at all. I just want to hide under the covers and never come out. The darkness between the sheets warms me into a feeling of safety. I’m exhausted from the tears and the inner torment. My eyes are sore and heavy and I feel myself drift off into sleep… searching for some peace in my dreams.

  Movement on the bed startles me from what was a pleasant slumber. My eyes spring open and I see Tench is sitting on the edge of the bed. My eyes still have a sting to them, a reminder of my earlier tears. He reaches out to me and I flinch. I don’t want him to touch me. My reaction wipes the smile from Tench’s face and he looks saddened by this.

  “Miranda…” He says softly as he reaches out again and lightly brushes my cheek with the back of his hand.

  This still makes me tense up. I lay frozen in the bed. I want to move but I can’t.

  “You’re taking this all the wrong way gorgeous.” He hisses the last word, “I want to be with you. I wanted to show you how much I want to be with you. I thought you would enjoy the fact that I trust you enough not to wear a condom. You’re taking this the wrong way Miranda. I would never have done that if I thought you would react like this.”

  My eyes stay on Tench, but I move my head away slightly so that he is no longer touching my face.

  “But you know that we can’t do that Joe. And I told you to stop… you didn’t stop. I wanted you to stop but you just…” I can’t finish the sentence.

  My voice still has a crackle to it and I can feel the tears building up again. I don't want to let Tench see my tears, I feel weak enough as it is. I don’t want to feel like this. Tench took something that was so precious from me and now he’s just acting like I was asking for it!

  “I want you in my life Miranda... and if the only way I get you is to buy you so that no one else has you… then that’s what I’ll do. You have to understand how strongly I feel for you.” His voice is low but no longer soft.

  It sounds like a warning. Once again, I don’t understand him.

  “Look Miranda. Let’s not let this ruin the rest of your time here. I’ve made you some breakfast…” His voice is soft and gentle again.

  Tench picks up the tray from the bedside table. The crockery on the tray jingles in harmony as Tench places the tray next to me on the bed. I sit up in the bed, pulling the towel up, preventing my breasts from exposing themselves to him. Tench made me breakfast? Maybe I did take this all wrong? I want to believe that idea, but then I remember the robe-tie that he held around my neck, and remind myself to know better than to trust his empty words.

  “How long was I asleep for?” I wonder out aloud.

  “Long enough for me to have to search for you! I was getting worried that you may have ran away.” Tench replies and places the tray on my lap before he plants a kiss on my forehead.

  He walks towards the door of the bedroom and pauses at the doorway,

  “By the way, Miss Stephanie rang earlier for your welfare check, so you had better call her back soon. There’s a phone in here somewhere. Don’t ask me where… but there is apparently. So call her back when you’ve finished breakfast.” Tench stays at the doorway watching me for a moment. I don’t know what to say in response.

  “I will.” I say quietly.

  “Oh and Miranda… about this morning… I think for your sake, it’s probably something you would want to keep to yourself… okay.” He continues to stare at me, waiting for me to acknowledge the definite warning.

  “Okay.” I look down at the tray in front of me, not wanting to show Tench how vulnerable I feel right now.

  I feel trapped… both mentally and physically.

  I slowly eat my way through the poached eggs on toast with Zaatar sprinkled on top. I eat it, but I don’t taste anything. I just eat for the sake of eating. The orange coloured breakfast juice is refreshing and heavy at the same time. Once I’m done, I get up and locate the phone beside the window on a long skinny, dark wood hall table. A blue and white striped armchair sits next to it. I dial the Agency number and sit on the chair with my legs up. Pulling my knees to my chest, I prepare myself for a conversation with my madam that I really don’t want right now.

  “Hi Miss Stephanie, It’s Miranda.”

  She mumbles something in reply, but I’m really not listening at all. There is too much occupying my mind. Then I remember my dream.

  “Is Sally back yet?” I cut her off mid sentence.

  “No Miranda. It has been two days of no-show from that girl. She has cost me a lot of money! She can consider herself out of a position here with the Agency. I am in the process of cancelling her contract with us as we speak.”

  “But Miss Stephanie… Don’t you think it’s really out of character for her not to show up at all? Has anyone been around to her house? I’m really starting to worry about her. This just isn’t like her at all!” I start to panic about my friend’s safety now, my dream flashing before my eyes again and again.

  “I’ve contacted her emergency contacts and none of her family have seen her for over a month, but it doesn’t sound like they have much to do with her anyway. Her phone has been off for a couple of days. When did you speak to her last darling?” Miss Stephanie still doesn’t sound convinced that Sally hasn’t just taken off without telling anyone.

  “She called my phone the day before I came back to work, but I didn’t speak to her. She just left a message for me to call her back. Her phone has been off for three days now. I haven’t tried her today, have you?” I am genuinely concerned for her safety now.

  The feeling that something is wrong is growing stronger. I can feel it in my bones. I just hope I’m wrong.

  “I’ll send Ben around to her place now. It is unusual for Sally, I must admit. But it is not the first time one of my girls has done this Miranda, so I’m not surprised if she has decided to leave the Agency without so much as a goodbye. I know you’re very close with her, but please don’t be surprised if that is the case. You know as well as anyone what it’s like in this industry. Please accept that she will no longer be working for this Agency. I’m sorry Miranda. It just has to be.”

  “Well I know my friend and I know she would never do that.”

  I slam the phone down in frustration and quickly leave the room to get my iPhone from my bag in Tench’s room. I tip out the entire contents of my bag across Tench’s bed. My phone is missing! Tench! So I am being held captive here! What is this all about?

  Putting on my oversized woollen jumper and black leggings, I make my way down to the kitchen to try and find that bastard! How dare he touch any of my personal belongings… let alone take them from me! Hasn’t he taken enough from me this morning? Now he’s taking my freedom too! Mrs Oktar is bustling about in the kitchen when I make my dramatic entrance.

  “So where the hell is he then? Does he do this to you too? Are you held here like a prisoner too? He’s got a lot of nerve! I know he’s some kind of powerful guy in this city… but this is ridiculous! I want to know where he is to get my phone back! He’s taken my phone! Can you believe he took it?” Mrs Oktar is staring at me in a state of shock.r />
  I don’t know where this has come from either. I think between the morning’s events and not knowing where Sally is, I’ve lost control! Mrs Oktar rushes around the central bench of the kitchen, putting her arm around me, she directs me to a stool. The rare moment of a motherly touch sends me over the edge and I burst into tears as I sit down on the stool. I’m angry, sad, scared and confused all at once and I can’t take it any longer.

  “There there dear… I know Mr Tench can be tough sometimes, but he’s under a lot of pressure at the moment and I know he’s very fond of you, he’s just not used to that, so try to be patient with him okay. Come on… what would you like me to make you for lunch? Would you like some tea?” Mrs Oktar tries to reassure me.

  He's fond of me? Fuck. I’d hate to see what he’s like if he hated me.

  “Do you have something stronger than tea?” I joke… with a hint of truth to the request, “I’ve just eaten but I could go a coffee maybe?” I mumble, still sucking back the tears.

  “White with one?” Mrs Oktar smiles and makes her way over to the enormous stainless steel Wega coffee machine.

  Mrs Oktar knowing how I have my coffee makes me think of Tom Smythe once again. Sweet Tom. He always knew how I have my coffee. Tench would have no idea! I wish I could see Tom right now and tell him everything, but I’m not going to see him for another month. I need to find a way to see him again. The tears stream down my face and my breathing stutters as I inhale. First things first… I need to find out why Tench has taken my phone. It’s not like I was going anywhere anyway. He owns me… like some kind of exotic animal for the next month. This is the first time I actually feel like someone’s whore when I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because Tench is treating me like a whore? With the other clients I always feel like I’m the one in control… not with Tench.

  “So do you know where Joe is Mrs Oktar?” I try and distract my thoughts and the yearning for Tom Smythe by focusing on the subject at hand… finding Tench and my phone!

  “I would say he’s in his office Miss Miranda. He spends a lot of time in there lately.” I caress my latte in both hands and try to calm down after my rant.

  Tench’s office is located on the second floor in the northern wing of the mansion. I pause in front of the doorway at the end of the hall for a moment so as to try and hear his voice from within the room. This is becoming a habit in this place. With that thought, I decide to just knock and hope for the best.

  “Door’s open…” I hear Tench call out in a kindly manner.

  I hold my breath and push down on the brass handle and open the door enough to poke my head into the room to make sure Tench knows it’s me. The room is spectacular. The opulence of the office space puts even Tony Montana to shame. Rich wood panels line the walls and the room itself has a second mezzanine level where wrought iron balustrades on either side imprison a full library of books. A medieval-style chandelier hangs between the levels and below it, sits a heavy dark mahogany desk. Two high-backed tub chairs with a beautiful brass-coloured guild pattern on them, sit facing the desk. Tench is standing in front of a tropical fish tank on the left wall that stands higher than he does. Two small black-tip reef sharks circle a mass of living coral in the centre of the vast tank. Tench drops in chunky flakes that don’t look like your normal kind of fish food. The chunks zigzag their way to the bottom, leaving a reddish trail behind them as they sink.

  “That’s very ‘Dr Evil’ of you Joe.” I say as he looks up at me and smiles.

  “I’m pleased to see that you have recovered Miranda.” His blatant arrogance about the whole situation annoys me, but I try and keep my emotions in check.

  Those emotions mind you, are still wavering between breaking down into a foetal position on the floor or shredding the velvet curtains with a kitchen knife.

  “Come in and meet Bruce and Betty. Did you get back in touch with Miss Stephanie?”

  “Yes I did.”

  I fully enter the room and make my way over to Tench, feeling a little more at ease now that I know his mood is jovial. I contemplate whether I should tell Tench about my concern for Sally, but instinctively decide against it until I find out what she wanted to tell me about him. Tench plops in the last of the fleshy chunks and turns towards me. He pulls me towards him and wraps his arm around my body. I look up to him to try and find some answers in his eyes, but his hollow stare and trite smile give me nothing. His thumb and index finger grip around the bottom of my chin and he holds my face in front of his. He lightly brushes the corner of my lips with his lips. He slowly makes his way to the centre of my lips with a trail of tender bounces. His full lips softly push against mine and this tongue gently licks the outside of my lips until a shot of electricity pierces my body and I am drawn back to a yearning for Tench that is consequently unwelcomed at this point. I cautiously test my desires for him and reciprocate the kiss. His strong touch around me feels assuring, the polar opposite to his forceful hands this morning. The actions of the morning still have enough of an impact on me that I find it difficult to fully enjoy the moment. Tench pulls back and I open my eyes before Tench and see that he is slowly opening his eyes, a dreamy smile upon his face.

  “So tell me gorgeous… What have you come to see me about?” Tench directs me towards the chairs and motions for me to take a seat.

  I watch Tench casually stroll back around to the other side of the desk. My eyes stop following Tench when I catch sight of my phone sitting opposite me on his desk. Again my emotions have switched back to seething. I can feel my earlobes burning from the rising anger. Keep your cool girly! You can do this… poise… poise! Tench looks down at my phone when he notices my fixated stare.

  “Ah… So you’ve noticed that I have taken your phone for you then?” I remain hesitant to engage in this conversation with Tench, “I guess you can call it my insurance. While you’re here you won’t be needing this, so I’ll be keeping hold of it for you.”

  Tench slides my phone into a desk draw. I watch his hands with intent and then lock eyes with him when my phone, full of important and private information, is out of my sight and reach. I feel vulnerable, but I try my best to keep my poker face on.

  “I have no intention of going anywhere Joe. I’m yours for as long as you pay me to be so.” I aim to sound as harsh as possible.

  If he wants to remind me that I’m nothing but his whore, then I’m going to act like his whore.

  The phone on the desk startlingly interrupts the uncomfortable silence between Tench and I. Tench reacts quickly and snatches the phone up from it’s place of rest.

  “Yes.” He barks into the receiver.

  A moment passes and he barks once again,

  “Put her through.” He holds the phone out towards me for me to take, “It’s for you. It’s your Agency.”

  I cautiously take the phone from him, frightened by the look in his eye. I frown and shake my head to show him that I know as much as he does about what the call may be for. Tench looks unconvinced that I haven’t divulged our secret to my madam, so I shrug my shoulders and hold my free palm outwards to further show him that I have done nothing wrong.

  “Hello.” I say into the receiver, my eyes not leaving Tench.

  “Hello Miranda. It’s Miss Stephanie. We need you to come into the Agency ASAP. There are some detectives here that need to speak with you. I’m sending Ben around to collect you now.” Miss Stephanie does not mince her words. I gasp with utter shock of the news. A flood of different reasons for my immediate return to the Agency flashes before my eyes.

  “What is this about? Is it Sally? It’s Sally isn’t it? What has she done? Is she okay? Tell me now!” I begin to sound frantic.

  “You will be told everything as soon as you get here Miranda.” Miss Stephanie coolly replies. Tench is still staring at me with a look of concern.

  “What is it Miranda?” Tench asks. I hold the phone receiver to my chest to speak to Tench.

  “Something has happened at the Agency and they nee
d me back there ASAP.”