by Carina Adams
Cris! I sat upright, searching for my phone. I groaned, remembering I hadn’t charged it last night, as I crawled out of bed and searched through my pockets. Teagan had called me a few times and sent me a text checking to make sure I was ok. I smiled, typing a quick response and promising I’d call her later. The fact that I didn’t have any missed calls and no texts from Cris surprised me. It was almost noon. I expected no less than ten angry messages from her.
As if on que, the cell vibrated in my hand. Glancing down, I realized that it was from the last person I expected.
Will: Hey! Just checking to make sure you made it ok. I know you’re busy & I’m on my way out so I can’t chat. Remember my parents have the kids tonight so you’ll have to call them to say nite. Good luck apartment hunting
I smiled and typed a quick reply to let him know I was safe and sound, and that I did remember his parents had the kids. He and his girlfriend were going away for the weekend, and even though I volunteered to stay an extra few days at the house, his parents were back in town and wanted the time with them. Things with Will and me were good—not great, but definitely good. We talked more now than when we were married and seemed to understand each other better than we had in years. For the first time, we were actually co-parenting our children. Plus, he genuinely supported my move and wanted to help any way he could. I knew most of his behavior was being driven by guilt, but at least he was trying.
If only everyone else were on board.
Pushing myself up off the floor, I dialed Cris, annoyed when it went right to voicemail. Maybe she was pissed I hadn’t called. I needed caffeine and then I’d try again. Worst case scenario, I’d take a cab around town to try and find a job, and maybe Rocker would let me stay one more night. I climbed the stairs groggily.
“What in the hell didchya do to your hair?” Cris shrieked at me as I rounded the corner on the top floor. Crissia, pronounced Ca-riss-ah, Murphy was almost the twin image of her big brother, with Greek God looks that I’d come to envy—long, curly dark brown hair, defined cheekbones, and bright blues that seemed like they could see into your soul. Those eyes were now glaring at me as she sat across the table from Rocker, coffee cup in hand, completely appalled. “You ruined it!”
I laughed as I took a seat between them. “You don’t like it? Teagan’s girls have decided that they want to be hairstylists, so I let them practice on me. You’re the one that’s always telling me to try something different.”
“No, I don’t like it! It looks like your hair has gone manic and can’t make up its mind which color it wants to be.” I only laughed more at the way she waved her hands through the air obnoxiously.
Rocker reached over, gave me a wink, and tugged on a chunky blonde piece. “I like it. It fits her.”
“Yeah, only ‘cause its crazy hair and she’s fuckin’ nuts.” Rocker shook his head, chuckling, and stood. Cris gave me a killer smile that reminded me so much of her bother. “It’s about time you dragged your lazy ass outta bed.”
I stifled a yawn. “I was exhausted. Sorry.”
She smirked. “I knew where to find ya.”
“When do we meet your friend? I just need to take a quick shower and then I’m good to go.”
Cris shook her head at me. “We don’t. I already found you a place.”
“What? Really? But, I didn’t look at any apartments yet.”
“This place is perfect, trust me. Cheap rent, nice neighbahhood, secure building, furnished, and no bugs.” She held up her hand, lifting a finger as she checked off every one of the requirements I had. “All the stuff you listed. I figured you’d rather spend your time trying to find a job.”
“Thanks?” I wasn’t sure if I should be grateful or not. Knowing Cris, I should be terrified. “When can I see it?”
Rocker sat down again, sliding a mug of coffee in front of me. “You’re in it.”
My mouth fell open. “Here? I can’t live here!” I looked from Cris, to Rob, and back again. They were obviously being assholes. “You’re kidding, right? Nice try, guys.”
Cris watched me closely for a minute before she spoke. “I’m serious, Joey. Why can’t you live here?”
All words left my mind. She knew why I couldn’t live here, why it wasn’t even close to being an option. Before I could form an answer, Rob added his two cents.
“He’s nevah heah, L.K.” He paused, straightening in the chair, his face taking on a serious expression. “I know that’s why you wanna say no, but he is never fuckin’ here. And even if he was, you two aah gonna have to face each other at some point and figure out whatevah you two have goin’ on. There’s plenty of room for both of you. I’m lonely as fuck heah by myself. You wouldn’t haveta be alone, I wouldn’t haveta alone.” I stared at my coffee while I let his words settle, realizing that he had some really good points. He was smiling at me when I looked up. “Definitely no bugs.”
“Where would I sleep? I can’t stay in Matty’s room…”
“Cris wants to remodel the spare room for ya. When your kids come visit, you can have the living room or they can bunk in Sam’s room.” I could feel my resolve slipping away. I loved this place and all its charm, and it would be nice to have a home that I knew was safe as well as a roommate I trusted. I could see me spending hours on the deck, studying in the sun or just enjoying the view. I had desperately wanted to prove to everyone, myself included, that I could move to a new place and start over, and that I could do it myself. I needed to figure out if living here would be taking the easy way out or if it would be a blessing in disguise.
“How much is rent?” Rocker gave me one of his condescending looks, as if to say ‘like I’m going to charge you rent.’ I stared him down, daring him to say the words out loud and give me a reason to say no.
He tipped his head and then gave me a smile. “$500 a month—everything included but food.” We both knew that number was way too low. I didn’t know for sure, but I assumed his mortgage to Matty was at least four times that. Add in all the other expenses, and I’m sure five hundred dollars wasn’t anything compared to what he paid out monthly. On the other side of the spectrum, with my savings and the money from my student loans, I could pay that much and still have a little extra left over for my bills and the kids. Once I found a part time job, I’d definitely be ok. It would be nice not to have to be a starving college student again.
“Ok. Get me a lease agreement and I’ll sign it, Roomie.” Rob only gave me a nod, but Cris clapped annoyingly in excitement.
“Yay! I’ve been dying to do something to that room for years.” I rolled my eyes. Cris’s style wasn’t anything close to mine, and I dreaded what it might look like. “We can go look at paint samples and new furniture today. It’s a huge room once we take out one of the beds and with the right colors, we can make it look even bigger. The bathroom needs to be completely redone, too. Less frat boy and more relaxing day at the spa…” she trailed off, lost in her thoughts.
I glanced over at Rocker. “I’ll move my stuff up when we get back.”
“Stay in Matty’s room until after yours is finished.” His tone left no room for arguments. “The guys will be gone before you know it, and then you two can make all the changes you want.”
“Guys? They’re still here? I thought they were crashing last night because we got back so late.”
Rocker shook his head. “No. They’re heah for the weekend.” He stood, grabbing his cup. “I’ll get a rental agreement printed today. In the meantime, make yourself at home. Try not to max out that card, Princess.” He walked into the hallway, headed downstairs. “See ya later, Roomie!”
Cris held up a credit card and gave me her boxer dropping smile, the one that I had no doubt could bring any man to his knees. “Let’s go shopping!”
*****
The day had been crazy. Cris dragged me from store to store, grabbing samples of paint, looking through special order catalogs for linens, and taking pictures of furniture with her phone. I was relieved when I r
ealized that she was going for comfortable, coastal cottage chic—a style, she claimed, that was perfect for me. Even more surprising was that she had some great ideas. My favorite was hanging antique shutters on the walls to give the impression of windows. I was excited to start the renovation.
We’d gotten back late that afternoon and she’d run off. I wasn’t sure if she was avoiding Rocker or if she really had somewhere to be, but it seemed like a combination of both. I changed into Matty’s tee shirt and a pair of shorts, called my kids and talked until they had to go, and then flopped on the couch to study.
Rocker strolled in a while later, and after I signed the lease, he declared it a lazy night. He changed into basketball shorts and an old beat up tee, ordered takeout for us, and settled into the other end of the sofa to watch a movie. It was relaxing and comfortable, and I felt like we’d been friends for years.
I barely looked up from my textbook when the elevator pinged in arrival, and when I saw Hawk I assumed he’d come back from wherever he’d been.
“Don’t you think you two should change?” he asked, as if the fact that we were lying around in comfy clothes was a crime. He’d leaned back against the counter wearing almost the same thing he had on last night—jeans, a gray tee shirt under a flannel, and his Bastards jacket. “They’re gonna be heah any minute.”
Rocker tensed at his words and snapped the television off as he moved his feet from the coffee table to the floor. “I told you to move the fuckin’ thing to Tiny’s.”
Hawk pushed away from the counter, standing to his full height. “You didn’t tell me to move shit or I would have.”
Rocker swore. “I told Dean to do it, and to tell you.”
Hawk looked pissed. “Yeah, well he didn’t. I just talked to Tiny and almost everyone is on their way heah.” His eyes moved to mine. “It’s too late to cancel now.”
I cleared my throat. “You don’t have to change your plans just because I’m here. I can go study in my room. It’s no big deal, really.”
Rocker turned to me, agitation evident in his movements. “That’s not it… It’s not yoah kinda pahty, L.K.”
“What kind of party is it?” I was trying not to laugh at their somber looks. They both answered at the same time.
“A welcome home party,” Hawk informed me.
“A release pahty.” Rob’s eyes searched mine. “Tank was released early at the beginning of the week. Good behaviah or some shit. He got back in town today.” Oh. As in released from jail, welcome back to real life party. I could only imagine why these two thought it wasn’t my scene, and I didn’t want to stick around to prove them wrong.
I stood, gathering the takeout containers, and offered them both a smile. “Let me grab a drink and then I’ll hide in my room.” I tapped Rob’s knee on the way by. “You should go change.”
The tension between the two was obvious, but they apparently weren’t going to talk until I was out of earshot. I hurried around the counter, opening the fridge and stacking our leftovers on a shelf before grabbing a bottle of water. I was closing the door when I felt someone come up behind me.
“Joes?” The voice was full of disbelief.
My heart hammered against my chest and I forgot to breathe. I turned slowly, taking in every detail I could. I hadn’t seen him in weeks, and somehow he was even more beautiful than he had been, edgier than I remembered. Even though I’d stared at his picture and memorized every line of his face, now that he was here in front of me, I couldn’t look away. Dressed in faded blue jeans that clung to his waist and made his legs look longer than they were and a navy shirt under his leather cut, he was every bit the bad ass biker I tended to forget he was. His dark hair was shorter than I’d seen it in years, styled in a mess that made me want to grab ahold and let him take me for a ride. He hadn’t shaved in a while and a thick layer of hair ran along the sides of his square jawbone, down his chin, and under his bottom lip. Full black eyebrows wrinkled at me over bright blue eyes as he watched me study him.
“Jesus, you look good.” I felt my eyes widen at my confession, barely resisting the urge to roll them when he chuckled. I seriously had no filter where this man was concerned.
“I was thinking the same thing about you.” He gave me that signature smirk of his before biting his bottom lip as his eyes trailed over me. “What is it with you and my shirts?” I swallowed, remembering the last time he’d caught me wearing one, and a warmth began to grow deep in my core. He gave me a smile but couldn’t mask the confusion etched on his face as he stepped closer. “What are you…?”
The elevator ping interrupted his question and the silence that had surrounded us was filled with loud voices and laughter. I glanced to my left, surprised that Rocker and Hawk were still there, watching us cautiously. I’d forgotten all about them as soon as I’d seen Matty. Turning back to him, I was about to explain that I needed to talk to him when my thoughts were interrupted.
“There you are! I waited, but you didn’t come back!” The voice was soft and silky, and as the owner moved in next to Matty, hand resting on his arm, I could see the fake pout. His eyes never left me, indecision crossing his features as I watched them together. Every insecurity I had came flooding forward. My thoughts betrayed me as I wondered if she was the one—the woman that would be keeping his bed warm because I was a stubborn idiot.
I couldn’t meet his eyes, not when it felt like he could see straight through me. Instead, I turned my attention to her. Of course she would be a tall, leggy, beautiful blonde that was totally rocking her mini skirt, black halter cut low to show perfect breasts, and stilettos that I couldn’t even begin to walk in. I suddenly felt extremely underdressed and was very aware of every single ounce I’d gained over the winter. She caught me staring and gave me a smile that could light up any room. “Hi.” She held out a hand. “I’m…”
“Well, faahk me!” Tiny shoved himself between Matty and Legs, staring at me as he dropped a giant keg on the counter and then lifting me up into his arms. “It’s about faahking time you came back!” I smiled at his excitement, hugging him back. At least Tiny was always happy to see me. He let me go but didn’t release me completely, keeping an arm around me as he pulled me from the kitchen to the other side of the island, asking questions about my kids and life in general until Rocker interrupted him.
“L.K., this is Jessie.” Rocker smiled warmly at the blonde without giving an explanation of who she was. “Jess, this is L.K., my roommate.” I offered her a small smile and then gave my full attention to Rob, hoping he’d be able to rescue me from this awkward moment. As if reading my thoughts, he moved his hand to the small of my back and leaned in close to my ear. “We should go change.”
It was a simple, supportive gesture, and I sighed in relief. It meant the world to me that he was trying help. I could hear men talking behind me and the clink of bottles as they got ready for the party. I knew we needed to get downstairs before anyone else showed up. I glanced up at Matty, intending to say goodbye, but the look on his face made my breath catch. The easygoing smile he’d worn earlier was gone, and he was clenching his teeth so tightly that the muscles in his jaw were ticking as he glared at Rocker. I half-expected Rocker to move away. Instead, he held Matty’s angry stare. For a few uncomfortable minutes, I watched the two of them have a silent conversation.
Finally, Hawk broke the silence. “Everyone will be heah before w…”
“He’s right,” Matty interrupted, looking at me. “We’ll have plenty of time to catch up in the morning, L.K.” He practically spit out my new name.
Rob moved then, practically pushing me out of the kitchen and down the stairs in front of him before I could hear if anyone responded.
Matty’s never here my ass.
Chapter 7
Jo
“Where in the hell am I supposed to sleep now?” I seethed at Rocker once we were downstairs. “I can’t stay in Sam’s room either!” There was no telling how thin the walls were. I knew first hand just how lo
ud Matty was during sex, and I would not spend the night listening to the two of them. No fucking way. I fought the tears I knew were coming, pissed at myself for insisting Matty move on and heartbroken that he had. I paced the hallway. I needed to leave. There was no way I could face them in the morning. I knew the train didn’t run this late, but maybe Teagan would drive down to get me. She wouldn’t get here for hours, though. I turned back to Rob, desperation filling my voice. “Will you take me home?”
He gave me a sympathetic look, but crossed his tree trunk arms over his thick chest. “You are home, Joey. You signed the lease and wrote me a check earlier. Remember?”
“Well, tear them both up and we’ll forget all about this shit show!”
“No.”
“No?” I was practically screaming, my voice getting louder with each word, not caring if they heard me upstairs. “You,” I jammed a finger into his chest above his folded arms, “told me he was never here. YOU told me he’d never had anyone else in that room.”
“Jesus, you two are frustratin’ as hell. Don’t you ever talk?”
“Yes!” I snapped back, suddenly pissed off at the world. I had told myself that I would be fine without Matty, repeating it hundreds of times since we’d broken up. But, the last few weeks had put a glimmer of hope back in my heart. Even though I’d told him to move on, I had clung to that little sliver, believing that one day we’d find our way back to each other. I was such a moron. I didn’t fight the tears. Instead, I sank to the floor and let them flow.
Rob leaned back and watched me cry it out, shaking his head a time or two. When the tears had dried, he reached down, offered me a hand, and pulled me up. Without saying a word, he led the way into his room. It was very similar to Matty’s, with two large windows and a giant marble fireplace. Instead of hardwood, though, there was a thick plush rug that my feet happily sunk into. The room was practically bare. Two rocking chairs sat by the windows and one bedside table flanked the giant bed. It was immaculate, no clothes on the chairs or glasses on the table. I wondered if Rob was a neat freak. My favorite thing about this room, though, was that once the door shut, every noise from the rest of the house vanished.