by Carina Adams
He took one look at my tear-stained face and rolled his eyes. “I have nevah seen two people jump to conclusions like the two of you.” Shaking his head, he gave me an annoyed look. “L.K., you really need to talk to Matt and figure this shit out.”
Rob was right, of course. I knew that Matty and I would have to talk in the morning. I didn’t want my new roommate to be angry with me on our first night, though, and changed the subject. “I’m sorry you’re missing your party.”
“I’m not. It’s not my party and I told Dean to move it because I’m fuckin’ beat. It’ll go half the fuckin’ night. I’m too old for that shit.”
“Tank won’t be upset?
“Naw. I saw him today. He gets it.” He smirked, as if he was trying not to laugh at a private joke. “He won’t be there long, anyway. As soon as he see his ol’ lady, he’ll forget the rest of us and go make up for lost time.” I didn’t know a thing about Tank or why he’d been in jail. This was that line, the one that Matty had drawn a long time ago, trying to separate me from this part of his life. The idea made me sad.
“Why was he in jail?”
Deep blue eyes met mine. “Prison, Joey. He was in prison.” I didn’t know there was a difference, and Rob must have seen the confusion on my face. “Prison is jail for big boys.” He smirked. “How can I explain it?” He paused, frowning. “You get bagged doing somethin’ stupid, like driving drunk, and the cops throw you in jail until you can get bailed out or until you go to trial. Prison is serious shit. Think maximum security, convicted killers that would like nothin’ more than to shank you in your sleep, or beat you until you ahh bloody if you piss ‘em off, or just ‘cause they don’t like the color of your skin. And guahds don’t really protect you unless they have a monetary reason to do so. Jail’s a fuckin’ joke, L.K. But prison, well, release is somethin’ to celebrate.”
“Oh.” I looked away, swallowing. “Have you ever… I mean, you sound like you know the difference first hand.”
“Are you askin’ me if I’m a convicted felon?” I nodded, not really sure I wanted the answer. “I am. I’ve been to both, lived inside both, and probably will see the inside of both again.”
My mind went into overdrive. I couldn’t imagine the Rocker I knew doing anything that would land him in prison. I debated with myself all of two seconds before I asked, “What did you do? I mean, to get sent to prison?”
He didn’t blink. Didn’t hesitate. “Felony assault. It would have been voluntary manslaughter, because I meant to kill the prick, but the DA plead me down.” Meant to kill him. Had he killed someone? My mouth went dry.
“Matty didn’t tell you any of this?” I shook my head. He shifted, eyes surveying me as if he wasn’t sure he should tell me more or not. “How much do you know about the Bastards?”
“Not much, really. I didn’t even know Matty was part of anything like it until I came down that weekend last July. Ian,” I smiled thinking of the kid that had made such an impression on me, “explained the back of the jackets. He said you protect the innocent, but that’s all he’d say.”
“Itus.” I nodded. He sighed, a long painful sound, and rubbed his forehead. He looked up, meeting my eyes, an internal struggle clear on his face as if he was trying to decide if he should tell me more. “Matty…”
He was cut off by a loud banging on the door. I turned, amazed to see the wood shake on the hinges. “Speaka the devil,” he said, his voice full of humor.
Matty
I knew I sounded like a mad man trying to beat down the door, but I didn’t give a flying fuck. I’d checked my room first, just to make sure, but I’d known she wouldn’t be there. I could barely breathe as I walked to his door, half tempted to just burst in. If the door was locked though, I knew I’d lose it and break the fucking thing down. Telling myself there was a perfectly logical explanation for Jo to be in Rocker’s room, I lifted a fist and hit the door.
The last twenty minutes filtered through my mind while I waited for someone to open the damn door.
I had clenched my fists as I watched them rush down here, using every ounce of self-restraint I had not to follow them. Jo had been the last person I expected to see tonight, and by the look on her face, she hadn’t planned on seeing me either. I stood there like a fucking idiot while she smiled up at him the way she used to look at me. I didn’t know why she was here, or why Rob was in such a hurry to get her downstairs, but I had a few ideas.
I glared at Hawk, clenching my teeth so I didn’t say something I’d regret. He met my stare, only raising an eyebrow. I wanted to demand he tell me what he knew, but Jessie picked that moment to lean on the island next to me.
“That didn’t go quite like I’d pictured.” She looked from me to Hawk, oblivious to the tension, and sighed. “I’m missing something, right? Is L.K. his girlfriend, and he’s trying to spare my feelings by saying she’s his roommate? I mean, none of my roommates ever looked at me like that.” She shrugged. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come.”
I laid a hand on the counter, fighting my anger. If Jess had picked up on it, too, then I wasn’t imagining it. The only thing keeping me from running down the stairs and beating Rocker into oblivion was the fact that Tank would be here soon. “Tonight is about your brother. I thought you wanted to be here for him.”
She laughed bitterly. “You know damn well I didn’t dress like this for Tank.” She rolled her eyes. “You can tell me, you know. I’m a big girl.” She licked her lips. When neither of us responded, she tried again. “It’s not like I’m just some piece of ass that comes to these things hoping to get one of you to notice me. I’m as much of a Bastard as either of you.” I couldn’t argue with that. She might not ride with us or wear the jacket, but Jessie was one of us. “I know who he is and don’t expect more than what he’s willing to give.” She looked into the living room, watching as the prospects set up a makeshift bar. “He’s been so distant lately, pulling away again.” She shrugged, turning back. “I get it. She’s very distracting.”
Hawk looked uncomfortable as he stared down at the counter, but shook his head. “You’re readin’ way too much into it.” He moved his head, looking at me. “They’re friends. L.K. needed a place to stay, and there’s room heah. It made sense.”
“Ahh. She’s one of his rescues. What’s she running from?”
Hawk shifted his weight, eyes still staring at me, and waited for me to answer. I had nothing to offer because the answer was me. She was running from me. We’d had that fucking fight, and I’d never called back, even after she’d apologized. I just didn’t expect her to run straight to Rob. He was the last person I thought would ever catch her. Fuck them both.
Realizing I was going to stay quiet, he finally answered. “Nothin’ that I know of. She’s friends with Cris and goes to BC. Seriously, they’re just roommates.”
Jess snorted. “Of course it’s linked to Cris. I wonder how she feels about the way he looks at her friend and how much longer they’ll stay buddies when she realizes there’s a fox in her cock-house.”
It was no secret that Jessie and my sister hated each other, and under normal circumstances, I would have commented, but right now all I cared about was finding out more. “BC? For grad school?” He nodded. No fucking way. She’d done it. I was so fucking proud of her. We’d talked about her going back to school, but she was so sure she’d never get in. BC had a tough grad program and admission was wicked selective. I couldn’t understand why she hadn’t told me. Big news like that I would have shouted from the rooftops. Then my mind shifted. How long had she known and kept me in the dark? “When did she move in?”
Hawk looked uncomfortable again and glanced over his shoulder. Walking to the table, he grabbed a bottle of Jack and a poured three shots before coming back to the island. He handed Jessie one and me the other before raising it in the air in silent salute and then downing it. He waited for me to swallow mine before answering. “Last night.” Glancing at Jess out of the corner of his eye, he grimaced. “We
brought her home with us last night.”
My mind raced. Jo was at Hooligan’s last night—she’d asked me to meet her there. I couldn’t because I was on my way back from Pine Knot, Kentucky. The Bastards had wanted to greet Tank in style so I took vacation time and a bunch of us rode down on Wednesday to bring him home from McCreary Penitentiary. There’d been nothing to do for thousands of miles but replay the last conversation I’d had with Jo. She wanted answers from me, so many more than I could give. I wasn’t ready to have her walk away forever yet, and would do anything to keep my secrets a little while longer. I had planned to call her, to try and figure out the shit that was dragging us down, but I couldn’t just pull out a cellphone and talk while on the back of a bike. When we stopped for the night, there was no privacy to have the kind of talk we needed to have.
They must have found her at Fred’s. I slammed the glass down, startling Jess, as memories of the last time I was there with Jo filtered through my mind. She was a fucking mess when she was drunk. I should be relieved that it was Rob that found her like that and not some stranger, especially since she was there because of me. Instead, all I could imagine was her coming onto him the way she had me. She’d torn off her clothes, showing me just how beautiful her body was, and demanded me to sleep with her. She was so sexy I couldn’t have said no if I’d wanted to. Would Rob have been able to deny her?
Hawk tipped the bottle into my glass, filling it again while Jess watched us, scowling in confusion. I needed to calm down and get a fucking grip. I downed the shot in one gulp, feeling it burn. A ping announced the elevator’s arrival and suddenly the room was filled with a roar of voices. I didn’t care. Were the two of them downstairs screwing right now? Was she showing him how wild and crazy she was? Was he enjoying taking what was mine?
I’d kill him. Best friend or not, I would murder him with my bare hands. The two of us had scuffled a few times over the years, and each time it’d been an even fight. But this time, he didn’t stand a chance. I’d fucking destroy him. I turned, fists clenched, and stomped across the room and down the stairs, only one thought in my mind.
If he had touched Joes, I would decimate him.
Chapter 8
Matty
Rocker's face was the first thing I saw as he pulled open the door and leaned onto the frame, blocking my view of the room. “Hey,” he said calmly. “Everything ok?”
My entire body was on alert, as if recognizing a threat, and my fists ached to knock that smug look off his face. Rocker never missed a thing. I knew he saw my reaction. He didn’t bite, instead, he reached a hand up to scratch his head lazily. The movement gave me just enough of a view to see Joes. She was leaning against the bed, fully clothed. The sight made me relax as I met her eyes. “It is now.”
“What are you doing in here?” I knew I sounded like a prick, but I couldn’t help it. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she shook her head at my question, as if to say ‘it’s none of your fucking business.’ Without waiting for an invitation, I shoved past Rob, striding towards her. She didn’t move, and as I reached her, my hands circled around her, yanking her into me, and claiming that sassy mouth of hers.
It wasn’t one of the gentle sweet kisses that she loved, it was rough and full of emotion. After a few seconds, I felt her lose control as she tangled her hands in my hair and moan into me. There wasn’t anything sexier than her reactions when I kissed her. I pulled away, my teeth tugging at her bottom lip. Jesus I wanted her. Instead of tossing her onto the bed and proving to her just how much I missed her, I ran my hands down her arms and twined my fingers with hers.
“Wanna go get coffee?”
She arched a perfectly groomed eyebrow and then glanced down at her wrinkled tee shirt, shorts, and bare feet. “Can’t we have coffee here?”
I shook my head. “There’s a lot of people here, and we need to talk.”
Rocker cleared his throat, reminding us that we definitely weren’t alone yet. “No one will bother you in heah.”
I snapped around, glowering at him. “I don’t fuckin’ think so.” I wanted to get her as far away from him as I could. Turning back to Joes, I gave her the full once over, taking in her bare arms and legs. I thought about all the places in the apartment that we could go, but only one seemed feasible. She wasn’t dressed for it, but if I didn’t take the chance now, I might not get another.
I let go of her hands, grabbed her waist, and in one fluid movement, threw her over my shoulder. She didn’t fight me like I had assumed she would, and I couldn’t resist slapping her perfect round ass, making her yelp. Turning, not even glancing at Rocker, I carried her out of the room. As we made it to the end of the hall and turned up the stairs, I swore I could hear the prick laughing.
Unfortunately, there were people everywhere already. Bastards and half-dressed women spilled into the stairway and were scattered throughout the living room. A few spoke to me, but I only grunted responses when absolutely necessary. If anyone was surprised by the sight of me carrying a scantily clad woman around, no one said a word. Then again, they’d been to these parties before and had seen much worse.
I stopped by a couch long enough to grab a blanket—Jo would need one where we were going. Prying open the giant window with one hand, I stepped out into the night air and eased Joe to her feet. She looked around the fire escape, obviously surprised. We kept a wooden bench and table out here so people could take smoke breaks if they we were on this side of the house, and sometimes I came out here to clear my head. I closed the window behind me, muffling the music and noise from the party.
The temperature was warm for April, but there was a nip in the air. I shrugged off my jacket, holding it out to her just as a breeze blew across us and she shivered. “Here, put this on.” She laughed as she slipped it on and then held up the sleeves—it dwarfed her.
She walked to the bench and pulled her knees up to her chest as she sat. I couldn’t do anything but stare. The move made her look years younger and reminded me how much time we’d already lost. I opened the blanket, covering her, before dropping down beside her. “It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you.”
She nodded. “It has been.”
I slipped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. I stared at the skyline, not sure what to say, not sure how we got so screwed up. Just last year we’d been inseparable, together whenever we could find the time. So much had changed since then, and I missed her more than words could explain. I reached out, brushing a few flyaway strands of bright pink behind her ear. “This is new.”
She gave me a tight smile. “Yep. I needed a change, something that wasn’t…”
“Expected,” I interrupted, nodding. “Something different, something you never would have done before, right?” She didn’t have to answer because I knew that was exactly why she’d done it. “You always said you wanted pink and blue hair,” I chuckled, remembering all the times she told me she was going to shave her head and dye it blue. “If I’d known it would look so fucking hot, I would’ve begged you to dye it months ago.”
She laughed and smiled in that slow sexy way I adored. My dick hardened in response. “Well, thank you. But, I’m dying it back to the mundane brown tomorrow.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m too old to pull it off. I need to find a part-time job and I’m pretty sure this won’t help. And, Cris hates it.”
Her reasons surprised me. Jo’d never been one to care what other people thought. “You’re not too old, in fact, I think you rock it better than someone half your age could. It’s sexy as fuck on you. Any job where you can’t have your hair the color you want isn’t worth your time or energy. As for Cris, she really doesn’t like it?” Jo shook her head. “Wow. Seems like something she’d love. Didn’t she give you pink hair last year?”
“I know, right?” She giggled, rolling her eyes.
“Her opinion doesn’t matter. It isn’t like you’re gonna see her all the time.”
The smile di
sappeared, and, in seconds, my Joes was gone. She sighed, turning her head away from me, and I knew by the way her hands were fidgeting with the blanket that her mind was on overdrive. “I will see her all the time, Matty, because I live here now. I quit my job, enrolled in a grad program, and Rocker offered me the extra room so I could save on rent.” Her words came out in a hurried whisper, and she glanced at me, wringing her hands. “I was going to tell you a few weeks ago, really, but I just didn’t know how and now…”
“I know, Joes.” She looked terrified, and I reached for her, wanting to do anything to take that fear away.
“Wait.” She narrowed her eyes, pulling back from my touch. “What? How’d you know?”
I smirked at her tone. She was like a tidal wave of emotion—from worried to pissed in point five seconds flat. “I have my sources.”
“And you’re not angry?” Her cold tone sent off warning bells, and I needed to figure out a way to backtrack.
I didn’t answer right away. I wanted to be honest, but I didn’t want her to leave. “I’m irritated that you didn’t tell. I mean, fuck, we’ve been talking for weeks and there were plenty of times you could have. So, yeah, I’m pissed that you didn’t.” She watched me, eyes wary, and I rushed to finish. “But, I’m so fucking proud of you for getting accepted into BC. That’s a big fucking deal with some seriously tough competition. Good job, kid!”