L8r, G8r
Page 16
mad maddie:
thanx, a
mad maddie:
g’night.
Wed, Mar 15, 9:20 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
hey, zo. did you hear how jerky maddie’s parents r being?
SnowAngel:
are you there? or are you at doug’s?
SnowAngel:
if you’re at doug’s, you can STILL text me back, you know.
SnowAngel:
*shakes it off* tomorrow’s another day, full of fresh beginnings and root-beer-y goodness. bye!
Thu, Mar 16, 1:03 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
WHO won the chugging contest?
SnowAngel:
YOU did!
mad maddie:
and WHO won the victory lap belching contest?
SnowAngel:
YOU did!
mad maddie:
das rite, cuz i da king
SnowAngel:
i take it yr feeling better?
mad maddie:
well blow me down. reckon maybe i am.
SnowAngel:
hurray! and da crowd goes wild!!!!!
Thu, Mar 16, 4:19 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
i’ve come up with a plan to pay jana back for her slut-meister remark, hee hee hee.
mad maddie:
r you sure you want to keep going with this, a? you saw what she did to me when i didn’t let it go.
SnowAngel:
which is exactly why i REFUSE to let it go. i am NOT letting her feel all high and mighty, like we’re just going to roll over and play dead like that poor bird.
mad maddie:
ah, christ. what do you have up your sleeve?
SnowAngel:
not telling *hunches shoulders and rubs hands together like mad scientist*
mad maddie:
have you decided that you enjoy being devious, angela? are you gonna enter into a life of crime?
SnowAngel:
i dunno. think they have a “life of crime” major at UGA?
mad maddie:
yeah, it’s called poli-sci
SnowAngel:
was that some kind of political joke? cuz you know i don’t get political jokes.
mad maddie:
oh lordie
SnowAngel:
but since we’re talking about college … what about you and santa cruz? is your mom being more normal?
mad maddie:
i talked to zo during our free, and her theory is that the moms is scared to let me go. that the whole me-going-away-to-college thing is a big deal for her, and that’s why she’s being such a snot.
SnowAngel:
but you’re 18 years old, you have to live your life.
mad maddie:
i know, that’s what i said.
SnowAngel:
so yr gonna go to santa cruz? for sure?
mad maddie:
well, i haven’t sent in my “statement of intent to register,” but i will.
SnowAngel:
i’d have thought you would have mailed that baby back the second you got it.
mad maddie:
i have until may 1st
mad maddie:
when are you supposed to hear from georgia?
SnowAngel:
WE are supposed to hear from georgia by april 1st (you applied too, remember!)
SnowAngel:
zoe’s supposed to hear from kenyon and princeton around then too.
mad maddie:
i kinda wish it would just slow down, don’t you?
SnowAngel:
*faints dead away*
SnowAngel:
what happened to “hasta la vista, baby” and “i can’t wait to get out of this dump”?
mad maddie:
that’s all still true. that doesn’t mean it has to happen tomorrow.
SnowAngel:
omg, yr growing sentimental in your old age!
mad maddie:
what?! no i’m not.
SnowAngel:
wait till i tell zoe! you ARE gonna miss us, aren’t you?
mad maddie:
jesus, angela … more than you can possibly know.
SnowAngel:
*hold out arms* c’mere, ya goof!
mad maddie:
no thx
SnowAngel:
c’mere! *clasps maddie to chest and rocks back and forth*
mad maddie:
erm, i’m leaving now. i’m freeing myself from your clasp and leaving, k?
SnowAngel:
bye, you old darling! mwah!!!
Fri, Mar 17, 10:10 AM E.D.T.
zoegirl:
angela, i just saw maddie in the hall. she told me you’re starting the jana war again. i am *not* happy about this!
SnowAngel:
i’m downloading fake health service letterhead as we speak. but don’t worry, it’s “for entertainment purposes only.” *throws back head and laughs*
zoegirl:
angela, stop! this has gone on long enough!!!
SnowAngel:
oh piddle
SnowAngel:
don’t you wanna hear what i’m gonna do with this fake health service letterhead?
zoegirl:
NO. i’m serious, angela. what if peaches sees what you’re printing? you could get expelled!
SnowAngel:
peaches LUVS me. i can do anything i want, cuz i tell her how fabulous her book displays are.
SnowAngel:
and now, your attn plz. *clears throat and shakes out paper* “Dear Ms. Whitaker, It has come to our attention that an outbreak of gonorrhea has been traced to your recent sexual activity. Please call our clinic at your earliest convenience to discuss treatment options. You will also need to set up an apppointment with our on-site counselor, who can help you come up with an action plan to cut back on your slutty behavior. This is a matter of the utmost concern.”
zoegirl:
oh angela
SnowAngel:
i know!!! c’est magnifique!
zoegirl:
the health service would never use the word “slutty.” if anything, they’d say “promiscuous.”
SnowAngel:
ooo, thanks for the tip
zoegirl:
angela!
SnowAngel:
what? jana made a comment suggesting that i don’t “put out” enough. fine. i’m just suggesting that being a slut isn’t necessarily the way to go, either.
zoegirl:
please don’t send it to her. please?
SnowAngel:
who said anything about sending it to her? i’m gonna print up multiple copies and accidentally-on-purpose drop them in various school bathrooms.
SnowAngel:
it’s a hard job, but someone’s gotta do it!
Fri, Mar 17, 5:16 PM E.D.T.
mad maddie:
IT’S SPRING BREAK!!! WOOT!!!!!
zoegirl:
i feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders! except for the fact that i still have to go to tennessee with my parents, who are going to drive me insane. and except for the fact that yes, i saw angela’s health service handiwork, which means that everyone in the school saw, which means that jana once again is going to be on the warpath.
zoegirl:
but except for that, i feel so much better!
mad maddie:
let it go, baby. just let it all go.
zoegirl:
right, you’re so right. and as a reward for getting thru another tough week, i treated myself to big bunny episode #3.
mad maddie:
“as a reward for getting thru another tough week”? is that really how you operate?
zoegirl:
you say that as if it’s weird. do you think it’s weird?
mad maddie:
i just think you should give yourself rewards any time you feel like it.
zoegirl:
but t
hen they wouldn’t be rewards. they would just be … random good things.
mad maddie:
and the problem is …?
zoegirl:
you have your pop-tarts and dr pepper; i have my rewards. okay?
mad maddie:
whatevs
mad maddie:
so you saw that lulu DID bring big bunny a kitty, hmmm?
zoegirl:
yes. and when susie told lulu to take the kitty back, big bunny told that horrible story about “another” susie who sold herself to the devil and had a pet hell-hound.
mad maddie:
ah, yes. and then the faux susie repented at the last second and went to heaven. a classic morality tale.
zoegirl:
i do like ol’ susie
mad maddie:
cuz you have good taste. she is a prophet of the modern times.
zoegirl:
let’s do something tonight, want to? just you and me and angela, since we won’t see each other for a week. i might not even have a cell signal, because my grandparents live in the boonies!
mad maddie:
i think that’s a great idea. you sure doug won’t mind?
zoegirl:
don’t be silly. let’s meet at angela’s so we can play with the chicks. i’ll call and tell her we’re heading over!
Sat, Mar 18, 12:46 AM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
hello, hello, sleepy maddie! i know you’re awake! admit it!
mad maddie:
i’m poking around on pinterest before going to bed. pinterest is the devil, you know. do i *need* to know how to turn an ordinary can of V-8 juice into a charming and folksy lantern? no. do i suddenly feel an intense craving to turn an ordinary can of V-8 into a folksy lantern? yes.
SnowAngel:
do you have any cans of V-8 lying around?
mad maddie:
what are you, nuts? why wld i have cans of V-8 lying around?
SnowAngel:
as I suspected.
SnowAngel:
so, moving on, that was fun tonight, huh? i love you guys with every single bit of my heart, and sometimes i feel like we haven’t been making enough time for each other. i’m so glad zoe suggested it!
mad maddie:
did you like how it turned out that doug was out with HIS buds, and that’s why she was available all of a sudden?
SnowAngel:
i’m not gonna quibble. but yeah, i did notice when she let that slip.
SnowAngel:
oh well, we got to have her all to ourselves. that’s all that matters.
mad maddie:
you, me, zo, and the collective squishy.
SnowAngel:
speaking of … are you sure they can’t come live with you over break? pretty please with chicken feed on top?
mad maddie:
no can do, the moms has all these spring-cleaning plans that don’t involve 11 baby chicks.
SnowAngel:
well, have you called your brother yet to see if he and pelt-woman can take them?
mad maddie:
chill, i’ll call them in the morning. yr not leaving till sunday!
SnowAngel:
be sure to tell them how extremely cute and lovable they are! and how hugging a chicken is good for your soul!
mad maddie:
will do. catch ya on the flip side, homie!
Sat, Mar 18, 3:33 PM E.D.T.
SnowAngel:
uh oh
mad maddie:
uh oh, what-oh?
SnowAngel:
well …
SnowAngel:
i crashed the jeep
mad maddie:
WHAT?
SnowAngel:
but not bad! just a little! *holds thumb and forefinger verrrry close together*
mad maddie:
angela! u ok?
SnowAngel:
i’m fine, but before i go any further, you need to know that honestly, it wasn’t my fault. it was aunt sadie’s. she’s the one who ordered “The Firm.” “The Firm” is this set of exercise DVDs she’s been wanting, and it arrived today.
mad maddie:
what happened to pole-dancing? didn’t she just buy that ridiculous pole thing?
SnowAngel:
a girl needs variety in her exercise routine—that’s what she said. plus the pole was giving her bruises.
mad maddie:
ack, didn’t really wanna hear that
mad maddie:
so what does this have to do with crashing your jeep?
SnowAngel:
well, the mailman left aunt sadie’s package at the end of the driveway by the mailbox, which he shouldn’t have done. he’s supposed to bring it to the door.
SnowAngel:
omg, it’s the POSTMAN’S fault!
mad maddie:
dude. WHAT HAPPENED?!
SnowAngel:
so i was driving back from jamba juice, and there was aunt sadie’s package, just sitting by the side of the road. being the good niece that i am, i thought i’d bring it to the house.
SnowAngel:
so i opened the door of the jeep and leaned down to get it.
SnowAngel:
and …
SnowAngel:
well …
mad maddie:
yes?
SnowAngel:
i kinda fell out
mad maddie:
you “kinda” fell out?
SnowAngel:
ok, i DID fall out, the jeep is very high off the ground! you know that!
SnowAngel:
and it was still in gear, and of course aunt sadie’s driveway *wld* go downhill, so there i was sprawled on my butt while the jeep rolled along on its merry way!
mad maddie:
oh, angela
SnowAngel:
i was like, wait! come back!
mad maddie:
and …?
SnowAngel:
it ran into the garage door
SnowAngel:
it’s not TOO banged up, mainly just the fender. and there’s a big dent in the garage door. but logan is so pissed!
mad maddie:
why? it’s not HIS car.
SnowAngel:
he’s just … i dunno. he thinks i wasn’t being careful enough. i thought he would laugh when i told him—i honestly did—but he got all silent on the other end of the phone and then said, “see? this proves that you don’t care as much about me as i care about you.”
mad maddie:
cuz you wrecked the jeep?
SnowAngel:
i know!
mad maddie:
i mean, it’s true what he said, but that’s kinda a random connection to make.
SnowAngel:
i was like, “logan, this has nothing to DO with you!” it’s so exhausting, soothing his ego all the time.
SnowAngel:
anyway, he’s gonna take the jeep to this guy his uncle knows who does body work, which i do appreciate.
mad maddie:
unbelievable
SnowAngel:
i know, he’s taking offense over NOTHING
mad maddie:
no, unbelievable that he’s coming over, BAM, to fix the jeep for you.
mad maddie:
doesn’t that make you feel bad, angela? doesn’t it make you feel icky inside?
SnowAngel:
well …
SnowAngel:
hmmm. *gazes off with look of unresolved anguish*
mad maddie:
???
mad maddie:
what do YOU have to be anguished about?
SnowAngel:
logan’s part of this relationship too, you know. if he thinks i don’t care enough, then he should break up with me!
mad maddie:
have you told him that?
SnowAngel:
i scraped my knee on the driveway, i’ll have you know, i could have
lost a limb!
mad maddie:
good lord
SnowAngel:
yes, and yr being a big poopy pants for not being more sympathetic.
SnowAngel:
but lookie here, logan just pulled up—so i guess i’ll go to HIM for solace and comfort. at least he’ll give me the attention i deserve!
mad maddie:
and what will you give him?
SnowAngel:
i’ll give him … a great big hug!
SnowAngel: