Deepest Scars: A Being Me Stand-Alone Companion Novel

by Tricia Copeland

  I swipe the ball back. “That Brad dude could be a serial killer.”

  Stopping, she tosses the ball back to me. “Are you looking out for me? I’m a grown woman. I don’t need protecting.”

  “Sorry, instinct.” I shrug.

  As we approach John, she points to the court and heads there to warm up. I wait for John to finish talking to another player. “Hey, do you think you can switch Liz to my team? Say something about her being new and I invited her.”

  He elbows me and winks. “She’s cute, right?”

  I ignore his comment. “Thanks.” I jog to the stands and let my bag drop to the floor beside Liz. “Problem solved. Just watch your space.”

  “New girl safety talk?” Jeff asks.

  “Don’t hound me about it.” I take my ball and head to the court.

  “Hey, I was just razzing you,” Jeff says as he and Liz catch up with me.

  “Is there something I should know?” Liz’s eyes dart between Jeff and me.

  “My”—I swallow hard—“friend, crashed into another player and fractured her skull on the floor.” I glance over to gauge Liz’s reaction, and her eyes are wide as saucers. “Won’t get that memory out of my head ever.”

  We warm up and start our first game. Liz has good timing, and the team falls into sync in no time. Tonight is tournament night, and I start to think we might have a pretty good shot. Three hours later finds us in the number two seat in the final match.

  “We’re on fire. I can’t believe this.” Jeff gives me a high five. “She is good.” He points at Liz.

  “She is.” I nod and down a gulp of water.

  As we start, I notice Isabelle on the sidelines. We usually go for drinks after the game, and I wonder if Liz will join in. An hour later, we’re beat and sweaty and lose the match by two.

  “You’re hired.” Jeff points at Liz. “Hey, wanna come out with us?”

  Liz looks at her phone. “I have to be at work at six. Maybe another time.”

  Jeff glances at me and back to Liz. “Are you hiking with us Saturday?”

  I divert my gaze and pretend to be packing my stuff.

  “I think so,” she answers.

  “Okay, we’ll see you then.” Jeff waves at her.

  “Bye.” She grabs her bags and heads to the door.

  “Dude, what’s wrong? Don’t you like her?” Jeff hits me on the back.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, you gotta be fast. She’s not going to be single for long.”

  “She may not be single now.” I zip my bag and shoulder it, following him and Isabelle across the gym.

  “You don’t move across the country if you’re dating someone.”

  “Maybe.”

  He hits me on the chest. “Hey, maybe she’ll come on the Grand Canyon trip.”

  “Do you have to make such a big deal of this? We don’t even know if she’s nice.”

  Isabelle wraps her arm around Jeff. “She seems cool.”

  “Can we just get some food?” Entering the locker room, I slap the door frame.

  After showers, we decide on a restaurant and meet at the tables on the outside deck. The food is not amazing, but the hours work for us. I enjoy being outside as there aren’t many opportunities during the day, unless I want to be char-broiled.

  The next day, I sleep in and get in a long workout before heading to the stadium. I arrive early to study what I’ve missed the past four days. A hand lands on my back, and I spin to see Carlos standing in front of me.

  “You ready for the big party? Got a date lined up?

  “I didn’t think a date was required.”

  “No, it’s not, man.” He straddles the bench in front of me. “Eva’s got her eye on Mia for you. If you don’t think that’s gonna work, you might want to bring option B.”

  “Thanks for the heads-up. Let’s get you started.”

  I only have two shifts with the team this week, Thursday night and a Saturday afternoon game, so I pick up twelve hours on Friday. I get bored with too much time to kill anyway. Days off during the week when everyone else is working aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

  Liz’s car isn’t in the parking lot at Mayo. I admit to being a little interested in her, and wonder if it’s because we’re both new. A fresh slate with no other ties makes things cleaner. Grabbing a bagel in the cafeteria, I run into Lydia and Rose.

  “Hey there, Zack. How’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a while.” Lydia bats her eyes at me.

  “Yeah, I don’t work this hospital that much. The PTs don’t take many days off.”

  “Why don’t you get a more permanent position?”

  “You see one open?”

  “No.” She shakes her head. “Hey.” Sidling up to me, she looks down to the floor and then back to my face. “Everything good with us?”

  “Course, why wouldn’t it be?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe you don’t work here on purpose.”

  “Are you kidding? Gotta make my paycheck.” I hand the attendant my card for the bagel and coffee.

  “I hear that. You know, maybe we came on kind of strong before. You want to hang out sometime? We’re going to happy hour tonight.”

  “Man.” I fake being disappointed. “I have a game tomorrow I have to be sharp for.”

  “That’s right.” Rose points at me. “When are you going to invite us to a game?”

  “When I get a night off. I’ve got to get to work.” I smile and point to the therapy department, hoping I don’t have to make good on the promise.

  “That will be sweet,” Rose calls from behind me.

  I wonder if Liz said something to them because that is the first time they’d spoken to me since I turned them down the last time.

  “Hey, long time no see.” Mitchell greets me as I enter the PT room. “Saw Lydia and Rose already caught you.”

  “Yeah, they were nice. Not sure if I should be scared.” Throwing my bag under the desk, I log in to the patient system.

  “They came by here a couple days ago asking about you. I thought I texted you. Said something about getting off on the wrong foot.” He shakes his head. “Never seen them give second chances.”

  “You see them with the new redhead?”

  “Yeah, at lunch sometimes.”

  I look up from my computer monitor. “That’s Liz, she’s cool.”

  “So, are you and Liz hooking up?”

  “No, she just showed up at my hiking meetup.” I propel myself back on the roller chair. “I think I promised them some game tickets, would you be in?”

  “Sure, can I bring a date?”

  “I’ll have to see how many I can get.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” He lifts an electronic tablet from the desk and strides from the room.

  I do the same, reading through the doctor’s notes as I walk to my first patient’s room.

  Friday night, I turn in early for my marathon day Saturday. With our hike meetup, the early game, and two parties to attend, rest is imperative. I can’t believe my weekend got stacked with two parties on the same night. At least I won’t have to stay at either too long. I wonder if Jeff or Isabelle invited Liz. Only time will tell, I think as I pull into the gravel lot at ten till six for the hike.

  “There he is.” Jeff greets me with a handshake. “You’re a madman. I can’t believe you’re out here, have a game at one, and still plan on coming to our shindig. You are coming, right?”

  “I said yes. I do have this other thing I have to be at later, so I’ll probably head out by ten.”

  “What happened to you?” Jeff steps back. “Where’s my I’m-not-social man?”

  “All work and no play, you know.” I take a swig of my water and survey the crowd. Sam and Josie are chatting with Cody and Beth Anne. Celeste stands beside Isabelle yawning, and I approach them.

  “Hi, you made it.” I address Celeste.

  “Yeah, not sure this is for me. College try and all.”

  “It’
s a great group. You’ll love it. The view from the top does not disappoint,” Isabelle says to Celeste.

  “I still want to do it at sunset,” I tell Isabelle.

  “We should plan that. Hey, Jeff is going to get a list for the Grand Canyon trip at the end of this hike.”

  I rock on my heels. “I’m definitely in for that. It’s going to be epic.”

  The sound of tires crunching on the gravel catches my attention, and I turn to see Liz’s vehicle pulling into a spot. I’m dying to know whether she talked to Lydia and Rose about me but figure I shouldn’t abandon Celeste yet. I have a suspicion Celeste may be here because of me. I’m not sure know how I feel about that.

  Jeff calls the group together, and we start the hike. It’s a long ascent, and I fall in behind Celeste and Isabelle. Josie and Sam position themselves behind me and start a conversation. I’m there for the scenery and try to let their chatter become background noise. Eventually they grow winded or run out of things to talk about, and there is silence, save the scraping of our feet on the rock.

  In front of me, Celeste stops and moves off the trail. “Don’t worry about me.” She waves me on. “Keep going. I’m taking a short breather.” Sucking a long breath in, she glances up the trail.

  “We’re almost to the summit. It’s not far.” I point to the top.

  “That’s okay, you should go ahead.”

  “I’ll hang back with her.” I hear Isabelle behind me.

  I catch up with Jeff who usually takes the back position to corral stragglers.

  “Not sure hiking is going to be Celeste’s thing,” Jeff comments as I fall in step with him.

  We reach the summit, and the desert stretches out in front of us. As I take a gulp of water, I scan the group to find Liz. Dodging around the others, I make my way to her.

  “Hi.”

  She jumps and spins to face me. “Oh, hi. Great view. This is amazing.”

  “Yeah, this is the second time I’ve done this hike. The landscape still impresses me. I hear it’s great at sunset too.”

  “That would be something.” Liz nods.

  I clear my throat. “Hey, did you say something to Lydia about me?”

  Her eyes cut to me. “Maybe. You see her?”

  “Yeah, I worked a twelve yesterday.”

  A smile forms on her lips. “I may have checked your story out.”

  “Trying to find redeeming qualities in them or me?”

  She looks to the ground and then back to my face. “Neither. Maybe both. I told them I’d run into you a couple of times and you didn’t seem that bad. They started with the same line as before.”

  “How I was the devil incarnate?”

  She starts to laugh and covers her mouth. “Yeah, you know, being all negative, and saying how you acted too good to be around them. So, I pushed them, and they had to admit that you hadn’t really done anything wrong.”

  “That was nice of you. Thanks. You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I don’t like people getting a bad rap for no reason.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  On the descent, I follow her. But Josie and Sam trail me, and not wanting to be rude, I get sucked into their conversation. When we reach the bottom, Jeff calls the group together for announcements about the brunch location and meetup to plan the Grand Canyon trip.

  He asks for a show of hands of people who are tentatively in, and Liz raises hers. I’m happy she’s going and steal a look at her. When she catches me, I smile and then cut my eyes to the ground.

  “And who needs gear?” Jeff asks.

  Liz’s hand shoots up.

  “Who has extra gear?” Jeff continues.

  I inch my hand up, hoping I’m the only one, and thanking the stars I’d planned my brother’s bachelor camping trip last month.

  “Okay, Zack and Liz, get together. The rest of you I’ll see at brunch or Tuesday for the canyon planning meeting.”

  “I can’t go to brunch. I have work,” I tell Liz as she approaches. “What gear do you need?”

  “Everything.”

  “Okay, well, why don’t I bring my stuff to the meeting, and we’ll go from there?”

  “That would be nice. Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  “Okay, see you.” She spins towards her car.

  Walking to mine, I wonder again if she’d been invited to Jeff’s party. Then I realize I’d ignored Celeste for the last half of the hike. Not your problem, dude, I think.

  I head home to eat and shower. In an hour, I’m out the door. One o’clock games are always tricky with traffic, and I leave myself tons of time for the ten o’clock shift.

  “Oh, someone’s got a little spring in his step.” Carlos slaps me on the back as I make my way to my station in the PT room.

  “What? No, not me.”

  “Yeah, I think you do. You got a girl or something? You bringing a date tonight? Cause I got to prep Eva. She thinks she’s setting you up with Mia.”

  “No girl. No spring.”

  “Okay, well, we’ll try to fix that tonight then.” Carlos chuckles as he sits on the bench in front of me.

  “Why are you always giving me a hard time?”

  “Cause you usually look like a sad puppy.”

  “I do not.”

  “You do.” Juan agrees with Carlos. “You gonna have to get over that, cause only the big dogs are playing tonight.”

  “You know that’s right.” Carlos nods.

  I tape up Carlos and then Juan, Mario, and Dave. The team has been on a winning streak, and I hope it holds. Double headers are hard, and the D-backs win the first but then lose the second by one run. I know the players will be disappointed, but I doubt it will stop them from having a good time tonight.

  My guys are injury free, and I head home to shower and change. Jeff’s party starts at six, and with the double header, I’m two hours late. But they expect me to be, so it’s not a big deal. The door is open, and I make my way through the house to the deck. I see a couple of people I recognize from volleyball and the hiking meetup but no redheads.

  I shake Jeff’s hand as I reach him. “Brought some beer.” I hold up the six-pack.

  “Awesome, add it to the ice.”

  I flip the top off one and slide the rest in the cooler. “Nice spread.” I scan the backyard. The stucco homes and xeriscaping still look odd to me, and I wonder if Arizona will ever feel like home. Even with the sun dipping behind the trees, it’s still hot. My phone reads one-hundred six. But we’re on the shady side, and fans are set up to make it tolerable. “Where’s Isabelle? I have a pie.” I hold up the bag in my other hand.

  “Man, you’re so Midwest. She’s in the kitchen.” Jeff points over my head.

  “What, dude? If you come to a party, you bring something, right? It’s not like I baked it.”

  “Yeah, I’d be thinking we’d been picking out the wrong people for you if you did.”

  I shake my head. “Don’t stereotype, man. I’m going to find Isabelle.” I spin and move through the doorway to the kitchen.

  “Get some food, man. You’re cranky,” Jeff calls behind me.

  I find Isabelle and wrap my arm around her. “Thanks for the invite.”

  “Zack, I’m so glad you made it. I was getting worried. What did you bring?” She takes the pie, opens the lid, and places it with the other desserts. “Thanks, that was sweet of you.”

  “Yeah, Jeff already accused me of being too Midwestern.”

  “It’s cute.” Her nose scrunches up. “Celeste is here. She’s really embarrassed she wimped out this morning. Her asthma was acting up.”

  “She totally shouldn’t be. It’s wasn’t a test.”

  “I think she’s taking it that way.”

  “I’ll talk to her.”

  “Thanks.” She pats my arm and then squeezes it. “Oh, and sorry, but we sort of had to invite Josie and Sam.

  I lean down to whisper in her ear. “So, it’s not my paranoia thinking they ar
e glomming onto me?”

  “Nope, obvious.” She makes bug eyes at me.

  I load my plate and move through the house, half looking for Celeste and half watching for red hair. On the deck, I scan the crowd.

  “Celeste is over there,” Jeff says beside me.

  “Oh, yeah, thought I’d get dinner in me first.”

  “Maybe you weren’t looking for Celeste though.” He looks at me sideways. “Maybe a redhead? If so, I did pretty good today, right?”

  “Yeah, I don’t know. She’s different somehow. Kind of interesting.”

  “Well, at least let Celeste down easy, crying broads drinking my wine is not something I look forward to.”

  “Seriously? She can’t be that into me. We’ve met up twice.”

  “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He walks away and joins another conversation.

  Mid-bite, Josie and Sam appear. I eat and nod until Isabelle saves me by asking them to help her with some food thing inside. I finish my plate and toss it, moving towards Celeste and the couple she’s talking to. I recognize them as Isabelle and Celeste’s coworkers and stand beside her until there’s a break in the conversation.

  “Hi, Zack.” She smiles at me. “You survive your day?”

  “I think I’m running on fumes, but yes. How are you?”

  “Embarrassed I can play singles all day but can’t climb a mountain.”

  “It was pretty warm today, plus there’s the dust and smog. When it starts out at eighty with twenty-percent humidity, that’s brutal.”

  “We do play tennis inside in the summer.”

  She reintroduces me to the couple she’s been chatting with, and we shake hands and switch job info. Beth Anne and Cody come by and join our group, and the other couple moves on.

  “So, what else do you do besides work and hike?” Celeste asks. “Any hobbies?”

  “Jeff and I play volleyball. I rowed back east but haven’t really found a group here. How about you?”

  “I like yoga.”

  “Yoga is great for flexibility and your core.”

  “I forgot who I was talking to, Mr. Everything Fitness.” She turns to Beth Anne and Cody and repeats the same question.

  The conversation turns to jobs. We’re all in different fields with Cody in banking, Beth Anne in education, and Celeste in marketing. When the music volume gets pumped up, Cody grabs his wife, and they start to dance.