by Lily Greene
While everybody emptied the table and prepared the decadent-looking Marks & Spencer sticky toffee pudding, Ella checked her phone. Thirty-seven missed calls from Robbie Newton and a text from Fergus: So looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night. Let’s dress black tie and go somewhere lovely afterwards. Shall I pick you up at 6.30pm? x
Ella replied, confirming her excitement and the time and remembered that she needed to pick up her fur jacket that she forgot to pick up as she was running out of Sarastro on Saturday evening. She would wear it tomorrow night on Christmas Eve with one of her full-length dresses, though she wasn’t sure which one.
She turned her phone off and went back to her friends who were now helping themselves to a glass of port. They finished the scrumptious pudding and exchanged presents under the small tree that Ella had bought and decorated a few weeks ago. Overcome by sleepiness and an indulgently full feeling, they all flopped onto Ella’s sofa and began to watch It’s a Wonderful Life.
Chapter Eleven
It was Christmas Eve and Ella was feeling exceptionally festive. She had spent the day with Libby wandering around Christmas markets and sampling Christmas treats. They had gone to Winter Wonderland and gorged on German pretzels, yellow and pink striped hard candies, crepes and a lot of mulled wine. They had been wrapped up in cosy bobble hats and gloves when snow started to fall. There was a light wind so the snowflakes fluttered up and down, swirling in the air like butterflies. It hadn’t snowed since Friday morning when she had stayed the night at Fergus’ for the first time. That night had been so incredible that she hoped she would be spending this night with him again. She told Libby about the ballet that her and Fergus were going to and that they had planed to wear black tie. Ella ran through her dress options with Libby, her personal stylist, who insisted that she should wear her red silk dress because it was both knockout and fantastically festive.
The two best friends had been walking through the rosy-cheeked crowds at Winter Wonderland arm in arm for over an hour. They had spent their time talking about men, fashion and work. Libby told Ella she had met someone at the premiere on Saturday evening. He was a red-headed actor who had boldly, but smoothly, asked her for her number. She had given it to him happily and had spent most of the after party laughing with him, (when she wasn’t dressing her ward).
Ella was ecstatic to hear that Libby had a new love interest and hinted at a double date with her and Fergus if things became more serious with this Eddie.
They had eaten so much throughout the day that Ella had no idea how she was going to fit into her dress now that she was at home looking at it in the flesh. She stared at it on the bed, the scarlet silk shining brightly against her cream bedspread. Ella knew that there was only one way to hold in her sweetie-bloated stomach and that was spanks. She said a little prayer for the person who had invented the nifty creation and hoisted them up above her waist.
She slipped on her silk dress. It was simple, elegant and sexy. It had two thin shoulder straps that criss-crossed over her back. At the base of the spine the material gathered and scooped low so that her whole back was exposed. The neckline at the front showed a hint of cleavage but the main focus of the dress was the devastatingly seductive slit that run up her left leg. It wasn’t a very warm outfit to be wearing on a snowy night but she had her fur coat, that she had collected from the restaurant before going to meet Libby. Going back to Sarastro where Robbie had proposed hadn’t brought back as many emotions as she had thought it would and Ella was proud of herself for staying strong and for refusing to pick up any of Robbie’s calls, even when he had started to ring every half an hour.
Ella adjusted her dress under her bust and slid the material a little to the right as the leg slit had encouraged the dress to swim westerly across her body. She heard a car pull up outside her flat so she picked up her cream clutch bag and went outside to meet Fergus.
Fergus greeted her with a gentle kiss on the lips and the connection made her feel electric. They headed off in a taxi and talked about their weekends, though Ella was careful not to mention what she did on Saturday night. They drove past Trafalgar square, Charing Cross station and on to St Martin’s Lane where the cab stopped.
When they stepped into the London Coliseum they turned heads; they were without a doubt the most glamorous couple in there, though other people had dressed up smartly for the Christmas Eve show. Fergus collected their tickets from the box office while Ella took in the theatre’s grand surroundings.
Ella was feasting on the ornate ceiling when a buzzing in her clutch interrupted her. Her phone was on silent but it was still vibrating. She reached into the sequined cream purse and turned off the vibrate settings on her mobile. She couldn’t deal with Robbie’s persistent pestering. Her phone was exhausted from the relentless ringing and all she wanted to do was drop it on the floor so that it would be swept into a crowd of expensively heeled shoes. She resisted the urge to drop her phone on the floor but she did finally give in to temptation of her voicemail. She dialled in and listened to the first of three messages:
“Ell, please tark to me. Pleease pick up, I love yyou.” Robbie was drunk. He mumbled something incomprehensible and then she heard what she thought was “need to seez you t’night.” She hung up the voicemail and turned her phone off. The silent setting wasn’t enough; she wanted her and Fergus to have a wonderful evening together without Robbie haunting her mailbox or her mind. She crammed her phone into her bag in exasperation just as Fergus returned with the tickets.
Ella followed Fergus up the lefthand staircase to a private box. She was thrilled that they would be sitting in their own secluded balcony, with a personal waiter and a superior view. Ella wondered how Fergus was able to book all of these wonderful treats at such short notice. Alice’s Underground Adventures, the Planetarium and now the Nutcracker in a box! All of these events had to be booked well in advance which led her to believe that he must very well connected.
As the curtain began to draw apart and the house lights dimmed, Fergus and Ella moved their chairs a little closer to each other. The thick velvet drapes parted to reveal a dreamland of glittering white forests as the music began to stir. The brilliant red uniforms of the toy soldiers stood in contrast to the snow-encrusted woodlands and the dark green of the colossus pine tree that dwarfed the stage.
Fergus looked over to see pure delight lighting up Ella’s face.
*
After the show, Ella and Fergus went to a speakeasy around the corner from the theatre. Deciding they weren’t very hungry but just a little peckish and worried that the snow outside may thicken while they dined late, Ella and Fergus opted for fast food. They searched for a taxi while eating soggy take-out chips from a polystyrene box. They wondered how funny they must look ambling through the West End in glamorous black tie diving into a box of greasy chips in the middle of the snowy street.
They finally hopped in a cab and headed to Ella’s flat.
As the taxi pulled up, Ella took out her purse and paid the driver making it clear that they were both getting out at her flat.
Ella unlocked the door and stumbled through the steel frame. She switched on a few side lamps that brought a warm glow to the studio.
“Ella, this studio is so cool. It’s got much character!”
She thanked him and gave him the grand tour showing him her art space behind the wall at the head of her bed.
“I love it! So great you can paint here too,” Fergus said. “It’s very you.”
“And what does that mean?” Ella asked cheekily, drawing closer to him.
“Well, sophisticated, beautiful, creative, unique,” he said as he stroked her cheek. He leant in and kissed the arch of her neck, sending tingles down her spine. He kissed her lightly up her neck, across her jaw line and up to her lips. He lingered for a moment and then kissed her again as he started to pull off her heavy coat.
She took it off completely and led him back through to her living area.
“Would you l
ike some wine?” she asked, her voice slightly raspy now.
“Tell me where it is and I’ll pour us some,” he replied smiling. She put her coat on the bed and showed him her small collection of wine in the rack standing against the side of the kitchen island.
He decided on a Merlot and poured them two large glasses. Ella slipped off her silver heels and walked back over to the island looking sultry as she moved. It was hard not to walk sexily in her red dress as the slit was so provocative. Fergus couldn’t help but grin at how irresistible she looked and he raised his glass for a toast.
“To meeting you just in time for Christmas,” he said as his eyes sparkled.
Ella pouted and raised her eyebrows at the sentimental toast.
“To Christmas and,” she paused thoughtfully, “to the most magical ten days with you.” They clinked glasses and sipped their wine, not taking their eyes off each other.
They looked like naughty school children, both giddy in each other’s presence.
As they put their glasses down on the table there was a mighty knock at the door, which made them jump. Ella spilled some wine on the counter as the aggressive metallic knock had taken her by surprise. They looked at each other both a little perturbed as to who would be knocking on Christmas Eve so late. The rapping started again, louder this time.
Ella walked to the front door and unlocked the door. Robbie was leaning against the doorframe, one hand on his hip and his breath crisp on the cold air.
Ella’s face dropped. Panic spread across her body as she took in the inebriated Robbie standing square in front of her.
“Ella, who is it? Is everything okay?” Fergus asked as he saw Ella’s body freeze from behind.
Robbie pushed over the front door and walked into the room.
“Ella, Ella …” He was stumbling, his red eyes trying to focus on his ex-girlfriend.
“Robbie what are you doing here?” she shouted, mortified at his presence.
Fergus moved around the island now, realising that this man he had mildly recognised was the tall figure that had shown up at Ella’s exhibition.
“Ella, I had to see you. You wouldn’t answer your phone.”
“Robbie, there is a reason I didn’t answer my phone and you know it. I’d like you to leave.” Ella could feel Fergus’ gaze was on the pair of them and she didn’t know what to do.
“So, yourr saying Zaturday meant nothing?” he asked slurring.
Ella was determined not to let Robbie destroy the evening or say something that might upset Fergus.
“No. Please leave.”
“Yourr sayin’ our kiss meant nothing?”
“You kissed this guy?” Fergus asked gently but with disdain.
Ella turned to explain but Robbie got there first.
“Yess. And this guy,” he said gesturing to himself, “is Ella’s boyfriend of six years.”
“Ex-boyfriend,” Ella said bitterly, snapping back to Robbie’s direction.
“Ella, I asskd you to marry me and I’ll do it again now,” he said. As he attempted to bend down onto one knee, Robbie lost his footing and fell. He hit his head on the edge of her wooden bed and clutched it as it had started to bleed. Ella rushed to his rescue.
“Are you okay?” she asked, inspecting his cut.
“I’m fine,” he said, steadying himself. He got back onto one knee now and looked like he was searching for the ring as he rifled unsuccessfully through his pockets
“Look Ella, you wanted to marry me, whatz changed?”
Ella stood up to talk to Fergus. She wanted, no she needed, to salvage this quickly otherwise he was going to draw the wrong conclusions and think the worst of her.
“Fergus, I —”
“I think I better leave,” he said staring solemnly at Ella. She was tongue-tied and didn’t know how to explain Robbie’s appearance, the kiss and the proposal all in one go. She shook her head flustered and tried to speak again.
“Fergus, please —”
“No Ella, I think you two clearly need to talk.” He walked across the room and picked up his coat. He turned back to see Ella glued to the same spot opposite the man who was wobbling absurdly down on one knee. It looked like a tragic tableau from a GCSE drama lesson entitled ‘Christmas disaster’.
“So long as he’s not too drunk that you feel unsafe … I’ll be going.”
Ella swallowed. Of course she didn’t feel unsafe, it was Robbie, the person she knew best in this world, but safe or not, she didn’t want to be here with him now. She gave a light nod, thinking it best for her to deal with Robbie alone.
Fergus looked down at her and said “goodbye Ella” with such finality that she felt as if she might explode with tears. His eyes looked full of disappointment and disdain. He left swiftly, the metallic shrillness of the door reinforcing Ella’s new feeling of emptiness.
She sighed and looked at her drunken ex-boyfriend. He was falling asleep, one hand clutching the ring he had finally found, and the other supporting himself against the floor. His head was bobbing down to meet his cocked leg and he was dribbling.
Chapter Twelve
Ella woke up to the sound of Robbie’s grunting snore. It bellowed through the room and pierced the festive air like a pneumatic drill. It was Christmas Day and Ella awoke to see her ex-boyfriend slumped over her sofa like a stocking that was yet to be filled.
She got out of bed, showered and changed in the bathroom. She walked over to the source of the stale smell of alcohol and sat down next to him.
Robbie stirred slightly, his eyes opening, hazy at first but when he realised he was looking up at Ella’s stern face, he rubbed his eyes and bolted upright. He looked up at her like a school child waiting to be reprimanded by his head master.
“Merry Christmas,” Ella said with quiet sarcasm.
“Oh Ella, it’s Christmas Day and I’ve ruined it for you.”
Ella said nothing.
“What happened?” Robbie asked, a nervous weak smile twitching across his face.
“You don’t remember?” Ella said surprised. She had to fight the urge to be rude.
He shook his head in shame.
“Well, let’s see. You barged in here drunk interrupting my Christmas Eve date, you proceeded to tell the man that I’m dating that we kissed the other day and proposed to me again, this time in front of him. Then you practically passed out while still down on one knee and I had to drag you to the sofa.”
Robbie winced.
“Ella, I know you’re tired of hearing it, and it sounds so mechanically devoid of meaning now that I’ve said it so many times, but please know I am sorry.”
She nodded, acknowledging his apology and stared up at the ceiling.
“I have handled this all so badly. I thought I could come back and solve this but I can see I was wrong. You have moved on and I need to respect that. I need to accept that. You seem to be doing so well, brilliant even. Oh, that sounds patronising when I didn’t mean it to be. I just meant that you look great, exceptional, at the moment. I know I have a funny way of showing it but I’m so happy for you that your career is sky-rocketing too.”
“Thank you, Robbie.”
They sat in silence for some time until Robbie spoke finally.
“I can’t believe I’ve lost the most wonderful thing I ever had.”
It was Ella’s turn to wince now. How did one answer that?
“Well, maybe we haven’t lost anything. Maybe we can still be friends in the future,” Ella said half-heartedly. They looked at each other, recognising that this would never happen.
“I wish that could be true Ella. But I don’t think it can be with our history, not for a long time anyway. It would never be simple because I’ve really cocked this up!”
They laughed a little and talked for a few minutes about their relationship and about how they would both move forwards without each other. Robbie was back in London for good but he promised he would give her space.
Ella took his hand in hers.
“I did love you an awful amount and we did have a fantastic relationship Robbie.”
“We had fun, didn’t we?” he asked.
“Yes, but we argued.”
“All the time. We could never —”
“Agree on anything! I’m surprised we managed to buy a house together.”
“Or choose where to go on holiday.”
“We had so many holidays.”
“We had so much sex!”
Ella laughed a little now, remembering fondly that Robbie always tried to sprinkle humour into serious conversations. He hadn’t been wrong in what he had said though – they had shared an undeniably strong chemistry.
“Yes. We did. We always agreed when it came to that …” Ella admitted. She pulled her hand away now and straightened up, tugging her dress down a bit.
“Ella?”
“Yes, Robbie?”
“Merry Christmas.” Robbie said it with sadness heavy in his eyes. He stood up to go but he put his hands on either side of her cheeks and leant down to kiss her forehead. She closed her eyes as he did so, soaking up the last of her past.
“One thing before you go …” she asked.
“Anything,” he said tenderly.
“How did you know where I lived?”
Robbie sighed self-consciously, embarrassed to admit how he knew.
“I text Jimi. I asked him where your new house was. I said it was urgent.”
Ella shook her head in disbelief. She walked towards him and hugged him and held him tightly in an embrace that lasted for a minute or two.
“Goodbye Robbie,” she said finally as she closed the door behind him.
*
“Libby! I can’t come for lunch. I’m so sorry, but I was with Fergus last night and Robbie showed up and spoke about a kiss and marrying me and Fergus ran off and he won’t answer any of my calls. I have to go and find him and explain,” she rambled.
“Oh my god, darling! Shit, breath! Christmas drama! Oh fuck Merry Christmas! Listen, don’t worry. Emily’s just gone into labour so I think we’ll be missing Christmas lunch too!”