Jonathan's Legacy

by Hans M Hirschi

  “Rick and I literally grew up with the foundation. It’s been like a sibling to us—omnipresent—and just as they’d ask us about our days at school, homework, they’d keep us in the loop of projects, people involved, successes, setbacks. There was never a question in my mind that I’d go to work there. I studied, of course, and I could’ve done anything I wanted and made both of them proud, but I always wanted to do what they did. It was the same for you, right?” Jeanette looked at Rick, who nodded.

  “Yeah, absolutely. I could’ve become a garbage hauler, or a miner, or an astronaut—no matter what, our fathers would’ve been proud if I gave it my everything. It didn’t matter what we did, as long as we applied ourselves.” Rick’s eyes were all wet again, as he looked at Dennis, and held out his arms. “Come here, son. I’m sorry. Take all the time you need to find the one for you, and even if you never do, I’ll still love you just the same and be proud of you.”

  * * * * *

  Chapter 3 - Breakdown

  The drive back to the house was pretty much spent in silence. Parker focused on traffic, and Cody and Marc sat mostly without saying anything. Today had been a difficult day, to at last put Jonathan’s urn into the ground and bury him next to Dan and Sean. The act had implied such finality, and slowly, it sank in, eliciting different emotions in each of them.

  Upon arriving at the house, Marc took his leave and disappeared into his and Jonathan’s old bedroom. Even though it was the master bedroom—the largest one in the house with en-suite bathroom—neither Parker nor Cody had considered moving in there, even though the house was now officially theirs. It just seemed odd, weird. This was Grandpa’s and Granddad’s room, and now Marc was living there. No one was ready to cut the ties and make the changes. Instead, Parker and Cody had returned to living in their old rooms in the east wing, which they had moved into after Dan’s passing to keep Jonathan company.

  “That was quite a day,” Cody said as he plopped down on the bed to stretch and relax a bit.

  “Yeah, it’s all over now. I miss him. I miss his counsel, or just his presence. He’s always been there for me, you know?”

  “I do. Mind you, I owe him my legs. He was quite a unique person. And now I owe him this…” Cody pointed around the room. “What are we going to do with the house, now it’s just you, me, and Marc?”

  “I don’t know, and I’m not sure I feel like talking about it now. Don’t get me wrong, but it feels that if we start to change things, we do away with the memories after Grandpa…”

  “No rush. I feel perfectly fine here, but I think, eventually, we’ll have to address it. I’m sure Marc will be wanting to know what we plan.”

  “I guess. Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it, all right? I’m beat, the drive was exhausting. I think I’ll take a bath. Join me?”

  Cody chuckled. “What did you have in mind?”

  “You’ll see…”

  ***

  Marc walked into the bedroom and was overcome by the strangest sensation, as if he wasn’t alone and someone else was in the room with him.

  “Jonathan?” he whispered, turning on the light. But as soon as the lights came on, the feeling, the presence he felt, disappeared.

  I’m going crazy. What am I going to do, huh? I’m forty years old, a newlywed and a widower, all rolled up in one miserable package. Tell me, Jonathan, tell me? What am I going to do?

  He sat on the end of the bed and began to cry. The bottled-up emotions of all those weeks and months since the wedding washed over him, wanting out, needing a desperate release. The realization he’d never be with Jonathan again, never touch him, never again feel the warmth of his body next to his, never again hear his counsel, never again be able to look into those deep-green eyes, marvel at his wisdom, feel his love… All of this, and more—the lack of future, the loneliness, not having friends in this town—everything came out and washed over him like a powerful, emotional tsunami. Marc had no way to defend himself, and he cried like a wounded animal. He fell off the bed and held himself, wailing in despair.

  At the other end of the hall, Cody and Parker had just submerged into the hot bath when they heard the sounds coming from Marc’s room. Parker jumped out of the bathtub, put on a robe, and ran to see what was going on.

  “Marc, are you all right?” Parker dropped to his knees next to Marc, who was lying on the floor in a fetal position, sobbing in anguish. There was no response; he just kept going. Parker pulled Marc’s head onto his lap, trying to comfort him.

  “Shh, it’s going to be all right. Let it out, let it out. You’ll feel better, just let it all out…”

  But Marc wouldn’t stop, and he began to shake violently, uncontrollably, and Parker got really worried. He called through to Cody, “Babe, Marc’s not well. Call 9-1-1, now. We need an ambulance.”

  Cody appeared in the doorway. Like Parker, he’d been worried by the strange wailing sounds coming from Marc’s bedroom and had immediately climbed out of the bath and put his legs back on. As soon as he felt the emotions coming from Parker and Marc—something he could sense almost instantly—he hurried back to their room to place the call.

  “Operator?”

  “9-1-1. What is the nature of your emergency?”

  “Our friend’s collapsed. I think he’s having a breakdown. We need an ambulance.”

  “I see. Is there any immediate danger for his life? Do you fear he could hurt himself?”

  “No, I don’t think so. He’s just lying on the floor, crying, shaking like a leaf.”

  “I understand. We’ll send you an ambulance as quickly as we can. What is the address?”

  Cody gave the operator the address to the house and his name and hung up. He realized the ambulance might take a while since it wasn’t life threatening.

  It was half an hour later when it arrived, and Cody led the paramedics into Marc’s bedroom, where he was still crying, and shaking uncontrollably. Parker was still sitting with him, petting his head and trying to comfort him, making sure he couldn’t hurt himself.

  The paramedic took Marc’s vitals while asking Parker and Cody questions about Marc’s general health. They told him about the funeral, and that it had been Marc’s husband they’d buried earlier that day.

  The paramedic nodded gravely. “Sure looks like a psychological trauma of some sort. I’ll give him a sedative, and we’ll take him with us.” The paramedic injected Marc with the sedative, and within a minute, he visibly relaxed, calmed down, and fell asleep. They loaded him onto a gurney and carried him downstairs to the waiting ambulance.

  “Where are you taking him?” Parker asked.

  “Mercy.”

  “We’ll follow right behind, as soon as we’re dressed.”

  “Wow, what was that?” Cody asked.

  “I don’t know, but maybe he’s been bottling up his sorrow over losing Jonathan for such a long time and finally, today, the bubble burst. I mean, the way he’d been handling it… Wasn’t it odd, how calm and relaxed he was?”

  “Yeah, but I figured that he always knew this day would come.”

  “But maybe not on his wedding day. Cody, imagine the horror. And without a chance to say goodbye. Grandpa just got up to go to the restroom and then took a walk along the beach, sat down and died. The mere memory of your accident, the fear of losing you…” Parker shuddered at the memories. “I lost it then, completely. I can only imagine how Marc must feel.”

  “Poor guy.” Cody shook his head. “Let’s get dressed and get down there. We should call the others, too.”

  Minutes later, the boys left the house and drove to Mercy Hospital, calling the family from their car.

  “Mom?” Parker began. “Yeah, sorry to call you this late, but we just had to call an ambulance for Marc.”

  Jeanette’s voice went up on the other end. “Oh my god, is he all right? What happened?”

  “I think the loss of Grandpa finally hit him, hard. Are you coming? They’re taking him to Mercy.”

  “Y
eah, of course. I’ll ask Daniel to look after the little ones. Dad and I will be there as soon as we can. You guys drive carefully, okay?”

  Next, Parker called Rick.

  “Uncle Rick? It’s Parker. Sorry to call at this hour…”

  Rick was immediately worried. “Is everything okay? Is Cody all right?”

  “Yeah, yeah, Cody’s fine.” Parker looked over at Cody sitting in the passenger seat. “It’s Marc, actually. We think he had a breakdown. They took him to Mercy. We’re on our way there now. Can you guys come down?”

  “Marc? A breakdown? What happened? Did you have a fight?”

  “No, nothing like that at all. We came back to the house, chatted a bit, had a bite to eat, and then we went to our bedrooms. Cody and I decided to take a bath, and we’d literally just climbed into the water when we heard the cries from Marc and Grandpa’s room. Rick, I’m telling you, he sounded like a wounded animal. I have never heard anything like it. When I came into the room, he was lying on the floor, holding his knees, and then he began to shake, uncontrollably. I couldn’t even talk to him, he was completely unresponsive. So we called 9-1-1. They’re on their way to Mercy. We’re about halfway there.”

  “Don’t worry, Parker. Rachel and I will be there as soon as we can. Stay strong. Are your parents coming?”

  “Yes, they are, as soon as they’ve taken care of the kids.”

  “Good, be safe. We’ll see you in a bit.”

  ***

  At the ER at Mercy, things were crazy busy and hectic, as most ERs would be at that time of day. Parker and Cody made their way to the counter to inquire about Marc.

  “Friend of family?”

  “Family. He’s our step-grandfather.”

  Parker’s response elicited a raised eyebrow from the nurse on duty.

  “How is Marc?”

  “Well, he’s not here in the ER. They’ve taken him straight to the ward. He was unconscious on arrival. You need to go upstairs, to the eleventh floor. He’s in room 11-26.”

  “Thank you, Nurse,” Parker said, and they walked over to the main lobby and the elevator. Parker sent a couple of quick texts to Rick and his parents, to let them know where they were heading. Once they were on the right floor, they walked over to the nurse’s desk.

  “Hi, my name is Parker Thomas, and this is my husband Cody. We are looking for Marc Duchesne. He’s our step-grandfather, and we were told he’s in room 26. Can you tell us how he is doing? Is there a doctor we could talk to?”

  The duty nurse gave Parker a funny look. “Ain’t he a bit young to be y’all’s granddad? Seems to me he’s not even old enough to be your daddy…”

  Parker smiled. “That’s a long story, ma’am. Suffice to say, my grandpa was eighty-one when he and Marc got married, so it’s all in the realm of the possible.”

  “I’m sorry.” The nurse blushed. “I wasn’t trying to pry. Why don’t you sit down and wait right over there. I’ll go see if the doctor has already been with him.”

  Parker and Cody sat in the lounge and waited. After a few minutes, the nurse came back and told them the doctors were with Marc and would come to talk to them afterward. Meanwhile, Rick and Rachel had arrived and joined the boys, followed by Jeanette and Paul. Jeanette hugged her son and son-in-law, and asked if they’d heard anything.

  “Not yet. The doctors are with him now. The paramedics were talking about a psychological trauma. I can only assume it has to do with Grandpa. After all this time, it finally sunk in and hit a nerve.”

  “Poor Marc.”

  They all sat and waited. It wasn’t long before a doctor approached them.

  “Good evening, everybody. Are you the Duchesne family?”

  Rick, being the informal head of the family, got up first and shook the doctor’s hand. “Yes, in a way. Marc was married to my late father. I’m Rick Jackson. This is my wife Rachel, my sister Jeanette, and her husband Paul, and this is my nephew Parker and his husband Cody. They were the ones who found Marc.”

  The doctor looked at everyone in turn and finally spoke to Cody and Parker. “He’s still sedated, and we haven’t been able to talk to him. Physically, he’s in good shape, and we’ve taken some blood to run tests—we’ll see if they reveal anything. Did he say anything to you? Did you perceive anything that might indicate what’s wrong?”

  Parker responded first. “No, Doc. We just suddenly heard screaming from his bedroom. And when I got there, he was on the floor, in a fetal position, crying uncontrollably and shaking. I wasn’t able to get anything out of him.”

  Cody filled in. “We’d just come back from our country home where we buried the ashes of his late husband. He died on their wedding day. Grandpa was considerably older than Marc, and his health hadn’t been the best. The past few months, since Grandpa’s death, must’ve been really hard on Marc. First, he had to look after his own parents, who were present when it all happened, and then he pretended to be strong for our sake, too. Maybe yesterday’s burial was just the proverbial straw?”

  “Hmm.” The doctor was thinking, “Maybe. Sometimes these things build up over a long period of time, a combination of stress, leading to a depression. Can you think of anything that might have triggered the episode?”

  “He was fine when we got home. Marc, Cody, and I live in Grandpa’s old house. He left it to us, but Marc had barely been in their old bedroom since Grandpa’s death. He stayed there a few days after we returned from the wedding, but he flew back to Belgium with his parents and was there until just a few days ago. He only came back for the burial. My guess would be that being in their bedroom alone after a rough day, which I’m sure the burial must’ve been, was just too much for him. Plus, Grandpa left the house to Cody and me, and I guess Marc might be wondering if he really is welcome to stay, and when we’ll want to move over to the master bedroom. Poor Marc. Now that I think of it, I’m not really surprised he’s had a breakdown.”

  “Well, he is asleep and resting now. You should all go home. There’s nothing you can do here. Come back in the morning, if you like. He’s in good hands. Once we can definitely rule out anything physical, we’ll have one of our resident psychiatrists take over. Since this sounds like depression, before we can release him, we need to rule out the risk he may inflict damage to himself.” The doctor shook everyone’s hands before turning to leave. “Oh, one last thing. Can you inform his parents?”

  Parker nodded. “I’ll call them in the morning. It’s still night in Europe. No need to call them now, since he’s not in any immediate danger, right?”

  “Right, but they should be informed.”

  * * * * *

  Chapter 4 - Kim Hwan

  When Marc woke up, he didn’t recognize his surroundings. He was in a smallish, square room, and lying in a hospital bed? He searched for the alarm and pushed the small button.

  Almost instantly, a nurse came into the room.

  “Mr. Duchesne, you’re awake? How are you feeling, sir?”

  “Where am I? What am I doing here?”

  “You’re at Mercy Hospital. You came in here last night, by ambulance. You had some kind of psychological episode at your house. We’re running some tests to rule out any physical condition. How do you feel?”

  Marc paused, trying to ascertain his own feelings. “I, uh, I guess I feel fine. Tired, a bit of a headache, but otherwise I’m fine. What time is it?”

  “It’s almost six in the morning. Let me take your temperature and blood pressure, and then I’ll get you something to drink. Deal?”

  “Thank you, Nurse…”

  “Jackie, the name’s Jackie.”

  “Thank you, Jackie.”

  Jackie began by taking Marc’s temperature, measuring his pulse, and then his blood pressure. “One thirty over eighty. Looks fine. The doctors begin their rounds in a couple of hours. I’ll go get you a coffee or would you rather have tea?”

  “Coffee’s fine. Thanks. I need to go to the bathroom.”

  “It’s right over there,
that door.” Jackie pointed to a door in one of the corners of the room, right next to the door leading out into the corridor. “Let me see how you manage to get up.”

  Marc swung his legs out of the bed and got up. “Seems I can still stand and walk.”

  “Good. Just take it easy, and I’ll be back in a little bit.” She left the room and Marc to take care of his morning business.

  He walked into the small bathroom and turned on the lights, catching his reflection in the mirror. The youthful face, the freckles, the strawberry-blond hair, it was all still there, but around his eyes he noticed he had aged, and even the eyes themselves no longer had that sparkle, the youthful, radiant energy that used to put everyone he met at ease. Instead, his eyes looked tired, and they seemed matte, almost lifeless. He barely recognized the man looking back at him in that mirror.

  Marc thought of Jonathan, the loss he’d suffered, and he watched as tears formed and began to run down his cheeks. Silent tears, yet plenty of them. The whites of his eyes turned a reddish color, and he wept, shedding tears, endless tears…

  When Marc woke up again, he was back in the bed, and next to him sat a man probably in his late twenties, early thirties. However, based on his white hospital coat, he could have been fifty for all Marc knew.

  The doctor was studying him, watching him with kind and curious dark-brown eyes. “Hey, Marc. Is it okay if I call you Marc? I’m Doctor Kim, Adam Kim. How do you feel?” The doctor smiled and stretched out his hand. Marc took it and was surprised by how warm it was. He nodded.

  “I trust that’s a yes to calling you Marc? You had another episode this morning, in the bathroom. You scared the nurse half to death. So here’s the good news. Your blood work came back negative. Your white cell count is a bit high, but that’s nothing unusual. At least we can rule out any physical ailments. Which leaves us with the original hypothesis: a mental health crisis—a breakdown, if you will—probably due to depression.”