Rise of the Alphae: From Death unto Life (Wastelands Saga Book 1)

by James Huff

  Chapter 3:

  I lazily opened my eyes as I tried to get a feel for my surroundings. I looked over at the holographic time monitor. It was still early morning. My body ached with fatigue and I looked down at my right arm and noticed that my wrist had been wrapped up in a caste. Suddenly I remembered my night of rage at the flat. I heard a knock at my bedroom door.

  “John! John, are you awake?” It was Mother. “Father has made us some breakfast. You should get up and eat. Today is a big day for you.” I slowly began to get up, knees wobbly. I glided over to the door and proceeded to walk down the hall into the kitchen. A plate of modified grains and oats lay on the counter, mixed with some kind of milky paste. I hated the food of Metropolis. Why couldn’t we ever have any of the food that the Alphae had in his kingdoms? If he really was so all powerful the least he could do was own up to his promises. I guess they were just empty lies. I sat down on the chair that was hovering below the counter and reluctantly ate the bland mush before me.

  Father looked up at me. “Good morning John. Dr. Zatts called us while you were asleep and informed us of your diagnosis and new treatment plan. Your mother and I are so happy that we have finally found a way to make things better for you.” Normally I would have been angered at his statement, but something had changed in me. My emotions seemed to be numbed. I guess that implant really was affecting me. It was odd. It was like I could feel the anger rise up in my mind, but it did not have an affect on my emotional state. It was purely mental. I had to admit, though, it was kind of nice since it made me feel a lot calmer. I finished my food and got up to walk outside. Mother spoke up. “Where are you going?” “I thought I would go for a walk,” I replied. “Oh no, John. We will all be going to the Center City Temple for the worship service before the Induction Ceremony this evening.” The words hit me like a knife. Today was the day that I would be entering the walls of Institution for the first time. All of the warnings of Grandfather began to flood into my mind like a geyser of worry.

  I walked back into the living area to sit down. “So what are we going to do now then? I feel bored.” Mother looked slightly annoyed. “Your father and I wish to talk to you for a while. We just want to understand better how you feel about your new diagnosis and treatment plan. Your counselor Mr. Thomas was over while you were at the BMF and he suggested that we talk to you more.” I didn’t really feel like talking. I just wanted to get the next three years over with. I knew that Institution was going to be a nightmare. I almost preferred exile. Mother and Father sat down across from me. Father was the first to speak up.

  “Mr. Thomas suggested that we get to the core of the matter by discussing the real reason for your anger toward the Alphae.” I knew where he was going with this, but I didn’t feel like prematurely reacting. I just listened. “I am going to ask you a difficult question. This question is difficult for all of us. Why do you blame the Alphae for your grandfather’s death?” I knew it was coming and I knew there was no point in getting upset. I didn’t even have the energy to be bothered by it. I just shrugged my shoulders. “John,” Mother began, “you need to talk to us. We want to know how you truly feel. It is okay if you get upset. Let it all out. Just, please, do not throw a temper tantrum like you did before. No one wants that.”

  Grandfather’s face suddenly came into my mind’s eye. I saw him smiling down at me with those deep blue eyes. Then I saw the Alphae looming above him with a menacing look on his face. I should have been angry, but it was like my emotions were being blocked. I felt dead. I felt numb. I was just tired. Tired of everything. I thought back to my time on the recliner with my jaw clamped shut, choking on my own vomit. Why couldn’t they have just let me die? Why couldn’t I just be released from this cruel world and join my grandfather? I knew he had to be in a better place. Something in my heart told me that he was in Vaena. It seemed impossible, but I had to believe that there was some truth to that story, the one tale that changed my life forever. I managed to force out a couple of tears, but the pain within me felt constipated. It was no use. I was limp.

  Mother continued. “My son, how can we know how you truly feel if you do not talk to us? Can you at least tell us what happened that night?” Father looked at me with a sense of longing in his eyes. Even though he never said it, I knew he had been anxiously awaiting the details of that night. I knew that, if he had the chance, he would have asked me before. This was my family intervention I suppose. At least the Alphae was not here this time. Reluctantly, I began to recount to them the events of that dismal night. As I did so, for the first time in a long time, I sensed care coming from their hearts. When I got to the part about my vendetta against the Alphae, however, they both looked deeply disturbed. Father was the first to speak up on this matter.

  “My son, you have no reason to be angry at the Alphae, and to make such a vow is not only dangerous, it is the worst sort of blasphemy imaginable. One day you will see that everything happens for a reason. Your grandfather is now free to explore the kingdoms of the Alphae. He is at peace. The Alphae took him home, because it was his time.” I had nothing to say. I still felt defeated. I got up and started to walk back into my room. Mother spoke up. “You cannot run away from this John. We are only trying to help. We love you and that is why we are reaching out to you and giving you a chance to explain yourself.” I didn’t know what to say so I decided to throw her a request. “Can I just be alone for a while?” Mother and Father looked at each other and then looked at me, hesitant. Father walked over to me and looked right into my eyes. “I can see how you may feel that would help, but Mr. Thomas has entrusted us with your care until you enter the walls of Institution. You may go in your room and pray to the Alphae, but we cannot let you go off somewhere alone.”

  If my father actually thought I would pray to that tyrannical liar, he was full of it. But I agreed to spend some time in my room. I sat down on my bed and put my hands in my face, letting out a much needed sigh. I remembered what I used to do in times like these and decided that I would try to escape into my imagination for a while. I tried to think about Vaena, but something was blocking me. Every time I tried to conjure up the beautiful image of Grandfather standing among the Vaena elders, all I could see instead was myself wandering through the Wastelands with the flesh rotting off my body. Then the Alphae would mesh into view, offering me reconciliation. But I knew that I could not accept it, so I continued to walk in agony, alone and forgotten. I could not even use my imagination.

  I thought about what Dr. Zatts said about the hemispheres of my brain being dissociated. Then it hit me. The implant in my arm must have been designed to block or somehow intercept the right hemisphere of my brain responsible for imagination and creativity. This may have also been what was affecting my emotions. Now what could I do? Maybe after a while I could learn how to overcome the effects of the implant. Refusing the booster shots was out of the question. There was no way I was going to invite that kind of pain into my life. I had to try a different method. Maybe if I really did pray to the Alphae, if he really did hear me, I could convince him to give me back my more imaginative mind. But I knew that was something I could never do. So, feeling defeated, I returned to the living area to find Mother and Father still sitting there waiting for me.

  Father looked up at me, a thoughtful look in his eye. “John, how would you feel about going for a walk in the Center City Gardens?” I just stared at him blankly and shrugged my shoulders. He looked over to Mother and they both nodded, reaching an unspoken understanding. “Perhaps you and I can go alone while your mother goes to the Temple area to prepare for the Worship Service. It would give us some time to talk. And we can talk about anything since your mother will not be there to scold you so much.” He prodded Mother on the arm and laughed. At first Mother’s face grew red with anger, but it soon returned to its normal pallor as she let out a slight chuckle. I thought about it for a bit. I supposed that it would be nice to open up to someone, even if it was someone as boring and ignorant as my father. M
aybe he would actually listen to me about the joy of Grandfather’s stories. After all, they were the only thing I really had to remember him by now. And they were all stored in my now raped imagination.

  Mother began to clean up the dining area as Father and I walked out of the front door and headed to the main lift at the end of the hall. As we descended I decided to speak my mind. “Father…” I began, but I was interrupted. “Yes, son? What is it?” I was getting rather annoyed. Why would he ask me what I wanted to say when he could have simply let me finish my sentence? It seemed like everyone was always cutting me off. No one ever wanted to listen. They just waited for their turn to speak and hashed out the same lies that I had heard my entire life from everyone, except for Grandfather. “The implant that Dr. Zatts inserted into my arm has made it almost impossible for me to imagine Grandfather’s stories. Can’t you just tell him that my behavior has improved and ask him to remove it? My imagination was all that I had.”

  We exited the lift and began to walk toward the train platform. Father continued walking and did not speak until we had already entered the train and sat down near the back. The display monitor above was silently depicting scenes of the Alphae with children about my age, teaching them and playing with them in his paradise. “My son,” Father began, “you must understand that in order for you to get better and stay better, your treatment plan must be followed according to the exact protocols of the BMF.” I looked up at him, questioning. “And how do I know that those protocols serve my best interest?” Father hesitated before he answered; it was obvious that he was confused by my questions, even if only slightly. “Your behavior has already shown signs of improvement. But this is because of the medicinal implant. You have to let it work. If you got it removed, your DDD would fully manifest and you would again fall back into relapse. If that were to happen, the BMF would be forced to use more extreme measures. The extent of your suffering is entirely in your hands. Keep the implant for a while, and maybe if you graduate from Institution with exemplary behavior it will be removed.”

  I sat back and closed my eyes, falling into the oblivion of my current state. I hated feeling numb. I hated feeling blocked. And more than ever, I missed Grandfather and his stories. Before long the train halted and we arrived at the Center City platform. Father led the way as I followed him to the Gardens a few blocks from the Center City Temple. I could see the building of Institution rising up in the distance and my stomach seemed to drop. Father looked over at me. “Are you okay son?” I squatted on the sidewalk across from the Temple and stared down at the concrete. “I feel sick. I am so nervous about entering Institution this evening.” Father reached down and grabbed my arm and lifted me to my feet. “Come on son, I want to take you somewhere where we can both be open.”

  We passed the Temple area and the feeling in my stomach began to slowly subside. As we reached the outer circle of flora and fauna, Father paused and looked deeply into my eyes. “I want you to tell me the story. You know which one.” I was shocked and stood there motionless for several moments, until I noticed that Father had already walked ahead of me and was approaching the Fountain to the West, below a bronze statue of the Alphae. He sat down on the bench under the fountain and waited for me. I reluctantly approached the bench and sat down next to my father. I found it odd how, ever since Grandfather passed, I had grown closer to my father. It seemed that I would always have problems with Mother, but I knew that Father shared the same blood as his father. I knew that, even though he suppressed it, there was still a part of my father that questioned the Alphae and the guise of Metropolis itself, however small and subconscious it may be. He was the first to speak.

  “I want you to tell me the story about Vaena. Your grandfather never told me the story when I was a child. In fact I had never even heard of it until your mother overheard you and him speak of it. Maybe if you tell me the story, I will be able to better understand you. That is what this morning is all about. You and I understanding one another.” I was suspicious. Why did he really want to know this story? Was it so that he could use it against me later? What if I acted out again in Institution and was exiled for it? He would probably support my exile and still worship and honor the Alphae. He may be the son of my grandfather, but he was never a true father to me. How could I trust a man who was convinced that I was insane, while simultaneously being perfectly adjusted to such an insane world? Metropolis was full of madness. And it was all clearly seen in the worship of the Alphae, which I would be seeing much of on this day. How could I help myself at all by conveying to my father this story? If anything it would only make things worse. But I still loved him, and even Mother, despite everything else. And I knew that Grandfather would want me to do my best to show that love. The least I could do was to quell my father’s curiosity.

  And so I retold the story just as it had been told to me. Father listened the entire time and did not appear to react at all. He just sat there calmly and listened, with not so much as a sliver of anticipation in his eye. After I told the story he walked up to the fountain and reached into the water and took a stone. He handed me the stone and smiled. “My son, I want you to take this stone with you when you enter Institution. This stone will be your reminder that we both love Grandfather and we can both appreciate his stories. But this stone is not living. Just like the story, it is only a stone. It has no life. So while the story is beautiful, you must always remember that it is fiction and nothing more.”

  Normally I would have been angered by this, but as I said before my emotions felt suppressed. I kind of missed them. Maybe I would build up a tolerance for the substance that was released via the implant. It seemed hopeless, but I knew I was strong enough. I did not want the stone, but I took it anyway. Not for what it represented to my father, but for what it represented to me; the common bond of blood. It reminded me that my awakened mind stemmed from the same line as his. Why it had skipped a generation every time, I did not know. But I did know that this stone could mean whatever I wanted it to. And I also knew that it may be the one simple thing that could serve to resuscitate my imagination to its former state, as slow and subtle a struggle as it may be.

  We sat there in silence for a very long time. At least a few hours must have passed in this quiet, meditative state. I could tell because the sun was beginning to approach the center of the sky; it must have been nearing noon. I felt a subtle breeze kiss my face with tenderness as Father placed his hand on my shoulder, turned toward me, and smiled. I smiled back at him. And this time, it was genuine. I actually felt a lot better about entering Institution now. I knew that this smile was probably the last genuine act of happiness that I would express until I graduated from Institution…if I even made it out of there. Father stood up and turned around to face me. “We should probably start heading over to the Temple area. Mother said she would meet us by the number 9 altar station.”

  I followed Father to the edge of the Gardens and we began to walk East, toward the Center City Temple. It was only a few blocks away, but I found that I was dragging my feet. Father seemed to noticed and grabbed my arm and pulled me toward him. “Come on son,” he chuckled, “we cannot be late.” We continued on and approached the edge of the arc of altar stations. I followed Father toward the number 9 station and could already see Mother there waiting for us. She was dressed in a beautiful summer dress, bedecked with red roses on a black background. Most of the time I never paid attention to the appearance of my parents. Grandfather just seemed more important to me. But she did look beautiful. She had fair skin with a few freckles lining her cheeks and long, flowing strawberry blonde hair. Both of my parents looked young for their ages. Father was of shorter stature than most men his age and was not the most handsome man in the world. He had dark brown hair that was cut short and a neatly trimmed beard, not unlike Grandfather’s, except there was no gray and it was much cleaner. Grandfather’s beard was always unkempt. The thought made me chuckle. It was weird to look at my parents in this new light. It was like they we
re actually beginning to be important enough for me to really examine them. My love for them was growing, and I even began to feel sad that I was soon to be leaving them to enter the walls of Institution for 3 years. The idea that I would actually miss them never crossed my mind until that moment. No matter what the BMF or the Alphae did, no one could ever take away my love for them. Even if they exiled me themselves. Grandfather always taught me to love my family and keep them close in my heart. Despite all of our differences, I knew that this is what he wanted and that he would be smiling down at me now, wherever he may be in his eternal rest.

  I was so filled with love in that moment that I divorced myself from my father’s side and ran over to my mother and hugged her. I started weeping subtly and held her tight. “Oh Mother,” I began, “please don’t let them take me into Institution. I will be good, I promise. I am so scared. What if I can’t control myself? What if...” She broke in through my teary mumblings. “There, there son. I must say that I am shocked at your newfound change of attitude. But I do not want you to be sad or angry. You should be overjoyed. For soon you will be declared a son of the only one and true god, the Alphae. These next three years will be some of the most memorable of your entire life. The Alphae can give you what your father and I, and even your grandfather, could never give you.”

  My tears stopped, I pulled back, and my face began to grow warm with a tinge of anger. I could feel it begin to rise up in me, but it did not consume me. It lingered in my mind, but I could not feel it. All it did was stop my tears and numb my affections toward my mother. But I had no words to express this feeling. And it soon subsided when we began to hear the drumming coming from the center worship area and the main altar. The three of us then walked toward the edge of the already gathering masses as we listened to the all familiar chant: “Alphae druant decadunt…Alphae druant decadunt…” It continued over and over again, getting louder and louder as the drum beats intensified and became more rapid.