by Croix, J. H.
Chapter 24
A few days later, Hannah finished a morning run, deliberately running until she was exhausted. She tried to scald her thoughts away with a shower so hot she could barely tolerate it. She was just coming downstairs when she heard tires on gravel. Susie’s car came to a stop in the drive.
Susie came bearing coffee and savories. She didn’t waste time once Hannah took a sip of coffee. “Okay, I told you I’d cut you some slack, but I’m backing out. You look miserable. Call Luke and cut the crap.”
Hannah wanted to avoid this conversation. She felt tears well. “I’m not ready for a relationship. Why isn’t that okay?”
Susie’s brown eyes held her gaze, warmth showing through her frustration. “It would be okay if it wasn’t obvious to me you’re avoiding. I watched you do nothing but hook up with losers after you caught Damon cheating on you. You made damn sure not to date anyone that mattered. Whatever…I got it. Then you went the other direction after your parents died…dating no one. You finally find someone worth it, who’s obviously into you, and you’re on the verge of letting it slip away. That’s just dumb. This, this break thing, whatever the hell that means, is pointless.”
Hannah couldn’t help but chuckle at Susie’s earnest concern. She sobered quickly. “I’m confused. I really am. I just need a break to catch my breath and my thoughts. Is that okay?”
Susie gave an elaborate sigh. “No! After worrying about you almost every day since your parents died, I was finally starting to think you made it through and had someone for you and maybe Luke would help me not worry so much about you being alone.” Susie teared up for a second and quickly shook her head.
Hannah reached a hand out to Susie’s shoulder. “I know you’ve worried. And you have no idea how much that means to me. I got spooked by how great it was with Luke. Meeting his parents pushed me over the edge.”
Susie placed her hand over Hannah’s, which still rested on her shoulder. “You sure it’s not that Cristina thing? ‘Cause if it’s that…”
Hannah shook her head emphatically. “No, it’s not that. I mean the whole drama didn’t help when we were at dinner, but I can see her for who she is. It’s just…”
“Just that Luke’s really great and you’re freaked out. Get over it.”
Hannah laughed against the tight feeling in her throat. “Give me a few days. Can we agree not to talk about it just for a few days? I need a minute to think.”
Susie gave her another long look and then shrugged. “A few days. But that’s it. Then we’re talking again. For now, let’s eat.”
Susie was true to her word and let the subject of Luke and Hannah lie quiet. By the time Susie left, the sun was high in the sky. The fall sky was bright blue with wispy clouds high above, a brisk breeze blowing in from the bay. Hannah felt the bite of loneliness again. She held her cell phone in her hand for long minutes, thinking about calling Luke, trying to find a way to explain the confusion she felt.
Chapter 25
Luke came back from a run to find Jared leaning against the counter, cup of coffee in hand.
“Morning. Still some coffee for me?” Luke asked, leaning against the counter as his breath slowed.
“Plenty of coffee,” Jared said, grabbing a mug and filling it for Luke.
Luke took a welcome swallow and looked around. “No one else up yet?”
Jared shook his head. “Dude, it’s not even six yet. We’re the early birds in the family. Dad’ll probably show his face in a few.” Jared gave him an appraising look before continuing. “Not that you mind. Mom’s been beside herself since Cristina showed up last week and blew a hole between you and Hannah. Heard that Cristina booked her return flight finally. If she bothers you again, I’ll make sure she gets a clue and butts out.”
Luke took a long look at his older brother. Jared held his cards so close and was so private about personal matters that it was easy to forget that those who mattered to him mattered a lot. He could be ferociously protective of his family, and despite his avowed avoidance of relationships, his feelings ran deep.
“Appreciate that. No worry though. I’ll deal with Cristina. Can’t imagine she’ll stick around much longer. Shouldn’t have surprised me that she pulled this stunt…but it did. I’m just pissed that she dragged Mom and Hannah into it.”
Jared waited a beat. “What’s up with Hannah?”
Luke raked a hand through his hair. “Not much. She asked for a break the same night Cristina showed up. Saw her the other day…she says it wasn’t because of Cristina. Just asked for more time. Hell if I know.”
Jared remained quiet long enough that Luke looked over. “What?”
“Weren’t even sure about introducing her to Mom and Dad…now you’re cranky about a break. Just sayin’…thought you didn’t want to get tied down.”
Luke battled back at the bite of frustration that kept nipping at him. He was frustrated with Cristina for getting tangled up in his life again, annoyed with his mother for her well-intended interference, and irked at himself for not realizing how important Hannah was before this mess happened.
“Maybe I didn’t for a while there. Wouldn’t be so bad now,” Luke said, looking to Jared. “Don’t know if I can deal with trying to get Hannah back and get Mom to keep her nose out of it while she’s here. I’d better not hear you blabbing to Mom about this.”
Jared tilted his head, eyebrows lifted. “You think I’d do that? Dude, I’ll owe you big-time if you tie yourself down first. Mom just might back off me and Nathan for a bit. Trust me, not a word from me.” He lobbed a balled-up napkin at Luke’s shoulder. It bounced off him and onto the floor.
Luke grabbed it off the floor and tossed it in the trash. “Okay, play interference for me when I need it then.”
“Say the word, and I’ll distract Mom and Dad for hours.” Jared turned to go downstairs. “Off to do some work for a bit.”
Luke took another sip of coffee and headed for the shower. He hadn’t yet allowed himself to think too often about how much Hannah mattered, but saying it aloud to Jared made it real. He considered Nathan’s point that he needed to do something about it and pondered where to start.
A few days later, Hannah sat staring at her computer screen. She was supposed to be working on a project for a consulting job. Instead, she was ruminating over Luke. Despite her hope that a break would help resolve her confusion, she just missed him. She gave up and turned off her computer. As she stood, Jessie got up from where she’d been napping by Hannah’s feet and followed her down the stairs.
Hannah looked out to the bay for a long moment. She wondered what her parents would say if she asked right now. She’d tried so hard to stop disappointing them after they died. Her poor judgment with men had haunted her. She couldn’t seem to find the balance between letting go into something good and the careless choices she’d made. Her cell phone rang. She strode to the kitchen counter, hoping it was Luke. Susie’s number flashed at her.
“Well, don’t sound too excited to hear from me,” Susie said in response to Hannah’s lackluster greeting.
“It’s not that. I just kind of hoped you were Luke.”
“The ball’s in your court. You already know what I think—call him,” Susie said.
“I know, I know. I’m afraid he’s pissed off.”
“Oh my God, just call him!”
“Just give me a minute—I will. That’s not why you called. What’s up?”
“I’m taking the rest of the day off. Let’s have lunch.”
“You got it. Want me to meet you in town?” Hannah asked.
“I have to swing by the store. How about you meet me at my place in about an hour?”
Hannah quickly agreed, and they got off the phone. The call with Susie shook her off the treadmill of thoughts about Luke. She took the next half hour to actually work on the consulting project. Susie was waiting on
her deck when Hannah pulled up.
“Made that call yet?” Susie asked while they drove to town.
At Hannah’s slight shake of her head, Susie rolled her eyes. “Next week is the limit.”
As soon as they walked into the Boathouse Café, Hannah was reminded of Luke. Just as she managed to stop thinking about him, he walked into the café with Jared.
“Well, well,” Susie said. “Couldn’t avoid him forever. It’ll be more awkward if you don’t say hi, you know.”
Hannah glared at Susie. “I know that. It’s not like I don’t want to say hi.”
Jared led the way to their table. “Hey there, didn’t expect to see you two here in the middle of the week.”
Hannah looked to Luke. He caught her eyes, but his gaze was guarded. She couldn’t read what he might be thinking. She wanted to rewind back a couple of weeks and get a kiss from him, instead of the distant, subdued feeling she got now.
Susie had quickly jumped in and was chatting with Jared. They seemed comfortable pretending like Luke and Hannah weren’t there. Hannah took a breath. “Hey there. How’s it going?” she asked.
Luke held her eyes for a moment. She saw a flash of hurt and anger, but it disappeared as quickly as she glimpsed it. He nodded. “Fine. How are you?”
“I’m okay,” was all she could manage. She wanted to tell him she was ready to end this stupid break, but she couldn’t bring herself to talk about that here. She caught Susie’s eye in a moment of desperation. Susie started asking questions that included Luke and Jared, moving the general conversation onto getting ready for winter and how the fishing season went. Hannah fell quiet and wished she had the nerve to ask Luke to talk outside. A few minutes more, and she watched Luke and Jared walk over to another booth. She tamped down the tight feeling in her chest and throat.
Susie looked over at her and shook her head with a soft laugh. “Call that man and stop this stupid break. You don’t want a break and neither does he.”
Hannah groaned and put her head in her hands. “Ugh. I need…oh I don’t know.” She lifted her head and swiftly brushed her hair away from her face.
Susie picked up one of the menus. “Get over yourself and call him.” She started reading the menu and then looked back at Hannah. “Just remember that I’m only giving you a hard time because you’re my best friend.”
Hannah couldn’t help but smile. “I know. I’m getting there.” She glanced around, wishing there wasn’t an audience here. “I forgot that it’s impossible to hide in this town.”
Susie laughed. “That it is. Order some food, and let’s get on with the day.”
Luke slid into the booth on the far side of the restaurant from Hannah and Susie. Jared sat across from him, gave him a wry grin, and shook his head. “So…still haven’t called her yet? Maybe I will sic Mom on you after all.”
Luke rolled his eyes and grabbed a sip of water that the waitress had just brought over to the table. She took their drink order and left menus on the table.
“Could we just let this go for now?” Luke asked.
Jared laughed softly. “Sure. Just get over yourself and call her.”
“Not so simple. Last thing I want to do is pressure her.”
Jared gave him a long look. “Sure, that oughta work out well for you. Ignore her. You barely looked at her over there—not gonna help.”
Luke glared at him.
Jared shrugged. “You got nothin’ to lose except maybe she’ll know that you give a shit.”
Luke casually looked in Hannah’s direction. He had line of sight to her side, so she couldn’t see that he was watching. Her hair fell in loose waves. He missed the feel of her hair in his hands. He sensed that she was tired. The anger he felt a few minutes ago faded quickly. He wasn’t ready to admit it to Jared, but he got his point. He looked away from Hannah and flipped through the menu, hoping to shake loose the tightness in his chest and throat.
Later that afternoon, Luke turned into the parking lot at the harbor. Stepping out of his truck, he heard the hum of activity coming from the docks. While the flow of tourists was slowing down as they entered into fall, activity in the harbor remained steady as some fishermen got their boats ready for winter trips and others were battening down for winter. He started walking toward the docks and took in the view of the water. Gulls called and flew along the shore. A few eagles were resting on dock pilings, looking regal and immense compared to the gulls.
Before he reached the docks, he heard his name. Turning to look around, he saw Cristina walking in his direction. He closed his eyes and gathered himself. Just the sight of her infuriated him. She stalked to him, her booted heels striking the pavement. She stopped a little too close for his comfort. He stepped back, and she stepped closer again. He crossed his arms and waited. In the moment before she spoke, he took a long look. Her hair was perfectly done, even in the wind. Straight, glossy brown locks curved along the line of her jaw. He’d once thought her dark brown eyes were beautiful. He saw that they were objectively so now, but that they held a calculated edge. She lifted her chin.
“So, this is how it ends with us? You just ignore me and let your family run me out of town.”
“It ended with us over two years ago,” Luke said.
“You loved me. I know you did. I think you still do, or you’d be serious with Hannah. Your mom didn’t even know about her. That’s not someone you’re planning on keeping around.”
Luke held still, anger flaring. He waited a beat to get his thoughts in hand. “I loved the idea of you. That’s not who you are. Leave Hannah out of this.”
Cristina smirked. “Too late for that.”
“Don’t you have a plane ticket out of here yet?” he asked, his anger a hot simmer.
She held his eyes for a long moment. “Of course. I can only handle being in the middle of nowhere for so long. I just wanted to give you one last look at what you’re giving up.” She turned and looked toward the water. “Plus—it’s always fun to make somebody wonder.”
Luke followed her gaze and saw Hannah on the beach, Jessie at her side sniffing the ground. Hannah stood in place, looking in their direction. He couldn’t see her expression, which meant she couldn’t see his. All she saw was that he was talking to Cristina. He hated that Cristina had manufactured yet another moment like this and he’d walked right into it.
“Get the hell out of here,” he said. He didn’t even look at her, and turned to walk away. Seconds later, he heard the sound of a vehicle abruptly stopping. Glancing back, he saw Jared’s truck stopped beside Cristina. Jared climbed out and walked around to Cristina. He couldn’t hear the words they exchanged, but next thing he knew, Cristina climbed into Jared’s truck. Jared’s expression was grim. Jared gave him a wave and drove away quickly.
His cell phone rang, Jared’s number flashing. “What the hell is going on?” he said by way of greeting.
“Here’s the deal—I’m escorting Cristina to the airport. I won’t leave until I see the plane fly away. And don’t worry…she’s going. I’ll explain later,” Jared said, his voice clipped.
The line went dead. Jared’s truck sped toward the highway. “I’ll be damned,” Luke said to himself.
He scanned the beach for Hannah. She was nowhere to be seen. He quickly glanced around the parking lot, but saw no sign of her. Her truck was still there though, so he leaned against it, ready to wait her out.
Within a few minutes, Jessie barreled toward him, greeting him with yips. He knelt to pet her, looking up when Hannah reached the truck.
“Hey there,” he said.
She didn’t respond—just opened the truck and tossed her jacket inside.
Luke pushed away from the truck and walked to her side. “Look, if you saw that, you saw me walk off.”
He put a hand on her arm. She shook it off.
“Here’s the thing,” Hannah began.
“I don’t know what to think. Just when I’m about ready to call you, I look over and see you talking to Cristina. I believe you when you say you had no idea she was coming here. It’s all over your face. What’s messing me up is that she must have meant something to you once…and I’m nothing like her. So what the hell do you see in me?”
Between Cristina’s games, trying to come to terms with the fact that Hannah meant a hell of a lot more to him than he’d planned on, and now this, the anger that had started when he saw Cristina bubbled over.
“Seriously? Right now, all I know is that this is a shitstorm I didn’t see coming. Yeah…I was stupid enough to fall for Cristina once. Learned my lesson. Thought I learned it well until you came along. Now it seems like you like to play games too. Forget it.” Luke stalked away. Jessie tried to follow him, and he heard Hannah call his name. He ignored them both.
Luke sat in the boat cabin, leaning his head against the back of the booth. The sun cast long shadows through the cabin. He soaked in the silence. His heart rate finally slowed. He wondered if Cristina had flown away yet. A wave of bitterness washed through him. She’d screwed his life up before and managed to do it again. The events of the last few weeks had reminded him why his plan to keep relationships light had been a good idea. He shied away from thinking about Hannah. A shadow fell across the booth. Luke looked up to see Nathan entering the cabin.
Nathan winked. “See you’re hard at work already.”
Luke couldn’t muster a response.
“Dude, what’s wrong?” Nathan asked. He slid into the opposite side of the booth. “You don’t look good.”
Luke eyed him and shrugged.
“Is this about Cristina? Jared called to tell me he’d just made sure she was on a plane out of town. Thought that would be good news.”