by Croix, J. H.
“That part is. But before that, she managed to set me up for Hannah to see me talking with her.”
“And?” Nathan asked.
“And now Hannah wants to know what the hell I see in her. So I told her to forget it.” Just saying the words out loud made Luke cringe inside.
“Luke—don’t tell me you’re gonna let Cristina get exactly what she wanted if she couldn’t have you.”
“What am I gonna do? Honestly, it’s not worth the trouble,” Luke said.
Nathan slapped his work gloves on the table. “Bullshit. Mope around—that’s all you’ve done since Hannah asked for a break. Don’t be stupid. Mom feels so bad about what happened that even she’s backed off. For God’s sake, dude, if she can do that, you can get over yourself.”
Luke rolled his head side to side against the back of the booth. “I don’t know, man.”
Nathan held quiet and just looked at him until Luke started to get uncomfortable.
“What?” Luke asked.
“Already went over this with you. Before this mess started, it was obvious Hannah was special to you. Even with Cristina, you weren’t like that. Don’t be stupid. Go find her and set it straight,” Nathan said.
Luke sat up straighter. “Damn, you’re just spouting relationship advice. Maybe you should start a column.”
“Fine. Be cranky with me. Hannah matters to you…a lot. Don’t usually bother, but you’re my brother and you matter to me. Remember what I said last week? Get over yourself and make it right with her. No guarantees, but…the way you’re headed, you’re guaranteed to keep feeling the way you do now.”
Luke felt the tightness in his chest ease. He wasn’t ready to admit it, but he just might have heard Nathan’s point. He looked to Nathan, one side of his mouth curling up. “Okay, man. Maybe I’ll take your advice. For now…can we get some work done?”
Nathan gave him a considering look and nodded. “Yup.”
A few hours later, Luke walked back up the dock. Iris was ready to be pulled from the harbor and stored for winter. Nathan had already taken off. Luke headed toward the beach and walked onto the rock-strewn shoreline. The tide was out, revealing a few starfish scattered in tide pools. He absentmindedly kicked at rocks. The endless days of summer were past, and time was quickening as they headed into winter. Streaks of faded purple, yellow, and red radiated out from the sun as it fell low in the sky, about to roll below the horizon. He looked out to the mountains; the termination dust ended in a bright white line against the green flanks of the mountains. There was a bite to the air. He made his way back to his truck, thinking about Hannah every step of the way.
Chapter 26
Hannah looked over at Susie who was glaring at her. “Why am I the one getting a hard time? Luke is the one that said to forget it. Go bother him,” Hannah said. They were seated at the counter in Susie’s kitchen. Hannah had stopped by for dinner and drinks with Susie, Cammi, Dara, and Maggie. The others were in the living room watching Deadliest Catch, a pastime for Alaskans who enjoyed assessing the “reality” of the show.
Susie brushed a curl out of her eyes. “The way I see it—you’re just using this as another way to keep avoiding Luke.”
Now Hannah was the one glaring. “Avoiding what?”
“That you might have a shot with Luke. Finding a halfway decent guy is something you went waaay out of your way to avoid once Damon screwed you over. Luke sure as hell isn’t perfect, but neither are you. So he had the hots for Cristina once upon a time? Whatever,” Susie said with a shrug. “Most of us have people in our past that we wouldn’t be caught dead with now. I’m not saying Cristina’s little stunt wouldn’t have messed with my head. Just saying that you shouldn’t use it as another excuse. Plus—she’s long gone.”
“How do you know?”
“Kinda funny. Jared’s buddies with Officer Thomas—Darren Thomas, remember him? He was a few years ahead of us in school. Anyway, he’s a cop now. Jared got him to agree to issue a trespassing summons if she showed up at my office because we figured she would. He’d have had to if I called anyway, but Jared greased the wheel so it happened fast. She showed up at my place before she went to the harbor that day when you saw her with Luke. She was out of there like lightning when I called the cops. So, when Jared found her at the harbor, he let her know she had two choices: leave with him, or he’d let Darren know exactly where she was. Not like trespassing’s a big deal, but she’d have to deal with it. He even got Darren to follow them to the airport.” Susie smiled slyly.
Hannah was incredulous. “I can’t believe you two did that!”
“Oh, yes you can…you know me. I do what needs to be done. So does Jared. We weren’t about to sit around and let her keep messin’ with you and Luke,” Susie replied with a chuckle.
Hannah sat back and shook her head. “Should have known. Guess I should thank you,” she said.
“Won’t really matter if you keep finding one reason after another to avoid Luke.”
Hannah closed her eyes and took a breath. “Okay…so what if I’ve been avoiding him? He told me to forget it.”
“Oh my God! So you’re just gonna let it go? You had enough nerve to ask for that stupid break. Maybe you can summon the old Hannah, who used to chase off moose and dive in the cove, and ask her to pick up the phone and call him. You’ll never know what he might say if you don’t bother,” Susie said. She sipped her wine and gave Hannah an assessing glance.
Cammi entered the kitchen and refilled her wineglass. She looked between Hannah and Susie. “What’s up?”
Susie waved in Hannah’s direction. “Just trying to convince Hannah to remember that she used to be a lot more daring than she is now.”
Cammi turned to Hannah, nodding emphatically. “You were always the one we could count on to do something crazy, and you never backed down. What’s got you on her case?” she asked, directing her question to Susie.
“Luke. She’s avoiding him, and I think it’s dumb,” Susie said.
Cammi looked back to Hannah and sipped her wine. “I think I’m missing a ton of details, but Luke’s a good guy. And you two were so cute together! Not sure I know why Susie’s on your case, but give Luke a shot,” Cammi said sweetly. She patted Hannah on the shoulder. “And Susie’s right…you seem a lot more…subdued, I guess. I know you’ve had a lot to deal with the last few years, but it wouldn’t hurt to channel that wild part of yourself.” Another smile, and Cammi headed back to the living room, her long gauzy skirt swishing with each step and the scent of flowers trailing in her wake.
“Does she ever not smell like flowers?” Hannah asked.
Susie giggled. “Always does. It’s that scented oil stuff she wears. She loves it.” She paused and looked at Hannah, holding her gaze. “It’s not just me that noticed how you’ve been. Subdued is a good way to put it. You don’t have to be so wild that your parents would freak out if they were still here. I just hate seeing you let something good pass by because you’re too afraid to try.”
Tears pressed against Hannah’s eyelids. She tried to hold them back, but one tear slid down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. Susie reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’ll shut up for now. Just think about what I said.”
The next day, Hannah did nothing but think about what Susie and Cammi had said. She finally cleaned out the shed, her mind whirring over thoughts about Luke as she organized garden tools and sorted fishing equipment, getting filthy in the process. Later that night, she flipped aimlessly through television channels and petted Jessie who curled up beside her on the couch.
The restless feeling that had prodded her into those years of wild, careless relationships and far-flung journeys was just a small flicker. She’d pushed so hard against it after her parents died that she had become almost obsessed with not doing anything risky. And her heart had become brittle behind the walls she’d built around it. Luke
had caused some fissures in that wall, and that scared her. Cammi had offered to perform a cleansing ceremony for her to help her get back in touch with herself. Just recalling Cammi’s earnest offer, Hannah started laughing to herself. Maybe a ceremony would help, but she had an idea of what she needed to do. It was the doing that she had to work up to.
Hannah kicked at a rock in the sand. Jessie ran ahead as usual, tail wagging, and nose to the sand. The breeze off the bay came in brisk gusts. She loved this time of year. Winter wasn’t here yet, but one could feel it coming. The air held a sense of urgency. As a child, she’d loved cozy fall nights by the woodstove, the precursor to much longer winter evenings of quiet and warmth, the cold held at bay. The last few days, she’d almost called Luke about a hundred times. She wanted to apologize for what she’d said at the truck. She’d seen the hurt in his eyes when she’d asked him what he saw in her. She wanted to explain that she’d just reacted to the sight of Cristina—so polished and beautiful, so not how Hannah felt. She also knew Susie and Cammi were on to something. She was avoiding Luke because her feelings for him scared her. She needed to get back in touch with the Hannah that chased moose, dove into the cove in the winter, and had a lot more fun.
Just as Luke crossed her mind, she heard a sharp squeal from Jessie and glanced in her direction. Jessie was running back toward Hannah, her tail flying high behind her. Hannah turned around. Luke was striding in their direction. Her heart kicked up as she walked to meet him.
When he reached them, he knelt down to greet Jessie, looking up with a tentative smile. Hannah smiled back, her heart in her throat.
“Saw your truck and figured you were out here with Jessie. Hope it’s okay that I came over to say hi,” he said as he stood. He dusted sand from Jessie off his hands and jeans. His green eyes held hers for a long moment. She saw uncertainty flash there, but he didn’t close up with that guarded gaze she’d seen the last few times they saw each other. They stood silently for a moment.
Hannah realized she should respond. “I’ve been meaning to call you. Just kept losing my nerve.”
Luke smiled ruefully. “Been meaning to call you too. Took my chance when I saw your truck.”
Hannah started to tell him she was sorry, but stumbled on her words. Luke put a hand on her shoulder. “Hang on.”
She stopped and looked back at him. His hand stayed on her shoulder, sliding down to her elbow. Warmth seeped through her fleece jacket.
Luke took a breath before speaking. “I screwed up the other day. I was pissed off at the whole situation with Cristina and blew up at you instead.”
He appeared to gather himself. “Here’s the thing…didn’t plan on it, but you matter to me…a lot.” He looked away, his throat moving in a swallow. “I’m not so good at this kind of conversation. But…I love you. There--said it.” He chuckled softly.
He looked to her, his eyes wary. He forged on. “I just…just wanted to make sure you knew where I stood. With the things that have happened the last few weeks…thought maybe you should know how I felt.”
A wash of relief poured through Hannah, followed by her eyes filling with tears. She looked to Luke and saw the vulnerability in his eyes and what it must have cost him to tell her this when he didn’t know where she stood. “I’m sorry too. But all I’ve done is miss you and worry that I overreacted to meeting your parents, Cristina showing up, and…” She choked on her words. Luke pulled her close into his arms. She held tight and just breathed him in. She stepped back after a few moments.
She looked to him through her tears. “I love you too. I just hadn’t quite figured that out yet when all that drama with your parents and Cristina happened.” She knuckled away her tears. “I got overwhelmed…” She paused, struggling to explain. “Susie’s been on me about all this. But…you know…I just didn’t expect this to happen so fast,” she said, gesturing between them.
Luke grinned. “Wanna bet if Susie plotted with Jared and Nathan? Don’t want to admit it, but they pushed me in the right direction. You don’t have to be sorry for asking for a break. Between my mom’s pressure and Cristina’s games—don’t blame you for needing a minute.” He tugged her back into his embrace. She felt Jessie rub against her legs. They pulled back, looking down to see Jessie’s wagging tail, her tongue lolling out as she circled them both.
“I should get her home. Do you want to stay for dinner?”
Luke’s smile was wide. “Absolutely.”
The evening passed with pizza, beer, wine, and relaxing in front of the fire. They were seated on the couch, Hannah’s legs resting across Luke’s lap when he turned to look at her. She looked back into his eyes, trying to gauge his green assessing look.
“What?” she asked.
He shrugged and started to turn away, but looked back. “Just wondering.”
“Wondering what?” she asked.
Silence fell between them, a charge pulsing through it. He gave his head a small shake and leaned in for a kiss. She fell into his kiss, the feel of his lips against hers anchoring her as sensation washed through her. She opened her mouth on a sigh. He pulled back and looked at her. He cupped her face in his palms, his thumbs brushing errant locks of hair back. She wanted to ask what he was thinking, but sensed he wasn’t ready to talk. He brought his lips to hers again. Thought was wiped from her mind. Pure feeling took over, and she dove straight into it.
Heat built between them in seconds. She tugged at the buttons of his shirt, baring his chest and running her hands across it. Luke’s lips traveled down the side of her neck. He traced her collarbone with his tongue and followed his way back up her neck, nipping lightly at her ear. She shivered. He started to pull her soft cotton shirt up and paused. He pulled back and glanced at Jessie.
“Feels strange to do this in front of her,” he said.
Hannah followed his eyes to Jessie, who lay still but her dark eyes were open and watching them curiously. “Upstairs,” was all she could force out.
After they stood, Luke briefly checked the fire. Jessie sighed and closed her eyes again when they walked up the stairs. Hannah’s skin felt on fire. Her throat was raspy. She was lost in need for him. He followed her into the bedroom, which was cool. Goose bumps rose on her skin. She heard the door close behind him and felt his hands on her shoulders. He whirled her around to face him and turned them both until her back hit the door. He pressed full length against her and kissed her deeply. She slid one hand up his bare chest and brought the other around behind his neck, her fingers slipping into his curls. Their tongues tangled in a slow dance.
She pulled away to gasp for air. Liquid fire pooled in her abdomen and between her legs. She felt his erection pressing into the center of her. His lips trailed down her neck. He swiftly pulled her shirt up, unhooked her bra, and tossed them to the floor. He moved to the center of her breastbone and left a trail of soft kisses and puffs of air down her chest and belly. His tongue circled her navel. Her breath came in short gasps. She grabbed his hair and pulled him up for another kiss. She pushed against him. He stepped back. What clothes were left came off in a rush. The cool air hit her flushed skin, heightening the sensations flaring through her. Luke pulled her to the bed. He must have felt her slight shiver against the shock of the air and flipped the covers back, only to roll them underneath and cocoon them in the bed.
She sighed into his mouth, reveling in the feel of his bare body, skin to skin with hers. His fingers trailed up her thigh, finding their way into her slick folds. He slid one finger inside of her and brought his thumb across the top. She came in a rush, surprised by the force of it. Luke pulled back, his hand remaining in the moist heat of her. She opened her eyes to find his green gaze steadily watching her. She brought a hand up to caress his cheek. “Don’t stop on account of that.”
She felt his breath against her lips, a small laugh escaping him. “Oh no, not stopping.”
He proceeded to bring her b
ack to the brink, time and again. His hands and lips left a map of sensation across her body. She was desperate by the time he finally came into her. The sheer relief of having him enter her almost brought her to another instantaneous orgasm. He paused for a long moment when he came fully against her. She was stretched tight around him. He brought his forehead to hers. Their eyes met, a mere inch apart. He began to move, barely shifting his hips, rocking slowly into her. She began to come in waves of feeling that crested with each rock. She felt him finally let go. He threw his head back with a final push against her. She pulsed around him. He relaxed against her, their skin damp.
Chapter 27
Luke fell against Hannah and shifted to the side so he didn’t crush her. She murmured something incoherent. They were still joined. She hooked one of her long legs around his hip. He brought a hand up and caressed her hip. He felt boneless, almost weak. Hannah did that to him. Every time. He opened his eyes to look at her. He could see the pulse beating in her neck. Her eyes were closed. A tear slipped down her cheek. He thought to ask and thought better of it. Instead, he lifted his hand from her hip and pushed her hair away from her face. The long waves of her hair were in wild disarray, tangled about her neck and face, and fanned out across the pillows. She opened her eyes at his touch and turned her head to look at him. Her blue gaze pierced him.
“Hello again,” he rasped. He cleared his throat, holding her gaze.
“Hello to you,” she said, her eyes crinkled at the corners. She brought her hand to his cheek, held it for a moment, and then let it fall. The lone tear had dissolved.
He continued to sift through her hair. He thought back to the moment downstairs when she asked him what he was wondering. He’d been wondering when to ask her to marry him. Ever since Nathan mentioned it, the thought had been on his mind. But he held back for now, thinking it was enough that the break was over.
He’d been staring at the ceiling, caught in his thoughts. He turned to look at Hannah. Her eyes had fallen closed again, although her face was still turned toward him. The bedroom was cool. The covers he’d thrown over them created a small cocoon of warmth. He watched her for a few moments, her chest rising and falling. She fell into sleep, her hand resting on his chest, legs tangled with his. He followed her into slumber.