Fake it Baby

by Tia Siren

  “Okay,” I said, “See ya. Good luck.”

  “Thanks. Good luck to you, too,” he said, “We’ll need it.”

  Chuckling darkly, he hung up.

  Turned out Jake was off the mark. Maybe the paparazzi didn’t think our story worthy of actual staking-out harassment, just phone harassment. Whatever the reason, when I left my house, there was no paparazzi, nor was there any as I pulled into work. Jake’s car wasn’t there, but I didn’t wait. I headed upstairs immediately.

  At the front desk, Deidre was eyeing me with a wary look. Both phones were off the hook.

  “She’s in the office,” she said, with a sad darting look in that direction.

  I hurried in and found her. Brooke was balled-up on the office chair, her legs pressed to her chest with her arms around them. Her eyes were squeezed shut, while her pink cheeks with covered in tears. I threw my arms around her.

  “Brooke, I’m here now. It’s going to be okay.”

  She shuddered out another sob, peeking open one red-rimmed eye to look at me.

  “How did they—find out so—fast?”

  Another strangled sob. I moved her head so it was resting on my chest. Then, I softly stroked her hair.

  “I don’t know, but we’re going to get through this, okay?”

  Into my chest, she shook her head.

  “No. This is just what I was afraid of.”

  As she exhaled another wet sob into my shirt, Jake strode in.

  “Oh Brooke,” he said, his face crumpling at the sight of her.

  Sitting down on the floor beside her chair, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

  “I’m so sorry this happened,” he said, “But it’s going to be alright. Mark and I are here for you. We’ll all weather this together.”

  Wiping at her eyes again, Brooke lifted her head. She spoke in a shaky warbling voice.

  “What I don’t understand—is how this could happen? I never saw anyone—not all the times we were together.”

  “I did,” Jake said.

  Brooke and I turned to gape at him at the same time.

  “What?!”

  His head still hung, he spoke.

  “I thought I was just being paranoid. But that time we were walking to lunch, I saw a man ducking into a convenience store. Then, another time in the parking lot, I thought I saw a man disappear around the corner. I figured he was just a maintenance man.”

  “And you didn’t think to tell us?” I sputtered, eyeing him incredulously.

  Jake lifted his head, his brow furrowed with frustration.

  “Of course I did! I just thought it was my overactive imagination. I’m a worrier, Mark, you know that. We were all so happy—I didn’t want to worry you two unnecessarily.”

  Her face trembling, Brooke rose to her feet.

  “Yes, we were happy. But now what?” She cast a miserable look at me, then at Jake. “I’m going to take another mental health day. If this doesn’t call for one, then I don’t know what does.”

  “Wait—Brooke,” Jake said, grabbing her arm, “They still don’t know your identity. You could get off scot-free.”

  She ripped it free, scoffing.

  “C’mon. How long do you think it’s going to take for them to put two and two together? All they have to do is talk to Deidre or anyone at the restaurants we went to. We’re fucked, don’t you get that?”

  I looked at Jake, worried she was taking this so badly.

  She shook her head sadly, collapsing back onto the chair.

  “I never told you what that terrible ex-boyfriend of mine did, did I?”

  Before we could answer, she continued. “At first, he just called and threatened me, showed up at places I liked to go to. I thought that was that—little did I know how wrong I was.”

  She took a shaky breath, then continued, “I found out through Patrick, a mutual friend. How Howlin was passing around pictures of me that we’d taken together. At first, I thought they had to be fake, photo shopped, that it couldn’t be true. I’d never agreed to take that kind of pictures with him. And then,” her voice wobbled, “I remembered.”

  “It had been one drunk silly night. He’d had an empty camera, and I didn’t have any clothes on. He’d say, do this pose, and I did it. He told me there was no film in the camera, and like an idiot, I believed him. I’d almost forgotten about that night, since we’d never talked about it again. Little did I know how much that mistake would come to haunt me.”

  She brushed a chunk of hair that was plastered to her forehead aside.

  “Howlin sent the pictures to everyone. And not just mutual friends—he sent them to every number he had I swear—even my mom’s. Howlin laughed when I begged him to delete them, saying I’d gotten what I deserved and even if he did, they’d be out there forever. Those pictures haunted me. They were there as girls whispered while I passed by. They were there whenever I’d talk to a guy and he would smile that disgusting knowing smile. It was horrible. The shame was unbearable.

  Impatiently, she brushed away more oncoming tears as she lifted her gaze to me.

  “And now, now it’s happening all again. But worse—this isn’t some teenage mistake that people would forget. This is my real life—at my job. I’m an adult now. There’ll be no recovering from this.”

  “Brooke,” I said, reaching for her arm.

  She shook her head, getting up and backing away like a wounded animal.

  “This is exactly what I’ve been fearing the whole time, don’t you see that? I saw just how many articles there were online, how many people were retweeting and sharing the story on Facebook. Now, my mom’s going to know—my whole family is going to know. My life is ruined. I need to be alone right now.”

  Then she strode away. Jake cast a miserable look at me and I glared back at him.

  “What the fuck, man? What were you thinking?”

  Jake could only gaze back at me miserably.

  “I’ve ruined everything.”

  We sat there for a few minutes, glaring at each other.

  “Uh Dr. Teller, Dr. Sawyer?” Deidre’s tentative voice came over the intercom.

  “Yes, Deidre?” I asked.

  “The phone’s ringing off the hook. There are people at the door who want in—patients and reporters. Oh, and I’m quitting.”

  “What?!” I asked.

  “I didn’t sign up for this,” she snapped back fiercely.

  I raced out of the office, just in time to see her gathering her things, with her chin jutting in the air.

  “Deidre!” I said.

  “Goodbye, Dr. Sawyer!” she said, without looking at me.

  And then she was gone. I took a long look around. Deidre had disconnected the phones, while the door was still erupting in knocks. I stormed back into the office and stopped in front of Jake.

  “Get your ass up,” I said, “We’ve got work to do.”

  Chapter 36

  Brooke

  As soon as I left the office, a new batch of tears streamed down my face. Everything had gone from perfect to disastrous in a day. I speed-walked through the waiting room and past Deidre in this shame-faced haze, but heard the chaos and went out the back way to avoid the throng at the front door. How was I ever going to look anyone in the eye again? My stomach was swirling, while my body was shaking with an adrenaline-induced cocktail of anxiety. If I could just make it out of here without being seen.

  One foot out the door into the parking garage, and a flash exploded in front of me. Cameras. I was surrounded by men with cameras.

  “Back at the scene of the crime?” one asked.

  Flash, flash, went his camera.

  “What’s it going to be this time—make out with one while the other watches?” another added, gleefully.

  Bile was roaring at the pit of my stomach. I had to get out of here.

  “I’m their nurse. Leave me alone,” I said, shoving through the crowd.

  “Oh, the nurse!” one high-voiced man crowed, “Knew it—
what did I tell you guys?”

  More flashes. I fought my way through the crowd into my car. My heart was slamming against my chest. Harried breaths were ripping out of my throat. I had to get out of here.

  I threw the car into gear and sped out of the parking lot. Even once I’d gotten out onto the road, I didn’t slow down. My foot digging into the gas pedal, I drove as fast as my car would let me. I weaved in and out of cars, sped through lights, as if I were being chased. Because, in a way, I was. My gut was still swirling with fear and nervousness, and an overwhelming, overpowering slap of shame.

  My last hope had been stamped out completely. Now the reporters knew my identity. Everything was over. My life, my self-respect. I’d have to quit my job, and stop seeing Mark and Jake. Not to mention that their business would go up in smoke after all this wild publicity. Everything was ruined.

  At home, curled up in a ball in my bed, I called Karly. She was over in a matter of minutes.

  “I told Matilda my cat had died,” Karly said with a snicker as she sauntered in.

  “As if that fat ancient poof would ever die.”

  Her words didn’t even produce the whisper of a smile on my face. ‘Floof’ was Karly’s apt name for the fat white poofy cat she lived with. He was lethargic and pissy, although he did like to cuddle.

  “Hon,” Karly said sympathetically, wrapping her arms around me.

  A new wave of grief crashed over me, and I staggered to the ground.

  “Kar,” I said miserably, “What the fuck am I going to do now?”

  Karly extended me a hand.

  “You’re going to get back up.”

  Grudgingly, I accepted her hand.

  “You know what I mean.”

  “C’mon let’s sit,” she said, gesturing to my grey old couch.

  We sat down, and Karly handed me an Aero Mint from her pocket.

  “Got this for you.”

  I barely looked at it.

  “Not hungry. Sorry.”

  Karly frowned.

  “Don’t be sorry. You’ve just blown up all over the internet with this crazy story. I’d be spazzing too.”

  I eyed her dubiously. She was wearing a bright pink shirt and black tweed skirt.

  “If that was supposed to make me feel better—”

  Karly patted me.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. Although your mom has been trying to call me.”

  “Karly!” I shrilled.

  “Okay, okay. I’ll shut up,” she said.

  A second later, she said, “But really, other than your reputation, what is really ruined here?”

  I lifted my head so she could feel the full brunt of my angry incredulousness.

  “Are you serious? How about my new perfect relationship and my new job for starters? Is that not enough for you?”

  Karly assumed an innocent expression.

  “Oh, so Mark and Jake fired you?”

  “No,” I said, frowning, “But—”

  “They did break up with you,” Karly finished.

  “No!” I said, “They didn’t, but you don’t understand—”

  Karly raised her hand.

  “Actually, I think I understand better than you do. Yeah, the situation is fucked, and yeah, your reputation is probably pretty shattered by now. But I also understand that it’s not as bad as you’re assuming here.”

  I grumbled unwilling to cede the point.

  “Mark and Jake aren’t going to leave you,” she said, “I saw myself how pained they were when you were in here upset. C’mon, they agreed to be in a throuple with you, okay? What’s a little negative press compared to that?”

  “A little negative press?” I said, angrily.

  “Okay, okay. A lot of negative press. But I mean it, we both know how crazy they are about you.”

  Karly’s words made sense. But they were just a futile dent in at the tidal wave of anxiety that was crashing down upon me—over and over again.

  “Even if you’re right,” I said, “What about everyone else? My mom is never going to accept this. My family may disown me outright. It would’ve been hard enough breaking it to them gradually, but for them to find out all at once like this,” a sob rumbled out from me. “I’m not going to have any family now, Kar.”

  She squeezed my shoulders.

  “You’ll have me, Brooke. Always and forever—I promise.”

  Trembling, I hugged her, and she hugged me back. Compassionate gratitude flowed through me. For Karly, my best friend for over 10 years. Who’d always been there for me—and always would. Despite how fucking crazy this whole media scandal was, Karly was right. Even if I lost my family, my job, and Jake and Mark, I’d still have her.

  “But in the meantime,” Karly was saying, raising something to my ear, “You better call your mom. I don’t want to be dodging her calls for the next month.”

  In spite of myself, I smiled.

  “I wouldn’t have avoided her calls for a month.”

  Karly raised two dubious perfectly plucked brows.

  “Oh yeah, don’t you remember that time we fought in our junior year?”

  I glared at her, saying nothing. Okay, so maybe I had avoided talking to her for two months, but that was just because her new boyfriend had been a complete ass, a fact which she’d come to terms with a few months later herself.

  “You’re right, sorry,” she said, feigning a sympathetic expression, “You would’ve gotten back to her in no more than three weeks.”

  “C’mon, this day has been insane,” I said, shifting away from the phone, “Do I really have to?”

  “Yes, you do,” Karly said, “You’re always going to have a reason not to call, and it’s not going to get any easier here on out. Besides, your mom’s probably having a panic attack not hearing from you. Do you want her to worry any more than necessary?”

  I sighed, accepting the phone.

  “No, I guess not, but still.”

  Karly pressed a button. I glanced in horror at the phone, to see that she’d just dialed my Mom’s number.

  “Good luck,” she said, just as my Mom picked up.

  “Karly, is that you?”

  Her voice sounded so hoarse and strained, that new tears rolled down my face.

  “No Mom, it’s me.”

  Silence. Then the soft sound of sobbing. My gaze was blurred with tears. I’d never heard my mom cry. Never. Not even on the day my dad had left.

  “Mom,” I said quietly.

  She didn’t respond. Finally, her voice came on the line, in one accusatory rasp. “Why?”

  I was speechless, bowled-over by all the emotion in that single statement.

  “Why?” she repeated, “Why’d you do it, Brooke?”

  “It’s not what you think, Mom,” I said quietly.

  “Then what is it?” she shrilled, “Please, enlighten me, since you and Karly have been avoiding my calls for the past hour.”

  “I never meant for it to end up like this,” I said, “I just went on dates with both of them, and as time went on, I realized I cared for them both very much.”

  A pause, then, “They didn’t talk you into this, did they? Those two despicable men, using their influence to coerce you into—”

  “They didn’t coerce me into anything, Mom. This is something I asked them for. I cared for them both and couldn’t bear to lose either one of them.”

  My mom responded as if she hadn’t heard me, half-muttering and half-sobbing. “I never thought my daughter would be the one to—after all these years, I thought you hadn’t found a good man because of trust issues due to your father. And now it’s played out far beyond my worst nightmares.”

  “Mom, this has nothing to do with dad leaving,” I said. “It has to do with me finding not one, but two wonderful men at the same time, who together make me the happiest woman alive. You do want me to be happy, don’t you Mom?”

  She paused, then her voice came over the line, as angry and bitter as ever. “This isn’t happiness,
Brooke. I don’t know what it is, or what you think you’re going to get out of it, but you can’t be in a relationship with two men at once. You just can’t.”

  I paused. Gazing into the blank black screen of the TV, I found my teary-faced reflection. It looked as stumped about what to say as I did. Maybe it was because there were no words, no real way to explain it. Something like this you could only understand by experiencing it yourself.

  “I’m sorry, Mom,” I said softly. “But I did want you to know that I’m okay now, and that I’m going to be okay. Jake and Mark care deeply for me, and I care very much for them, too. We’ll get through this together.”

  She said nothing, so all there was left for me to do was say goodbye and hang up, which I did.

  “So?” Karly said, taking back her phone.

  “You were right,” I admitted, “I needed to talk to her. It went just about as badly as I expected, but still, at least now it’s over with. I feel good—lighter somehow.”

  She grinned.

  “See? Now we can concentrate on vegging out on Cheetos in front of Clueless.”

  Just then, my phone rang.

  “Hello?” I said.

  “Hey,” Mark said.

  All my newfound confidence evaporated instantly. I hadn’t expected them to call this soon. Not when I hadn’t had more than an hour with Karly.

  “What’s up?” I said.

  “We’re worried about you,” Mark said, “Jake is distraught with guilt. Can you come meet us at my place? We’re cancelling the rest of the work day, too. It’s been a shit-storm of craziness.”

  Silence.

  “Brooke?”

  “Yeah, I’m just thinking,” I said.

  I actually felt pretty terrified about seeing them. Despite what I had said to my mom, and no matter how much they and Karly had assured me that things were going to be okay, I couldn’t shake this feeling that they were not.

  “Are you going to fire me?” I burst out without thinking.

  “Seriously,” I continued, “I’d rather just hear it upfront. I understand you have to salvage your business at all costs, and I’m bad publicity.”

  Mark exhaled darkly into the phone.

  “Brooke, for the thousand billionth zillionth time—we are not going to fire you. Fuck the business, honestly. We’ll get this handled. What is important right now is you. You are what we care about the most.”