Fake it Baby

by Tia Siren

I laughed. “Yes. I guess that’s one response.”

  “Wow,” he repeated. “Really? You really want to get married? You don’t even know her. What if she is just messing with you? You dumped her. This could be her revenge.”

  I shook my head. “I do know her. She isn’t like that. Plus, she keeps telling me no.”

  He looked at me like I had three heads. “What the fuck? Why are you chasing her if she doesn’t want you? She’s told you to get lost and you’re still pursuing her from three-thousand miles away?”

  I let out a long sigh. “Yes.”

  “Maybe you should think about finding a girlfriend. A real one. There are plenty of good women I could hook you up with. Don’t rush into marriage. You’ll just end up losing half of everything you have,” he warned.

  “Not with Mia. She has plenty. She wouldn’t want anything from me.”

  He chuckled. “You really don’t know women. You piss them off, cheat on them or whatever, and they have you by the balls.”

  “I’m not going to cheat on her. Plus, we both agreed we would have an open marriage if our sex life wasn’t satisfying,” I said, feeling confident we had covered all the pertinent details.

  “Yeah, right. Like that is ever going to happen.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. Jaxon wasn’t going to talk me out of it. Obviously, Mia could turn me down, but I was going to make it difficult for her to do that.

  “I want to get married,” I said. “I want to have a family and feel more settled in life. You have to know that feeling. You can’t tell me you are truly happy jumping from one bed to the next.”

  He shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t think I have ever wanted the family thing. Not yet. I still got time.” He grinned. “But I don’t think I am made to be with one woman for the rest of my life.”

  “Because you haven’t found the right woman yet.”

  Jaxon laughed. “Brad, I’ve met a lot of women. A lot of pretty, successful, smart women, and none of them have made me think about putting a ring on her finger and making babies. It just isn’t in my DNA.”

  “Well, I feel like I need that in my life to make me happy. I want Mia. I’m going to grovel at her feet and beg her to have me.”

  He groaned. “Man, you don’t have to grovel. There are about a thousand women right this minute who would be your bride and give you babies.”

  I shrugged. “I want Mia.”

  “Fine. More power to you, but don’t you think you should actually get to know the woman before you decide she’s the one you want to marry? Eleven years is a long time. She could be totally different,” he said.

  “That’s what we’re doing: chatting and flirting, getting to know each other again. She thinks I’m joking about the pact, but I’m not. I just need to convince her she wants me. Shouldn’t be too hard.” I winked. “I’m a catch.”

  Jaxon burst into laughter. “If only you had some self-confidence.”

  “Let’s get out of here. I need the water. I can’t be locked up in a gym.”

  Jaxon groaned. “You always make me look bad when we’re out there. You’re an overachiever. Simply being toned would do, but oh no, you’ve got to take it a step further and be all hard and tanned. It’s really kind of embarrassing.”

  “You are bad, and you could get a tan if you stopped hanging out in bedrooms on your days off,” I quipped.

  “Thanks. That really makes me want to go hang out on the beach with you. The women act like you are some Adonis. It’s kind of insulting. Maybe you could keep your shirt on, give me a chance,” he said.

  I slapped my bare chest and washboard abs. “I work too damn hard to cover this up,” I said with a grin. “The public should not be denied my awesomeness.”

  “I hate you.”

  “Will you be my best man?” I said, wrapping my arm around his shoulders as we walked out. I was taller than him by several inches, which was another point of contention with him.

  “No.”

  “You know you want to. I’m sure Mia will have hot bridesmaids.”

  “No.”

  “Thanks. I knew I could count on you.”

  We parted ways in the parking lot. I made him promise not to stand me up. I loved to tease the guy.

  We met at my favorite spot and headed out for a day of surfing. It was nearly five by the time we finished for the day. Jaxon had spent most of his time on the beach, flirting with women and getting a stack of phone numbers. I realized then he really wasn’t ready to settle down. He was a consummate bachelor. If that made him happy, so be it.

  I was dog tired when I strolled through the doors of my building. I was about to head into the elevator when the night watchman waved me over.

  “Mr. Jones!”

  “What’s up?” I asked, dragging my tired ass toward him.

  “This was delivered for you,” he said, holding out a box with Amazon Prime tape on it. I didn’t think I had ordered anything, but maybe someone at the station had.

  I took the box, looked at it, and noticed it was from New York. Mia had sent me something. I listened to the box to make sure it wasn’t ticking or leaking anything gross. It seemed innocent enough. I smiled, thanked the man, and headed for the elevator. I couldn’t wait to see what she had sent me.

  I rushed to my door and ripped open the package the second I was inside. I pulled out something flat and rubber.

  “What the fuck is this?” I muttered.

  I flipped the package over and realized it was a blow-up doll. I burst into laughter when I pulled the note out of the package.

  “Her name is Judy. Maybe she’ll marry you?” the note read.

  I shook my head, laughing at the woman’s sense of humor. That was the Mia I remembered. She gave as good as she got. I was already thinking about what I would send her in return. I opened the package and nearly took out an eye when the damn doll inflated in my hands.

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket, planted my lips on the doll’s cheek, and snapped a selfie.

  Jealous?

  I sent the single word with the picture.

  I tossed Judy on the couch and went in search of food. I was starving. I looked at the cold beer in the fridge and debated it for a second before grabbing one and popping the top. I took a long drink and let it roll down my throat before looking in the fridge again to see what I had to eat.

  Beer was a splurge for me. I worked too hard to let a beer belly sneak up on me. I pulled out a veggie dish and popped it in the microwave before heading into my room to change. I threw on a pair of sweats and headed back out to the kitchen to grab my dinner. My phone was flashing, indicating I had a message.

  Mia was quite the comedian. She pointed out the many features of my Judy doll, providing graphic images in case I wasn’t sure.

  I thanked her for the help. Normally, I would hate sitting home alone on a Saturday night. Tonight, I didn’t feel alone. I had Judy after all and Mia on the other end of the phone. I was comfortable sitting on the couch in a pair of sweats and watching television.

  Flipping through the channels, I found some stupid old-school sci-fi show and put it on. It reminded me of something Mia and I would watch just so we could make fun of the horrible acting and terrible special effects.

  After finishing my dinner, I settled in with a pillow, stretching out on the leather couch. Mia and I continued to text back and forth. It was late. I was happy to know she wasn’t out at some swanky club or on a date with another man. She was at home, curled up in bed and watching TV as well. After a lot of prodding and begging, she finally told me she was watching her favorite reality show. I made fun of her. She deserved it.

  My day on the waves was catching up. I kept dozing off only to be woken by a text from Mia. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to go to bed. It was only ten, but I was beat. I sent a sweet text telling her I was going to bed and would text her first thing in the morning.

  Her response was a sleeping emoji. It was enough. It was hard to imagine a stupid little yell
ow face making me so happy. The simple emojis were all I needed—for now. I had to see her soon. She hadn’t asked me for any specifics of my trip. I knew she didn’t believe I was actually going to do it. I was. I wanted to surprise her and sweep her off her feet.

  Chapter Twelve

  Mia

  Helga waved at me from across the restaurant. It wasn’t like I hadn’t noticed her sitting next to the window wearing the massive black sunglasses that told everyone she was someone important. I gave a slight wave and weaved my way through the tables to make my way to her.

  “Good morning, Helga. You look fabulous this morning. New?” I asked, taking in her glitzy green jacket.

  She smiled. “Yes. I promised Karen I would wear it. You know, free publicity and all that,” she said, waving her hand as if it was a chore to wear designer clothing.

  I sat down at the table and nodded my head, pretending to understand her plight. “I think it’s very nice. Is it the fall line? I don’t remember seeing that.”

  She shook her head. “Couture.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “Would it be bad if I ordered a mimosa?”

  I giggled. “You’re the boss. You can do anything you want.”

  She sighed. “I wish I could, but I better not. I’m sure I’m supposed to set a good example and all that nonsense. So, tell me, how have you been? Your mom told me you have a new man in your life.”

  Leave it to my mother. “I don’t know that he’s really in my life.”

  “Oh, I hear a story. Tell me everything!” she squealed.

  Now I needed a mimosa. “It’s really no big deal, Helga.”

  She shook her head. “Nope. It is. Please tell me.”

  I drew in a long breath and told her the short version of my story. She was smiling and nodding as I spoke.

  “That’s it? You haven’t seen him?”

  “No. I really think he’s just playing games. Nothing will come of it.”

  She looked at me as if she could see into my soul. “I think something will come of it, and I think you want it to.”

  “No! I don’t. I can’t. I mean, it’s silly. It’s a joke.”

  “What if it isn’t? Can you imagine? A real marriage pact. Here I thought those things had become out of fashion.”

  I laughed. “They are out of fashion because they rarely work. We don’t have to marry to save our country.”

  She shrugged a dainty shoulder. “I think it’s romantic. Is he handsome?”

  “He used to be. I haven’t actually seen him for eleven years.”

  “You haven’t looked him up? Come on, you have to have Facebook stalked him a little,” she teased.

  I blushed. “I’ll admit I used to.”

  “But you haven’t recently?”

  “Honestly, I haven’t even thought about him until he called me completely out of the blue.”

  She nodded. I could tell she wanted to say something.

  “What?” I asked. “I know you have an opinion. Please, tell me. I could use all the advice I can get.”

  “In that case,” she said with a huge smile, “I think you need to give this a chance. I can tell you used to love him, and those feelings seem to be rising to the surface.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think I can trust him.”

  “That’s always the risk. That’s what makes love so special. When you take a risk, you gain great rewards. Love lost and all that bullshit,” she said in a whisper.

  I giggled at her cursing. Helga was usually very ladylike. It was part of her image. When she slipped up, it was always funny.

  “I don’t know if I want the risk. You can’t go back. I’m not the same girl, and I know he isn’t the same. At least I hope he isn’t. Our more mature, adult selves may not get along quite as well as our younger, more carefree selves.”

  “Or you might.”

  I smiled. “Yes, there’s that. I’m not going to worry about it. It’s all a lot of harmless flirting. He has a busy career on the West Coast. I have a busy career here. Neither one of us is going to pick up and move our lives. But I’ll admit it’s kind of nice to have someone who at least pretends to want me.”

  “I bet it is. This is that fun part of a relationship, the early beginning where everything is fresh and new and you can really enjoy it all. I love young love,” she said wistfully.

  I wasn’t sure that was what it was, but I could admit the idea of young love and a new relationship was exciting. I had to guard my heart, but that was easy to do when I didn’t have to worry about ever seeing him. I could flirt and tease via text messaging and relaxed about it all. If he were to show up, though, things would be very different.

  “We’ll see. This is all a lot of harmless flirting right now,” I told her.

  She wasn’t listening or didn’t care to. “When he shows up, I have to meet him. He sounds like a lovely man.”

  “I don’t know if he is. That’s the problem!” I stressed. “He was great a long time ago, but what if he’s become some kind of womanizer and he’s bored so he’s coming back to old conquests?”

  “He’s not,” she said with all the confidence in the world.

  I nodded. “I’m glad you are convinced. It’s going to take me a little longer.”

  She smiled, and we got back to our breakfast. I loved our breakfasts together. It didn’t happen often. Helga was a busy woman, but she was my mentor and someone I could talk to. No matter how busy she was, she always made time for me. She was one of my few friends. It was then I realized I had really shut down after Brad left. My mother and Helga were my two closest friends. I didn’t really hang out with anyone my own age. Even the dates I accepted tended to be with older men.

  I silently groaned. I needed some fun and excitement in my life. That was probably why I had welcomed Brad’s recent attention. I had to get out there. Life was passing me by.

  By the time we go to the office, my mind had conjured up all these different ideas of who Brad was and what he looked like now. Maybe he’d let himself go and had gotten a little plump. The guy had always been so health-conscious; it would be understandable if he relaxed a bit and enjoyed all the good stuff life had to offer, like ice cream.

  I shut my office door, wanting privacy to do a little internet stalking. I had to know. I had denied myself for too long. Every time I caught myself thinking about him and longing to look him up, I would do something else. It had been painful to see those eyes looking back at me. Now I knew I wouldn’t feel that familiar pain. I wanted to see how he had changed.

  I quickly typed his name into the search bar, along with his show’s name, and was rewarded with a page filled with articles and images of the man I used to love. I took a deep breath and clicked on one of the most recent articles. It was a grand opening of some sort.

  There he was! My heart skipped a beat as I looked at the slightly older version of the Brad I had known way back when. He looked the same. His hair was shorter, the curls barely noticeable, but it was still blond. His arms were toned, and his skin was tan. The dark skin made his eyes look even bluer than I remembered. I smiled at the man looking at an elderly woman and grinning. I imagined he was probably flirting with her. He flirted with everyone and especially loved to dote on the older ladies.

  I read several articles about his show. His success was fairly recent. It was only the last couple years that he had become syndicated. Each time I opened a new article, there was a different picture of him. There were signs of a few wrinkles around his eyes and a more mature, defined face.

  I groaned. If the man truly did show up in New York, there was no way I could reject him easily. He was gorgeous. If the man sending the texts was really the man in the pictures, I was screwed. I was going to lose my heart again. That terrified me.

  I drifted out of my office and headed into Helga’s.

  “What’s the matter?” she said, peering up at me over the top of her glasses from her position behind her desk.

  “I looke
d him up,” I groaned.

  She grinned. “And?”

  “And he is going to stomp all over my heart if I let him.”

  “Ooh, that good looking,” she said with a dangerous smile. “I have to see this man. Let an old woman live vicariously through you.”

  “Yes, very good looking, and I’m sure he knows it. He knew it when he was younger and I’m sure the women pawing all over him have reminded him quite often,” I snarked, feeling a little jealous of the women who were likely drooling over him right now.

  It was only seven over there. He was probably in bed with a woman at that very moment. My blood heated with jealousy, making me feel like screaming and smashing something.

  “I can’t wait to meet him,” Helga said, pulling me back from my internal jealous tirade.

  I shook my head. “He can’t come here. He just can’t. How can I reject him and keep my heart safe if he’s here? Those eyes,” I mumbled.

  She was nodding her head. “You still love him.”

  “How can I know that? I don’t even know him.”

  “You do. Your heart does and your body does. Tell your brain to sit down and shut up and have some fun with a handsome young man,” she lectured.

  I wanted to remind her that he wasn’t exactly young and neither was I, but Helga was pushing sixty. I imagined in her eyes we were young, just like I looked back and realized twenty-four was young.

  “Thanks. I still think the best thing would be for him to just not come out here. I can’t handle seeing him.”

  “You’ll handle it fine. Let your heart lead you. If you realize he’s not the man you want, he goes home and you go back to your life. No harm, no foul. You have to try.”

  I let out a long sigh. She was telling me the same thing my mother had. I had a feeling the two of them were colluding.

  “All right. I’m worrying about something that may never happen. I better get to work. I can’t sit around and wonder if he will or won’t. I will not let myself do that for any man,” I said, feeling more resolved than ever. “Thanks, Helga.”

  I left the office and heard her snickering behind me. She was getting a kick out of all this. I was glad she was, because I sure wasn’t. I went back to my office and picked up my phone. I had only gotten a couple messages from him this morning and wondered if he was already losing interest. He had spoiled me with a barrage of messages every morning for the past week, wishing me a good day, telling me how sexy I was, and, of course, promising to do certain things to my body.