Counting on a Cowboy

by Debra Clopton

  She nodded, took Levi back into her arms, and held the now soaked rag tight.

  Bo drove. Laid the gas pedal to the floor and headed for town.

  Levi was screaming. Pops was yelling. And Abby was having trouble breathing. Bo shot her a glance. “Breathe, Abby, don’t hyperventilate. Levi needs you.”

  She nodded and he could tell she fought to get control.

  “He, he hit his head on the . . . corner of the cabinet . . .” she managed, barely audible over Levi and Pops.

  “It’ll be okay, Abby.”

  Town came into view and he was thankful there were no stop signs between him and the nurse’s office. And today was a day the nurse was in town. Wishing Springs shared their nurse with another small town clinic about eighteen miles down the road.

  If Bertha hadn’t been in, he’d have headed to the vet. But one way or the other, someone would have seen Levi.

  Bo was out of the truck and opening Abby’s door the minute he got the truck stopped. He led the way up the steps carrying Levi and Abby hurried to get the door open.

  “My baby cut his forehead open,” she cried as she threw the door open and led the way in. Instantly the receptionist jumped up from the desk. “Bertha!” she yelled and came to help.

  The large nurse came barreling out of the back, assessed the situation in a glance, and motioned for Bo to follow her.

  Stumbling behind them, Abby entered the room and sank into the chair by the door. Pops paced in the hall.

  “What happened?” Bertha asked, her tone brisk but professional as she lifted the dripping rag to see the gash. Instantly more blood spurted straight into the air. She didn’t even have to ask for the thick gauze pad that the receptionist/assistant grabbed from a cabinet and handed her.

  Abby watched them, the horror of the blood from her past haunting her as she sat there. She dropped her forehead to her hands and bit back tears and fought off the spinning of the room.

  It had happened so fast. She’d been cleaning up after breakfast, washing dishes, and letting Levi crawl on the floor. She’d had her back to him when he must have decided the bar stool looked inviting. All she could figure out was that while holding on to the bar stool to stand, he fell and hit his forehead just right on the bottom corner of the cabinet . . .

  Abby began to shake. She couldn’t lose her baby—he had lost so much blood though.

  Her baby . . . Abby’s heart thundered and she cried silently sitting there wishing she could do something. Wishing she’d been paying more attention . . . wishing she hadn’t turned her back to wash the dishes.

  “Are you bleeding anywhere?” the receptionist asked gently.

  Abby looked up, dazed. She wiped her eyes then shook her head and looked down at herself. She was covered in Levi’s blood . . . Her stomach lurched and the room spun for a moment but she willed herself not to faint. Instead she stood. “I’m fine. It’s Levi’s.”

  She crossed the room and placed her hand on Levi as the nurse worked while Bo continued to hold the terrified baby.

  “Foreheads bleed like nobody’s business,” Bertha explained, glancing at her. “It’ll scare the life out of you, that’s for sure. Your baby’s going to be fine. You can stop worrying.”

  And all Abby could do was nod.

  Bo was worried about Levi and Abby but so proud that Abby was fighting the turmoil he saw in her eyes.

  Bertha looked down at the wide eyes of Levi. “Now see there, your mama is here. You can calm down. Mama, take his little hand and hold on while I do this.”

  Levi instantly looked at Abby as if he understood the words and she took his hand and kissed the top of it. Bo had to belt back the emotion that swamped him.

  “It’s okay, darlin’, I’m here,” Abby told his son. “It’s going to be all right.”

  Bo swallowed the lump that lodged in his throat seeing Abby comfort Levi, knowing there was blood everywhere and she was still standing. He loved her. Loved her more than she could even imagine. But was that going to be enough to get through the walls surrounding her?

  By the time they got back home, he’d called Jarrod who, thankfully, had arrived home the day before. His big brother was waiting on them when they drove into the driveway.

  Pops, still shaken, went immediately to the fence to look at the cows. Bo figured it would calm him down just watching the placid animals graze.

  Bertha had put five stitches in Levi’s head, and the poor baby was so worn out from crying he had fallen asleep in Abby’s arms before they’d gotten out of the nurse’s office.

  Jane, the receptionist, had given Abby a clean nurse’s scrub top to replace her bloody shirt and now she wasn’t looking quite as pale as she had.

  But she wasn’t saying much and he wasn’t pressing. He’d told her she’d done good hanging on and not passing out but he wasn’t sure where her head was right now.

  And he was worried that they’d put Levi in his crib and then she’d pack up her things and go home. And the door would be closed.

  “Y’all don’t look so good,” Jarrod said, taking them in with concerned eyes. “Is she okay?” he asked Bo softly when Abby just nodded and walked into the house carrying Levi.

  “I don’t know. This has all been hard on her with the wreck and the blood. She stayed strong from sheer will, I think. Didn’t even pass out. But Levi is fine. He hit the bottom corner of the cabinet at a perfect angle when he fell and foreheads bleed a lot . . . But I’m worried, Jarrod.”

  His brother paused in the kitchen. Abby had already disappeared heading toward Levi’s room. “Bo, let me watch him. Why don’t you take Abby to your place? Let her relax. Maybe talk to her.”

  Bo nodded. “Thanks. You sure you got it?”

  Jarrod grinned. “Uncle Jarrod’s got this. You two take your time off.”

  32

  Bo had insisted Abby leave Levi’s side and come with him. He’d told her to grab some clean clothes so she could shower at his house while he fixed them something to eat. She had agreed only after Jarrod assured her that he’d call if they were needed

  Abby wrapped her arms around herself, chilled and numb. The effort to walk to the truck took concentration. She had to bite her lip to hold back the quiver and hold her emotions at bay. She sat silently looking out the window as Bo drove to his home—a well-kept older home that had probably been on the ranch for a very long time and remodeled. He’d told her it had been on the place when they’d bought a neighbor’s ranch and combined it with the Monahan ranch. She liked it, though she was a little too numb at the moment to really appreciate it.

  Once inside Bo led her to a bedroom and showed her where the shower was. “Take your time. I’ll grab one in my room and get a late lunch going for us. You relax, okay?”

  She stared into his eyes, so concerned, and her heart ached more.

  After he left, she got into the hot shower and stayed there—closed her eyes and let the dried blood wash away. The words that had been clinging to her for hours echoed through the steaming hot spray. Let me go.

  Tears. Deep, drenching tears mixed with the hot spray washing over her, and Abby let her sobs come . . .

  Bo took a shower fast, washing the dried blood off of himself, then dressed and headed to the kitchen. His mind was on Abby and where her mind was right now. He loved her and knew that he would spend the rest of his days trying to win her heart, trying to help her realize that her heart was big enough to love again. He didn’t want to take Landon’s place. He knew she’d loved him and was happy that she’d known his love. But he knew in his heart of hearts that she loved him and she loved Levi. She just had to admit it. Take a risk on happiness.

  He could hear the water still running in the other room as he pulled two steaks from the freezer and put them into the microwave to defrost. Then headed outside to get the grill going. He was glad it was a beautiful afternoon. A cool breeze was blowing, but nothing that would keep them from eating on the porch if she wanted to.

  By the tim
e she came walking into the kitchen forty-five minutes later he had steaks on the grill and some vegetables simmering on the stove.

  She was a little pale and her hair was damp and pulled back in a ponytail. Just looking at her caused his heart to ache.

  “You look better.” He filled a glass with ice. “Tea?”

  She nodded, glancing around his kitchen. “I like your home.”

  He grinned at her as he poured her drink. “I like it. It’s kind of empty right now with me never here, but I still enjoy stealing a few hours here every once in a while.”

  He handed her the glass and their fingers touched. She thanked him and moved to stare out the window to the pasture and the woods out back. He went to stand beside her.

  “Steaks are almost done. Midafternoon that’s a heavy lunch, but there weren’t a lot of choices in my freezer.”

  “I’m not very hungry, I have to admit. But I’ll eat a little.”

  “Whatever you can do. I just knew you needed to eat something.” He opened the door. “Want to sit outside while I flip them?”

  She smiled and went out onto the porch and sat on the deck chair. “Bo, I need to talk.”

  He flipped the steaks, closed the lid, and went to sit in the chair beside her. “I’m here.”

  “I was so scared when Levi was bleeding.” She closed her eyes for a moment.

  “That had to be hard on you. I’m so sorry. But you did great—you didn’t even pass out.”

  The hint of a smile crooked her lips. “I couldn’t, Levi needed me. I had a dream last night. I dreamed that Landon forgave me, told me to let it go. To let him go.”

  Bo leaned forward and placed his hand on her knee. “Are you okay?”

  “I am. I-I can’t guarantee you that a few rough days won’t be ahead. But I realized today that I can deny that I love you and Levi all I want, but that won’t stop it from being true.”

  He couldn’t move. She’d just admitted that she loved them.

  She smiled sweetly, tenderly. “When I thought”—she blinked back tears—“when I thought Levi was dying—because there seemed to be so much blood—all I could think about was that I had denied my love for him. That I’d lost one child before I’d even had the chance to know he existed. And that I was losing another child I’d denied myself the opportunity to love. And that I was pushing you away when all I really wanted to do was grab hold of you for the rest of my life.”

  Bo moved from the chair to his knees in front of Abby and cupped her face with his hands. “I love you, Abby. And I’m here ready to hold on to you for the rest of my life too. I’m here for you. But I won’t push.”

  “Could you maybe start some of that holding right now? I could really use it.”

  Bo didn’t waste any time. He gently pulled her into his arms, pulled her close, and let her head rest on his shoulder as their hearts beat together just like they were meant to.

  And when she lifted her face to his, he kissed her. “You know,” he said after a minute, “you’re going to have a hard time getting out of my arms this time.”

  She breathed deeply, contentedly. “I’m counting on it.”

  Bo grinned. “Well, darling, one thing you’ll always be able to do is to count on this cowboy to hold on tight and love you forever.”

  She smiled and pulled his lips back to hers.

  Later, after the steaks had almost burned and the beans had burned, Bo took Abby back to the house to check on Levi. Her heart was so very full of love for both of them.

  Levi was sitting in his high chair and pinned big brown eyes on her and smiled his wide smile. “Moo-ma!”

  Moo-ma! She stopped in her tracks. Levi had just called her mama . . . it was only appropriate that he’d combine “moo” with the words he’d heard Bertha calling her.

  Abby sucked in air and met Bo’s electric gaze. He gave her that smile. The one that turned on the heat then whacked her with the dimple. Her heart thundered like a raging flood was coming, and it was if she didn’t keep the waterworks intact. She sank to her knees beside Levi. “Oh, precious, precious baby.”

  “Moo-ma. Moo-ma!” Levi chanted, grabbing a handful of her hair and tugging her forward. She got his little grip to release its hold and Bo’s hand wrapped around both hers and Levi’s.

  Abby blinked, Moo-ma ringing in her ears and the feel of Levi’s small innocent fist and Bo’s protective, strong hand securing them all. Tears filled her eyes once more. And before she could speak or move, Pops laid his weathered, aged hand over Bo’s.

  “It’s gonna be a good day to win,” he said, and Abby’s gaze went to Bo.

  Her heart, so fearful yet so full, swelled and she heaved in air trying to steady her emotions. “I love you, Bo. And Levi. And Pops.”

  “Hey, what about me?” Jarrod called from where he was standing at the stove.

  Abby glanced at him over her shoulder. “I love you, too, Uncle Jarrod.”

  He grinned. “It’s good to know someone does.” Walking over he pulled Levi out of the high chair. “Pops, why don’t you and me and this butterball go play in the other room and give these two some time alone.”

  Abby didn’t bother to point out to him that she and Bo had just come from having time alone.

  “Thanks, Jarrod,” Bo said and pulled her into his arms.

  Pops winked and followed the others out of the room.

  “I’m willing to wait forever if that’s what it takes for your heart to heal. I love you. Will you marry me?”

  “I will. But only if you kiss me like you mean it.”

  He smiled. “Always and forever.” And then he lowered his lips to hers and kissed Abby like there was no tomorrow. And in her heart of hearts she heard those same words echo through her and she knew that she was blessed beyond measure to know that kind of love not once but twice . . .

  “Always and forever,” she said with a sigh and held on to Bo with all of her might.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1. Abby has been through tragedy. She’s lost her husband and her child. Why has she come to Wishing Springs? Does she get more than she bargained for? How?

  2. Bo has sworn off dating when the book opens. Why?

  3. We learn early in the book that Abby feels unworthy of a new start. Have you ever felt you didn’t deserve a fresh start?

  4. Bo regrets his relationship with Levi’s mother. Why?

  5. Bo is really shaken up when he finds Levi on the front porch. But he accepts responsibility that Levi could be his and he falls in love with his little boy. He is worried that Maggie and Tru will have a hard time learning that he has a son. Why?

  6. This book deals with some hard issues: the loss of a spouse and a child and drunk driving and the horrible consequences of making the choice to drink and drive. Do you know someone struggling with grief from having lost a loved one due to alcohol? Pebble and Abby both have strong reactions to excessive drinking and the dangers. Do you think they were justified?

  7. Abby felt guilty for what? She had a lot on her shoulders that happened before the wreck. Do you or anyone you know carry burdens like hers? Do you need to let it go? Do you need to talk to the Lord about the problem?

  8. Abby realizes she can love again. Her love for Bo happens despite her not wanting it to happen. Her love for Levi happens this way too. It just takes time to let a wounded heart heal. She could have made the choice to walk away from her new love though. Why do you think she would have done this—because of fear? There are so many reasons to walk away . . . but there were so many reasons to grab hold and envision a different future than she’d planned. Discuss with the group.

  9. One of the reasons Abby had sought to step out in faith and move to Wishing Springs, in an effort to help herself move forward, was because of words she’d read in Maggie’s column. Maggie had said, “Sometimes it takes courage to make a change and take steps to become joyful and seek fulfillment again after tragedy.” Abby believed this to be true and decided to push herself to make the ch
ange. What do you think?

  10. Are you or someone you know going through a storm in your life that is causing you great sorrow? I lost my first husband and walked this path that Abby has walked and so many others. And I know that I found peace in knowing that God was with me through it all. The Bible says in Philippians 4:13 I can do all things though Christ who strengthens me. I know He gave me courage and strength and I just had to let myself lean on Him. When you are going through a storm in your life do you lean on the Lord? Discuss this with the group.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I want to thank my editor, the talented Becky Monds, for her wonderful influence and input into the development of this story, and also, my line editor, Krista Stroever, for her insightful contribution in helping me bring it all together.

  I want to thank the entire Thomas Nelson team who worked to make this book a reality. You are all amazing and your dedication is so appreciated!

  And my agent, Natasha Kern, thank you for all you do!

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Debra Clopton is a multi-award winning novelist first published in 2005 and has written more than 22 novels. Along with writing, Debra helps her husband teach the youth at their local Cowboy Church. Debra is the author of the acclaimed Mule Hollow Matchmaker Series, and her goal is to shine a light toward God while she entertains readers with her words. Visit her website at www.debraclopton.com Twitter: @debraclopton Facebook: debra.clopton.5