Santa Vs. The Living Dead

by Hilden, Josh

  “Lily, get in your room and lock the door!” Maria shrieked when one of the monster people grabbed the back of her sweater and pulled her down. “Hide baby!” she shrieked agony filling her voice.

  Lucy never saw what happened to her family. She ran to the end of the hall, dove through the doorway, slammed and locked the door, slid under her bed, and covered her ears so she didn’t have to hear the screams. She knew what was happening to her mommy, her daddy, and the rest of her family.

  Please, somebody help me, Lucy thought tears streaming silently down her face. Please save me, Santa Claus… HELP ME SANTA!

  Chapter 5

  Santa’s Sleigh

  “Oh this is very bad,” Santa said shaking his head in shock as his sleigh flew over the city of Detroit. “Somebody has been very naughty this year and now all of the good boys and girls are in trouble.”

  Fires burned across vast sections of the dark metropolis and the open areas were filled with the shambling forms of the undead. Even from his altitude, Santa could hear the relentless sounds of gunfire as the humans attempted to hold back the horrors assaulting them.

  Before he could say more the sleighs radio came to life.

  “Santa can you hear me?” the slightly distorted voice of Donner asked. “Santa this is the Workshop, please come in.”

  “I hear you Donner,” Santa replied banking to the left in order to get a view of the Interstate below him. “Old friend, please tell me things aren’t as bad as they look.”

  The line of traffic on the river of concrete was stalled and snarled. Santa could see multiple wrecks and more than a hundred of the vehicles were burning. Like ants escaping the mound, thousands of terrified people fled the walking monsters that’d not so long ago been their friends and family. Santa’s belly filled with icy fear as one by one people were brought down by the enemy.

  “Kris,” Donner replied and Santa heard the catch in the mighty male’s voice, “I think it’s worse than you realize.”

  “Rudolph, take us down,” Santa ordered indicating a small clear spot on the interstate. “I need to see what’s really happening down there.”

  The team captain guided the sleigh toward the ground.

  “How can it be worse Donner?” Santa asked as Rudolph controlled the descent and landing.

  “Santa, it’s all over the world,” Donner replied sounding breathless. “Every major city on Earth is reporting some form of this outbreak.”

  The sleigh settled as gently as a butterfly on the frozen asphalt and Santa stood to observe the area. He was in a pool of calm amidst an ocean of chaos. None of the living or the dead could see him through the magical cloaking field shrouding the sleigh and team.

  What he saw broke his holly jolly heart.

  There may be a being in the infinite Multiverse that loved the human race more than Santa Claus, but he had yet to meet them. For the entirely of his long and wonderful life Santa had done his best to relieve suffering and bring joy. For every one act the humans attributed to him there were a thousand they were unaware of. He couldn’t do everything but he did what he could. Now he was confronted with a problem he’d never considered. But he was Santa and he’d lived long and done much.

  HELP ME SANTA!

  The words, in the voice of a young girl exploded in his mind. Like in the stories by that nice boy from Maine who wrote the scary books Mrs. Claus loved, Santa had a little psychic twinkle. He could reach out and touch the minds of the boys and girls all across the globe, it was one of the ways he complied his list. But it was a rare and special thing when a child could reach out and touch back.

  “Donner, my friend, are you still there?” Santa asked.

  “Yes Santa, what do you want us to do?” the senior reindeer asked.

  Never in the history of the human race had Santa ever considered taking such a direct hand in the affairs of men and women. But there’d never been a crisis of this magnitude, even the plague paled compared to what he was seeing. Decision firmed and joined the mirth that lived in his eyes.

  “Donner, rally all of the herds and every free elf not needed to maintain the village. Get them out into the field. We need to help as many people as we possibly can. Put every resource we have into finding out what caused this and what we might do to fix it,” Santa grunted taking up the reins and indicating for the team to take flight.

  “All right Santa, I’ll get them moving,” Donner replied sounding grateful to have his marching orders. Then he asked, “What are you going to be doing?”

  “I have a good little girl to see,” Santa answered as the sleigh took to the air.

  Chapter 6

  Lucy’s House

  Please Santa, please save me!

  The same thought raced through Lily’s mind in a continuous loop. The darkness beneath her bed was stifling and only the sounds of the monster-people outside of her door kept her from withdrawing from her hiding place. Every couple of minutes one of the creatures would slam into her door and cause her heart to leap into her throat. Hot, silent tears streamed down her pale face. She clutched Eeyore so tight his eyes bulged under the pressure.

  Mommy, Daddy, Gran, Uncle Mark, and Aunt Julie are all dead.

  Lucy was only five but she wasn’t dumb. Last year after her grandpa died she’d been incessant on the subject of death. She’d badgered everyone in her family and her Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Cupp until they were ready to pull their hair out. In the end she was left feeling better about the loss and with an adult’s rational perspective on life and death.

  I have to stay quiet. If I make a sound those things will get me.

  Just as Lucy was beginning to think she might be able to outwait the monsters one of them slammed into her door. There was no way to know if it fell into the hollow cored sheet of plywood or if it sensed she was on the other side, but the results were the same. The sharp sound of splintering wood filled the room and the door was flung open.

  That was when the power came back on.

  The darkness of the blackout was replaced by the mockingly bright and joyous lights of the holidays. From beneath the sanctuary of her bed Lucy could see two sets of feet entering her room. One set was bare and covered in wet sticky blood. The other wore cheerful Christmas themed socks. The socks were covered in candy canes and snowmen. They were socks Lucy knew very well.

  “Mommy!” The word was out of her mouth before Lucy could call it back. Small hands slapped across her mouth as fear exploded from the pit of her stomach and radiated to the tips of her fingers and toes.

  Loud guttural moans exploded from the obscured figures. The sounds of the dead in her room was a lure for the others in the house and Lucy was pushed to the brink of hysteria as a dozen or more wet moaning voices from inside the house joined the chorus.

  I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die… PLEASE SAVE ME SANTA!

  Lucy was a heartbeat away from screaming in terror and revealing her location when the bedroom window was thrown open. Icy, snow-filled air blew into her room followed by the sounds of heavy boots hitting the ground.

  “Ho-Ho-Ho,” a strong friendly voice called out, “I’m looking for a good little girl named Lucy have any of you naughty boys and girls seen her?”

  Chapter 7

  Santa’s Sleigh

  “Rudolph!” Santa called over the blowing wind. “She’s in the second floor, back corner bedroom. I need you to bring the sleigh to her window and hover!”

  The lead reindeer, his nose so bright Santa was forced to don his sunglasses, nodded and changed direction. The eight other members of the team worked like the well-oiled machine they were and in moments the sleigh hovered even with the window.

  “Well now this is no good,” Santa said as the door inside the darkened bedroom flew open. “Perhaps I have something in my sack to help deal with this mischief.”

  Reaching into the massive red velvet bag Santa concentrated hard. The space inside the sack contained everything he could possibly imagine and a
ll he had to do was concentrate and close his hand to retrieve them. Never before had Santa needed an item such as the one he summoned now. The six foot long red and white striped cane emerged glowing with an internal radiance.

  “Yes, I believe this will be sufficient,” Santa hummed softly.

  Locks, latches, obstacles, and barricades were of no consequence to Santa. With a touch of his finger to the tip of his nose the window to young Lucy’s bedroom flew open allowing the cold air to rush inside.

  “Hold it steady Rudolph, I’ll be back in a flash,” Santa said bounding over the threshold and into the house. His boots hit the soft yellow carpet as Santa brandished the staff before him. In front of him half a dozen of the living dead stared blankly with more living dead outside of the bedroom.

  Oh these poor boys and girls, they all used to be good. This isn’t their fault but that doesn’t change the fact they are all on the very, very, naughty list now. The best I can do for them is put them out of their misery.

  “Ho-Ho-Ho,” Santa called out spinning the staff and grinning, “I’m looking for a good little girl named Lucy. Have any of you naughty boys and girls seen her?”

  The creatures groaned and began to shuffle toward Santa. Apparently they were unaware of the bed in the room and looked around in confusion when they reached the barrier.

  “None of you are very bright, are you?” Santa chuckled. “Well that’s a good thing for all of the scared boys and girls.” Then he added sniffing the cold air, “My you all need a bath, you smell like reindeer poo.”

  First one and then three of the dead worked their way around the bed and made a direct line for Santa. The jolly fat man, clad all in red, stood still and waited. He knew the value of patience and he knew there was no need to hurry because they would come to him.

  “I am afraid Santa has to deliver a little holiday justice,” he cried out.

  Swinging the staff around and bringing it down on the head of the first zombie, Santa launched his attack. A sickening cracking sound filled the room and the zombie who’d been Lucy’s mommy dropped to the ground and moved no more.

  “I apologize my lady but sometimes unpleasant things need to be done,” Santa whispered as he advanced on to the next one, which he dropped. Then the next, and the next, and the next until no more of the living dead remained in Lucy’s house.

  “Lucy,” Santa said reentering the little girl’s room, “it’s safe to come out now”.

  Slowly the form of the little girl scooted out from under the bed.

  “Are you alright Lucy?” Santa asked kneeling as she stood so they were both eye to eye.

  Lucy nodded but didn’t say anything.

  “I am very sorry about your family Lucy,” Santa continued trying to gauge the little girl’s level of shock. It broke his heart to see her in such pain. “Would you like to come with me?”

  Instead of answering Lucy threw her arms around the fat man and hugged him tight. There was no way even Santa could take away her pain but his main ability was to bring joy. The hug was enough to break the girls shock and allow her tears to flow.

  Time stopped.

  Not metaphorically either. Much like locks and latches—the forward flow of time was Santa’s to command. All around them the snow, the wind, and the world itself froze in place so that he could give little Lucy all the time she needed to cry. They stood there for a heartbeat… they stood there for an eternity.

  Chapter 8

  The Heritage Compound

  Before this night Chucky and Davey ruled the country. Not actually but they were part of the global elite. They were members of the group of ultra rich and powerful who’d attempted to use the virus to control the human race. To them, regular Americans were simply tools to be used and assets to be exploited.

  Now they were being punished.

  “Cry for me!” Krampus called out gleefully bringing the lash down.

  Long the secret counterbalance to the altruistic nature of his brother, Santa Krampus, relished his job as much as Santa loved his own. Davey and Chucky were both bent over the ornate dining room table in their compound, pants around their ankles. The table, an ancient thing, was worth more than the homes of most Americans.

  “Stop, please stop!” Davey cried as the lash came down on his bare buttocks.

  Chucky just wailed incoherently.

  “Why would I stop?” Krampus asked bringing the lash down again. “Not since Adolph, have I enjoyed dishing out punishment this much. The two of you are so very naughty!”

  Standing over seven feet tall and with a demonic visage, Krampus was the embodiment of the word punishment. As the centuries ebbed and flowed his services were needed in varying degrees but tonight, with the catastrophe these two men and their cohorts had unleashed on the human race, he was blessed with more than he could handle.

  “Now tell me how this all happened, tell me your sins!” Krampus ordered bringing the lash down again.

  It was Chucky who spoke first and when he was done Krampus was left in a conundrum. He punished not because he hated but because he loved. His job was to be the hand of justice and he reveled in it, but now he needed to change tactics. Tonight he needed to be the hero.

  “You two stay here,” he said snapping his fingers. Chains appeared from thin air and bound them to the table. “I have to see a fat man about a mission and then I’ll be back to play.”

  Krampus disappeared from the compound with a loud popping noise. He left only the smell of brimstone in his wake.

  Chapter 9

  The North Pole

  “I don’t care how many of them there are you can’t let them into that school” Donner said into the radio. “Five hundred children are counting on you Hermy.”

  “Yes sir,” the elf on the other end of the radio replied. “We’ll do all we can, if those things want these kids they’ll have to go through us.”

  “They’re doing their best Donner,” Mrs. Claus said from behind the haggard looking reindeer. “You need to cut them a little slack.”

  “I know Martha, but with so much of the human government fallen, our people are the only chance the children have,” he said sounding near the edge of defeat. “If we fail… everyone might die. You should be the one in charge here Martha, I feel like I’m dropping the ball.”

  “You listen to me Donner, you’re doing better than anyone else could and that’s why Kris put you in charge of coordinating things,” Martha Kringle said wrapping her arms around the buck’s powerful neck and hugging him tight. “And I have my own responsibilities, refugees are pouring in by the thousands and someone has to organize and supply everyone.”

  “I just wish we knew how all of this happened,” the elder reindeer growled.

  “I might be able to help you with that,” a new voice said.

  Donner and Martha both turned to see Krampus standing in the doorway. The creature was covered in snow and a devilish grin spilt his face.

  “Krampus,” Martha said rushing over and hugging the shaggy behemoth. “What are you doing here, shouldn’t you be working?”

  “I was and I came upon a bit of delicious information we might be able to use in order to end this madness,” Krampus replied.

  “What did you learn?” Donner asked joining them. One of his assistants, a young elf named Pete, took over the radio station. “I have to tell you Krampus, we could use some good news right about now.”

  “Donner old bean,” Krampus said laughing, “I know how this happened, why it was done, and who’re responsible.”

  “What do you need?” Mrs. Claus asked, she was all business now.

  “I need to see the big man,” Krampus answered.

  Donner stood up straight and squared his shoulders before he spoke, “I’ll take you to him myself.”

  Chapter 10

  Once he’d rescued the little girl with the special gift Santa set out to help coordinate the battles against the dead. There was no time to take Lucy back to the safety of the North Pole, he
already felt a tad guilty about the detour to save her.

  With time and space his to control in a limited degree, Santa went to war with the dead. He was everywhere at once bolstering defenses, rescuing the innocent, and rallying the defenders across the globe. Wherever he went the light and hope of the human race went with him. Because of Santa, bastions held and the men and woman of the world began to turn back the living dead before they reached the point of no return.

  The White House

  “I’m afraid I’ll have to poke you full of Ho-Ho-Holes!” Santa yelled bringing the end of his staff, now equipped with a wicked point, down on the last zombie’s skull.

  All around the oval office zombies lay in smoking heaps. The President, his family, and half a dozen secret service agents stared in shock from behind the makeshift barricade of the flipped over Resolute Desk.

  “Thank you Santa,” the President said coming out from behind the desk. “You have saved my family.”

  “Oh Barry, you and your boys and girls were doing a good job, I just gave a helping hand” Santa replied hugging the President of the United States tightly. “You’re people are in trouble and they need their leader. Now I have a present for you Barry.”