Outside - a post-apocalyptic novel

by Boland, Shalini

  Last night’s storm has washed away our tyre tracks, so we head towards a gap in the foliage. We walk for only a few seconds before finding ourselves back on the narrow main road.

  Gentle birdsong permeates the air and a startled squirrel spirals up a tree next to me. It’s like we’re in a completely different place to the eerie ghost town we reluctantly entered last night. This morning we’ve awoken to the heat-hazed jungle of a lost civilisation. A magical, dappled light plays through the trees and I half-expect to see fairies and goblins or perhaps a unicorn come trotting through the forest. Steam from last night’s rainstorm rises in soft billowing puffs from the drying land and the morning air smells fresh and loamy. We stand for a minute, looking down along the track at the shimmering, half-ruined buildings that have sunk back into the soft embracing earth.

  ‘I don’t think there’s anyone here, do you?’ says Luc.

  ‘Doesn’t look like it. But what if we start up the engine and someone hears?’

  ‘Mm.’ Luc pauses in thought. ‘The thing is, I don’t think it’s a good idea to hang around here for much longer. We’re too close to Warminster. They might come back when they don’t find us to the south.’

  ‘You’re right,’ I say, feeling a momentary braveness. ‘Let’s just go. Come on.’

  Luc looks at me for a moment and then catches my infectious urgency. We run back to the AV, laughing hysterically and almost tripping ourselves up in the process. I’ve got that silly-scared feeling, like when Skye and I were young and Pa would pretend to be a bear, chasing us up the stairs and we’d scream and squeal in terror. Only this time, the terror is partially real. Well on my part, anyway.

  We push up the warehouse door, jump into the AV, breathless with recklessness, and Luc starts up the engine. Bouncing back onto the track, we drive lightning fast out of Westbury, hearts pounding, hoping to God no one’s following us.

  Chapter Thirty Five

  Riley

  *

  One hour on the road and we start to relax and to believe we might have eluded the soldiers. Denzil has saved our lives and we’re indebted to him.

  We drive through beautiful open countryside swathed in rolling hills of pale green, cinnamon and gold, textured like billowing raw silk. Bottle-green woodland pins down the edges of the landscape with not even a hint of autumn in the leaves yet. After our exhausting confrontations and escapes, I suddenly feel exhilarated and untouchable. The road widens out, smoother and less-potholed, so we fly over the tarmac at nearly forty miles-per-hour in some places, laughing at the freedom.

  At this point, I think we both realise our mission is doomed to failure due to a complete lack of information. Also, if I’m totally honest, we’ve got no real plan for what we would do if we did happen to stumble across our fugitive, other than pull out a gun and shoot him, which now seems like another unrealistic piece of fantasizing.

  After a majorly depressed start to the day, I quickly reconcile myself to the fact that there are too many elements beyond my control and the best I can do is to soak up this adventure to the full. Skye would understand that events have conspired to work against us. Perhaps it’s her, protecting us from crossing paths with this evil man. I know we won’t find him. Maybe I knew this all along, but refused to accept it.

  In my new realistic frame of mind, I try to kid myself that what I feel for Luc is circumstantial lust – he’s the only person I’m with, so of course I’m attracted to him. There’s no one else to compare him with. But one glance across at him and I’m in freefall.

  We change places so Luc can have a break from driving. He immediately falls asleep and I enjoy the drive, looking out of the window at the endless scenery. I spot a small bright shape on the horizon and try to work out what it is. It doesn’t look like a helicopter and it’s too large and slow to be a bird. Soon it’s out of sight behind a distant hill. I dismiss it and don’t think it’s important enough to wake Luc. Ten minutes later and I see it again, only this time it’s much closer and I think I now know what it is.

  ‘Luc, look!’

  He opens his eyes, on instant alert.

  ‘A hot air balloon!’ I say.

  ‘What? Where?’

  ‘There, over to your left. I saw it a while back, but I couldn’t work out what it was. It’s amazing.’

  ‘Mm,’ says Luc, stretching. ‘I hope it doesn’t get any closer.’

  ‘What do you mean? Why?’

  ‘Nothing, I’m just being paranoid. It’s just a balloon.’

  But his paranoia is catching as half an hour later the balloon has drifted nearer and is travelling parallel to our route. It’s close enough for us to see its white and orange diamond pattern and we can also make out several figures standing in the basket.

  ‘Okay, I don’t like the look of that at all,’ says Luc. He reaches down into the footwell and takes out the binoculars. I pull over to the side of the road as he looks through the lenses, adjusting the focus.

  ‘There are two, three, four people in there, as far as I can make out. And they’ve got a pair of binoculars trained on us too.’

  ‘What?’ My heart speeds up and I hear the blood whooshing in my ears - a far too familiar sensation.

  ‘We need to hide.’

  I look around. It’s a clear bright day and we’re travelling on probably the only road for miles around in a metallic grey vehicle that’s glinting like a beacon in the sunshine. We may as well have plastered a big sign across our roof that reads ‘come and get us’.

  ‘Do you think it’s the army?’ I ask.

  ‘It would be a bit weird for the army to travel around in an orange balloon, but we can’t take any chances. I don’t want to hang around and find out.’

  ‘Me neither.’

  ‘Let’s find somewhere to hide and let’s do it quickly.’

  ‘We could drive back the way we came,’ I suggest. ‘They must have to go with the wind and they won’t be able to turn as quickly as we can. I saw a track about five minutes back there. Maybe there are some trees we could shelter under.’

  ‘Do it,’ he says.

  I perform a clumsy seven point turn, sweating and apologising as I do so. Luc puts his hand on my arm and leaves it there.

  ‘You’re doing great. They’re probably nothing to do with us anyway. We’re just doing this to be on the safe side.’

  ‘Thanks, I’m okay. It’s just, after those raiders and Grey and the army and everything.’

  ‘I know.’ He leans over and kissed my cheek. Even in my terrified state, I blush and my heart beats double time for a whole new reason.

  ‘I’ll put the shockplates on this time, just in case.’ I turn to look at him and he holds my gaze. I look away first, a jumble of emotions coursing through me.

  ‘There!’ He points. I look and see the roof of an old barn.

  ‘Brilliant.’ I rev the engine up a steep bank and through the trees. There, we find just what we’re looking for - a dilapidated grey stone barn surrounded by trees. It’s really just one wall and a roof with a couple of rusted supports at the front. I park the AV under its concealing roof and turn off the engine. We sit in silence, listening to the faint ticking and clicking of the tired AV as it cools down.

  Hunger distracts us from danger, so we spread the rug out on the grassy barn floor and feast on crackers with marmite and apples from a nearby tree. We pick some juicy blackberries from a hedgerow next to the barn and gorge ourselves silly on them, until our hands and tongues are stained purple.

  Luc takes the binoculars and creeps back on to the road to search the sky for our floating friends. A minute later he returns.

  ‘I can’t see them.’

  ‘Do you think they’ve gone?’

  ‘I don’t know, but we should wait here for a bit, until we’re sure. They won’t be able to spot us from up there anyway.’

  ‘God, that was scary,’ I reply. ‘I was so convinced they were after us.’

  ‘A hot air balloon can’t really co
mpete with the AV. Let’s just chill here for a bit.’

  We lie side by side on the rug in the cool shade of the open barn, listening to the wind sweeping through the long grass.

  We don’t speak and my heart thumps in my chest. I can’t feel the ground beneath my body and yet, at the same time, it feels like I’m connected to the earth itself.

  Luc’s hand is so close to mine that I feel the heat from his skin. And then he moves it the thousand miles required to hold my hand. I don’t know how long we lie here like this, just holding hands. It could be seconds or minutes, but I feel as though I’m dreaming when he reaches over and pulls me towards him. My hair falls across my face, on to his and he smoothes it back as he stares at me with his beautiful blue eyes and kisses me.

  Everything is in this kiss. All the fear and excitement, the anguish and relief. Pure emotion and release. First love. We shed our clothes with eagerness and shy smiles. Luc’s body is hard and muscular to the touch, exactly as I imagined it would be. He kisses my throat and my ear, making me melt into him and discover feelings I never before knew I possessed. It’s a revelation that feels as natural as breathing. I’m like a goddess with a new power and I feel strong. Our gasps and sighs are raw with passion and I’m embarrassed and excited by their strangeness.

  ‘I love you, Riley.’ Luc sighs into my neck. His words are manna.

  ‘I love you too.’ I hear the unconcealed joy in my voice.

  We stay in the barn all day and all night.

  *

  The following morning, I come to in a haze of deliciousness. It’s the first time in weeks I’ve awoken without instantly feeling the heavy realisation of Skye’s death. Instead, I open my eyes to Luc’s perfect sleeping form. He’s lying on his front, with one arm flung over my body and its weight feels so pleasing to me I almost laugh out loud. Instead, I content myself with a satisfied smile and all thoughts of anything other than the past twenty hours are obliterated.

  I replay it all again in my head, savouring every detail and wishing I could confide and confess to someone - a friend, or even Ma perhaps. Or Skye. I need someone to rejoice with me at my new found love, to analyse the possibilities and to reassure me everything is as good as I know it is.

  Soon, Luc wakes up, diverting me from my reverie. He smiles a sleepy smile and pulls me towards him. We kiss again, slowly, deeply, sweetly and I feel his hands on my skin.

  Wish that we could stay here forever.

  It’s no good – there are too many things calling us away from here, too many responsibilities and dangers pressing down on us. We drag ourselves away from the love nest we’ve created and make it back onto the uncertainties of the road.

  Thankfully, we see no sign of any army vehicles or of yesterday’s balloon. We’re motoring in a blur of love. Luc is driving and playing with my hand at the same time. I can’t stop myself from leaning over to kiss his neck, distracting him in any way I can. It’s taking all of our willpower and common sense to keep going, to not stop the AV to jump on top of one another. Neither one of us is concentrating on the road too much.

  ‘You know I wanted that to happen for years,’ Luc says with a big grin on his face.

  ‘Wanted what to happen?’ I know full well what he means, but I want to hear him say it again.

  ‘That.’ He looks at me as if I’m dense. ‘Us. I've wanted you for ages, Riley.’

  I swoon ridiculously at his words. Wanted me. Luc Donovan wanted me.

  He carries on talking. ‘I was convinced you weren't interested. You never paid me any attention; you more or less ignored me.’

  ‘I didn't ignore you.’

  ‘Well, not ignore maybe, but you never talked to me.’

  ‘I was shy.’

  Luc laughs. ‘No you weren't.’

  ‘I'm always shy around people I really like. I'm too scared of looking like an idiot.’

  ‘I like it when you look like an idiot, it's cute.’

  I punch him in the arm.

  ‘Ow! You want a fight?’

  I punch him again, this time softly on the cheek. He swerves the car to the side of the road, slams on the breaks and grabs my arms, pinning them by my side. Then he kisses me hard and we lose all track of time again, oblivious to any of the possible dangers around us, just revelling in the luxury of finally being together.

  A while later, we’re back on the road and all my thoughts are of Luc. There’s a small voice in my head trying to make itself heard, but I refuse to listen. It’s repeating my sister's name over and over and although I know at some stage I’ll have to pay attention to these feelings of guilt, right now I just want to be happy. Is that so wrong?

  At Melksham, we pass a large grey-walled compound and decide to stop and show Chambers’ picture to the guards. We pull up outside some thick wooden doors and wait nervously in the AV for someone to come out. A letterbox-sized opening appears at head-height and a face appears behind the grille.

  ‘State your business,’ comes a bored voice.

  Luc opens his window and holds out the picture, explaining why we’re here. The man beckons Luc forward. Luc gets out of the AV and passes the picture to the guard, along with a couple of silver bits. The guard tells Luc to wait in his vehicle while they check it out. The grille disappears as the opening slides shut. Half-an-hour later, a shout and a hand beckon Luc back to the door. The guard thrusts the picture back out through the bars.

  ‘Sorry, no sightings,’ he says mechanically and the grille closes again.

  Luc and I look at each other and shrug, in growing acceptance of the lack of information. The same story greets us at three further settlements. Some guards are friendly and others are as curt as those at Melksham, but they all have the same response: ‘Sorry, no.’

  We’re heading towards the town of Chippenham. Luc says we’re now well over halfway to my grandparents’ house. I’m excited at the thought of seeing my family, despite the trouble I know I’m in. On the approach to Chippenham, we have to really start paying attention to the route, as we’ve reached a complicated series of junctions and roundabouts and lots of the roads are completely overgrown. There are no signposts anywhere and Luc has to concentrate hard to remember which roads to take.

  ‘This is it, I remember now,’ he says, relief showing in his voice. ‘There are sometimes raiders up on the bypass.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Don’t worry. If we head closer to the town’s compound, we should avoid them. We have to pass under an old railway bridge … should be down here if I’m remembering right … Yep, there it is. I thought we were lost for a minute.’

  We inch under the bridge and around a blind corner only wide enough for one vehicle at a time. The road is clear and we press on towards the compound.

  As we draw closer to the compound walls, we see they’re made from steel, or metal of some kind, with huge rivets all over them. It looks like a massive water tower, but Luc says this is the main Chippenham compound.

  High, square towers, like castle turrets, protrude periodically from the top of the walls and, against the bright sunshine, I can make out the small silhouettes of armed figures on guard. Several gun barrels track our progress as we wind our way past their metal fortress, but no one opens fire.

  Then, up ahead, we see a sight that makes Luc skid to a halt - armed men blocking our path.

  Chapter Thirty Six

  Eleanor

  *

  At the end of September, Tom came home one night with some horrendous news.

  ‘Johnny’s parents were both killed last week in one of the Southampton bombings.’

  ‘Oh no.’ I sat down suddenly, shocked. ‘No! I can’t believe it. What? Both of them?’ I asked, feeling so bad for Johnny.

  ‘Yeah.’

  We all just looked at each other. Nobody knew what to say anymore. It just seemed like bad news on top of bad news.

  ‘He’s gonna be driving back home tomorrow,’ Tom added.

  ‘D’you think I should ring
him?’ I asked my family. ‘I mean, would he even want to hear from me after everything?’

  ‘I think that would be a nice thing to do, darling.’ My mother came over to me and stroked my hair.

  ‘Yeah, but you dumped him,’ David said bluntly. ‘He might not need reminding of that after what’s just happened to his family.’

  ‘That’s a bit harsh, Dave,’ said Tom. ‘Anyway, I don’t think he’d really care about that. He’d just be pleased she cared enough to call.’

  ‘I say call him,’ Oliver shouted over his shoulder from the other room.

  ‘Oh my God, now you’ve all really confused me,’ I said.

  They started arguing amongst themselves, so I left them to it and went upstairs to think about poor Johnny and what he must be going through.

  It turned out I was spared making a decision as he called round about half an hour later to say goodbye in person. David shouted my name up the stairs while I stared vacantly through my bedroom window at a double-glazed sunset. It made me squint and look away; its beauty an irritation. I still felt and looked awful, but I was past caring about my appearance. David shouted again. I heard impatience in his voice and I heard him say Johnny was here.

  I slouched downstairs in my tatty old tracksuit and toxic slippers, my hair scraped back off my face in an unbecoming, curly greasy ponytail. I felt shaky and nervous.

  Johnny stood in the hallway with rounded shoulders and his hands clasped in front of him. When he looked up at me, I could tell he was a little surprised by my appearance. I was shocked by his. He looked haggard, with dark circles under his eyes and his hair grown out into an unfashionable fuzz. He gave me a warm hug though and we went and sat in the lounge, which everyone tactfully vacated, after passing on their condolences.