Can’t Text This

by Hunter, Teagan

  We do an entire lap around the bar before she finally settles down at one of the few empty tables.

  “Guess this one will have to do,” she says on a sigh before waving a waiter over our way.

  A guy who looks like he just stepped off the Jersey shore saunters our way, and there’s an instant spark in Denver’s eyes.

  Looks like she’s found her prey for the night.

  “What can I get for you two beautiful bombshells tonight?”

  Denny falls for his false charm in the blink of an eye. I know he just wants a good tip.

  “I’ll take a shot of your top-shelf tequila and a vodka tonic.”

  “Sure thing, babe.” He turns his attention to me. “And for you, Red?”

  I cringe at the nickname. It’s so overused and so…typical.

  “I’ll take an iced tea, please. Unsweet,” I think to add, nearly forgetting I’m in the south now and these restaurants constantly try to poison me with all that sugar.

  Denver lets out an annoyed huff. “You’re not drinking?”

  “After last time, no. Besides, one of us needs to stay sober.”

  “You’re the DD? I dig that,” the waiter says with a grin. “I’ll be right back, ladies.”

  “How?”

  “Huh?”

  “I said, how? How in the hell are we here for five freakin’ minutes and you already have the waiter drooling over you!”

  “The shortness of my skirt,” I deadpan.

  She laughs and flips her hair over her shoulder. “You look so sweet, but that tongue of yours can be so sharp, Monty. I love it.”

  I wave a hand. “Trust me, he doesn’t care about me. He couldn’t take his eyes off your cleavage.”

  “My, my—did you just say cleavage? I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a profane word leave your clean little mouth.”

  “I can come up with a few profane words right now.”

  She laughs my comment off because she knows it’s not true. “Come on, scan the room with me. Tell me who you’re calling dibs on.”

  “Um, none of them?”

  “No, none of that bullshit, Monty. We’re having fun. You’re going to have fun.”

  “I can have fun sitting at the table,” I argue. “I’m sure they’ll bring me some sweetener with my tea. I can count the packets.”

  Denny fake yawns. “No. Not happening.”

  A tall Latino man with the most interesting brown eyes I’ve ever seen struts up to the table. His hair is cut close to his scalp and his lips are full, kissable.

  “I saw that.” He flashes a white smile at Denver. “There’s no yawning this early on a Saturday night. How about we get you on the dance floor, wake you up a bit?”

  She purses her lips and looks him up and down. “Hmm…tell me your name first.”

  “Right, of course.” He stretches his hand toward her. “I’m Jarred.”

  “Jarred.” She tests his name on her lips. “I like that. I’m Denver. Show me your moves, Jarred.”

  She places her hand in his outstretched one and he pulls her off the stool with little effort. As he leads her away, she grins back at me.

  “You’re next!”

  I shake my head vehemently and her loud cackle mixes with the music, fading away as she gets lost in the crowd.

  The waiter arrives at the table holding our drinks and frowns when he sees Denny is missing.

  “Your girl left already?”

  I nod toward the crowd. “Nah, just found new prey. You’re off the hook.”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “That’s a relief. I don’t play for her team anyway.” He winks. “You ladies just wave or holler when you need a refill. I’m Kayden, by the way.”

  “We will. Thank you, Kayden.”

  He hurries off to his next table and I’m left alone.

  Most people would be uncomfortable sitting by themselves in a crowded bar; not me though. I’m…at ease, solitary but comfortable. I’m in the middle of all the chaos but no one’s paying attention to me. It’s the best of both worlds.

  I scan the bar, people watching like it’s my lifeline.

  There’s a couple making out in the corner of the bar, another arguing, a few other lonesome patrons, and several groups of people who are obviously together celebrating something fun.

  I look toward the bar, eyeing the customers on the stools, and I nearly fall off my own when my line of sight crosses over familiar tattoos.

  His back might be facing me, but I know exactly who it is.

  Robbie.

  His head is bent toward a caramel-haired woman, her face full of laughter. She’s stunning, leggy, and tanned with wild, curly hair. She’s the exact opposite of me.

  My heart sinks.

  It’s not that Robbie’s “mine” or anything—he’s free to do what he wants—but I thought we had something going on.

  You’re jumping to conclusions, Monty.

  I’m right. Of course I’m right. I don’t know her. He might not even know her. It doesn’t have to be a date. She could be a friend. She could be…

  Perfect for him.

  He throws his head back and laughs. She laughs harder, leaning toward him.

  They look so good together, so happy.

  I want to run and cry and bury myself in my bed until I stop thinking of him.

  Instead, I rise from my seat and begin walking toward the bar.

  I don’t make it far before Denny’s sliding in front of me, sweaty from the dancing.

  “Hey,” she says, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the table. “Rule number one of being at a bar: never leave your drink unattended. You could get drugged. Where ya headed?”

  “I was going to the bar.”

  She eyes my full glass then grins. “You were so gonna sneak some booze, weren’t you?”

  “Do you even know me at all? I thought twins were supposed to be all-knowing about one another.”

  “A girl can dream, Monty. Give me that at least. If you weren’t getting booze, what were you doing?”

  “I…”

  Ugh. I don’t know if I should tell Denny that Robbie’s here. She’ll embarrass me, approach him, probably berate him and me for being right about him playing me through texts.

  I don’t want to deal with that.

  My eyes flick toward the bar out of curiosity.

  He’s still there. She’s still there. They’re looking awfully chummy together.

  “Who is that? Do you know her?” She’s craning her neck, trying to get a good look at mystery girl. “Is she someone you work with? She’s ridiculously gorgeous. I need to ask how she gets her hair to stay that curly because damn.”

  “I don’t know her,” I say quietly.

  Denny’s still looking at them. “Why are you being a creeper then? You and that people watching of yours, so weir—”

  Slowly, she faces me, her eyes wide, mouth slack.

  “Monty, is that Robbie?”

  “Y-Yes.”

  “Is that Robbie with another girl? That same Robbie I said was playing you?”

  Here we go. “Yes.”

  “That son of a bitch!”

  She leaps off her seat and marches their way before the shock wears off and I rush after her, though not before grabbing her drinks, leaving mine behind in my haste.

  Denny’s mouth is moving fast, no doubt giving Robbie the business as I make my way toward them as fast as I can.

  I arrive just in time to hear Robbie say, “You’re not Monty.”

  “No shit, Sherlock. I’m her twin.”

  Robbie’s hazel eyes slide my way, the corner of his mouth tilting up in a grin.

  “You never told me you have a twin.”

  I shrug. “You never asked.”

  “Oh, excuse me. My bad. I’ll add that to my list of questions to ask everyone I meet. ‘Hi, great to meet you. By the way, do you have a twin? I need to know just in case I get accosted in public. I have to make sure it’s not you. You get it, I’m
sure.’” Robbie’s grin grows. “What is it with you Andrews gals attacking me?”

  “What? We have not attacked you,” Denny argues.

  “I beg to differ.”

  “Beg to differ all you want, bucko. We haven’t done shit.”

  His lips thin as he tries to hold his laughter back. To me, he says, “You didn’t tell her?”

  “Shush, Robert.”

  “She calls you Robert?” the woman, who I almost forgot about with all of Robbie’s sexiness so close, interjects.

  “We’ll get to that later,” he says casually. “I’m dying to hear Monty tell Denver this story.”

  “How do you know my name?” Denny snaps. She gets so protective of me when she thinks I’ve been done wrong. “How does he know my name, Monty?”

  “Because I told him.”

  “What’s this ‘attack’ he’s blabbering about?”

  “He’s delusional.”

  “He is not,” Robbie says. “He is, however, very curious to hear how you’re going to explain this one.”

  “Robert!” I hiss at him.

  “Montana!” He laughs back.

  “I am two seconds away from throwing this drink on you.”

  His eyes darken, but not in a menacing way—no, it’s sexual. “You don’t even want to know the thoughts that just ran through my mind.”

  I gulp and take a step back—not because I’m afraid of Robbie but because I’m afraid of what I’ll do if I stand too close with him looking at me the way he is.

  Denver lets out a low growl. “Would someone just explain things, please? I’m getting annoyed and I want to slap this asshat already.”

  “Why am I getting slapped?” Robbie asks. Then he shakes his head and waves his hand. “No, no. We’ll come back to that. Monty first.”

  “I hate you,” I grumble.

  He snickers. “Liar.”

  “Monty.” Denver says my name with fire in her tone, and I know she’s reaching her last nerve.

  “I’m with her,” the girl says, pointing at my sister. “I have no idea what’s going on right now and I want to know.”

  “Fine!” The single word nearly explodes out of me. I point at Robbie. “This guy stalked me at the mall last week and dragged me out of a store to kiss me while I was wearing a pair of shoes I stole. He made me steal!”

  Robbie sits there with a satisfied grin on his face and the girl laughs, slapping him on the back.

  “You’re incorrigible, Robbie. Reminds me of something Caleb would do.”

  “Who’s Caleb?” I ask.

  The girl stands and extends her hand my way with a smile. “Hi, I’m Zoe, one of Robbie’s best friends. Though Robbie never told me he made you into a thief, he has told me a lot about you. It’s great to finally meet you, Monty.”

  “I…I…”

  “Thought this was a date or something? No, gross. Robbie’s like a brother, and he’s a dad.” She shakes like she’s disgusted. “As cute as his spawn is, I don’t do kids.”

  “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Zoe.”

  Denny makes a noise and scrunches her face. “So, you’re not a ho?”

  Zoe barks out a laugh. “Not anymore.”

  “So I don’t get to slap you?”

  Robbie crosses his arms over his chest, brow arched, lips turned down. “Afraid not. Maybe next time though?”

  A smile stretches across my sister’s lips. She likes that answer, and she’s so falling for all of Robbie’s charms. “Sounds like a good time to me.” She grabs her shot and vodka tonic. “I’ll be taking my leave then, let you two catch up.”

  As she turns, Zoe says, “Care if I join?”

  “Not at all. I need the secrets on how you get your hair like that.”

  “Birth, girl. It was birth.”

  “Shut up! I love it. I want mine…”

  The rest of their conversation is swallowed by the crowd as they find another table to take over.

  It’s just me and Robbie now.

  His hand slips into mine and he pulls me until I’m standing between his thick legs. His fingers graze my jawline and he tilts my flushed face his way. His touch is gentle, yet demanding, and I love it so much.

  “Hi,” he says once our eyes connect.

  “Hi,” I whisper.

  “Did you really think I was here with another girl?”

  “I…I didn’t know what to think, Robbie. We haven’t exactly talked about seeing other people while we’re doing whatever it is we’re doing. All we’ve discussed is the plan.”

  “Do you think I’m the kind of man to have multiple women in my bed at a time?”

  “Did you just ask me if I think you’re the kind of man to do threesomes? Because those are so out of the question.”

  He laughs and tugs me closer. His hands are on my hips, and the spots where he’s touching me are on fire. “No, not at once—unless that rule can be twisted a bit.”

  I glare at him as he laughs.

  “No, I don’t think that about you. I was just…confused. I had no idea Denver would march over here like she did. I’m sorry about that.”

  He lifts a heavy shoulder. “It’s no big deal. I’d probably have done the same thing if I saw you with another guy.”

  “Yeah? You a jealous guy?”

  “Not at all, which makes me want to start asking myself a lot of questions, but I’ll leave those for later. Right now I want to know if you’re stalking me. I mean, first the shoe store, and now Lola’s again.” He tsks and shakes his head. “I can’t seem to escape you, Monty.”

  “Oh, please. Like you’d want to.”

  “You’re not wrong.” His hands tighten, not enough to hurt, just as his tongue rolls over his lips, wetting them with an inviting glisten. “I’m glad you’re here, stalking and all.”

  “I’m glad I’m here too.”

  “I’m sorry you thought you had something to worry about with Zoe. She’s just a good friend, I promise.”

  His eyes plead with me to believe him, but there’s no pleading needed.

  “I believe you. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Good. I was worried I’d messed this up before we even got started.”

  “Oh, we haven’t started yet?”

  “Baby, what you’ve been getting is just the beginning.”

  I laugh and push away from him, walking around to take the seat Zoe was previously occupying.

  “So, if you’re not following me, what does bring you here?”

  “You, actually.”

  He raises a brow and signals to the bartender without looking away from me. “Color me intrigued.”

  “Denny was complaining that we text too much. She also thinks you’re playing me.”

  “So that’s why I’m getting slapped.”

  “Yes. She’s insane. Ignore her.”

  “That I can do, but I have to ask…why does she think I’m playing you? What could possibly give her that idea?”

  “Because she’s been burned too many times and she’s taking it out on me.” I shrug. “She thinks you’re just going to sleep with me and bail.”

  “That’s a dick move. However, she’s not wrong—I mean, that is our plan, isn’t it? To get to know each other and do our thang to get this out of our systems, bring that first night here full circle, and then move on?”

  When he puts it like that… “Yes. I suppose you’re right.”

  “But you didn’t explain that, did you?”

  I shake my head. “I did not.”

  “Didn’t think so. Can I ask… Why? Are you embarrassed of me?”

  “What? No! Not at all. It’s just… That’s not me, and Denny knows that. If you think she freaked out this time, her knowing our plan would make it even worse.”

  He twists his lips and scratches at his stubble. “I can see that. Fine, I accept your answer.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  The bartender finally slides in front of us.

  “What can I get you?�
�

  “I’ll have another Corona, and an unsweet tea for the lady.”

  The guy behind the bar nods and goes to grab our order.

  “How’d you know I wanted that?”

  “Because you’re safe, Monty, and you’re already sweet, so you don’t need more sugar. Plus, you’ve told me about your tea obsession before.” He winks and turns back to the bartender, who’s already back with our beverages.

  My stomach drops at his words, not because I told him my drink and he remembered, but because he’s right.

  I am safe, and I don’t want to be known as safe to Robbie. Safe sounds boring, and I want to be anything but boring.

  I want to be that girl who has fun at the bar, who meets a new guy, who isn’t afraid to take a leap and do something daring.

  I want to be free.

  “Dance with me,” I say suddenly.

  Bottle raised to his lips, Robbie looks surprised. “You dance?”

  “No, but I can learn.”

  “And you want me to teach you? All I can do is bump and grind.”

  “Bump and what?” I roll my eyes and take a sip of my drink. “Never mind. Let’s just go. If I think about it too much, I won’t do it, and I want to do it.”

  “What a coincidence—I want to do it too.”

  I give him a hard stare. “Pretty sure your it and mine are two different things.”

  “Two can become one.”

  “Did you just backward quote Spice Girls to me?”

  His mouth drops open. “You know the Spice Girls?”

  I shrug. “What? Denny stole the CD when it came out.”

  “Good to know petty theft runs in the family.”

  “Robert!”

  “Fine, fine.” He drops down off his stool and stands tall above me. “Let’s dance.”

  I place my hand in his and he leads us out onto the floor.

  A fast song, one I don’t recognize, blasts through the speakers. Robbie grabs hold of my hips and pulls me into him. “You sure about this?”

  “Yes. Why? Should I be afraid?”

  He chuckles at the panic in my voice. “No, but I will laugh if you’re terrible.”