The Quarterback's Crush

by John R. Petrie

  Tommy leaned forward and kissed me. He didn’t cut me off with words or his hands or by jumping up and running away. It was soft and gentle and a little hesitant. Like he was scared. When he pulled away, he hugged me and whispered in my ear, “Love you, Dylan Porter.”

  The whole table was clapping and cheering. I looked up and saw Chad reach over Mouse to hit Steven on the shoulder. “I told you they were still crazy about each other.”

  Matthew actually snorted a laugh. “Or maybe they’re both crazy.”

  I bit my bottom lip. “Was that okay? I mean the kiss. Was it okay?”

  I heard DeShawn groan. “Man, you got no game. None at all.”

  “What?” I looked up at DeShawn. “I want to know.”

  “Dylan,” Matthew smiled carefully and kindly. “If you’re not sure if you’re a good kisser, you’ll just have to practice.”

  “Will the two of you sit down already, so I can eat?” Allie started in on her untouched food, and Jonny kissed her cheek.

  “Here,” Matthew said to us, standing up. “Take my seat so you two can sit next to each other. I’ve got to get to the club tonight for a midnight show.”

  I looked at him, still holding on to Tommy’s hand. “How are you going to get home? Riley drove us here.”

  “Please.” He tossed the end of his scarf over his shoulder. “I left my car here when Steven picked me up to meet you.”

  “Matthew!” Steven barked. “Shut up!”

  “What? It all ended up exactly the way you wanted it. I’ve got to go.” He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, then Tommy. “Treat each other well. The rest of it will work itself out.”

  He waved at everyone, blew his cousin a kiss, and walked out.

  “Steven….” I turned to him slowly, trying to figure out what had happened. “What was that about?”

  “Well….” He hesitated, looking for help, but no one said anything.

  My voice got a little deeper and more cautious. “Steven….”

  “It was Riley’s idea!” Steven pointed at my best friend, who dropped what was left of his burger on the plate.

  “Hey!” Riley barked at Steven, who kept talking.

  “He got Jonny and Allie and Rick and Robert and Mouse to get Tommy here! And my cousin was the only one we knew who was young enough to make Tommy jealous. All I did was get Matthew to show up.”

  Riley stood up and pointed at DeShawn. “DeShawn wanted to kidnap the two of you and lock you in a basement until you got back together!” He sat back down heavily and stared at his burger.

  “Man, the two of you caved so damn quick, it’s pathetic.” DeShawn looked at Tommy and me. “We couldn’t stand to see the two of you all mopey, so we sat down this morning to figure out what to do.” He grabbed his soda and started drinking. “It’s true. I thought if we locked you two in a room, something would have happened, but Allie said that it was illegal to hold people in a room against their will. So Riley figured a little jealousy might do the trick.”

  Riley took a bite of his burger and then put it down, folding his hands on the table. “Look, I’m not going to apologize for what we did. Maybe it wasn’t my best idea, but I did what I had to do. My best friend was a mess. He shut me out and walked around like a zombie. He was angry and hurt and he cried on my shoulder for about an hour.” He leaned forward. “Tommy. I like you a lot. I see how happy Dylan is around you, and it makes me happy. I think you’re a great guy, but you broke him. You broke him, Tommy. Don’t do it again. Please.”

  Tommy stiffened for one quick second before he got up and walked over to Riley. He held out his hand. “I won’t. I promise.”

  Riley smiled and knocked Tommy’s hand out of the way to give him a quick hug. “Good. Now sit the hell down so we can all eat.” Everyone started talking and laughing and I could hear Rick start talking to Chad about joining chess club.

  Something was floating around in the back of my head, and I leaned over to Tommy’s ear. “Why’d you call me that? At dinner.”

  He held my hand tight. “I had to say something to make you hate me.”

  I rubbed my finger down his palm. “Didn’t work.”

  I only remember three things about the rest of the night. I didn’t let go of Tommy’s hand once he was sitting next to me, and it’s really hard to eat one handed. I remember we all laughed and had a great time, and I remember scrunching down in Riley’s back seat so I could rest my head on Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy handed me a piece of gum from his front shirt pocket, put one arm around me, and held my hand with the other. I smiled like I was the luckiest guy on earth.

  HOW THE SEASON ENDED

  BETWEEN SCHOOL and football, we were lucky if we could squeeze any time in at all. Tommy wanted to keep tutoring me, but it was way too hard for me to concentrate when he was around, so I ended up having Rick do it. As much as I wanted to spend more time with Tommy, I was glad to have football to focus on as the weather got colder. Because his dad would only let us see each other once a week, it meant I had to concentrate as much as possible so I didn’t waste any time.

  The team went through the rest of the regular season, and then districts until finally we got to regionals. It wasn’t like we were undefeated, but we made it through. Maybe because it was the last season so many of us were playing together. Maybe it was because a few of us were being looked at by schools. Maybe it was because we just had some kind of magic, but we were really damn good. We didn’t have a state championship anymore. Somewhere along the line, schools had decided that All-State games would be good enough, and having regional championships instead would help build up excitement from colleges about more players across the entire state. The schools also figured more championships across the state would mean more money for funding. At least that’s what Coach said, when we all complained a few years ago that regionals are as far as we got to go.

  When we headed toward the regional championship game the bus was packed with the team and the cheerleaders. I had my headphones in when Val dropped down in the seat next to me. She carefully pulled my earbud out and leaned over. “Listen, Dylan. I want you to be careful okay? Russell is good friends with a few of the guys on the Bridgefield team. Word is that he asked the guys to take you down hard. Be careful,” she repeated.

  “Where’d you hear that?”

  She tilted her head and her eyebrow. “When it’s not about me, people tell me all the gossip. My brother’s pretty good friends with Justin. You know, Russell’s loyal lapdog on the baseball team.” I nodded, and she put her hand on my knee and patted it. “Just be careful out there. I let DeShawn and Riley know too.”

  “Thanks, Valerie. I really appreciate it.” I kept my headphones off and couldn’t stop myself from asking. “What else are people saying about me?”

  “Oh.” She giggled. “The usual. They can’t believe you’re really gay. They can’t believe that you’d date Tommy when you could do better. Nothing too bad. Well, except for Russell and his crew. Honestly, it’s not even most of the baseball team, but, you know Russell. He’s a jerk, but people are afraid of him.”

  “I couldn’t do any better than Tommy. He’s the best thing that could have happened to me.”

  She giggled again. “I know. I have to say, I think you two make the cutest couple. I guess this explains why you didn’t ever try to hook up with me.”

  “You’re pretty, Val. You know that. It’s just—”

  “Not your kind of pretty?” She pushed herself out of the seat to go back with the other cheerleaders. “Be careful. And win the game too while you’re at it.” She winked at me and walked away.

  COACH’S PEP talk was really good that day. He told us he was proud of us and that no matter what happened, we should feel good about getting this far. The entire JV team had come with us, so Coach could show them what he would be looking for next year, and I could feel how excited everyone was. Nervous but focused. I figured this was how Tommy felt when he was taking a test.

  When we
hit the field, the first thing I did was look for Tommy. He waved, and he and Allie held up a sign they made. In big, bright letters it said ‘Yes! Those are our boyfriends!’ It was really sweet, and Jonny laughed when I pointed it out. Rick, Robert, and Mouse held up big foam fingers, and then Allie blew a kiss to Jonny. We took our place on the scrimmage line, and I was ready when Chad hiked the ball back to me. I took two steps back, looking for Riley or Jonny to be open, when three guys slammed into me. I don’t ever remember being hit that hard, and I could barely breathe. None of the Bridgefield team said anything bad or rude; they only laughed and piled off me. DeShawn held out his hand to pull me up, and I could hear Coach on the side screaming at the ref about “unnecessary roughness” and how that had to be a foul.

  I was catching my breath as we huddled up again. “Looks like Val was right.” I looked at everyone. “I can step out and let Steven take over. I’d rather we win the game than—”

  “No way, Dylan Dog,” Riley snapped at me. “We win this together.” Everyone backed up Riley, and I nodded.

  “Okay, we’re not gonna get the time we need to set up long passes. Chad, let them through. They’ll come at me, I’m going to flip the ball over to you and let them take me down. DeShawn, you’re going to have to cover Chad. Everyone good?”

  The play worked. Well, except for the fact that I ended up flat on my back with the wind knocked out of me again, but we made it to the thirty-yard line. Coach was yelling again, and I took one second to look up at Tommy and shoot him a thumbs-up, so he knew I was okay. It wouldn’t work again, that play, so I figured we’d have to go for a short pass, which Riley caught. We got down to the ten-yard line, and I knew what was happening. Once we got the first touchdown, I turned to the Bridgefield lineman and smiled. “Keep coming after me, dude. The rest of my team will keep scoring.”

  He looked around, making sure no one was looking and then flipped me off. We scored two more goals before they learned their lesson.

  We won 21 to 14.

  I was trying not to be a dick as we shook hands with the Bridgefield team, but I couldn’t help but rub it in that we were the regional champs.

  “Good game, guys. We couldn’t have won it without you.” I felt Coach tap me on the back, and I shut up.

  We could have showered in the locker room and taken some time to relax, but Coach wanted us out of there as soon as possible. He didn’t want any problems with the team, knowing they were targeting me during the first half of the game. Jonny texted Allie, letting her and Tommy and the others know we were heading back and they’d meet us in the parking lot at home.

  Coach gave us congratulations and let us know he’d save the big speech for when we all turned our uniforms in next week. We all knew he’d get super sentimental, so he kept his talk short and sweet and told us to make sure we rested up for whatever sport was coming next. Basketball was starting in a couple of weeks, right after Thanksgiving break. And, of course, we’d have to get through the pep rally as the winning team next Friday. And then Friday night would be the semiformal dance. I realized I hadn’t asked Tommy to the dance. I wasn’t sure if he’d even want to go.

  When we got back to the school, Tommy, Allie, and the others were all waiting for us in the parking lot, sitting on or leaning against Allie’s car. When the bus parked, she came over and kissed Jonny on the cheek as he stepped off the bus. She was going to follow him home, and they’d do what they always did on a Saturday night—fight about which movie to see, toss a coin, and then argue about the movie as soon as it was over. I’d never seen two people who actually liked each other fight so much, but it worked for them, so whatever. Rick, Robert, and Mouse were going to hang out with Steven and Chad and some of the cheerleaders. I’d drive Tommy home and then grab something to eat and tell Dad about the game. But first, I had to ask Tommy about the dance. It was one thing to have people know we were dating. Another thing to slow dance in front of everyone. I waved Tommy over to the side of the bus, and he came and leaned against the yellow metal.

  I rested my arm on the bus right next to him over his shoulder, not realizing until after I’d done it that I’d trapped him against the side. I took a step back, and he reached out and grabbed my jersey. “It’s okay,” he said shyly, almost like he was reading my mind as to why I pulled away. “It’s kind of sexy when it’s you in your uniform. Your championship uniform, I might add. My big, sexy jock.”

  “Dumb jock is more like it,” I mumbled. “Sorry. I should have remembered. No grabbing backpacks and no trapping you against the bus or wall.” We’d talked about that one day.

  “Hey,” he replied gently. “Don’t ever call yourself dumb. It’s not true, and I don’t like it.” He paused and carefully spoke. “I didn’t flinch, so it’s cool. Besides, even though you stink, it is kind of sexy.”

  “Is it?” I blinked a few times. “Do you think I’m sexy?”

  He smiled at me and rested his palm against my chest. “Do you remember when you wore that really tight T-shirt during a study session? You were totally trying to flex without me noticing you were flexing on purpose.”

  “Aw, man,” I rolled my entire head to the sky, before I looked back down at him. “You noticed?”

  “Dylan, you’re a lot of things, but subtle is not one of them.” He moved his hand slightly lower on my torso.

  “Did that make you think of me as sexy?”

  “No.” He must have seen how my face fell, and leaned a little closer to me. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant it, well, it made me think you were charming and sweet and kind. The sexy thing is, you know, you. You don’t have to try at it.”

  I smirked. “Yeah?”

  “Don’t get cocky. That’s not sexy in any way. Not to me anyway.”

  We both laughed and I nodded. “Point taken.” I bit my bottom lip. “Tommy? Would you like to go to the winter dance with me?” He paused, his eyebrows coming together. “If you don’t want to, it’s totally cool. I understand.”

  “That’s not it, Dylan. I was just trying to think of something I’d rather do than go to a dance with you. I couldn’t think of anything.” His smile made the whole night seem brighter. “Yes, I’d love to go to the dance with you.”

  “Come on, I’ll drive you home.” I drove home with one hand on the wheel and the other wrapped up in Tommy’s.

  THE NEXT week flew by, and it was pretty calm. I got a B on my Scarlet Letter paper. I finished my college applications, once I narrowed down which schools interested me. I’d already had interviews with two schools who really wanted me for their football squads. (The other school was focused more on DeShawn, which was pretty awesome for him.) One recruiter even told me that if I went to his school, I wouldn’t be the only gay guy on the team. That was my first choice, because it was pretty close to home. I was freaking out a little bit because it seemed like every school Tommy wanted to go to was a billion miles away, but we both promised we’d figure it out somehow, even with the distance.

  I kept up on my trig and studied hard. I cooked for Dad. I pulled out my one suit and realized the one time I’d worn it before was at Mom’s funeral, and I wondered if it would be okay if I wore it to a dance. I figured Mom would be cool with it and took it to the dry cleaners. I came home from running the track one day and saw a couple more pictures of Mom on our coffee table. I saw Dad looking at them when he was watching the news before bed. Mr. Carpenter, the janitor who stopped me from being hurt worse when I got jumped, identified Russell, from hearing his voice, and told Principal Mathers, who called the police investigating the attack. Mathers pulled Russell into his office and between him and the cops they broke Russell down. He got expelled. Zero tolerance policy. His dad had to try to get him into another school so he could graduate. He’d end up having to take most of senior year over again. Tommy and I never saw Russell after that, but Hannah told me the judge who got his case gave him a hundred hours of community service at the local LGBT center. Justin and Alec never came near us aga
in. Coach told me that I’d been invited to play on the All-State team, but there was no damn way I’d play my last high school game with anyone other than my team, especially since two of the Bridgefield guys made All-State too.

  We all turned in our uniforms on Friday, sixth period (washed and ironed) and Coach gave all us seniors a big thank-you and he toasted us with soda and he didn’t cry, but he did tear up a little. He gave us all a pat on the back as we filed out of his office, and he gave me a quick squeeze on the shoulder as I went by. We all gathered in the locker room, waiting for the pep rally to start and figuring out who was meeting where to carpool to the dance and talking.

  I stood up and looked around the room as they all got quiet. “I just wanted to say a quick thing, guys. The fact that you guys have supported me and had my back is pretty amazing. You guys are my family. Thank you all. I’ll never in my life play with a better team.”

  Riley looked around the room. “Dude, that was beautiful!” He pretended to start crying, and in two seconds we were all laughing. We could hear everyone out in the gym getting ready for the pep rally, and Coach came into the locker room to have us line up, ready to come out when they called. Coach called us, and we ran out to hear everyone clapping for us. I looked around trying to find Tommy, and I finally saw the sign that he and Allie had made for us at the game. I smiled and gave him a thumbs-up. I saw him wink at me, and I blushed and looked away, catching Val’s eye as the cheerleaders were standing on the ramp waiting to come onto the floor. She laughed and then they ran out onto the gym floor, doing some routine. Coach gave another quick speech and they let us go twenty minutes early so we could get ready for the dance. I drove Tommy home, and we made a plan that his mom would drop him off around six thirty, so we could go over to Riley’s, take some pictures and head to the dance as a group.

  I had showered and shaved and put my suit on when Dad came into the room.