Alien Proliferation

by Gini Koch

“Oh. What’s up?”

  “Long distance call from Paris.” Paris was the hot epicenter for us today, apparently. Oh, well, at least it wasn’t Paraguay.

  “What’s wrong with cell phones or landlines?”

  “No idea, Commander. Shall I patch it through?”

  “Sure.”

  There was a lot of static on the line. “Kitty?” The voice was faint, but I’d known it a long time.

  “Ames? Amy, is that you?” Amy was one of my two best girlfriends from high school. She was a corporate lawyer living in Paris and working for a huge company. She also came from money. Charmed life was the phrase that leaped to mind when people talked about Amy. Cool, loyal friend was the phrase that leaped to mine.

  “Kitty.” She was crying. Amy never cried. She also was never dramatic, never sarcastic, never exaggerated, never impetuous, and never held a grudge. We were friends because, I guess, opposites attract. “Kitty, I need help.”

  Jeff pulled his clothes on. They were exactly like the clothes he’d had on this morning—black Armani suit, white shirt. In deference to the time and urgency, he passed on the tie. For any A-C, this represented that he was going casual .

  “Where are you?”

  “The Metro, Gare du Nord, near the trains. I have to get out of here. They’re going to kill me.”

  Well, that was dramatic.

  “Stay there,” Jeff barked. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Is that Jeff?” Amy asked, sniffling. I waited for sarcasm or exaggeration, figuring we might get the trifecta tonight.

  “Yeah. He’s going to get you. Go to the women’s restroom near the main information desk and wait there, inside it.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right. Where do you want me to go?”

  Jeff was on his cell. “Christopher, emergency. Need a gate to the Paris Metro, Gare du Nord, five minutes ago, need you, too. No, near our usual entry point, but closer to the main information desk.” He kissed me, and hypersped out of the room.

  “You heard right. Are you on a cell?”

  “No, payphone.” She was still crying. “Kitty, where do I go?” I repeated the directions, loudly and slowly. “Um . . . I know you do something weird now, but are you kidding me?”

  “No. Look, hurry, they’ll be there in a minute, maybe less.” The phone went dead. “Gladys?”

  “Believe the caller hung up, Commander. I’ve alerted Euro Base. They’re sending two teams to assist Commanders Martini and White.”

  “Thanks, Gladys. How did she get through to you?”

  “She called using an international emergency number.”

  “Huh. Um, I didn’t know we had such a number.”

  “We don’t, Commander.”

  “Who does, Gladys? Tired, cranky, being kicked to death. Make it easy on me.”

  “United States agencies, Commander. Covert United States agencies.”

  “Ah. Okey-dokey. Thanks.”

  So, what the hell was Amy doing with a covert ops emergency number? And, point of concern, had she left the phone to run to the bathroom as instructed, or had she been snuffed?

  I tried not to think about that possibility. I also tried not to think about the fact that Jeff and I had had some wild sex in the same place he was going to be with Amy. He wasn’t the only one who had a few jealousy or confidence issues.

  Not that he had any real reason. He was the classic—tall, dark, wavy hair, light brown eyes, great features, killer smile—so handsome. And then there was his body. Broad shoulders, totally built, ripped, but not overly muscled like a bodybuilder, six-pack abs, awesome pecs and biceps, great legs, fabulous butt, hung like a horse. I hoped he’d get home soon. According to all the medical data, it was still safe to do the dirty deed. And, by now, I was ready. Of course, I was always ready. Any time I wasn’t, I just had to look at him and, presto, ready.

  Of course, I was still sort of surprised he was interested in sex with me at all any more. I looked like I’d stuck a tube up and inflated my stomach to clown-level proportions. The rest of me wasn’t totally porked out, but you sure couldn’t tell that I’d run track all through high school and college, nor that I could do any form of kung fu other than Cow Wallows in the Mud.

  Supposedly my skin was glowing, my hair was more luxurious, and my eyes were sparkling. I guess. I looked blotchy, scraggly, and tired, at least whenever I risked a look in the mirror these days.

  Between worrying about Amy, listing how crappy I looked, wondering if Jeff and Christopher were going to be okay, and hoping Jeff didn’t think about our time in the Metro bathroom with the wrong kind of nostalgia, I was crying in short order. This was guaranteed to make me look worse than like crap, but I hadn’t been able to control any emotion for the last six months, especially when I was tired.

  There was a knock at the door. I almost shouted for them to come in, then I stopped and considered.

  Jeff wouldn’t knock. Neither would Christopher, come to think of it. As Jeff’s cousin and best friend, he had certain leeway with the niceties. As the head of Imageering, he also had the right to enter if he felt there was a risk. Plus, we were all almost totally past the time he’d ravaged me in the elevator. Jeff hadn’t brought it up for months, and Christopher and I had gotten to where we didn’t feel like we had to act like opposing magnets if we were near each other. I was pretty sure he was over me. I knew I was over him—I had been for a long time. Besides, for me, in the choice between Jeff and Christopher, my decision had been made even before the ravaging moment. The aftermath of that incident had merely confirmed who I was in love with.

  The knocking continued. I realized I’d wandered off into my own little dreamland there, which was happening more and more. Of course, the idea of getting up and walking through two rooms to get the door seemed like a lot of work. I got a weird feeling.

  “Com on.” Jeff had installed the A-C version of “the Clapper” for me the day after Tito had insisted on bed rest.

  “Yes, Commander Martini?”

  “Gladys, someone’s knocking at my door.”

  “Politeness is, as you may recall, an A-C trait.”

  “Yes, great. But here’s the thing—everyone knows I’m on bed rest. And Jeff isn’t here. Even if he were back, he wouldn’t be knocking. None of Alpha or Airborne knock, or at least, they don’t knock and then keep on knocking when I don’t come to the door.” Earlier today, as an example, everyone knocked and then came right on in, because everyone knew I wasn’t coming to the door in anything resembling a hurry.

  “Security on the way.”

  “Good. ’Cause that big old unused for anything but sneaking in drainage pipe is right by my door.”

  “Security is on the way, Commander. And, let me remind you, again, that we secured said pipe during your introductory mission, and it’s been secured ever since. Your mother confirms this every month, which you, somehow, forget.”

  “And I’m alone. And very pregnant. And extremely freaked out right now.”

  “Yes, Commander, I’m picking that up. Security is on the way.”

  “Are they hyperspeeding?”

  “Yes.”

  “I ask because the knocking is still going on.” I was full on freaked now. Well, I did have a defense that I didn’t have to get up to get. “Harlie, Poofikins, come to Kitty.”

  Our royal pets purred and leaped from their Poof Condo onto my lap. No one was more shocked to discover he was in line for a throne than Jeff. He’d given it up to stay with me on Earth. I got all misty thinking about it.

  The knocking got louder. Wow, off on that daydream tangent again. But back to reality and a higher level of being totally freaked out. The Poofs picked up my fear, because they went huge. They weren’t growling, but they were ready.

  I heard noises, and the knocking stopped. Then there was silence. And then the knocking started again.

  “Com on.”

  “Yes, Commander?”

  “Gladys? Have your Securit
y guys checked in?”

  “No. Are they with you?” I heard concern in her voice, faint, but there.

  “No. I just heard scuffling and then silence and now the knocking again. I’m thinking there’s something really beyond horrible outside my door, and I’m also afraid that Jeff’s going to walk into it, or worse. And God alone knows what’s happened to the Security guys. Bottom line—I’m about to have total horror movie hysterics in here.”

  “Sending a larger complement of Security. Com line will remain open.”

  “Great.” The knocking continued. It was louder and more insistent. “Maybe it’s a vampire. They can’t come in unless they’re invited.”

  “Vampires don’t exist, Commander.”

  “Neither do aliens, if you ask the general public.” I cuddled next to Poofikins. I hated feeling helpless. But Jeff had taken my Glock away, because I always forgot to set the safety for one, and because I’d gone into one of those daydream things when I’d been putting a clip in for the other. So, no gun. Couldn’t do the most basic of kung fu moves. Couldn’t run. Could barely walk. Could cry and freak out. Not exactly “stop the psycho killer” options.

  My cell was on the nightstand. When in terror, my motto was to share the fun. And, when sharing the fun, if my husband’s unavailable, my other motto was to pick one of your best friends first. My other motto was to pick the friend who wouldn’t cause my husband to have a conniption fit.

  Dialed, got a very sleepy James Reader on the other end. “Girlfriend, what’s up and why are you calling me at this unreal time?”

  “James, um, I don’t want you to come down here.”

  “No worries, babe. I’ll just go back to sleep, okay?”

  “No, um, I’m really scared.”

  “Isn’t Jeff the one who should have to deal with your nightmares?”

  “If he were here, yeah.” I filled him in on what had transpired.

  “Gladys is on the com?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you called me.”

  “Yes.”

  “I feel special.”

  “You are.”

  “Is the knocking still going on?”

  “Yes.” I looked at the wall where the com was located. “Gladys? What’s the Security status?”

  There was no response.

  CHAPTER 9

  “JAMES? I THINK WE ARE in extreme, terrifying danger. Please activate your Poof.”

  “I wish you were kidding.”

  “I’m not, I’m really and truly not. Gladys isn’t answering on the com, and she’d left it open.”

  Reader cursed. “Okay, hang on.” I heard him waking someone else up. The someone else was Gower. “Okay, Paul’s awake. And this is fun—something’s knocking at our door, too.”

  “Don’t answer it!”

  “Yeah, clear.” He was quiet for a moment. “You think it’s a vampire?”

  “I suggested that to Gladys! She said they didn’t exist.”

  “Yeah, well, they probably don’t.”

  “I’m really beyond scared. Oh, God, what if Jeff comes back and whatever it is eats him?”

  “Hang on.” I could hear Reader telling Gower to call Jeff or Christopher. “Okay, Paul got hold of Christopher. They have your friend. She didn’t make it to the bathroom, but they got to her before the thugs after her dragged her off. But they have to get to another gate.”

  “Gladys said she called in Euro teams.”

  “Really? Trading phones, tell Paul.”

  “Kitty? This is surreal. You still okay?”

  “Yeah, just freaked. The knocking isn’t stopping. Did Christopher say there were other teams with them?”

  “No. It’s just him and Jeff with your friend.” I told him what Gladys had said. “Okay, got it, trading phones back.”

  “James? The Pontifex is in danger.”

  “Yeah, great, but we can’t leave our rooms, and Security’s been breached.”

  “Okay . . . I’ll be a big girl and call Richard.”

  “No, I want you staying on the phone with me.”

  “But I want Paul staying on with Christopher.”

  I heard Reader talking to Gower. “Okay, fixed. Jeff’s calling Richard. And . . . he’s got him. He’s in his room, he called Security first, got no response, so didn’t go to the door. He’s got the knocking, too.”

  The realization that we were all in some sort of cell phone round robin would have been funny if I weren’t scared out of my mind. The baby picked it up, of course, and she was kicking and moving like crazy. I rubbed my stomach. “It’s okay, Jamie,” I said quietly.

  “Um, Kitty? We’re not pretending to be lovers, are we?” Reader sounded confused. Jamie was the pet name Gower had for him, and I only used it if we were doing something covert to save our lives, as a clue that things were off.

  Thing was, I’d figured we were having a girl the moment Jeff started showing his worry, and Reader had become my best friend in my new life. That I was best friends with the former top international male supermodel never failed to amaze me, but we had a tremendous amount in common, however odd that seemed. Our joke was that if he were straight, we’d have gotten married and left all the alien stuff behind us.

  He’d almost died right before Jeff and I got married, had recovered miraculously, and pretty much created our dream wedding in two days, out of nothing. Next to Jeff, my parents, and Chuckie, there was no one I loved more than Reader. And Reader, being gay, didn’t really make Jeff’s jealousy meter go off the scales.

  Once Jeff had told me I was pregnant, I’d wanted to name the baby after Reader—James Jeffrey if it was a boy, Jamie . . . something . . . if it was a girl. I hadn’t mentioned this to Jeff yet, for a variety of reasons, keeping the jealousy meter on low in regard to Reader being one of them.

  “Uh, I was talking to the baby.”

  “You’re naming it Jamie?” He sounded funny.

  “I want to, yeah. I think I’m having a girl, so Jamie.”

  “Oh.” He still sounded funny.

  “Is that okay?” It hadn’t occurred to me that he might not like the idea.

  “Yeah.” I heard a sniff. “That’s great. Jeff know?”

  “Not so much.”

  He laughed. “Okay, well, then I won’t count on it.”

  “No, as long as you don’t mind, I mean, really don’t mind, I’m naming the baby Jamie. I call her that all the time when Jeff’s not around.”

  “I don’t mind at all. I . . .” His voice trailed off, and I heard what sounded like a nose being blown. “I’m really flattered. Just kind of a shock to find out at three in the morning when we’re under siege by God knows what.”

  “Yeah. It was kind of lucky Jeff and I were awake when Amy called.”

  “What were you doing up?”

  “Couldn’t sleep. Well, could, woke up around midnight, and couldn’t get back to sleep. So, you know, I woke Jeff up to share the fun.”

  “And here I was wishing I was straight a few seconds ago.”

  “I wish you were here right now. I’m really scared.” The knocking wasn’t stopping at all.

  “You want me to give it a shot?”

  “No!” The baby did an all-limb assault at this. I couldn’t help it, I shouted in pain. I heard Reader curse. And I could tell he was moving. “James, stay in your room.” I heard him say something to Gower, then the phone went dead.

  I sat on the bed and tried not to cry. Failed. I hadn’t meant to do something that would cause him to think I was in more danger than he was. My husband and his cousin were off across the world with one of my oldest girlfriends, in mortal peril from what I could tell, and now one of my other best friends was in horror movie peril. And I was incapable of doing anything to help any of them.

  Just as I was thinking it couldn’t get worse, the door opened.

  CHAPTER 10

  I DREW IN A DEEP BREATH, all the better to scream at the top of my lungs with, when Reader ran into the room, w
earing the standard issue A-C nightclothes—blue pajama bottoms, white T-shirt. I was in the same thing, only the maternity version.

  He was still the most gorgeous human male I’d ever seen in the flesh, one of the few humans who could pass as an A-C. However, I wasn’t checking him out for hotness, I was checking to make sure he wasn’t injured. No blood on him, no limbs missing, so far, so very good.

  The Poofs knew and loved him, so they merely shifted so he could get to me. He wrapped his arms around me, and I started to calm down. “Kitty, you okay?”

  I nodded. “How did you get in here safely? What was outside?” I was shuddering, and the baby was going nuts.

  Reader rocked me. “Nothing. There’s nothing outside. Not outside our room or your room. I have no idea where the Security guys are, but they weren’t there.” I gasped and jerked from the baby’s kicking. He started to stroke my stomach, and she calmed down.

  Once the baby calmed, he kept one arm around me and started making calls. “Richard’s fine. Paul’s checked every floor—everyone heard the knocking, everyone was scared by it, no one answered the door.”

  “What about Security?”

  “They’re fine. Asleep, but fine. All of them. Paul brought Serene over, they are who they’re supposed to be. Gladys, too.”

  I kept my head on Reader’s shoulder. It was always a comfortable place to be. I closed my eyes and worked to relax. “Okay, so I guess we just have to worry about Jeff and Christopher and whatever’s going on with Amy, and then figure out how we attracted ghosts or something.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah. It could still be vampires, of course. They can go invisible or to mist.”

  “Did you look up? Maybe they’re clinging to the ceiling.”

  We both looked up. “I feel like an idiot for doing that,” Reader said after a moment’s silence.

  “Me too, but at least we know there isn’t some horrible monster hanging up there waiting to pounce.”

  “I’m not looking under the bed,” Reader said with a laugh.

  We were both humans. We both lifted our feet up. “Let’s scoot into the middle of the bed.”

  He scooted without argument and helped me move. The Poofs got on either side of us. “Jeff’s going to love this when he gets home. Hope he doesn’t kill me.”