Alien Proliferation

by Gini Koch

  Something that felt like a dead human hand touched me. I looked. The Jeff zombie had its arm around my waist. “Betting this isn’t good.”

  Hurry. Pull it.

  “I hope you know what you’re talking about.” I pulled the lever. A horrible sound started, like a car engine grinding but about a thousand times louder.

  Thank you for saving us. Take care of our people. Take care of my brothers.

  “Good Kitty,” the Jeff zombie said as it flung me through the door.

  I landed on Chuckie who just managed to catch me. “Can we go now?” he asked as he put me down.

  “Is the rest of this house of horrors rigged?”

  “We found a red lever that said ‘Final Solution’ and pulled it.”

  Grabbed his hand and White’s. “I think that’s our cue to leave.” I looked back at the Zombie Room. They were watching me. The Jeff zombie raised its hand to say good-bye. And then the room exploded.

  Ran like crazy for the main exit as the grinding sound got louder. Looked behind again and saw the room slamming in on itself. Decided I’d scream later and sped the hell up. Got outside one second before the door slammed. Didn’t stop, figured we could come back later with a whole lot of flamethrowers to see if we’d destroyed everything or not.

  The tunnel shook, and I stopped running because I lost my footing. White and Chuckie pulled me back to my feet. “Think it’s going to come down?” Chuckie shouted over the noise. He was only gagging a little—from experience, adrenaline highs made the nausea of hyperspeed less.

  “No,” White shouted back. “It was A-C created, and our fail-safes are self-contained.”

  Apparently true. After a few minutes the rumbling and shaking stopped, and we were still alive and unburied. “Okay, that was, truly, the most horrible thing I’ve ever gone through, bar absolutely none.”

  “What part of ‘not that moronic nor foolhardy’ did you decide didn’t apply to you?” Chuckie sounded as shaken as I felt.

  “They needed me. They . . . wanted to die.” I wanted to cry but just refused to allow it. “They were being programmed to take over and didn’t want to be. They were all decent, normal A-Cs. They didn’t deserve anything close to this.”

  “Why were they talking to you?” Chuckie asked.

  I thought about it. “I think . . . some because I actually knew Wayne, some because of who they were being programmed to be. And . . . ” I closed my eyes and concentrated. ACE, are you there?

  Yes, Kitty, ACE is here.

  Are they all dead or destroyed or whatever the right word is?

  Yes. Kitty did well. ACE has joined their consciousnesses with Paul’s permission. Paul will not tell, not even James.

  Good. Tell . . . tell Wayne I’m sorry.

  Wayne says what ACE says—Kitty did right.

  I decided not to argue. Should we find out where the rest of this tunnel leads, or can it wait for another time?

  It leads where Chuckie thinks it leads, Kitty. Kitty and Chuckie and Richard can come back, the others are worried.

  Okay, thanks, ACE.

  I opened my eyes. “Chuckie, where do you think the tunnel leads?”

  “C.I.A. headquarters, probably to a Gaultier facility, perhaps to a couple of other locations.”

  “Well, figure you’re right. Let’s get back to the others.” We ran back. I had to control myself from going as fast as I was able to—it would probably cause Chuckie to black out, and I couldn’t take seeing him crumple right now. I was so thankful his and White’s hands felt normal I couldn’t even describe it. It was one thing to have looked at the replicants when they seemed like wax figures. It had been another to talk to them and be touched by them.

  Reached the elevator, and Chuckie looked around for the Gaultier Circle of Doom. Found it on the side opposite the door; he kicked it, and we went up one level. I flipped the switch, we went the rest of the way up to the basement.

  “How do you want to tell the others about this?” Chuckie asked me.

  “I don’t.”

  White stroked my back. “We must. It could happen again.”

  “I won’t let it.”

  He pulled me into his arms and rocked me. “I know, Missus Martini. However, sometimes it takes more than one of us to save the world. And the more information we have, the more likely we are to spot threats, trends, and enemies.”

  I nodded. “I don’t want to tell them tonight.”

  Chuckie sighed as we reached the top. “Kitty, they’ll know. Abby and Mimi will pick it up, so will Martini and White. Frankly, the looks on both your faces, and, I’d guess, mine, will be a giveaway, too.”

  White let me out of his arms, and we all started up the stairs. “I suppose.” I was in the lead, and as we got toward the top, I looked up. There was a man that looked like Jeff standing there, and I gasped and jerked back. Chuckie caught me and kept me moving forward. Got to the top and realized it was really Jeff—at least, the man who picked me up and let me wrap my arms and legs around him while I buried my face in his neck sure felt like the real Jeff.

  “You three all right?” he asked as I felt us moving.

  “In a way,” Chuckie answered. “How much did you see?”

  Jeff sighed. “All of it.”

  “You weren’t supposed to,” I said against his neck.

  “Yeah? You weren’t supposed to jump into the room with the bombs, either.” I started to shudder, and he held me tighter. “I’m still the head of Field, baby,” he said quietly. “And I’m never letting you race into danger without at least keeping an emotional eye on you.”

  “Are you all right yourself, Jeffrey?” I felt us start to move upward as White asked and figured we were in the elevator.

  Jeff heaved a sigh. “Yeah. You did the right thing. They all . . . wanted to die. I could feel them once you were in proximity.” He gave a bitter chuckle. “They did a good job, all things considered.”

  “Where’s Jamie?” My head jerked out of Jeff’s neck. “You were supposed to keep this from her and stay with her!”

  He kissed my forehead. “I did. She’s blocked from it, by me and by Christopher. And everyone else is guarding her. Including the Poofs.”

  “Only three of them.”

  He coughed. “Actually, several more.”

  “Come again?” I checked my purse. I still had three Poofs in it, snoozing away.

  Jeff managed a grin. “Royal wedding’s imminent, baby. Thankfully we don’t know how, but we have many new Poofs.”

  “Poof breeding for fun and profit.” Nice to know Christopher and Amy were, apparently, going to work out. Tried to focus on the positive that, from what I’d just learned, he’d keep her very happy in bed. Didn’t help much.

  “Fun. Not selling them.” Jeff kissed me. “They aren’t something to be sold.”

  “Okay, whatever you say.” Not selling them meant more Poofs for me.

  Elevator stopped, and we got out and into our room. Christopher was holding Jamie, and she seemed to be sleeping. People were milling about, and I couldn’t feel any more dread, just an ache in my heart. Everyone looked at me expectantly, and Jeff gave me a little squeeze. “We’ll debrief everyone tomorrow or the next day. Right now, I think we’re okay to be in here, just the few of us who were planning to stay tonight. But the rest of you are welcome to stay if you want. I just recommend spreading out into the other rooms.”

  “Third floor has plenty of rooms, and they’re all ready,” Tito offered. “Walter and I sort of got our pick.”

  Tim shrugged. “I’m going back over to the Science Center. One of us should probably be there, no matter what, and Alicia’s there.” Michael, Jerry, Hughes, and Walker indicated they were heading that way as well.

  Reader and Gower exchanged a look. “We need to get back over, girlfriend. Pontifex duties for Paul and all that.” He gave me a long look. “We’ll talk about it later, okay?” I nodded.

  Chuckie looked at Naomi and Abigail. “Up to you two
where you want to go. I think Kitty’s right, it’s over for right now.”

  Abigail shrugged. “Where’re you going to stay?”

  He shook his head. “No idea.”

  “Then we’ll sleep here on the third floor,” Naomi said. “That way, we’re around to help out, and you get into bed that much faster.”

  Chuckie managed a laugh. “What are you, my mother?”

  Naomi grinned. “No. Just worried about how you run yourself ragged.”

  “Mister White?”

  “Staying here, Missus Martini. Third floor with the rest of the singles.” He chuckled. “Just shout if you need us.” With that he ushered everyone else out of the room.

  Jeff put me down, and Christopher handed Jamie to me. “She won’t be able to access it, any of it, unless her life depends on it.”

  “Why so?”

  “We’re big on the fail-safes.” He bent and kissed my cheek. “You did the right thing, Kitty, the hard thing. The right thing for the right reason. Don’t forget that.” He clapped Jeff on the shoulder, took Amy’s hand, and they left for their rooms.

  Jeff and I went into the bedroom, and I put Jamie back into her bassinet. I noted we had a new, deluxe, extra levels Poof Condo in there. “When did that arrive?”

  “I had Gladys send it over once we realized we were having a Poof explosion. You’re not allowed to name any of them, by the way. Amy, Naomi, and Abigail already named one each before we could stop them.”

  “Do I want to know?”

  “No worse than the name you came up with. No better, either.”

  “How many more are there?”

  “Not sure. The numbers keep on increasing.” He pulled me into his arms. “You okay, baby?”

  “Sort of.” Not so much. “What did you mean when you said they did a good job?”

  He stroked my back. “The one that was supposed to be . . . me . . . it . . . loved you. The other two did, too.” I started to sob. “Shhh, baby, shhh. They were thanking God you did what you had to. The only way to save them was to destroy what they’d been tortured and forced into against their wills. They don’t hate you for doing it, baby, they love you for it.”

  Jeff moved us into bed and held me while I cried. I cried for a good long while. “They were innocent.” I was winding down and finally able to talk again.

  “Yeah, they were. And they were suffering, in a way I thank God you couldn’t pick up. It hurts to put something innocent out of its misery, baby, but doing that’s just as brave as killing something evil. Braver, in a way.”

  “I feel horrible.”

  “I know. I think I’d worry if you didn’t. But, I promise you, you did the right thing, and they appreciated it and always will.”

  I wanted to say that I couldn’t believe people could do things this horrible, but I knew better. People were all too able. It was heartbreaking to discover A-Cs were, too. Somehow, Beverly and Yates aside, Chuckie’s warnings notwithstanding, I’d managed to convince myself that all the Earth A-Cs were incapable of this kind of sick and twisted evil.

  “Anyone’s capable of it, baby,” Jeff said as he kissed my head. “You know that. It’s sweet that you convinced yourself otherwise.”

  “Sweet, not stupid or naïve?”

  He hugged me tighter up against him. “No. Baby, like I told you the first night I knew you, you’re not stupid and never have been. And believing the best in other people doesn’t make you naïve, it makes you an optimist.”

  I managed a laugh. “If you say so.”

  Jeff shifted us a bit, slid one hand up my body up to my chin, and tilted my head. “I do. Know what else I say?”

  “What?”

  He gave me a slow smile. “I say the baby’s asleep in her bassinet.” Then he kissed me, and, happily, like always, I forgot about everything else.

  CHAPTER 83

  JEFF’S HANDS STARTED TO ROAM as our kiss got deeper. He had great hands, and they knew how to stroke innocuous parts of my body until my pelvis was slamming against his. Sometimes this took a few minutes, sometimes a few seconds.

  Since we hadn’t had a real chance for anything remotely resembling intimacy for what seemed like months but was, in reality, only a week or so, it only took seconds. He moved his mouth to my neck, and I started to moan. I heard Jamie make baby sounds and I froze.

  Jeff stopped, leaned up, and looked over. “She’s still fast asleep.” He started kissing my neck again.

  I gasped. “What if she wakes up?”

  “Then we’ll stop.” He nibbled my ear.

  “I hear something.”

  Jeff smiled against my neck. “It’s my breath. The baby’s asleep. Soundly. She’s having happy little baby dreams, I can feel it.” He ran his tongue down to the point where my neck met my shoulder.

  “Uh-huh.” I wanted to howl. But the baby was right there. I clenched my teeth together.

  Jeff started to laugh softly and pulled away from me. “You want to just go to sleep?”

  “No.” This came out like a whine. “I just don’t want to wake the baby up.” I’d never been able to make love to Jeff and stay quiet. I could barely make out with him and stay quiet. A life of celibacy loomed ahead of me, and I started to cry.

  “Oh, baby.” Jeff shifted to a sitting position and picked me up so I was sitting in his lap with my legs around his waist. I was still blubbering. He pulled me against him and rocked me. “Kitty, baby, you’re just tired. Couples make love while they have babies . . . how do you think you get more babies?”

  “Everyone makes fun of how much noise I make. I’m going to wake and scare the baby. And I want to make love to you.” This came out a whine-sob combo. I sounded like a tired little kid.

  My phone rang. I didn’t want to get it, but Jeff grabbed my purse, and I answered. “Hi, Mom.” I sniffled.

  “Kitten, James told us all seems to be well.”

  “I guess.” I tried to stop crying but I couldn’t.

  “You and Jeff fighting?”

  “No.” This was on the quiet side of wail.

  Mom was quiet for a moment. “Is the baby asleep?”

  “Yes.”

  “Huh. And yet, you answered your phone. Tell me, did you get everything from Kevin?”

  It had been so long ago, at least in terms of experience. “Um . . . think so.”

  “They why are you crying?”

  “Is this a trick question?” Tears were still rolling down my face.

  Mom sighed. “Let me talk to Jeff.”

  I handed him the phone. “Hi, Angela. No. No. No! Really? Hang on, let me check.” Jeff moved me off his lap and raced into the nursery. I could still hear him. “Yes, we never got to it, it was under something that looks like a bizarre shower cap for thirty. Oh? Really. Huh. She seems so small to put out that much wet. Oh, really? Thanks for the heads-up. Yeah, seems easy. Batteries included? Yeah, you are the mother- and father-in-law I always hoped for. Great, talk to you later, thanks again. I think this will end up my favorite gift, right after the bassinet.”

  Jeff trotted back in the room, put my phone on the nightstand, took the bassinet and moved it carefully into the nursery. “What are you doing? Tito wants her right by me.”

  “He meant when we were asleep. Besides, your parents sent over something we missed that will solve everything. Just give me a second.” I heard him doing something in there, and then he came out with a white plastic thing that resembled a walkie-talkie or a radio.

  “What’s that?”

  “A parent’s best friend. Baby monitor. The receptor end is in the bassinet with Jamie and the Poofs.” He looked at the new Poof Condo, picked it up and moved it, Poofs and all, into the nursery as well. “With Jamie and all the Poofs. Now, you hold this end and listen.” He handed me the radio thing, then trotted into the nursery again and closed the door. I heard him through the radio. “All Poofs, pay attention. Guard the baby and alert Kitty and Jeff if the baby needs anything or is in the slightest danger. Got that
?” I heard loud purring. “Good, now hush, the baby’s still asleep.” The purring quieted and Jeff came out of the room, closed the door quietly, then hypersped into bed.

  I put the baby monitor on the nightstand next to the phone. “You sure it works?”

  “Uh-huh. Now, where were we?” He pulled my T-shirt off. “My God, they really are more magnificent right now.” He buried his face in my breasts. I hoped I wouldn’t leak. I listened—I could hear Jamie breathing normally and making sleeping baby sounds. Jeff kissed and stroked my breasts and I started to relax.

  Jeff slid my pajama bottoms off and his mouth trailed after. He nibbled my inner thighs and I moaned. Loudly. I froze and listened. Jamie was still asleep, and I could hear quiet Poof purring.

  I felt Jeff smile against me. “Told you.” Him talking down there made me gasp. His tongue trailed all over me, and I went from nervous to howling orgasm in about ten seconds. Jeff moved up my body again and kissed me deeply. I clawed at his shirt and pants, and he got out of them quickly.

  It was wonderful to feel his naked body against mine and even better to feel him inside me. Normally we’d have spent a lot more time on foreplay, because he liked to have me out of my mind, but in deference to how long the baby might or might not sleep, he didn’t wait. I didn’t mind in the least.

  He was being careful, though, which, if I’d still been completely human, would have been necessary. As things had turned out, not an issue. I wrapped my legs around his butt and shoved. “I’m fully recovered. And I do mean fully.”

  Jeff grinned. “Just wanted to be sure.” He kissed me. “I never want to hurt you, baby, you know that.” He was still being extremely gentle.

  “Jeff, please.” I tried not to sound like I was begging while I slammed my pelvis against his, but didn’t succeed, if the jungle cat look he got on his face was any indication. “She could wake up any second.”

  “What do you want, baby?” he asked, his voice a low purr.

  “I want you. I don’t want gentle, I want you; take me, please, now.” I thrust against him wildly. “Please, Jeff, please.”