Don't Hold Back_To Have and to Hold

by Renee Dominick

  “How far are we rewinding? To the part where you want to look down my shirt, or the part where you touch my tits?”

  He smiled. “Well…” He cupped her, found her nipple tight under his thumb. He raked across it with just the right pressure. Enough to make her whisper his name.

  “Maybe to where I hear my name like that.” He bent to nip her through her blouse. His teeth scraped up her throat, closed on her ear lobe, and sucked it into his mouth, soothing the flesh with his tongue. Then he stilled, his breath rasping through his nose, his thumb ticking back and forth across the tip of her breast.

  Jenna couldn’t move. If she did, her thighs would tense. If her thighs tensed, she would set off a preorgasmic pulse. And if that happened, she wouldn’t want to stop. His erection pressed hard into the cradle of her pelvis. They were in mutual distress, in need of mutual relief.

  She eased her hips back enough to slip her hand between them, to run her thumb from the crown of his cock downward. The tortured sound he made was beyond satisfying, but she didn’t get to revel in it. He spun her around, pinning her hands above her head.

  In all the fantasy scenarios she’d concocted over the years, she had never come close to imagining Rob like this. Untouchable, yes. Superior, definitely. But sexually assertive? Dominant tendencies? Never.

  His lips warmed her shoulder, and then her shoulder blade, and every flower on the branch, all the way across the contour of her midback, down as far as he could go, until the tattoo was covered by her clothing. Each press of his lips on her skin, every touch, discharged bursts like sparks on a fuse, fiery charges one after another, lighting up erogenous zones all over her body.

  “I can’t stop wanting you,” he whispered, almost as if he were speaking to himself. His hand crept from her belly downward, until his fingers curled between her legs, his nail scraping the fabric below her zipper.

  “Oh God,” Jenna breathed out. He knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed.

  “I do,” he whispered into her ear. Jesus, had she said that out loud? “But I’m not going to allow you to have it just yet.”

  “Yes, you are,” Jenna said, her desperation growing with every curl of his finger, every whisper. “It’s just an unzip and a crook of the finger.”

  “That would be if you were in charge here,” he said, leaning flush against her, letting her feel his hard-on against her ass. “But you’re not. For now, we both have to suffer.”

  “No, we don’t. We really don’t. Fuck suffering.”

  His laugh was a low animal sound rumbling through her back. Her body came alive with it, millions of nerves firing one to the next, readying her for a fast, hard fuck.

  And then his hand stilled. “So, just to make sure we’re on the same page,” he said. “I don’t have to stay away from you tonight?”

  She should be angry at the whipsaw of emotions he put her through, both now and over the last twenty-four hours. She wouldn’t tolerate it from any other man, but somehow, with Rob, the agony seemed a reflection of everything between them. They were right together, and so wrong. She couldn’t stand on principle now. Not with him, not even though it meant resetting the disappointment clock to whenever they finished with each other this time. She wanted this. She’d live on the memories of a night with him for eight more years.

  “You don’t have to stay away.”

  “Then we both get a prize,” he said, nipping the crook of her neck. Jenna sucked in a sharp breath as he flicked open the top button of her pants and lowered her zipper. His hand inched under the lace band of her panties, his fingers exploring, sliding through her until he dipped past the rim of her entrance with a quiet grunt of satisfaction. “Do you know what it does to me, to know I can make you this wet?”

  “I know what it does to me.”

  “I know that, too.” He crooked his finger and the wash of pleasure he unleashed made her head spin. It was like a drug spreading through her body.

  He drew a slippery finger over her clit in a slow, luscious caress that buckled her knees. “Oh.”

  He did it again, and one more time, and then he withdrew his hand.

  “No!”

  “You only get a preview.”

  Jenna whimpered. Actually whimpered. She’d never whimpered, but in this case, she was lucky she didn’t sob.

  “I’m going to enjoy finding all the ways I can make you writhe tonight, Jenna. What it takes to make you crumple into my hand like that. But not here.” He turned her around, raised her zipper, and buttoned her back up. “We’ve been gone longer than I meant to be. Your nosy best friend might already be dead of curiosity when you get back over there.”

  “Fuck her,” Jenna said, bad-naturedly.

  “Greedy.” Rob gave her a chaste little kiss on her bottom lip. “You go back first. I need a minute.”

  Jenna scanned down his torso, stopping around his pants pockets. “What if I don’t want to?”

  “Nope,” he said, grabbing her wrist when she reached for him.

  “You’re kidding.”

  He looked at her, Professor Lindgren in all his stern, serious glory. “I never kid. You know that.” He turned her toward the party and patted her butt, sending her on her way. “I’ll find you later.”

  So…what. She was supposed to saunter on back, as if she wasn’t three good strokes from an orgasm? She looked over her shoulder in disbelief. Rob gestured to her to move along, and her rebellious insides flickered with anticipation.

  It was several minutes before he returned to the plateau, and when he did, he went back to winding her nerves like a violin string, playing her like a virtuoso, one promise-filled glance at a time.

  Chapter Ten

  It was past dusk when they returned from the overlook. Night had closed in, the only illumination a few widely placed torches and the embers radiating red light from a rock-rimmed fire pit. The mouth-watering smell of barbeque filled the air, along with music coming from speakers disguised to look like small boulders. More Spanish guitar, which was even more atmospheric outside than it had been the previous night inside. Jenna ate with Talia and Rachel—no bibs, but plenty of napkins. Jenna could hardly eat. The ribs, sweet potato salad, and savory jalapeño cornbread were delicious, but her nerves were too stretched, her stomach too unsettled to appreciate it.

  And then Rob approached from behind, making her jump when he brushed her shoulder. “Got a second?”

  Jenna swallowed a thick lump of food and a dash of hysteria.

  “Give me your plate,” Talia said. “I’ll toss it for you.”

  “I’ll be right back.”

  Talia arced one perfectly lined eyebrow. “I hope not, this time.”

  Rob vanished around the side of the lodge, and Jenna followed him into the shadows.

  “Over here.” His hand came out of the dark and he grabbed her. Jenna inhaled a squeak.

  “Don’t scare me like that!” she said, slapping at him.

  “I have good news to share. Matt wants to give Stephen a job this summer. He says he’s a natural.”

  “That’s nice.” She narrowed an eye at him. “Is that it?”

  “No.” He took hold of her hands, drew something out of his pocket, and wound it around her wrists. She stood there, blinking in confusion.

  “Is that a rein?”

  “Part of one.” He wound the end he held around his hand. Her arms rose.

  Jenna looked at him, feeling…starry-eyed, of all the dumb things. She was doomed. “What am I? Some bandit you’re going to tie to your saddle and lead to the OK Corral?”

  “Yes, something like that.” His voice was as velvety dark as the night surrounding them.

  Jenna shivered as heat and chill fought for space in her veins.

  He pulled the lead again and she stumbled forward a step, her body in a state of shock. And then his arms were around her, hers bent upright between them. “I’ve learned something important about you the last day and a half, Jenna. I’ve been misreading you a
ll this time.”

  She tilted her head back to look him. “What are you talking about?”

  He brushed her lips with his thumb. “I always thought of you as Trouble with a capital J.”

  “I know. Evil dark side, blah, blah.”

  “Mmm, yes. Dark and dirty,” he muttered, nipping her lips as he spread his hand on her bottom. “With a perfect ass, breasts I could worship all day, and secrets I can’t wait to discover.”

  Jenna exhaled a quiet sigh.

  “But I digress. What I thought was trouble is really about control. If you sense incompetence, you pounce.”

  She stiffened in his hold, and he held her a bit tighter.

  “You were upset this morning, and yet you spurned my help. That hurt. I could help fix it, and you didn’t even consider me.” He planted small kisses on her wherever his lips found skin. “After you left me on the porch, I thought about how you’ve always deferred to Natalie.” Kiss. “And how you don’t try to manage Chloe.” Lick. “Because you trust her competence…” His thumbnail drew a circle on her breast. “…you relax with her.”

  Jenna opened her mouth to dispute his conclusions, but the truth made her argument stick in her throat. The way she dealt with her family had spread like an oil slick onto this part of her life, and it took Rob, of all people, to make her see it. Somehow, that made her defensive. “Are you psychoanalyzing me?” she asked.

  “No, Jenna.” He swiped his thumb along her cheek. “I’m explaining why you’re not going to be in charge tonight. I’m not incompetent, either. And I intend to prove it to you.”

  He held her tight to him, his hand on her ass, his fingers sinking deep, and she panicked. “Why?” She held him back with her bound hands. “You said it yourself, Rob. We’re incompatible.”

  “I never said we were incompatible.” He nipped her lips and pulled her close, showing her.

  “Opposite, then. What about Marianna? She’s perfect for you. I don’t even like horses.”

  He pulled back with an amused scowl. “Marianna? The barn manager?”

  “Yes! You were adorable together.”

  Rob’s face went through a whole series of contortions before it settled on…frustrated. “I’m not equivocating here, Jenna. You’re going to have to decide. Do you trust me enough to give me a chance?”

  She searched his face, entirely familiar, but new. Bolder and filled with greed. For her. “I want to.”

  “Okay, that’s a start. No more delaying the inevitable, Trouble.” He kissed her mercilessly, his whiskers scraping her, his tongue invading her, his teeth and lips pulling and claiming her mouth for his own. “We’re fucking tonight.”

  She made some sort of desperate purring noise. She was so down for it. She shouldn’t be, but she was.

  “Now turn and march.” His finger twirled a pirouette.

  Jenna was slow to move. Her mind had gone gray-screen, all thought swept away by the static of raw sexual need. Without any conscious directive from her brain, her feet shuffled beneath her. Rob pressed his body flush behind hers, his steps urging her legs forward, until he swung past her and pulled her along by the rein instead. Had this man been under the surface of Rob’s skin the whole time? How had she not known?

  Inside his room, the lights were dim, and candles wavered on several surfaces. “Wow, when did you do all this?”

  “Never mind. Stand here.” Rob backed her against the wall and took something from atop the dresser. A scrap of lace. He held it up. “Still trust me?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  He tied it over her eyes, making sure her hair wasn’t caught in the knot. It was sheer enough she could make out shapes and movement, but opaque enough to limit her sense of sight. Her body thrummed with anticipation.

  “Okay?” he asked.

  “Yes.” This time she was more sure of her answer.

  He turned her and flattened her palms to the wall. “Don’t move unless I say you can,” he said, his lips close to her ear. His hands skimmed under her blouse, up her bare back, the shirt going higher with them, over her head and up her arms. He left it dangling, stuck behind her bound wrists. His finger returned to her back, tracing her tattoo with a soft touch. “I’m obsessed. I never thought I’d find a tattoo this sexy.”

  Jenna’s eyes pricked with emotion. “I never thought you would, either.”

  He stepped back, taking his body heat with him. “Raise your foot,” he told her. When she complied, he removed her shoes one at a time and then peeled her capris down, his hands smoothing over her skin. His lips left warm damp spots where he kissed the dimples on her low back, the crease beneath her bottom, the backs of her knees. The last article to go was her lacy underwear. Those he drew down with an agonizing slowness she could hardly withstand.

  “Stop wiggling,” he warned her.

  With her eyes covered, her other senses had kicked up a notch, so the metal ting of his belt buckle and the sounds of his clothes coming off sent spirals of heat and restless need through her. And when his hands enclosed her waist, rippled up over her ribs, and smoothed down to shape her hips, the brush of his palms against her skin mesmerized her. She stopped breathing when he cupped her between the legs, one long finger along her crease, his cock nestled, warm and bare behind her.

  He held them there, motionless, until Jenna felt a grinding, demanding noise climb her throat. “Shh,” he told her. “I don’t want to make you pay for trying to take over.”

  “Pay how?”

  He took his hand away. “Denial, of course.”

  Fuck. Blood raced through her body, filled with her body’s own aphrodisiac. Her limbs were rigid with it.

  “That’s it, Jenna,” he said. “Let me.” His hand returned, and his finger eased her open.

  “Oh God,” she whispered, shifting her weight, encouraging more contact.

  “Stay still,” he told her. “Or I’ll let go.”

  His words arrested her, her body jerking into immobility.

  “Mm, interesting reaction,” he said, pressing his finger deeper, drawing through the slippery evidence of just how aroused she was.

  Jenna clenched her teeth. She needed to relieve the pressure he was building, but this was Rob being entirely unexpected. Unpredictable. What if she inched her hips forward to sink his finger deeper and he made good on his promise? Left her standing there cold?

  She pressed her hands and cheek hard against the wall and stood as still as she knew how. His finger curled toward her clit, nudging around the nub of it and stroking down again. Once, twice. On the third pass, he changed his pattern and reached inside her. The relief almost dropped her.

  “Aw, Jenna. Are you needy?” he murmured.

  “Fuck you, Rob,” she said with more breath than sound. “Untie me.”

  He chuckled against her ear, but there was nothing funny about it when he withdrew his hand. She squeaked a protest as he turned her around. “You’re not in charge. Hands up.”

  Once again, she complied.

  He cupped her breasts, his thumbs relieving some of her dismay. “I’ve never forgotten how you taught me this,” he said, pressing and pulling her nipples, kissing her, letting his whiskers scratch the tender parts of her skin. “I knew guys liked it, but I didn’t know it could bring a woman so much pleasure.”

  If her body hadn’t been reacting with jets of that pleasure moving through every inch of her, she might have laughed. But all she could do was moan and press herself into his hands. “Please untie me,” she begged.

  “That’s not how this works,” he said, sucking her nipple deep into his mouth.

  “Please?” she gasped. “I need my hands on you. You’ll like it, I promise.”

  “Hmm.” He curled his tongue around her. “Will you promise to be good?”

  “Absolutely not.”

  Rob laughed and pressed his cock tight against her. She took advantage, rising on her toes, rocking her hips to draw him through her crease. God, the pressure was so perfect
.

  He hissed as she neared the crown and stopped, rocking his ridges against her clit. A perfect, piercing spot for both of them.

  He clamped hard on her ass, stilling her. “Jenna,” he said, a warning in his voice.

  “Yes, Rob?”

  With a growl, he snatched her off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his hips as they spun; he lowered her onto the bed and scooted her up against the pillows. “Arms up.” He fumbled around and then said, “There.”

  She gave a tug, but she was tied up like a horse to a fence. “Damn you.”

  The bed jostled, and, with his hands strong on her upper thighs, holding them apart, he dipped his shoulder under her knee. Her heel met his back, and his mouth closed over her.

  Jenna arched sharply. “Rob—”

  He ran his tongue through her, bottom to top, slowing for a swirl, a lick, exploring all of her intimate bits. He held her fast, one arm crooked around her leg, his hand flat on her belly and between jolts of pure erotic bliss, her mind chanted, This is Rob.

  Rob, making her body take flight with his mouth. Rob, with his tongue slipping through her folds. Rob’s hand on her breast, Rob’s fingers plying her, giving her…everything.

  “Oh fuck,” Jenna moaned as his tongue firmed, became more directed before it swept away, only to dip inside her. His fingers layered on more sensation, and his thumb gently nudged her clit. He swamped her, made her jerk and beg. She tilted her hips, so near the brink. So close. Her body clenched, and in her head she begged him, desperate. Oh please, she thought. Please.

  He reached up to remove her blindfold and she raised her head, found his eyes on her, flashing in the flickering light like blue flame. He never took his eyes off her as he flattened his tongue and licked up her center, slow and flamboyant. A roar erupted in her ears, oxygen deprivation reaching maximum. “Rob!”

  “Come on then, Jenna,” he said against her flesh. A tight flick of his tongue was the final straw.