Shades of Trust

by Cristiane Serruya

  A too young, too intelligent, too gentle, and too…innocent brunette. He mused on his choice of words and shook his head. This is pure lust. It’s her resistance that beguiles me. It’s her control. It defies me. It’s her lack of fear that challenges me.

  At Nathalie’s grave, he had made a promise never to let his lack of control allow his lust to command him again.

  Nevermore. Never. More. A growl filled his chest as he let go his wrath. He picked up the phone and dialed her number. Let’s finish this, once and for all.

  “Hello?”

  “Ms. Leibowitz, please,” he nearly barked.

  “Who is calling?”

  “Alistair MacCraig,” he answered, and breathed deeply, struggling with his emotions.

  “Just a minute, please, Mr. MacCraig.”

  Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake sounded on phone.

  He smiled.

  Then he frowned and tapped his finger on the table impatiently as he waited. Fuck. She’s driving me to obsession.

  “Hello?” Sophia tried to sound nonchalant but her heart beat faster and her voice was husky.

  “Sophia, it’s Alistair Connor. How are you?”

  “Alistair, what a surprise.” Surprise? Here you go again, acting like an idiot, Sophia. You knew he was going to call.

  He chuckled inside but just said, “Sophia, on Thursday I’m supposed to go to the royal première of Alice in Wonderland at Leicester Square. You can go with me.”

  I can? She creased her brow in wonder. Is this an invitation or an order? “Oh,” Oh? Sophia, you are finishing a PhD. Can’t you do better? “I’d be delighted. What time?”

  “I’ll pick you up at six sharp. It’s black-tie.”

  “Okay,” she answered.

  “And tonight? Are you free?”

  Sophia looked at her Crazy Hours watch. Nine fifteen in the evening! He wants to go out? Sophia, Sophia, just say no. Not today. “Er…I’m sorry. I have a contract to revise and Gabriela usually wakes up early.” Terrible, just terrible.

  Liar. “Have you eaten?” he insisted. “We can have a quick dinner somewhere.”

  You are persistent, aren’t you? “Well, honestly, I was…I haven’t yet—”

  “I’m picking you up in fifteen minutes then,” he succinctly informed her.

  “Alistair, it’s snow—” she started and he interrupted her again.

  “Sophia, get dressed. Something simple. I’ll make reservations on my way to your house. Kensington Place. Have you been there?”

  Get dressed? Is this another order? “A long time ago, but—”

  “It’s five minutes from your place. I’ll pick you up with my driver, Garrick. Inform the gates, please. See you in fifteen.” He ended the call and looked at the wireless telephone in his hand. “Fuck!”

  Controlling his impulse to throw the phone through the window, he put it deliberately and slowly in its cradle.

  Sophia frowned at the phone in her hand. What the hell?

  Alistair picked up his coat and shook his head at himself as he locked his office and went to the elevators. I’m losing my mind over a woman.

  9:25 p.m.

  Sophia discarded another dress on the armchair and turned to the trousers, biting her lip. Something simple. Something simple. She grabbed a pair of black jeans but threw them on the armchair too. He’s coming from the office and wearing his suit. Oh, damn. I’ve never been this undecided. She glanced at the trousers again. Yes, that’s it. She decided on black wool trousers with suspenders and a short red jacket and black platform ankle boots. Okay. Now… She twirled and looked at her tops and sweaters. Yes, my white turtleneck.

  She dressed in haste, brushed her hair again, put on just a touch of mascara, and then some perfume. She looked in the mirror and smiled at the flushed woman with gleaming eyes staring back at her and pivoted happily. You look nice, Sophia.

  A male voice sounded in the room, “Mrs. Leibowitz, there’s a BMW at the street gate waiting for permission to enter. Security says it’s Mr. MacCraig.”

  “Oh, damn!” She grabbed her black purse and overcoat and hurried to the intercom, pressing its button. “Thanks, Devon. Let his car in and direct it to the garden gates. I’ll be down in a sec.”

  It was pouring when Sophia exited by the side door, with Devon on her heels. He waited for her to enter the car, then closed the door for her.

  She turned to look at Alistair who was wearing a navy three-piece suit opened to show a waistcoat fitted nicely over his flat stomach, a purple damask tie, and a starched white shirt and looking absolutely edible.

  Her heartbeat spiked to a thousand per minute. Oh. My. How am I going to resist this god?

  “You look beautiful, Sophia.” His deep voice and his light kiss on her lips made her even more breathless.

  “Hi,” she answered, and cleared her throat. Oh, please, stop melting. “I’m sorry I forgot to inform the gate you were coming.”

  “It’s okay.” He waved his large hand dismissively. “I hope you like seafood.”

  “I love seafood.”

  “Kensington Place serves very good fish. It’s all fresh and very high quality. They also have a good Bordeaux.” Don’t babble. Alistair rolled his shoulders, trying to ease away some of his tension. “It’s nice and simple. I eat there frequently.”

  She cocked her head and took a real look at his face. There were thin lines around his slightly narrowed eyes. She lifted her hand to touch his temple. “You look stressed. Is everything okay?”

  His hand covered hers, pressed it to his face, and he inhaled her perfume. Nae, Sophia, it is not. I feel…tied in knots and you are the reason. “Aye, it is.” His eyes burrowed into hers. “I’m…just disappointed. I was waiting for some news that didn’t come.” And you keep eluding me. I don’t know who you really are.

  “Oh.” She caressed his face with her fingertips. “I’m sorry.”

  A ghost of a smile turned his lips upward. “Don’t be. I’ll discover what I need. In due time.” He turned his face to kiss her inner wrist and entwined his fingers in hers.

  “You are cocky, aren’t you? Vanity is a sin, Alistair Connor.” Mr. I’m-so-handsome-and-powerful-and-I-know-it. This nickname is getting too big!

  He smiled at her remark. “I’m not vain. I just know my strengths.”

  “And you like to brag about them.”

  His hand dived into her hair and he bent to lightly kiss her lips, saying, “I like you, Sophia.”

  They stopped at 201 Kensington Church Street and Alistair touched the intercom. “Garrick, I’ll call you when we finish. Don’t bother getting out. I have an umbrella with me.”

  He opened the door, then the umbrella, and got out of the car. He helped Sophia out and drew her close, sheltering her from the pouring rain as they walked up to the restaurant.

  “Mr. MacCraig, ma’am, good evening.” The manager came immediately to the door to take their coats and Alistair’s umbrella, giving them to the receptionist. “I’ve reserved your usual table, sir.”

  They were directed to a table in the corner and the manager pulled it out so Sophia could sit on the sofa, near the wall. Alistair slid in next to her, his thigh touching hers as he shifted closer.

  “We’ll have Chateau Client and still water,” Alistair said, and looked at Sophia. “What do think of grilled king prawns as a starter?”

  “Sure.”

  “So, six grilled prawns to start with,” he ordered, then turned to her when the manager left and put his arm over the back of the sofa. “How is Gabriela?”

  Sophia’s mouth opened in a grin. “She’s great. And you know, I’ve been meaning to tell you, you have a way with children. She really likes you a lot. And that’s no easy achievement. She’s shy and normally distrusts men.”

  His face lit up with happiness, smoothing away the brooding crease on his forehead. “She’s a lovely child. Beautiful and so intelligent.”

  “Yes, she is. But sometimes I think I treat her…too much li
ke an adult. That I should be less stern.”

  “I can’t picture you being stern with Gabriela.” He curled a strand of her long, raven hair around his fingers, musing. “It must be very difficult to raise a child all alone.”

  “I think it gets worse as the years go by and they grow up and take their first steps into the world. For the time being, it’s not that hard. Actually, it’s a blessing.”

  “You have a tendency to diminish your problems, don’t you?”

  “What’s the point of making life more difficult than it is already?” She shrugged. “It’s not going to take pity on me if I cry and wail.”

  “You’re right.” He paused as the waiter showed him the wine and served them. “Why did you become a lawyer?”

  “My grandfather was a judge and my grandmother was a prosecutor. I always admired them, and since I didn’t have to worry about earning a living, I chose to be a lawyer. It’s more difficult to establish oneself, you know?”

  “And you like difficult things?”

  “You might say I don’t like easy things,” she said, smiling. “But, no. It wasn’t that.”

  “Don’t be so secretive, Sophia. With the freedom to do practically anything, why did you choose to be a lawyer?”

  “I don’t like inequity. And the Brazilian legal system handled my parents’ death poorly. It was so unfair. And as I grew up, I saw so many wrongdoings—”

  “And you think you can right the world.”

  “No,” she shook her head vehemently. “Not at all. But, at least, I can do something.” Her eyes flashed brown at some secret thought and she whispered darkly, “And when injustice prevails, as it does in Brazil, it’s better to know the legal loopholes and flaws than to be ignorant of them. So you can better use them to your advantage.”

  “You speak in riddles, Sophia.” He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, “I don’t understand what you mean.”

  “I’m sure you do, Alistair Connor.” She drank some of her wine. “You are a very intelligent man or you wouldn’t have achieved what you have. And how about you? Are you an economist?”

  “Nae. I graduated from Oxford with a degree in civil law and a master’s in law and finance.”

  “But you didn’t pursue a law career or want to teach. Why?”

  “Because I’m not interested in other people’s problems, Sophia. I only care about what I can do for myself. I’m a ruthless and selfish man. Men usually are.”

  “Are you trying to scare me away?” Sophia was momentarily taken aback. “You can’t think like that.”

  “Why not?” He shrugged. His lips suddenly curled into a sad grimace. “Life is not a fairy tale. Maybe Ashford was right. Maybe we should keep children away from Disney films. We grow up believing in dreams that never come true and are brutally shattered as we get older. There is no happy ending, Sophia. There’s no Prince Charming.” And especially no Sleeping Beauty.

  She shook her head slowly, staring into his eyes. “You’re in denial. I don’t believe your empty words. I saw how you acted at Leonard’s. With the children. Especially with Gabriela. I remember your protective behavior when Ethan swore at her and when I hurt myself with that accident. Selfish people don’t adore children and they don’t defend others.”

  “Don’t make me into a hero,” he snorted. I’m anything but. “And, please. Stop calling what Ashford did an accident—”

  She put her fingers on his mouth, “I handled that poorly. I should have left without saying good-bye to him. He’s impulsive, and I am too.”

  “He’s a violent man. He left those marks on your wrist, didn’t he?”

  Sophia averted her eyes and drank her wine. “I bruise easily.”

  “And it seems to me that you like violent men.”

  “Of course not,” she bristled. “I started a foundation that protects abused women and children. There is nothing more hateful than an abusive man.”

  Hmm. Is this true, Sophia? “It seems you may need your foundation’s services for yourself. You are clearly attracted to power and dominance.”

  Sophia frowned, lines creasing her forehead. “Why do you say that?”

  “You’re so easy to read, Sophia.” He smoothed out the lines on her brow with the tip of his fingers and sunk them into her hair, flashing a smile. “You are a successful and self-confident woman, but you like aggressive men. I don’t know much about your late husband but I bet he was an assertive and callous man. Leibowitz Oil started as a small company and now it’s one of the biggest in the world. No one can achieve that by being a teddy bear. You’re surrounded by powerful and strong-willed men. Gabriel, Davidoff, Leonard, Ashford. Me. Despite your courageous and determined way of facing life, you have a fragile and impetuous side that calls for and begets protection. And dominance.”

  Dominance? “Edward is the best. And Leonard…he is such a good friend and a gentleman.”

  “Aye, but both are ruthless and powerful when needed.”

  She bit her lip, thinking about what he said.

  He didn’t resist and dropped his head to kiss her mouth, taking her full bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling it. When he lifted his head, he whispered on her lips, “Don’t bite your lip. If you feel the need, I’ll do it for you.”

  She giggled, breathlessly. “You’re funny. No one has ever offered to bite my lip for me before.”

  “Well, no one’s ever called me funny before. Anyway,” he smiled sensuously, “I’ll gladly do it for you. That and much more.”

  Sophia felt a rush of hot desire run through her spine, leaving her light-headed. “Oh, will you?”

  He tugged her hair back lightly. “Much, much more, Sophia.”

  Timely for Sophia, the waiter approached their table, bringing the menus and the prawns. “Would you like to order, Mr. MacCraig?”

  Alistair accepted the menus but put them down on the table. “Give us a few minutes.”

  “Of course, sir.” He put the plate of crispy prawns in the middle of the table, between them. “Enjoy.”

  Sophia looked at her watch. “I think we should order. It’s almost ten o’clock.”

  What? No woman ever looks at her watch while with me. “Am I boring you, Sophia?”

  “Boring me? No. It’s just that I wake up very early on Wednesdays. I give a class at eight o’clock. In Cambridge. And I work out for half an hour before I leave home at six thirty.”

  Fuck. Wrong day to ask her out. “We should order, indeed.” He handed her a menu and opened his.

  She bit into a prawn and moaned, “Mmm, divine.”

  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. The woman moans over everything. He scanned the menu quickly and snapped it shut, irritated.

  “Have you decided?”

  “Aye. I know this menu back to front.” He signaled for the waiter. “Have you?”

  Unsure, she bit her lip again, and he tsked twice. She looked up from the menu and he sunk his teeth in his bottom lip, mimicking her actions.

  Sophia melted at the sight of his teeth biting his dark pink lip and she lost her train of thought. Oh, my. Now I understand. Sexy, hot. “Um, what?”

  His face split with a Cheshire cat grin. “Your main course, Sophia?”

  “Ah, yes. How’s the monkfish?”

  “It’s succulent, tender,” his beautiful eyes lit on hers and he licked his lips, “with a slightly sweet flavor.”

  She blinked and focused her eyes back on the menu. “So, I’ll have the smaller portion. With the herb butter sauce.”

  Alistair gave their order to the waiter then turned to Sophia, shifting on the sofa, his knee touching her thigh.

  She scooted away.

  He smiled at the prudish movement, but it didn’t stop his hand from reaching around her waist and pulling her closer.

  “What are you afraid of?” he whispered, trying to figure her out.

  “Nothing. I’m not afraid. But it’s only been a few days since I ended a relationship. You can’t expect me to jump
into another just like that,” she snapped her fingers. “I’m not a frivolous woman that changes partners without a second thought, just based on lust.”

  Ah, Sophia, I understand your game now. You’re horny but you’re playing hard to get. Let’s see how long you’re going to resist me. “Don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Tomorrow may be good, but tonight is better, Sophia.”

  She smiled, amused. “I don’t think the saying applies to this situation, Alistair.”

  “Seems that I’ll have to work hard to convince you,” he said.

  “I like hard work,” she whispered with a wink.

  Chapter 4

  11:35 p.m.

  Sophia shivered when she stepped out of the restaurant. “It’s cold.”

  “Of course, it’s cold. It’s snowing and you haven’t put on your coat properly.” Alistair took the coat from her shoulders and made Sophia put it on, gathering her into his chest, his hands rubbing her back. “You have a problem with coats, don’t you?”

  She looked up to gaze at his face, smiling. “It’s just a few seconds until your driver arrives, and besides, I love the cold.” She breathed the freezing air deeply and closed her eyes. “I love this icy air.”

  When she opened her eyes again, he was smiling down at her. “How can a Carioca love the cold?”

  “I hate the weather in Rio. I hate the hot air, the humidity. In summer, you feel like you’re burning in hell.”

  “But you have beautiful beaches.”

  “I don’t care very much for them. In fact, I didn’t usually go to the beach and I hate sand.” She rubbed her icy nose on his warm chest and he tightened his arms around her.

  He looked away from her face and noticed his BMW drawing up to the curb. “Come, Garrick has arrived.”

  She entered the car and rubbed her hands to warm them up. Alistair gave directions to Garrick and immediately took her hands in his, and blew warm breath on them. “You’re so soft, your skin feels like silk.”

  Sophia’s breath hitched and she licked her lips, unsure of what to say, but Alistair wasn’t expecting a reply. He shifted on the seat to face her and fast as lightning hauled her onto his lap and dropped his head to kiss her.