Shades of Trust

by Cristiane Serruya

  Fuck. What’s your problem, Alistair Connor? It’s only a woman, for Christ’s sake. Only. A. Woman. He sang the words in his mind in a futile attempt to convince himself. If she is just a woman, why are you all tied up in knots like this?

  His phone pinged and his eyes narrowed at the screen, turning off the sound.

  Beauty. 01:47 p.m. - Hi. =)

  He frowned, uncertain of his mood and what he should answer. He went for a rebuke.

  Alistair. 01:48 p.m. - Too late for niceties.

  His phone vibrated a few more times and he oscillated between the business conversation and the desire to look at his screen.

  Beauty. 01:49 p.m. - Breathe!

  Beauty. 01:49 p.m. - Breathe in, breathe out!

  Beauty. 01:49 p.m. - Calmer now?

  How dare she? He fumed and quickly texted back.

  Alistair. 01:50 p.m. - NO!

  Alistair. 01:50 p.m. - What were you doing? What took you so long to answer me?

  Beauty. 01:53 p.m. - I was in a lunch meeting.

  Alistair. 01:54 p.m. - So?

  He breathed deeply trying to rein in his emotions. But jealousy had already set in. And he didn’t resist its pull. As she didn’t text back, he sent another message.

  Alistair. 01:56 p.m. - All this time? WITH WHOM?

  He lost track of the conversation going on at the table. He raised his eyebrows at Tavish in quiet desperation, who just smiled in return. His cell phone vibrated again.

  Beauty. 02:00 p.m. - I was in a meeting outside the office before.

  Alistair. 02:00 p.m. - So?

  Beauty. 02:02 p.m. - So, what? It was work, dammit.

  He pressed his lips in a thin line as he read her petulant and impatient answer.

  Alistair. 02:05 p.m. - With whom?

  Beauty. 02:06 p.m. - Drink a glass of water. With lots of sugar.

  He saw red and started to type when another message appeared. He rose and excused himself, walking toward the toilet as more messages came in.

  Beauty. 02:05 p.m. - Go to a yoga session.

  Beauty. 02:06 p.m. - See a shrink.

  Fuck. He entered the bathroom, and was about to speed-dial Sophia’s number when another message came in.

  Beauty. 02:06 p.m. - I’m switching off for today. I’ve had enough.

  London

  On the way to Leibowitz Oil Building

  2:08 p.m.

  Sophia switched off her iPhone just as it rang and looked at Edward, who chuckled.

  “I’m done with pushy, overbearing, domineering, jealous, bullshitting CEOs.” She threw her hands up in the air. “I’m going to find myself a nice docile trainee, for once. Maybe one of the Strathclyde University students. Someone I can bully and push around for a change.”

  “I volunteer,” he said immediately, lifting a blond eyebrow at her.

  She sighed. “As if I could ever push you around, Edward.”

  “You can, Sophia, you can,” he said. “More than you know.”

  Inverness, Rocpool Hotel, Chez Roux Restaurant

  10:00 p.m.

  Tavish’s permanent, smug smile was irritating Alistair.

  “What is your problem, Tavish Uilleam?” He stabbed a piece of Strathdon Blue cheese and bit into it.

  “What’s your problem? You’ve been furious since the lunch ended.” His smirk broadened. “It’s her, isn’t it? A woman driving the mighty Alistair Connor insane. Come on, she is just one more woman.”

  Alistair shook his head, aggravated at the nickname. “The mighty Alistair Connor?”

  “Oh, Brother. You’re handsome, powerful, rich. You have everything. And besides, how many women have you had and dismissed, recently?”

  “Before her, you mean?”

  Tavish’s eyes widened. “Before her? Nae, surely no’.”

  Alistair nodded and Tavish’s eyes grew bigger, “Nae. Have you been monogamous since her? How long?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t really keep track of days, you know?” As if.

  Tavish laughed, the sound so dear and alien to Alistair that he decided to indulge his brother, just to hear it once more.

  “I don’t believe it,” Tavish said. “How long? Two weeks?”

  “Since January, the twenty-second. Fuck, Tavish Uilleam, I even know the day.”

  Tavish burst into a fit of laughter that brought tears to his eyes.

  “You’ve been going out with her all this time and you’re still obsessed with her?” he asked and chuckled, wiping his eyes dry. “I don’t believe it. She’s a wonder in bed, no doubt.”

  “I wish I knew,” Alistair muttered under his breath.

  Tavish’s chin fell. “You haven’t fucked her? After more than a month? Are you losing your touch?”

  I hope not. “Nae. She was…occupied elsewhere.”

  “Pardon?”

  “She was seeing Ethan Ashford. And when they broke up…” Alistair rubbed a hand over his nape. “Let me tell you the whole story.”

  Tavish’s brows were knitted in a line, he was back in his serious mood again. “You’re going to start a relationship without knowing what she thinks about your…preferences?”

  Alistair’s brows shot to his hairline and he tried to appear nonchalant. “My preferences?”

  “Oh, please, man! I’m not an idiot. Besides,” he drew in a huge breath, “Heather made them clear tae me the day she approached me.”

  “Heather?” Thunderstruck, Alistair’s anger spiked. “She approached you?”

  Tavish looked at his brother and sighed, putting a hand over his brother’s. “Aye, she did. Once. Just before I left for Afghanistan.”

  “I wish. She wasn’t. Dead. So I could kill her with my bare hands,” Alistair growled, and downed his whisky in a gulp.

  “She is dead. No more chance to right things, Alistair Connor. At least not with her.”

  “So,” Alistair glanced at Tavish and back at their hands, “you know about our…preferences?”

  “She hinted, aye.”

  “Hinted?”

  “It was enough, Alistair Connor. And once, when she was at the pool, I saw the marks.”

  Alistair’s mouth dropped open.

  “I saw things in my years as a doctor that I don’t want to see again.” Tavish shook his head at Alistair. “Women hurt, scarred, broken, and bleeding. Badly. Women from the Royal Army, who should hold their own against their husbands, boyfriends, lovers, whatever—but are too mentally impaired to do it.”

  “I’m not like that, Tavish Uilleam. I don’t hurt women.”

  “Nae?” Tavish raised an eyebrow. “What do you call it, then? Is there a limit? What do you call hurting? And what have you been doing with all the others after that bitch of a wife?”

  “Do you think I would do anything to a woman against her desires?” he breathed, shocked by Tavish’s words. “Aye, there is a limit. Women that enter this kind of relationship usually set boundaries and—” He stared at his brother’s eyes for a moment, green pairing green.

  “And?” Tavish gently asked, trying to coach his brother to open up.

  “I—Heather—” Fuck. “It’s just a different kind of relationship enjoyed by the partners, if done healthily.” He raked his hand in his long hair. “What do you think I should do? With Sophia, I mean.”

  “The young Alistair Connor would know.” Tavish squeezed Alistair’s hand and let it go. “Didn’t you have enough punishment for a life time?”

  “Punishment?” Am I a monster in his eyes?

  “Does she deserve punishment, Alistair Connor?” Tavish repeated, studying his brother’s face.

  “Nae,” he answered hoarsely. “But—”

  “You know what to do,” was Tavish’s quiet answer.

  Leibowitz Oil Building, Sophia’s Office

  Thursday, March 11, 2010

  9:56 a.m.

  Sophia’s phone chimed with an incoming message from Alistair.

  Hello, Lord I’m-so-handsome-and-I-know-it. Hmm, this n
ickname is too big. She quickly fixed Alistair’s alias for just Handsome.

  Handsome. 09:56 a.m. - Morning, Beauty.

  Sophia. 09:56 a.m. - Humph!

  Handsome. 09:56 a.m. - Are you huffing at me?

  Sophia. 09:57 a.m. - Yeah! I am. =)

  Handsome. 09:57 a.m. - Oh, Sophia! You shouldn’t!

  Handsome. 09:57 a.m. - Why did you turn off your iPhone and not answer even one of my calls?

  Sophia. 09:58 a.m. - I don’t like neurotic men. =)

  Handsome. 09:58 a.m. - Are you calling me neurotic?

  Sophia. 09:59 a.m. - Oh, please. Where is your sense of humor? It’s too early to start fighting.

  Handsome. 09:59 a.m. - Humph!

  Sophia. 10:00 a.m. - Really? Call me when you’re in a better mood.

  Handsome. 10:00 a.m. - Sophia, DON’T turn your mobile off.

  Sophia. 10:01 a.m. - I’ll think about it.

  Handsome. 10:01 a.m. - Sophia. I’m warning YOU.

  Sophia. 10:02 a.m. - I’m not afraid of your threats.

  Handsome. 10:03 a.m. - You should be.

  Sophia. 10:03 a.m. - Go see a shrink.

  Chapter 13

  Scotland, Edinburgh

  The City of London Bank

  3:45 p.m.

  “Fuck,” Alistair swore loudly and banged his fist on the table. He rose from the chair and strolled to the window, watching the cars pass on the street below. “Why did Douglas give this extensive credit line to such a small firm?”

  “I think we should call them to a meeting, today or tomorrow,” Tavish suggested, “and demand some guaranties.”

  Alistair sighed heavily and turned to look at his brother, “Aye. Do it. Not after one o’clock tomorrow, though. I need to be in London before four.”

  “I did some research, Alistair Connor. And I’ve talked to Douglas. I knew he wouldn’t be so careless. There is a solid family-run distillery behind this firm. The father will probably vouch for his son. I’ll set a meeting with both.”

  “The sooner, the better. I want to get back to London.” He fished his iPhone from his trouser pocket and speed-dialed Sophia’s number.

  “Brother, this woman is turning you head over heels. I just hope she really is different.” Tavish shook his head at Alistair and left his brother’s office, a worried look on his face.

  “Sophia, it’s me, Alistair Connor,” he huffed.

  “Hi, Handsome.” Sophia’s mouth spread in a wide grin. “What time are you arriving?”

  He exhaled loudly. “Thing is, Sophia, I probably can’t get back today. I wish I could, but I’ve just found out that the Edinburgh branch granted a substantial loan without any collateral or guaranties. Tavish Uilleam is trying to schedule a meeting for later today or tomorrow morning.”

  Sophia’s smile waned. “Oh. But is everything okay?”

  “I hope so. I still have some minor problems to see to but that’s the worst. I’m sorry. I can’t return today.” There was a longing in his voice. “You were right when you said we would be apart a long time. I wish you were here with me.”

  I wish, too. “Tomorrow, Handsome. It’s just a few hours. They’ll fly by.”

  “They won’t,” he complained, “they’ll crawl.”

  Sophia smiled. “Are you pouting?”

  “It seems so.” He frowned at his childish reaction. Stop this, Alistair Connor. Man up. “So, what are you going to do tonight?”

  “I’m going to dream about you,” she sighed.

  “So will I.” Alistair’s face split into a broad, devious smile. “Naughty dreams, Sophia? The kind that leave you horny and wet?”

  Sophia felt giddy. “Yes.”

  “And do you seek release? Do you touch yourself?”

  A rush of desire traveled through Sophia’s body, gathering at the pit of her belly. She tightened her thighs and murmured hoarsely, “Alistair Connor!”

  His sexy laughter echoed through his office. “Such a prude, Beauty. I can’t wait to debauch you.”

  “You deviant.”

  “What I’ll do to you, Sophia, you can’t even start to imagine,” he whispered sensuously.

  Oh, my! “Alistair Connor, is this a booty call?”

  “Aye, consider it so. I can send the G6 for you. Now.”

  “I have to work, Alistair Connor. Stop tempting me.”

  “Never, Sophia, never. I have an agenda to achieve.”

  “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You. In my bed.”

  Sophia bit her lip to avoid moaning out loud. She inhaled deeply. Again. “I see.”

  “And?” he breathed.

  “And what?”

  “Will you help me fulfill it?”

  This man is impossible! “Alistair Connor, I will consider your kind request.”

  “Who said it was a request?” He laughed, quietly. “Look at it more as a warning, Sophia.”

  “Careful, Handsome. It can have the opposite effect.”

  “Beauty, I’m a master strategist. I never lose. You will fall. It’s just a matter of time.”

  “If I fall, I’ll take you with me, Alistair Connor,” she purred.

  “I live in hope, Sophia. Believe me. I do.”

  Leibowitz Oil Building

  3:20 p.m.

  The intercom buzzed, interrupting Sophia’s thoughts. “Yes, Sarah?”

  “Mrs. L, it’s Mr. Ashford on your private line. It’s his second call. He insists on talking to you.”

  Sophia blew out an irritated breath. “Transfer it, Sarah. And call Edward for me, will you? Tell him to come in without knocking. I’ll leave the door open.”

  Edward entered Sophia’s office quietly and looked around. She stood by the windows looking at the River Thames, talking on the phone.

  “No, I’m sorry. I can’t,” she said softly but firmly.

  He paused in the middle of the room and admired Sophia’s elegant and lean body delineated against the gray London sky. He cleared his throat, catching her attention.

  Sophia turned with a smile on her face and rolled her eyes heavenward, making a face at the phone. She mouthed to Edward, ‘Ethan.’

  He smiled back and walked up to her and kissed her brow.

  “I didn’t promise that, Ethan. Maybe we can schedule a lunch next week, but I’m busy this weekend.” She listened and replied to him, “Okay. I’ll make time for it next week and let you know, all right? I really have to go. I’ll send you an e-mail as soon as I make the reservations.”

  Edward sternly shook his head at her and she waved his scowl away.

  “Yes, okay. Do it and e-mail me. Take care. Until next week.”

  “Sophia, I don’t like this.” Edward frowned at her. “He’s being very insistent. It’s obvious that he still has feelings for you.”

  “Please, Edward. We’ve talked about it. He’s just a friend. Nothing more.”

  “You feel guilty. I don’t understand why. But I bet that is why you keep answering his calls. It’s not healthy. You should talk with Dr. Kent about this.”

  “I will, I will. But really, I don’t see any harm in going out for a lunch. He’s a gentleman. And I have so few friends here.”

  “Hmm. Just promise me you won’t encourage—”

  “Edward! I don’t encourage anything. I’d never play with Ethan’s feelings. He understands that we are just friends now. We had a lengthy talk over a lunch last Tuesday.”

  Edward gaped at her.

  “What?”

  “You went out with him again,” he whispered.

  “Oh, please, Edward. I didn’t go to bed with him. We had a quick lunch together. That’s it. I owed it to him.”

  “You owed him nothing. The guy hurt you. You should have gone to the police and pressed charges.” Edward’s temper spiked and he bristled. “I don’t believe what I’m hearing and I don’t believe I have to convince you of this. It’s your specialty. You worked on those kinds of cases in Brazil. How, tell me, how can you forgive a
n abuser like Ethan? He’s a violent man. You have to stop seeing him, Sophia.”

  “Edward, you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. I’m involved with Alistair, and what happened with Ethan is in the past.”

  “So leave it in the past. Don’t answer his calls and don’t go out with him anymore. If you meet him, be polite, but from afar.”

  Sophia studied Edward’s face. “Okay, all right. Maybe I’m being too lenient with Ethan. Maybe your view of the facts is correct.”

  “Sometimes your inexperience in these sexual matters baffles me, you know?” He shook his head. “There is no maybe here, Sophia. Listen to my advice. I know what I’m talking about.”

  “Yes, Papa, I’ll obey your orders.” Sophia kissed his cheek and walked to her chair.

  He smiled at her tease and sat in one of the armchairs by her desk. “So, what did you call me for?”

  Atwood House

  10:49 p.m.

  Sophia’s cell phone pinged, stopping the music for a second. She picked up her iPhone, programmed the music separately on the Wi-Fi, and searched for the message.

  Handsome. 10:49 p.m. - Are you sleeping?

  Sophia. 10:49 p.m. - If I were, I’d have gladly awoken. =)

  Handsome. 10:49 p.m. - I’m at a boring dinner. Another one. The same blah-blah-blah.

  Handsome. 10:50 p.m. - What are you wearing?

  Sophia. 10:50 p.m. - Ha-ha!

  Handsome. 10:50 p.m. - Indulge me. I’m hundreds of miles away.

  Sophia. 10:51 p.m. - Pay attention to your dinner partners.

  Handsome. 10:51 p.m. - I can only think of you.

  Sophia smiled naughtily and texted.

  Sophia. 10:52 p.m. - Nothing.

  Handsome. 10: 52 p.m. - Nothing, what?

  Sophia. 10:53 p.m. - I’m naked. I sleep naked.

  Handsome. 10:53 p.m. - Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

  Sophia. 10:53 p.m. - NA-KED!

  Handsome. 10:54 p.m. - Please, God, have mercy.

  Sophia. 10:54 p.m. - Everything all right UP there?