The Undead | Day 25 [The Heat]

by Haywood, RR

  That’s all he said. But it wasn’t an answer, and all it did was inflame everyone back up because now they felt like prisoners.

  For my own part, I will admit that had there been a way out right then I would have taken it. And I would have willingly given my money back too. Anything to be free of this damned awful place.

  I even contemplated trying to make contact with someone outside the project and maybe alert the British authorities. Then I realised Camilla and Albert were already working for the British authorities, and what good would it do anyway? Nobody could get to us. Not inside a secret mountain facility. I couldn’t even say where we were.

  Of course. Alexander would realise as our computer usage was completely monitored. How would he react if he caught me trying to whistle blow?

  And that is the thought that stopped me in my tracks, because I’ve just realised how much of a risk I am to them.

  I know about the project. I have seen the test subjects and the secret labs. This project is too big, and too important to ever let someone like me jeopardise it. Albert even said it. He said Alexander could fuck a nun and nobody would care. A crass statement, but the meaning is clear.

  If I thought I was scared before, I’m bloody well terrified now. There’s only one thing I can do:

  If I want to live, I have to do what they want. I have to agree to join them. It’s the only way.

  24th November.

  Another quick entry. I was just finishing putting my thoughts to paper when I heard my room door open and Camilla slipped in. She seemed startled to see me.

  ‘I thought you were out,’ she said.

  ‘No. I’m here,’ I said as I looked from her to the door as though to question why she was letting herself into my room.

  ‘I er, I wanted to surprise you,’ she said quickly. ‘And leave you a little love note.’ She rushed over to kiss me. But it felt wrong. Everything about it felt wrong. ‘What’s up?’ she asked when I didn’t respond. ‘Are you okay, Neal?’

  ‘I’m fine. Actually, I’m not bloody fine at all.’

  ‘Oh, you poor baby. What can I do to relax you?’

  ‘No. Get off me,’ I said when she started to paw at my clothes. ‘Camilla! I said no.’

  ‘You’ve been so brave, Neal.’

  ‘That is enough!’ Something in my tone made her stop and she drew back with a sharp look. ‘I’m going to see Alexander. I’m going to tell him I’ll join them.’

  ‘Why?’ she asked, and damned if her voice wasn’t entirely different. Harder too. Colder.

  ‘Because I don’t want to bloody well die, that’s why not!’

  She breathed a sigh of relief and softened her gaze. ‘You had me worried then, Neal. I thought you agreed with Donegal for a minute.’

  ‘Don’t worry. I won’t betray your mission.’

  ‘Neal. You’re not just a mission to me. I care for you.’

  ‘Sure, and we’ll find a cottage and live happily ever after. But tell me, what’s your favourite colour? What’s your favourite song? Because I don’t know anything about you. I don’t even know what hobbies you have when you’re not… Not sucking willies and seducing men!’

  There was hurt in her eyes. Something else too. A flash of anger perhaps, but damned if I know if she wasn’t pretending. I had no way of knowing. I don’t know her. I don’t know anything about her. Only that she is very beautiful, and women like Camilla just don’t find men like me attractive.

  ‘I like birds,’ she said into the silence.

  ‘Birds?’

  ‘Yes. Birds. I’m a bird watcher. That’s what I do in my spare time. I watch birds.’

  ‘Birds.’

  ‘Yes! Birds. I’m obsessed with them.’

  ‘Right,’ I said, thinking she’d obviously just plucked that one out of the air. Pun not intended. I half expected her to say she liked nerdy men too.

  ‘And I’ve got a thing for geeky men,’ she added.

  I knew she was playing me for a fool then. Women like Camilla, or whatever her name is, don’t like bird watching, and they certainly don’t like nerds. ‘I need to go,’ I said coldly. She pretended to be hurt again and nodded as she moved to the door but paused and looked back.

  ‘They can’t release C,’ she said. ‘You have to influence them.’

  I didn’t reply. I’ve had enough of being used. My sole intention is to tell Alexander whatever he wants to hear then get the hell away from this place. That’s it. To hell with Donegal and Hussein. And to hell with Camilla and Albert too.

  Signing off

  NB

  9

  Day Twenty-nine

  Camber Town

  ‘I’m afraid that was his last diary entry,’ Henry said into the silent café as Carmen stared down at her hands. Keeping her gaze low. Hiding her expression.

  ‘Holy shit,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘Talk about a cliff hanger. But hang on, how do you know all this?’

  ‘Jesus, Howie,’ Paula said, giving me a look.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Camilla was obviously sneaking in to read his diaries. He bloody caught her,’ she said as Carmen swallows.

  ‘Oh! That’s why she was… But I thought she was going in to leave the love note. Okay. Got it. But wow. So, Camilla was reading his diary eh? Blimey. I’m guessing this Camilla told you then, Henry?’

  ‘What the fuck,’ Paula said, blinking from me to Henry, then back to me. ‘Tell me you didn’t just ask that.’

  ‘Ask what? Camilla must have told Henry. How else would he know? Shame that was the last entry though. I wonder what happened. Oh, hang on! Reggie, didn’t you have Neal’s diaries?’

  ‘I did.’

  ‘Do you know what happened next?’

  ‘I do,’ Reginald said as he pulled a notebook from his own bag. The hard outer cover nearly destroyed and torn apart, and the papers within singed with burn marks.

  ‘Right. Spit it out then, Reggie me old mucker. I need to hear this. I’m hooked on the whole Camilla thing. She sounds interesting though. And that Albert. I bet you wished you still had them now, Henry.’

  ‘There is something wrong with you, Howie,’ Paula said. ‘Anyway, Reggie. Keep going.’

  10

  December 1st

  It’s been one week since my last diary entry, and one week during which my whole life has changed. Nothing will ever be the same again.

  It all came about on that last day. November 24th.

  I’d just had a rather confrontational chat with Camilla. I’d effectively called her a whore and suggested she sucked men’s willies for her job. She looked hurt by that comment, but the whole darned thing was moving too fast. Hussein and Donegal were constantly on at me. Alexander too. I was being seduced and groomed from all sides, and I’d had enough. The fights in the canteen, and the constant arguments had worn me down. There was no escape, and every little emotion was becoming magnified. Every nuance was bigger. The walls seemed closer. The ceiling seemed lower. The air too stale and too thick.

  Even now it brings forth a sense of panic and dread. The feel of that place, and what happened.

  I left my room and headed for the reception. Camilla was back behind the desk and I noticed Albert was also in the lobby fiddling with a light socket. The armed guards were on the doors and I could hear shouts coming from the canteen and work rooms as the scientists continued their loud slanging matches.

  ‘I want to go home!’ Dr Chirabati screamed out as she marched up to the exit door and started tugging on the handle. ‘LET ME OUT! I DEMAND TO BE LET OUT.’ She was desperate and wild. Screaming loudly and hammering her fists. I know that woman. Dr Chirabati is one of the world’s leading experts in climate change. She was on Donegal’s side from the very start and put forth reasoned discussions on the benefits to the planet for a mass cull to humanity. Yet there she was. Demented and wailing to be set free.

  The guards didn’t do anything. They just watched her until some of her colleagues rushed over to give
her comfort.

  ‘YOU’RE THE TERRORISTS!’ Another man yelled out. One of Hussein’s side. He was screaming in pure fury at another chap. Both in their sixties. Both grey haired wizened academics now reduced to goading the other to fight. It was the same in every direction. In every room and quarter. The whole thing had been whipped up into a frenzy that was ready to blow.

  ‘Dr Barrett,’ Camilla said as I approached the counter. She seemed tense, but the violence in the air was making everyone the same. ‘How can I help?’

  ‘I just want to bloody talk to him,’ I whispered angrily. ‘I’m out of it. Do you understand.’

  ‘Shush,’ she whispered back and dropped her eyes as though doing something behind the counter. ‘You need to calm down, Neal.’

  ‘I want out of this place. Can you get me out? Can you? I thought not. You’re as bloody trapped as I am. I’ll do what I can for you, but I’m out of this.’

  ‘Dr Barrett,’ Albert said, strolling over with that toothy grin of his. ‘You up for the gym later? We need to work on those heart and lungs.’

  ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ I asked while he smiled on like nothing was happening. Then he moved in close and fixed me a look of such violence it made a chill run down my spine.

  ‘Watch your step, nipper. You’re on our side. Remember that.’

  ‘Alexander? It’s Camilla,’ Camilla said into the reception phone. ‘I have Dr Barrett here. He wishes to speak with you. Certainly. I’ll tell him now. Alexander will be with you shortly, Dr Barrett.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said.

  ‘You do the right thing now, Neal,’ Albert said quietly. ‘Everything will be okay. Just do what he tells you. If you get out, then make contact with a man called Henry at the Office Of Fiscal Studies in the Treasury Department.’

  ‘What?’ I asked.

  ‘Good to see you again, Dr Barrett,’ he said with a wink. ‘See you in the gym later, and stop flirting with our receptionist.’

  ‘What?’ I stammered again as I looked back to Camilla and saw Alexander standing behind her.

  ‘I rather think our good doctor is sweet on you, Camilla,’ he said.

  ‘I should be so lucky,’ she said while giving me a huge smile. But the whole thing was too surreal for me. There were fights breaking out and people screaming to be set free while they joshed and joked like nothing was happening.

  ‘Dr Barrett. Come through,’ Alexander said.

  I headed after him into his office as he closed the door and took a seat behind his desk while I glanced to the wood panelling, expecting him to open the secret entrance.

  ‘How can I help, Dr Barrett?’ he enquired politely.

  ‘I er. I’ve been thinking,’ I said and glanced back to look through the window in his door to another fight breaking out, and the guards watching on passively as Albert waded in and pulled two old men apart.

  ‘Yes?’ Alexander asked. I looked back at him. At that blasted smile. At the games being played. Sweat was breaking out on my forehead. I felt sick to the stomach.

  ‘I agree.’

  ‘You agree?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes. I agree.’

  ‘I see. And exactly to what are you agreeing, Dr Barrett?’

  There it was. I had to make a choice. ‘C!’ I blurted. ‘I agree with C.’

  He nodded slowly. Seemingly evaluating me. ‘You would release a deadly virus that will kill 98 to 99% of the human race. Is that right?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Nearly seven billion people will die.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Why?’

  Damn him for staring at me like that. Like a cat he was. Toying with a mouse. ‘It’s the right thing to do,’ I said without much enthusiasm then immediately panicked that he would see through me. Of course, he would see through me. He knew I was just trying to save my own skin. ‘It’s bloody abhorrent,’ I added, spitting the words out without knowing I was going to say them. ‘The whole thing. It’s… It’s fucking wrong! But damned if it’s not needed. Look at them,’ I said and turned to watch the highly esteemed academics screaming abuse and throwing things at each other. And seeing it through the window, as detached as I was, was rather like watching primates in a zoo. The noise of them. The way they were all whipped up and forming gangs and tribes. Seeking allies to form sects to start wars because of belief, because of the interpretation of ideals. Because of free will. I didn’t need to say anything else. Alexander joined me and together we looked upon the children of men forever ruining the world.

  In truth. Right then. I did believe in the release of C. That’s how angry I was. If Alexander had given me a vial, I might have walked out and released it myself.

  ‘We found the Panacea,’ he said quietly, and when I turned to look at him, I saw a real man with emotion in his eyes. ‘We can cure the world.’

  But cure what exactly? To what end? For what purpose? For what gain? I didn’t say anything. Words felt cheap. The whole thing felt cheap and sordid. I felt cheap and sordid.

  ‘I want to go home,’ I said quietly. ‘Before you release it. I want to go home.’

  He nodded and seemed genuine this time. ‘Of course. We have time. Anyway. Come down and meet the team. I know they will be delighted you are on board.’

  ‘Alexander,’ I said as he turned away. ‘Did you know?’

  ‘Know what, Dr Barrett?’

  ‘Did you know you were going to release C before this project?’

  ‘Come. We’ll talk more.’

  We descended once more into the underground section. Once more into the abyss. That’s what it felt like anyway. I tried to think, but my thoughts were jumbled. I tried to remind myself I was only agreeing to save my own neck. But was I? Was that the truth? I kept thinking about Camilla, but I felt confused and rejected. She said she still wanted me, but I knew that wasn’t true. She said she was in love with me, but I knew that could never be true.

  ‘Dr Barrett?’ Alexander said, snapping me from my thoughts as I realised he had stopped by a door and was motioning for me to go through. I offered a mumbled thanks and walked through to a large conference room. An oval table dominated the middle. Covered with pastries and snacks. With bowls of fruit and jugs of coffee and juice. The room was busy and filled with chatter and talk. People in groups. Some in white lab coats. Others in normal attire. ‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ Alexander called out, bringing forth a sudden quiet as they all turned to look at me. ‘I am honoured to present Dr Neal Barrett, who has agreed to join us in our brave new world.’

  Applause broke out as those gathered rushed forth to clasp my hands and pat me on the bloody shoulder again. I was giddy with it all. Not knowing what to say or do. Not knowing how to be. My stomach was flipping over. My heart was thudding, and I thought I would pass out. Especially when Professor Donegal clasped my hand.

  ‘BARRETT! I knew you’d see sense. Ach. You’re not as daft as you look,’ he bellowed out, clapping me on the back as I swallowed and turned to the man stood with him.

  ‘Dr Barrett,’ professor Hussein said and took my hand in his. ‘I’ve lost the bet, Donegal.’

  ‘Aye. You bloody have,’ Donegal said, laughing with joy while he clapped Hussein on the back. ‘I told him, Barrett. I told him he’d never persuade you. Ach, don’t you all start chiding me now. I said Neal is a canny lad. I said he’s smart and he’d see the sense of it. Am I right, Neal?’

  More laughs. More grinning faces. But the sight that nearly broke me was seeing Dr Chirabati eating a pastry with some of Hussein’s side.

  ‘At least the mayonnaise is gone now,’ Hussein said, glancing at my trousers.

  ‘That’s not mayonnaise. That’s semen,’ Donegal called out to a great laugh.

  I don’t know what happened next. It’s a blur if I’m honest. The next thing I was sitting down and eating a pastry while the room slowly emptied, leaving me alone with Hussein, Donegal and Alexander.

  ‘You look white as a sheet, Neal,’ Donegal sa
id as they all lowered down into chairs. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘I’m fine. Just surprised.’

  ‘Aye. I bet you bloody are. Hussein deserves an Oscar for his performance,’ he said as he lifted a glass towards Hussein.

  ‘It was er… It was something else,’ I said. ‘Forgive me, Professor Hussein. You believe in the release of C? I’m just-.’

  ‘Believe in it?’ Donegal replied. ‘The man does more than believe in it. He bloody made it.’

  ‘What?’ I asked, while my mind went into a tailspin.

  ‘It was a joint effort,’ Hussein said. ‘I stumbled across something and reached out to Donegal. He checked my findings and we realised what we’d found.’

  ‘It wasn’t the Panacea at that stage, Neal,’ Donegal said. ‘More like an early prototype. He’d developed a virus that could be changed at will. That’s where I came in with my immunology background. It was my tweak that enabled it to be taken into the host body. But this thing, Neal. This thing is perfect. It doesn’t just cure diseases. It makes the blood clot faster. Wounds heal quicker. Muscles grow faster. It primes the body. It makes hair thicker and it strips fat. We’re not talking about just curing diseases, Neal. We’re talking about the evolution of a whole new species. One that is stronger. Faster. Fitter. They need less food. Less sleep.’

  ‘You’ve tested it on people!?’ I cut in.

  Donegal paused and pulled a face. ‘We’re not sanctioned for human trials. But aye. We have. We’ve tested it. It works.’

  I didn’t know what to say. ‘When?’ I asked.

  ‘When what, Neal?’ Donegal asked.

  ‘I think Dr Barrett is asking when it will be released,’ Alexander said. ‘Not for another year at least.’

  ‘Aye. Is that what you worried about?’ Donegal asked as I nodded. ‘No, it’s fine, Neal. We’ve got time yet. Alexander says another year, but personally, I think we’ll be ready in less time than that.’

  I tried to think, but still my thoughts wouldn’t come. My mind was so very foggy with too many ideas and questions all spinning about. ‘Why?’ I asked. ‘Why do this?’