Leah came out of her seat and kneeled in front of Abby, giving her a big hug as she did so. For a few moments all she did was hug Abby. But then she stood back up, went back to her seat, and began to talk “Ok. Here’s what you do. You go back to the office. You act cool and calm, no matter how you’re feeling inside. If he talks to you, keep it professional. If he brings up the other night, then just laugh it off and say you were in need of a little sexual release, and he saved you some battery power on your favorite vibrator. Play it off like you were horny as hell and he did a good enough job and thanks. It’s going to be awful and awkward, so just accept that and force yourself to get through it. It will be worse if you put it off.
“And as far as the magazine being sold. That’s huge, Abs. And when something like this happens it takes a while to really figure it all out and what this means for you long-term. I know this is an enormous blow to you, and you’re feeling really upset. I would be, too. But maybe the selling of the magazine isn’t the worst thing in the world. You haven’t really been loving the work you’ve been doing…”
“I know, I know, you love Max.” Leah continued when Abby tried to cut in. “And you’ve stayed to help him. But now you don’t need to do that anymore. Now you can go after what you want. I know you’re still getting offers to write, and isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”
As Leah spoke, Abby felt the implications of Max’s announcement really start to creep in. Until now, she’d been so focused on her panic about seeing The Suit, Carter, again. Now the greater issue that the magazine was shutting down was taking hold. This was the magazine that she’d given up her dreams for, what she’d worked so hard for over the past few years instead of doing what she had hoped and planned to do. And it was about to go away. With that, she felt a new panic, along with anger, begin to grow…overshadowing even her confusion about Carter.
“Oh God, I’m just so overwhelmed,” Abby sighed. “And pissed, and confused. How could Max do this to me? Why didn’t he tell me he was planning all this? And why, of all people, did he have to sell to Carter?”
The two friends continued to talk for another twenty minutes, before both realized that they needed to get back to their offices. Leah hugged her once again, and Abby thanked her again for coming, for listening, for giving advice. For everything. Then Abby squared her shoulders, wished like anything she could down a quick slug of any kind of alcohol for courage, and marched back to work.
Chapter 6
Heart racing with nervousness, Abby walked into the office determined to get the first encounter with Carter over and done with, only to be disappointed when he was nowhere in sight. Her colleague Beth told her that Carter had gotten a phone call and had closed himself in the conference room. No one had seen him since, and it was unclear if he was even still around. The conference room door was now open, but the room itself was empty. Abby was both relieved and disappointed that he wasn’t there, and all the emotions of the day were threatening to explode out of her. Already, she felt a familiar ache building between her temples that she knew could turn into a migraine if she didn’t release some of her stress. So when Max called her into his office, he unknowingly provided her with the perfect outlet for her tension. No sooner had the door closed behind them, when Abby let loose.
“How could you do this? Why? And without a word to me, a hint that this was going down. Please, Max, explain to me how what you did is okay? And please tell me why I should ever forgive you.”
Max’s face looked sad. And tired. But Abby refused to feel sorry for him. Even if it was true that she hadn’t loved the work, she had still given him everything to keep this place going. He owed it to her to have talked to her before making this decision. He owed her some kind of explanation.
“Abby, it’s killing me that I hurt you. I wanted nothing more than to tell you what was going on, but I didn’t because I thought you would try and talk me out of it.” Max began.
“Of course I would have tried to talk you out of it! We were supposed to be partners in this. And not only did you not make me partner like you promised, and I get that maybe you thought I was still too young and inexperienced, but now I don’t even have the chance to prove that I can do it. Now I have to start over somewhere. I just can’t believe you would do this to me.” Abby tried to hold it back, but a sob escaped. Max stepped over, putting his hand on her arm, trying to fold her into a hug. But Abby angrily shrugged it off.
“Don’t,” she warned. “Don’t you dare try to step in and comfort me now. Like you can be the savior here, the hero. You’re the one who did this. You didn’t have to, and you didn’t have to do it this way. But that was your choice. And you hurt me, and you hurt the people who have worked for you for years. So don’t think that you can be the one to make me feel better now. You’ve lost that chance.”
Max’s face dropped into an expression of defeat and extreme weariness.
“”You’re right, Abby. I did do this to you. And I know you’re angry. But someday I hope that you can understand why I did this. Believe it or not, I did this for you…”
“For me?” sputtered Abby. “Really? This was all for me? Well, gee, thank you so fucking much.” Max flinched a bit at her language, but stood tall taking her wrath. “You did this for yourself, so just admit it. You didn’t give two seconds of thought to anyone but yourself here. Stop lying.”
Now Max struck back. “You’re right, I did do this for me. And do you know why? Because I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting to keep this place in the black, when all it ever sees is red. I’m tired of watching, month after month, our subscriptions going down, while our costs keep going up. I’m tired of putting every damn penny I save into this place, and spending all my time trying to keep it going. I’m tried. Do you know when Sheila and I last took a vacation? Ten years ago, and it was to go to my niece’s wedding in South Carolina. That’s it. And I’m done with that. I want to take my wife to Fiji, like she’s been hinting about for years. I want to travel to Europe with her. I want to drive cross country and see all the kitschy tourist traps along the way. I want to make some new memories with her that don’t involve me telling her we don’t have the money, or I don’t have the time because of this place. So yeah, absolutely, I did this for me. But don’t think for one second that I didn’t also do it for you.”
Max paused, taking a deep breath, before going on.
“Don’t think I didn’t realize that you’ve been itching to get back into writing. But you’re too scared to do it without a push. You’ve gotten much too comfortable here, and you’ve stopped taking any chances. I know you want to write, and I’ve tried to give that opportunity to you here. But somewhere along the way, you stopped believing you could do it. So you told me that you were too busy managing things, that you just didn’t have the time to take on a writing assignment. You and I both know that was just an excuse because you’ve gotten too afraid to try. So I did this for me. But I also did it for you. And I did it for everyone sitting out there because we all know this couldn’t have gone on much longer. This magazine was shutting down sooner or later. I chose to end it sooner, while we’re still relevant, and while everyone out there still has a solid chance of finding another, better job. You may not thank me now. But someday you’ll realize what a gift I’m giving you here.”
Abby gaped at him. A corner of her mind was shocked that she’d been so transparent, that he’d seen the fear she’d tried to hide even from herself, her doubt that she could write after years of being a manager. But her emotions were too raw and she wasn’t ready to admit he was right, even to herself. Instead of taking a step back and letting the tension diffuse, she lashed back at him. She wanted, at that moment, for Max to bear the same pain that she was feeling.
“Wow, thanks Max. You’re right. Getting fired is just what I needed,” she spat out sarcastically. You’re the best. I’m so glad I spent the last three years of my life working here just to…no wait, not just working here, kicking my ass to keep t
his place going only to have you rip it all away without even a word to me first. You think you don’t need this anymore? Well guess what, the news world doesn’t need you either. And neither do I. Have fun in Fiji, or wherever, and don’t worry, you won’t have to see me again after today.”
Even as the words were spewing forth, Abby realized she was going too far. She felt sick at her own words, but was unable to apologize right now, because the pain of Max’ betrayal was like a knife in her heart. With tears in her eyes, she spun around to retreat from the office, only to run smack into 6’2” of solid muscle. Carter. Somehow, he had slipped into the room at some point during her encounter, and now effectively blocked her escape from the room. So much for dignified exits, Abby thought to herself, as Carter made no move to shift his position to let her out. Instead he glared disapprovingly at her. Abby herself was already feeling guilty for what she said to Max just now, but no way was she about to admit that. She was frantically trying to decide her next move, which mainly consisted of how she could gracefully get the fuck out of this office, when Max spoke quietly from behind her.
“I’m sorry Abby, I really am. I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be. But I really did do this with your future in mind, as much as my own. You’ve been like a daughter to me, and I never meant to hurt you. I hope that you’ll be able to forgive me someday.” He gave her a gentle squeeze on her shoulder before exiting the office, closing the door softly behind him. She dimly heard him tell the rest of the staff in a loud voice that he was leaving for the day, and he’d be back in the morning to answer any additional questions or concerns that they might have.
Chapter 7
Abby herself was only vividly aware that she and Carter were alone together. She had backed herself away from him, and now they were circling each other warily, like two wild animals deciding whether to fight or mate. She could feel him in every molecule of air that surrounded her. She breathed in the scent of him. He had a clean, soapy aroma combined with pure masculinity that made her feel almost dizzy because the smell was so damn good. An image of her licking him up and down flashed through her mind, and she felt the now familiar pulsing between her legs begin. She spun around and strode further into the office, trying to make it look as if she was choosing not to walk out instead of admitting that she was, in fact, trapped in here by him.
Then he spoke, his voice quiet, but no less commanding for it. It was full of condemnation. “Nicely done, Abby. I hope that made you feel better. Nothing like wounding those closest to you when you’re feeling down.”
The way he said her name, practically growling out the syllables, sent a shiver down her spine, a pang of arousal to her core, even though his voice was disapproving. She kept her back to him, not sure she could hide the lust from her eyes if she faced him right now. She felt too exposed and vulnerable.
He continued, “That man loves you like a father. And if you’d get out of your own head for just a minute, you’d see that what he did was as much for you as it was for himself. Jesus, if this was all about him, if he didn’t truly think of you as a partner…”
He waved off her protest as she opened her mouth to contradict his use of the word partner.
“I don’t care that it was never made official, you know you and Max were partners in this business. If he didn’t believe that, do you think he would have given you half the proceeds from this sale? Even someone as self-centered as you’re acting right now should be able to understand that he’s given you financial freedom to pursue whatever your little heart desires.”
Abby struggled to fight down the annoyance she felt at his judgement of her, and grasp the meaning of what he was saying. Finally, she turned.
“What….what do you mean, half the proceeds? What are you talking about?”
“You really don’t know? What did you think those documents were in the package you got today?”
“But…I never got the package. Or at least I never opened it. I…” She shook her head to clear it as her voice trailed off. She paused, then tried again. “I got an envelope, but I thought it would be a standard severance package. I was so pissed I couldn’t read it yet. I figured I’d have to send in my resume like everyone else.”
“Abby,” Carter said, “In all my meetings with Max, you were always the one he was most concerned about. He worried about all his employees, but you stood out from the rest.”
“What you said about half the proceeds, that’s for real? You’re sure?”
Carter nodded.
“I have to talk to Max. Oh my god, those things I said were awful. I feel terrible. I have to apologize,” she stuttered.
Carter laid a hand gently on her arm. “Give it some time. You’re still upset, and Max is too. You may have said some things to him you regret, but he’s probably regretting the way he handled parts of this situation, too. You should both cool down before you talk.”
Everything was happening to fast, she couldn’t process it all. She didn’t know what to say or do next. They both fell silent, staring at each other. Suddenly, Carter was taking up too much space in the room, too much of the air. All thoughts of Max fled from Abby’s mind. There was nothing in her world at that moment except for Carter and the memories of the things he had done to her in the club coupled with all the things she’d fantasied about him doing in the days since. Was he remembering too? She struggled to draw in oxygen, keep her breathing even. She wondered if he could see the pulse jumping in her neck. He must be able to, she thought, since she could feel it thumping throughout her whole body, especially in the space between her legs. She licked her lips nervously, and saw his gaze jump to her mouth. She watched his pupils darken, and felt her insides melt as she became riveted by his eyes drilling into hers.
“I…I should go,” Abby stammered, and leaving as much room between them as physically possible, she strode towards the door. He said nothing until her hand was on the knob.
“Stop,” he commanded. It was issued softly, but was still an order that was not to be ignored. Abby froze, her hand still on the doorknob. She pretended to make the decision, even though she knew she’d obey all along. Finally, she turned to face him again, her eyes wide, waiting for him.
Carter took two, swift strides towards her, before grabbing her waist and pulling her towards him. As he drew her body up hard against his, his mouth crushed hers, hard and demanding, his tongue thrusting against her lips, demanding she open for him. With a whispered sign of submission, she surrendered her mouth to him. He claimed it, owned it, his tongue exploring hers, his teeth nipping at her full bottom lip. Abby felt her knees going weak, and found her arms circling his neck, just to keep her from collapsing under his assault, the motion of her arms causing her breasts to rub against his chest. Carter eased their bodies apart slightly, eliciting a whimper of disappointment form Abby. Carter chuckled against her mouth, and slid his hand between their bodies, covering a breast with his palm. Abby’s nipple pushed hard against his palm, and her body arched into him. He moved his hand so that he could grasp the nipple through the thin fabric of her blouse and bra. He rolled it gently between his fingers, giving it a tug, and then a pinch, causing Abby to gasp.
“Hmm…” he murmured. “You like that?”
When Abby didn’t answer, he pinched her again, a little harder this time. “I asked if you like that,” he repeated, though the question sounded much more like an order.
“Yes,” Abby gasped, not sure where she was finding the oxygen to speak.
Carter slid his hand away from her breast and up to the top button of her blouse. With a quick flick, he had it open, and a second later he had the second button popped open as well. His fingers dipped inside her shirt to brush against the curve of her breast above the lacy edge of her bra. Another brush of his fingers, and the tips of them passed just under the lace, edging nearer to her rock hard nipple that was desperate to feel the touch of his fingers. Abby moaned and pressed herself against his hand, willing him to move faster. S
he could feel his arousal pressing up against her, and felt her hips rock against him in response. Carter groaned and pressed harder, nestling his dick between her legs, causing Abby to spread her thighs to accommodate him. His free hand ran down her back and to her ass, and lifted her up and against him so that she fit more directly on his cock, settling her on top of him as she began to rotate her hips faster. The hand that had been teasing her breast now pushed aside the lace cup of her bra, before cupping her breast firmly in his hand, both of them reveling in the feel of skin against skin. And still it wasn’t enough. Abby needed to be closer to him. The fabric separating them from each other felt like miles.
Suddenly Cater let out a rough curse. “Fuck. Abby, we have to stop.” When Abby continued grinding against him, he let loose with another curse as he pushed her roughly away from him.
“Not here, Abby. It can’t be here.” She stared back at him blankly, trying to come up with an audible response, but couldn’t will any words to her lips.
The shrill ring of his cell phone snapped her back to reality. He glanced at it and issued another muffled curse. “Shit, I have to take this. I’m sorry, Abby.”
He looked deeply into her eyes, and Abby saw a desire that matched her own reflected in them. She could see the evidence of his need still pressing up against the zipper of his pants. Without breaking their eye contact, he answered the phone with a hoarse “Hey. Give me one minute, okay?”
He put the phone down on the desk and reached for Abby with both arms. This time it was different. Softer. He pulled her towards him ever so slowly, dragging it out, his eyes on her the whole time. And suddenly Abby knew, this was it. This was going to be their “first kiss moment.” Only technically, it would be their second kiss. The first one had happened so suddenly, been so hard and fast and demanding, that Abby hadn’t been able to savor the anticipation of it. She hadn’t been able to construct in her memory the moment before it happened. This one she knew was coming. He was staring deep into her eyes, desire still clouding his own, and time slowed. Everything faded away until it was just the two of them, alone in the world. The office, the people bustling outside, the phone…all gone. His hands cupped her cheeks reverently, as his mouth descended towards hers. His lips hovered over hers for what seemed like an eternity before brushing across them once, twice, before settling on hers with gentle pressure. This time, instead of demanding, his tongue traced along the seam of her lips asking for her to open for him. She did, with a sigh, and her own tongue reached out to his. He groaned softly at the contact, and they tasted and explored each other for an exquisite moment, before Carter broke away again. He let his forehead rest briefly against hers, before stepping back and reaching for his phone.
The Price of Love Page 5