TwoSpells

by Mark Morrison

  As they approached the line in, Sarah saw that everyone entering was being thoroughly examined. “What’s going on?” she asked.

  “The line goin’ in is bein’ checked for any of the regular kind tryin’ ta’ sneak in,” Grandma explained. “It’s our only true sanctuary.”

  “Oh. Well what about the other line on the way out?” Sarah asked, pointing.

  Grandma smirked, looking toward a now red faced Grandpa. “Well, some time ago, a few unscrupulous characters nicked ah’ bauble or two. So they search everyone and everythin’ comin’ out now.”

  “Grandpa!” Sarah scolded.

  Suddenly a scuffle erupted in one of the lines. An alarm blared and red lights flashed on top of a massive steam powered x-ray machine. Several security guards pulled a vehicle over and ordered the driver to open an old wooden trunk. A leprechaun carrying a pot of gold jumped from inside the trunk and ran down the hillside into the olive orchard, spilling coins along the way. A melee broke out over the gold and a dozen or so gnomes crawled from the trunk to duke it out over the treasure.

  Additional security poured through doors that appeared suddenly in the surrounding bluffs. Two headed dogs snapped and frothed at the mouth as they dragged their masters toward the trunk. An extremely heavy set female security officer pointed in the direction that the leprechaun ran off to and the dogs bounded off, hot on its trail. Before long, the family inside the car had been shackled and cuffed and were being led back toward TwoSpells.

  “That poor leprechaun is in big trouble!” Sarah said.

  “Awesome! The Lucky Charms guy!” Jon cheered. “What kind of dogs are those?”

  “A Bicephalupuses. Crossbreeds,” Grandpa replied. “Half as much ah' two headed wolf as ah’ dragon they be.”

  “Killer pets!” Jon said.

  “Now don’t ya’ worry none kids,” Grandma assured them. “It’s for sure an odd lot, but they’re your people.”

  Jon leaned in close to Sarah. “This must be how Grandma and Grandpa felt at our family reunion.”

  Sarah stifled a giggle and turned to her grandmother. “Are those gnomes like yours?”

  “Oh. Yeah, I guess they’re ah’ wee bit perhaps,” she replied with a smile.

  Suddenly, a loud bang startled the four of them. A blue cloud of noxious fumes wafted across the entire entrance. Sarah and Jon coughed, frantically waving the smoke away while trying to see what had happened. Grandma and Grandpa covered their mouths with handkerchiefs.

  As the cloud cleared, an ugly old car pulled forward. The paint was peeling and worn, the doors were mismatched and duct tape was holding up the front bumper. A license plate on the front was dangling by one screw and read: BASSETHOUND.

  The driver hit the brakes hard, coming to a squeaky stop just short of Jon and Sarah. A hubcap dislodged and rolled past them and that’s when Sarah noticed that the car had eight tires instead of four.

  Jon stared at the driver, intrigued by the strange look of his hands. On each wrist he had two hands that faced one another, as if he could hold hands with himself.

  “Ya’ might want ta’ get that look off your face, Jon,” Grandma whispered out of the side of her mouth. “Before ya’ offend him.”

  “Sorry Grandma, but he’s so—so different.”

  Grandpa leaned across to Jon. “He’s what we call ah’ Forty. See, if ya’ count all his digits that be the total. But they don’t take kindly ta’ starin’ lad. They’re ah’ wee bit ornery and sensitive of spirit.”

  Grandma added, “And very strong magic. Not ta’ be taken lightly.”

  The curious man opened his door. It squealed and creaked as he slowly stepped out of his car, extending a bizarre double foot. He was extremely tall, nearly eight feet in height and had a shock of wiry black hair. His face looked as if it had melted down his head, stretched to twice its normal length. His eyes were set deep with several sets of droopy bags under each one.

  “What’re ya’ lookin’ at?” the Forty asked, pushing Jon. It’s whole body shook and wriggled. He seemed to be more skin than anything else.

  Jon’s mouth dropped open and his lips moved but no sound came out. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the Forty’s strange hands and feet. The man growled and stooped toward Jon. Sarah turned to her grandparents just as Grandpa started to dismount his peddler. Grandma took hold of his arm, stopping him. The saggy man was nose to nose with Jon.

  Sarah was red with anger. She leapt from her three-wheeler and charged at the Forty. “Leave my brother alone!”

  The Forty turned his attention to Sarah. He bent over and looked deep into her eyes. “Wee lass, ya’ shouldn’t have said that now.”

  Sarah eased backward, looking nervously to her grandparents. Grandpa was struggling to pull away from Grandma but she had a firm grip.

  The Forty stepped back a few paces, reached into his worn overcoat and drew out a short, crooked dual tipped wand. He twirled it about and began to chant. “Two for one, let it be done!”

  He arched his wand over his head and thrust a mighty charge of magical energy at the children. A translucent bubble of opalescent light flashed before her eyes and the Forty’s magical spell ricocheted, splashing over the crowd that had gathered around them. A cloud of colorful smoke and dust erupted around them, but they were untouched. The wrinkled man stared down at his wand in disbelief, swore loudly and threw it to the ground where he stomped on it with his double shoe. It screamed out in a fit of pain, shaking violently. He stomped on it again, harder this time. “Ya’ miserable bloke. Ya’ made a lousy partner, ya’ did!”

  Sarah glanced up at the suddenly restless crowd and realized that the spell had somehow affected them instead. One man and his sheepdog became one strange furry body with both heads. Mothers and children were now conjoined at the neck. Other innocent bystanders were collateral damage as well, mixed and matched into strange two headed creatures squabbling among themselves.

  “Heh. Sorry mates,” the Forty said, backing away with his four hands raised in the air. “Two heads are better than one now, ain’t they?”

  The crowd of conjoined people slowly circled him, shouting and demanding he change them back.

  The Forty stooped and retrieved his wand, pointing it at the angry mob. Its once brilliant glow ebbed from several fractures, leaking raw magic, crooked and moaning in agony. He nervously backed toward his car. “It’ll wear off soon enough. Very soon. Maybe—maybe a week? Two tops. Promise!”

  Sarah and Jon rejoined their grandparents. Grandma slumped in her basket. “Ya’ see Grandpa? You were worried for nothin’.”

  With the crowd busy with the Forty, the line into TwoSpells had shrunk considerably.

  “Mush!” Jon shouted to the hamsters in the three-wheeler. They sped forward, kicking their little feet as fast as they could manage and towing the group toward the towering gates.

  CHAPTER 16

  AS THEY REACHED THE GATES, several female guards in khaki uniforms stepped into their path with their hands raised. Each carried a curious looking device on one hip and a night stick on the other. They wore blood red baseball caps embroidered with the words Seventh-Sense Security, just like the hats in Grandma and Grandpa’s closet.

  A pair of them confronted Grandpa first, stoic and business-like. The much larger of the two wobbled over, her body quaking like a six foot mold of Jello and held out an impressive gold badge that matched the ones that the Collectors flaunted.

  “How can I help ya’—I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” Grandpa said.

  “Rebecca Puffin, Captain of Security,” she replied, raising a clipboard to her beaky nose. “And I’ll be askin’ me own questions if ya’ don’t mind. Now, what be your name and business here today?”

  “Zedekiah Moonfall,” Grandpa replied. “The usual business. Visitin’ your fair library with our two fine grandbabes if’n ya’ don’t mind. And maybe ah’ wee mineral soak ta’ soothe me achin’ feet.”

  He leaned back in his seat and rai
sed his feet to her face.

  “I might mind.” She puffed up, pushed his feet aside and circled the peddlers. “There’ll be no soakin’ in the mineral fountains, Sir!”

  “Sorry Captain, me mistake. It was just that one time if’n ya’ must know. Was purely medicinal.”

  “It won’t be this time,” she snapped, handing him a pen and the clipboard. “Fill this out and sign. Pronto!”

  Once Grandpa had finished, she snatched back the clipboard with a growl. “I’ll have ta’ check for any security issues.”

  Grandpa grinned as she signaled for several other security officers.

  Jon leaned toward Sarah. “Aren’t those the same kind of hats that fell out of the closet?”

  Sarah nodded as the crowd behind them moved a little closer, eavesdropping. A security team approached and started with Grandpa first. They lightly touched his temples with their fingertips and whispered into their headsets. Moments later, they snapped up straight and saluted him.

  Grandpa eased forward in his seat. “Now, are ya’ ready to let us through?”

  The Captain stepped up to Grandpa. “I apologize, Mr. Moonfall. I wasn’t aware. There was ah’ wee issue of an overdue text, but it seems ta’ be cleared up. Thank you for your service.”

  Rebecca Puffin started to approach Grandma, but gestured toward the gates instead. Grandpa didn't budge.

  “We can’t do that, Ma’am,” Grandpa said, dismounting his bike. “Me grandbabes are stayin’ with us.”

  The Captain decided not to press the issue. Instead, she threw a half smile at Grandpa and signaled the other security officers to come inspect the children once they’d finished with Grandma. The Captain approached Jon first, gazing into his eyes.

  “Do I know ya’ child?” she asked gruffly. “Your eyes look ah’ might familiar.”

  Jon shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. She reached up with both hands and placed her fingertips across his forehead. She began whispering a soft chant before pulling away with a shout of pain. The tips of her fingers were red and swollen, as if she’d been burned.

  “Are you all right, Miss Captain Puffin?” Jon asked.

  The Captain didn’t answer. She backed away and pointed at Jon. “Scan them!”

  Jon and Sarah looked to Grandma and Grandpa nervously. The rest of the team closed in and started their examinations of the children. One by one, each had their fingers scalded and fell back blubbering in pain. The Captain stood nearby grumbling into her headset.

  The Captain finished her conversation with an order for someone to meet her at the front gate. She stood beneath a sign that read: Magic Free Zone. Sarah read the small print aloud. “All use of magic is strictly prohibited. No conjuring, spells, curses, wizardry, witchcraft, voodoo, hoodoo, black magic, sorcery, hocus pocus, incantations or mumbo jumbo. Violators will be prosecuted and subject to permanent banishment.”

  “Well, that’s good news then,” Jon muttered. “Because we don’t have any magic yet.”

  Suddenly, another member of the security team arrived, tall and gangly—a giant of sorts. She wore a jacket pinned with hundreds of shiny metals. She walked directly over to the children and circled them as she sized them up. She clamped each of her massive hands on their heads, completely engulfing them. Her eyes rolled back as she drifted into an odd spiritual trance.

  Grandma and Grandpa watched on in confusion as she began chanting in a strange language they didn’t recognize. Her hands began to shake and tremble, icing up. Her giant fingertips turned blue, icicles forming around the edges of her wrist. Her chanting got louder. More forceful. The crowd gasped and backed further away. Grandpa eased off his three-wheeler and raised his walking stick, spinning it several times menacingly, causing several guards to intervene. Grandma reached over with one hand and pushed it downward, the other hand holding her wand readied at her side.

  Suddenly the freakishly tall woman shrieked in pain and collapsed to the ground, writhing in agony. The other security members ran to her side. The Captain stood over her, huffing and puffing in disbelief.

  “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Sarah cried.

  The crowd cheered for the children, but the Captain wasn’t amused. She barked new orders into her headset. She made a hand gesture to another security guard nearby who raised a strange spiraling brass horn to her lips and blasted a loud series of rhythmic tones.

  CHAPTER 17

  SARAH FIDGETED NERVOUSLY AS SHE waited for whatever was coming for them. Within moments, a dozen numbered golems trudged out of the front gates. They posted themselves in various defensive positions around the crowd.

  “You were captain too?” Sarah whispered to her grandfather.

  “Aye,” he answered, watching the approaching figure. “Another story for another day.”

  A young man of maybe seventeen or eighteen strutted toward them. He strode gracefully and decisively towards the children. He was handsome and confident, wearing a flowing cape of deep green silk that draped across a golden uniform. He wore black leather boots laced to just below his knees and carried a striking staff made of brushed steel set with a fire red ruby.

  He extended his hand and dropped to one knee at Sarah’s feet. “It be ah' great pleasure ta’ finally meet ya’, lass,” he said, locking eyes with her.

  Sarah blushed. “R-really?”

  He shut his deep blue eyes, raised her hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

  “H-how did you know we were coming?” Sarah stammered, quickly looking away.

  “Our destinies are said ta’ intertwine ya’ might say.”

  She didn’t quite understand what he was saying. “Our what?”

  He cleared his throat and suddenly spoke without an accent. “My sincere apologies, young lady. Is this better?”

  “Um, sure,” Sarah managed. It was incredibly jarring how quickly he was able to change the way he spoke.

  “You must be tired,” he said, spinning on his heel and pressing his hand to his chin as if he were pondering something. “You seem familiar to me. As if I’ve met you somewhere before.” A fine green trail followed his staff as he spun to face her. “Ah, well. I’m Liam, one of the caretakers and Junior Guardian of TwoSpells. Pleasure to meet you.”

  “It’s nice to meet you t-too.” The words caught in Sarah’s throat. “I’m Sarah.”

  Jon pushed his way between them and held out a hand. “I’m Jon, Sarah’s older brother.”

  “Well, now. You are, aren’t you?” Liam said, giving his hand a firm shake.

  “You dress weird,” Jon added as he let go of Liam’s hand.

  Liam laughed heartily. “I suppose so. Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m not much of a fan of it myself.” He ruffled Jon’s hair and crouched down to meet his eyes. “Of course, we all have our part to play. You’re more of a sword and board type of man, I take it. A dragon slayer.”

  Jon couldn’t nod hard enough.

  “I thought so,” Liam said, taking a step back. He lowered the end of his staff onto Jon’s shoulder. “It won’t be long before we’ll be calling you Sir Jon. You’ll make a fine knight.”

  “Really? You mean—real dragons?” Jon asked, his eyes wide.

  “As real as the—er—wrinkled shirt on your back,” Liam replied, crossing his arms. “And Dragons are just the beginning. Creatures from many worlds over are in dire need of slaying. Our knights simply can’t keep up.”

  Grandpa cleared his throat loudly, getting the junior Guardian’s attention. Grandma was struggling to get out of the rear basket. Grandpa was unfolding her walker when Liam stepped in front of them and gently extended a hand, helping her up.

  “It’s me finest of pleasures ta’ meet ya’, Ma’am,” Liam said as he gently pulled her from the basket. Grandma giggled while clinging to his hand, grinning from ear to ear.

  Grandpa scoffed. “Well aren’t ya’ just ah’ charmer.”

  Liam circled his peddler and smiled warmly. “That’s quite ah’ fine walki
ng stick ya’ have there, Sir.”

  “This?” Grandpa’s frown melted away as he reached back for his walking stick. “Carved it me self from an old lightnin’ struck oak.”

  Liam gasped in awe. It was carved with magnificent detail. As he reached out to touch the workmanship, Grandpa tossed it to him.

  “Ah splendid masterpiece, I most definitely fancy it,” Liam said, examining its depth. “I’ve only witnessed this masterful workmanship in the charmed villages of the Elfin of Hybrasil.”

  “You’ve got ah’ bloody fine eye lad,” Grandpa said, taking it back and glowing with pride. “It took nearly ah’ full year ta’ muster that kind of quality. I was tutored by the Elfin clan me self ya’ know.”

  Liam took a couple of steps back, smiled and tapped his staff sharply on the flagstone surface. It immediately jumped upward, now equipped with a double-edged blade protruding from the base. He raised the staff and struck downward into the flagstone, causing everyone to wince at the impressive sound of metal penetrating stone.

  “Would ya’ mind ah’ trade Sir?” Liam asked. “I’d be honored.”

  Grandpa was stunned. “This old piece ah’ lumber for such ah’ fine weapon as that?”

  “Take the deal!” Jon urged him. “That’s a dragon slaying weapon!”

  “True. Very true,” Liam said, snatching up the staff and holding it out for Grandpa. “Ah’ trade worthy of serious consideration.”

  Grandpa hesitated at first, but handed over his walking stick and seized the staff from Liam, hefting it over his head with both hands. He looked powerful as he spun the weapon in several impressive moves. He thrust it down into the flagstone, spraying shards of splintered stone.

  “Ya’ have ah’ deal chap!” Grandpa said with a grin, leaning on the embedded staff. “Ya’ can call me Zeek, if ya’ please.”

  Liam smiled and strolled forward with his new walking stick. “You’re all me personal guests today. I insist on takin’ ya’ for ah’ tour.” He spun in place and marched toward the gates.