Mom In The Making

by Carla Cassidy

  He grinned back at her. “Princess, I’ve got half a mind to reject everything I’m shown and stay here just to keep you sleeping on the sofa—unless, of course, you decide to join me and share the bed.” His grin widened. “Who knows, you might just discover that during the day I’m a briefs man, but at night I turn into a wild, crazy, boxers kind of guy.”

  She stared at him in surprise, then threw back her head and laughed, once again the sound of it shooting warmth through him. The twins laughed with her, clapping in excitement. “Perhaps in your dreams,” she finally answered, sobering only slightly when Carolyn walked back into the kitchen.

  “What’s so funny?” Carolyn asked, looking first at Russ, then at Bonnie.

  “Absolutely nothing,” Russ replied stiffly. “I’ve got an appointment. See you tonight.” Without waiting for a reply, he left the room, and a moment later the front door slammed with more force than necessary.

  Carolyn gazed at Bonnie reproachfully. “What did you do to him?”

  “Nothing!” Bonnie sank down in a chair, as a frown creased her forehead. “He hates me.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Carolyn scoffed as she began putting away the groceries. “He doesn’t even know you.”

  “What he knows about me he hates, and I don’t blame him one bit.” She sighed, discouragement sweeping through her. She’d always had a disconcerting knack for pushing people away from her, saying and doing things to make them back off. “Since the moment I met him last night, I’ve gone out of my way to be outrageous. I just can’t seem to help myself. Of course, I don’t care what he thinks about me,” she said with a touch of bravado, then continued more softly, “sometimes I just confuse myself.”

  Carolyn grinned. “Honey, you’ve confused me since the moment you were born twenty-five years ago.” She got a plastic bowl filled with blocks out of a lower cabinet and set it on the floor for the boys.

  Bonnie watched the children, embracing their laughter to her heart. There hadn’t been much laughter in the Baker house when she was growing up. “I envy you, Carolyn,” she said softly. “Someday I’d like to have what you’ve found here.”

  Carolyn sat down at the table across from her and grabbed her hands. “Bonnie, I want these things for you, too. I thought maybe you’d found them with that prince you were supposed to marry.”

  Bonnie shook her head, remembering how close she had come to ruining her life. “Helmut was a great guy and a lot of fun. I got caught up in the parties and the prewedding excitement. I wanted so badly to be in love, but I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I was about to walk down the aisle that I realized marriage to Helmut wasn’t what I wanted. He expected me to be the party girl, so for a while that’s what I was, but that’s not me.” She grinned. “Unfortunately, I’m not sure who me is.”

  Carolyn nodded. “I didn’t discover who I was and exactly what I wanted until I came here to gain custody of the twins. Remember I thought I’d fight Beau for custody, then take the kids back to New York and continue my work at the corporation. Falling in love with Beau changed all that.”

  Bonnie knew Carolyn had come to Casey’s Corners when her best friends had died in a tragic car accident, leaving the twins parentless and their custody up in the air. Carolyn was their godmother and Beau Randolf their godfather, and Bonnie was grateful to everyone that instead of a custody suit, love had decided the issue.

  Bonnie looked at the little boys once again, then at her sister. “I always knew you’d be a terrific mother.”

  Carolyn laughed ruefully. “I have to admit, there are days I worry about it. We didn’t exactly have the best role models as parents. Mother and Father were wonderful at making money, but they weren’t very good at raising a family.”

  Bonnie nodded, aware Carolyn was right. None of the Baker girls knew anything about family life. They had had little of it when growing up. Their mother, before her death, had spent her time flying from one lush vacation spot to another. Their father had either been at work in the plastics corporation they owned or en route to some exotic location to open a branch office. The Baker children had been raised by nannies and servants.

  What little closeness they’d had with one another had shredded to pieces two months ago when their father had been found murdered in his office and an eyewitness had seen their brother running from the scene. “Has there been any word from Sam?”

  Carolyn’s face clouded darkly. “Nothing. I just can’t understand it. I know he had nothing to do with Father’s murder, but I can’t understand why he’s on the run, why he hasn’t contacted any of us.”

  “I checked all the business associates in Europe to see if any of them have seen or talked to Sam, but nobody has heard from him,” Bonnie replied, despair welling up in her throat as she thought of her elder brother. “What about Colleen and Julianne? Have they heard from him at all?” Bonnie asked, referring to the youngest Baker sibling and Sam’s wife.

  “No, nothing. Sam was here in Casey’s Corners a couple of weeks ago. You know he was friends with the twins’ parents before the accident. When Beau and I went to their house to pick up some things for the boys, I found Sam’s address book in their spare bedroom. We asked all around town, and finally one of the waitresses in the café told us she’d served him coffee. Then he’d walked out to the highway. She’d assumed he was looking to hitch a ride out of town.” Carolyn stood up and poured herself a cup of coffee. “It’s been a couple of weeks since he walked down that highway, and it’s as if the highway swallowed him up.”

  Bonnie reached up and grabbed the gold phoenix charm that hung around her neck. Her father had given one to each of his children just days before his death. Bonnie was ambivalent about what the charm represented. On one hand, it was precious to her because it was the last thing her father would ever give her. On the other, it was a constant reminder that he was now gone, and she would never again have a chance to win his love.

  She got up from the table, disturbed by her thoughts. She didn’t want to think about the dysfunction of her family, didn’t want to dwell on the aching loss of both her father and her brother. It all hurt too deep, too much.

  “I don’t suppose there are any good singles nightclubs in town, are there?”

  Carolyn laughed. “I’ve heard the VFW is an action-packed place. The only problem is, most of the singles are over the age of sixty-five.”

  Bonnie leaned against the sink, watching as Carolyn put away the last of the groceries. “I just wish I’d meet some guy and there would be instant chemistry. You know, he’d look at me, and I’d look at him, and we’d know instantly that we were in love.”

  Carolyn snorted derisively. “That’s the way I always expected it to work, too. But it certainly didn’t happen that way with Beau. Do you want some breakfast?”

  Bonnie shook her head. “Tell me about you and Beau.”

  Carolyn sat down at the table, her face animated with happiness. “When I first met Beau, I thought he was the most arrogant, obnoxious man I’d ever met. I couldn’t stand him. There was chemistry, all right, but it was all the wrong kind.”

  “So what happened? How did it change?”

  “I don’t know.” Carolyn held her hands out in a gesture of helplessness. “All I know is at some point I realized I couldn’t bear the thought of not having him in my life, of not sharing my dreams, my days and my nights with him.” She smiled fondly at Bonnie. “You have to watch this love stuff. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it. If people had told me a year ago I would be married to Beau, I would have told them they were crazy.” She grinned and began wiping down the high-chair trays. “Who knows? Perhaps a year from now you and Russ will be married. Crazier things have happened.”

  “Now it’s you who’s talking crazy.” Bonnie laughed in protest. “There is positively no way. I know the kind of man I want as a husband, and believe me, it’s not that uptight, rigid cop with an attitude.”

  Carolyn moved to the stove, then turned and smiled at Bo
nnie. “You have the mistaken belief that somehow you can control these things. Believe me, you can’t.”

  “We’ll see,” Bonnie said with a healthy dose of self-assurance. Carolyn wasn’t factoring in one very important part of the equation. Even if, in a moment of insanity, Bonnie found herself attracted to Russ, there was no way he would ever be attracted to her. In the brief time he’d known her, he’d made it perfectly clear he didn’t like her.

  She remembered the disdain that had darkened his eyes when he’d gazed at her so critically. His eyes were the color of hot cocoa, but there had been no warmth in them. Even his tone of voice held a vague scorn when he spoke to her. No way, no how.

  No, there could never be a love match between the two of them. The best they could hope for was that they wouldn’t kill each other before Russ found a home of his own and Bonnie got his bedroom.

  Chapter Three

  Bonnie woke up suddenly. Sam. It was only a dream. He was running down an endless highway, running so hard that sweat gleamed on his skin and his breath came in harsh pants. Every few minutes he turned his head and yelled something back at her, but she couldn’t understand him, couldn’t discern what he said. She only knew his facial features were twisted with anguish, and he was warning her of danger. Imminent danger. No matter how hard she ran after him, she couldn’t catch him, couldn’t lessen the distance between them.

  Her heart ached in frustration, her need to find him, help him, filled her with a deep, aching anguish. Why, Sam? Why are you running? No matter how bad the circumstances looked surrounding the murder, she knew in her heart that Sam had nothing to do with their father’s death. So many questions, and absolutely no answers.

  “Ouch!” The yelp was followed by a string of muttered curses, pulling Bonnie out of her horrid dream.

  “Wha...who’s there?” She sat straight up, blinking to focus in the darkness.

  Against the faint illumination from the street lamp, seeping in around the edges of the curtains, she made out a shadowy, broad-shouldered figure. “Who’s there?” she repeated in alarm.

  “It’s me. Russ.” His voice sounded funny, and with a moan he sank down on the edge of her bed.

  “What are you doing? Get off of there.” She kicked out her feet, connecting with the solid wall of his back.

  “Hey, stop that,” he protested, his breath hissing between clenched teeth. “Just let me catch my wind a minute. I think I broke my toe on the bed frame.” His shoes clunked to the floor, and he moaned again. “This is what I get for trying to be thoughtful and taking off my shoes to be more quiet.”

  Bonnie reached over and turned on the light next to the bed, casting the room in a soft light. She rubbed her eyes, attempting to banish the last of the bad dream. The room was stuffy and she was unsure whether the perspiration at her hairline was due to the heat or the intensity of her dream. She drew in a deep breath, then looked at Russ, who massaged his big toe through his sock. “Do you think it’s broken?”

  “I don’t think so. But damn, it hurts.” He pulled his shoes back on and stood. “I’m sorry I woke you up. I was trying to sneak in, but I didn’t count on stubbing my toe.”

  “Actually, I’m glad you woke me up. I was having a nightmare.”

  “Was it the one where you’re on a beach and realize you’ve forgotten your suntan lotion? Or maybe the one where you’re in a store and can’t find your charge card?”

  Bonnie gazed at him scathingly. “You really are something.”

  He shrugged, although his cheeks flushed slightly. “I call ‘em like I see ’em.”

  “Then you’d better check into a pair of glasses,” she returned irritably. She threaded her fingers through her hair, pulling it away from her face. “What time is it anyway?”

  “Almost one.”

  She looked at him in surprise. “I thought you got off duty at ten.”

  “I do. After work Waylon, the other deputy, and I had a couple of beers.” He smiled mockingly. “Of course, had I known you’d be waiting up for me, I would have hurried directly here.”

  Bonnie snorted, not even dignifying his remark with a reply. Grabbing her robe from the side of the sofa bed, she pulled it on, unwilling to go back to sleep with her dream still so fresh in her mind.

  “What are you doing?” he asked as she flung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m going to have a glass of milk and a piece of cake.”

  “Sounds great. Do you mind if I join you?”

  “Yes, I do,” she answered, knowing he would anyway. She turned on the kitchen light as she entered, intensely aware of his limping presence just behind her. Ignoring him, she got herself a piece of cake and a glass of milk, then put the remainder of the cake and the milk jug back in the refrigerator. She sat down at the table and began to eat.

  He chuckled and retrieved the items from the fridge. “So, Princess,” he said as he joined her at the table. “How long do you intend to be in town?”

  She shrugged and smiled. “I figure as long as I can be the bane of your existence, my mission here isn’t complete.”

  He paused a moment, gazing at her speculatively. “You think we could call a truce for a few minutes?” he asked. “I’ve had a few beers, I’m feeling pretty mellow and verbal sparring always gives me indigestion.”

  “You started it by making fun of my nightmare,” she reminded him.

  He nodded. “You’re right. I apologize.”

  Bonnie eyed him suspiciously, unsure if she should believe him. She decided he looked sincere. “Apology accepted,” she finally replied.

  “So, what did you all do this evening while I was out risking limb and life to keep this little town safe from criminal activity?” He joined her at the table, sitting across from her.

  “Not much. Caro, Beau and I mostly talked, catching up on one another’s lives. It’s nice to see Caro happy, and Beau seems like a nice guy.”

  “As far as I’m concerned, he’s one of the best,” Russ stated. “I couldn’t believe it when he offered me the job, then his hospitality here until I got settled in my own place.”

  Bonnie nodded. After spending the evening with her brother-in-law, she could attest to his charity. She’d finally admitted to Carolyn and Beau that she was broke. Beau had instantly offered her a loan, but she’d declined, instead asking him if he knew of any jobs in town. She’d seen a momentary flicker of respect in his eyes as he promised to keep his ears open for anyone hiring.

  Russ interrupted her thoughts. “So, tell me about your nightmare.”

  She shook her head, unwilling to share her dreams with this man she barely knew and wasn’t at all certain she liked. Besides, she wasn’t sure she wanted him to know that her brother was a fugitive from justice. “I barely remember it now.”

  “Hmm, too bad. They say you can tell a lot about people by analyzing their dreams.”

  “Or sorting through their garbage.”

  Russ laughed and Bonnie’s breath caught in her throat. She’d assumed his laugh would sound strained, uptight, but instead it was robust, filled with life. It disconcerted her. Why was his laugh so...so pleasant? She focused on the piece of chocolate cake in front of her for a moment, suddenly aware that the kitchen seemed too small and far too warm. “Why is it so hot in here?”

  “It’s August. The dog days of summer.”

  “Don’t Carolyn and Beau have an air-conditioner?”

  “No, they don’t.” He grinned at her look of disbelief. “Part of small-town charm. People from Kansas come from hardy stock. A little heat doesn’t bother them.”

  She eyed him curiously. “Carolyn told me you’re from Chicago. Being an officer out here in Casey’s Corners must be quite a bit different.”

  Before answering, he popped a bite of his cake into his mouth, then washed it down with a gulp of milk. “All the difference in the world. Police work in a big city is much more intense. It leaves time for little else i
n your life.”

  “Is that why your wife left you?” Bonnie instantly bit her lip, feeling bad the question had slipped out. “Sorry, that’s none of my business.”

  “It’s all right. It’s no big secret. Yes and no, my work certainly contributed to Anne leaving. But we’d had problems from the very beginning of our marriage. Anne was young when we married, and Daniel came along right away.” He leaned back in the chair and frowned as if he regretted saying so much. “In any case, Daniel and I are looking forward to a fresh start here.”

  A fresh start. That sounded wonderful. That’s what she wanted, also. A fresh start to work at happiness, to build something lasting. She wanted to shove away all the unhappiness of the past once and for all.

  As Russ continued to concentrate on eating his case, Bonnie focused on him, noting the faint shadow of whisker growth that darkened his chin and emphasized the lean planes of his cheeks. The cleft in his chin was provocative, offsetting the strength and boldness of his other features. There was no getting around it—the man was something of a hunk.

  Whatever he had drunk in the bar before coming home had apparently relaxed him. He appeared more at ease, his face not as strained. She was startled to realize they were actually having a civil conversation. She wondered if it would be possible to keep him pleasantly buzzed for the remainder of the time they shared their living space.

  “Do I have frosting on my nose or something?” he asked, a grin tugging at one corner of his mouth, letting her know he was aware of her scrutiny.

  “Or something,” she answered as warmth crept into her cheeks.

  He laughed, as if enjoying the fact that he’d caused her to blush. “Don’t worry, Princess. You won’t have to put up with me anymore after tonight.”

  She looked at him in surprise. “The house you saw today?”

  “Is perfect and I’m moving out first thing in the morning and sending for Daniel tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Well, that’s wonderful.” For a moment Bonnie was shocked by the swift wave of disappointment that washed through her. She realized a little piece of her enjoyed tormenting the handsome cop and would miss the daily opportunity to do so. “Tell me about the house.”