Ray of Love (Ray #3)

by E. L. Todd

  “She’s perfect,” he countered. “Tell me one bad thing about her.”

  Like I would be stupid enough to do that. “Dude, there’s nothing wrong with Rochelle. I never said there was. But I still think you’re doing this for the wrong reasons.”

  He took the ring back. “Whatever.” He shoved the box into his pocket then left the table.

  I let him go because I knew we both needed some distance. What I said was hurtful, and I couldn’t blame him for being upset with me. After he took some time to think about it, he would see that I was right.

  ***

  A week went by, and I didn’t hear from him.

  I was supposed to call it off with Kayden, but I was too depressed to end things with her while I was stressed about my best friend. So I kept having sex with her around the clock, and fortunately, it made me feel a little better.

  By the end of the second week, I couldn’t take the silence anymore.

  I wanted us to be friends again. I even wanted to apologize for hurting him.

  I went to his house and knocked on the door.

  He answered it with a grim look, not seeming happy to see me at all. But if he really didn’t want to talk to me, he wouldn’t have answered the door. Wordlessly, he walked away.

  That was the only invitation I was going to get.

  I followed him into the house and to the couch in the living room. The game was on, but the TV was on mute.

  He sat on one couch.

  I sat on the other.

  He didn’t look at me, which told me he wanted me to speak first.

  “I want to apologize for last week. I hope you understand I would never hurt you on purpose. As your best friend, it’s my job to tell you things you don’t want to hear. I meant well—really.”

  He rubbed his palms together and stared at the floor, his jaw clenched like before. “Yeah…I know.”

  At least he was reasonable about it.

  “If you want to marry Rochelle, you know you have my full support. I’ll be your best man, and I’ll be damn happy for you. But I needed to say that just in case you realized this wasn’t right for you.”

  He continued to move his palms together slowly.

  I didn’t say anything else, giving him the floor. Judging by the tightness in his jaw, he did have something he wanted to say.

  “I admit, when Rochelle and I got together, I was going through a hard time. It wasn’t the fact that I couldn’t be with Rae that bothered me. It was the fact that I didn’t step up when I had the chance. Ryker swept her off her feet, made her fall in love, and then broke her. I missed my chance out of pure stupidity. When I met Rochelle, I knew she was really into me. She was sweet, pretty, and kind. I threw myself into the relationship to feel better. Now, when I look back on it, I know you’re right.”

  At least he admitted it.

  “But our relationship is different now. We’ve grown from what we were when we first started dating. I have no doubt in my mind she’ll make me happy for the rest of my life. She’s smart, accomplished, and incredible. I really couldn’t ask for someone better.”

  I still didn’t think they should get married so soon, but it was obvious Zeke had made up his mind. I said what I needed to say, and that was all I could do. “Then I’m happy for you. When are you going to ask?”

  “In a few weeks. My friend has a yacht in the harbor, so he said I could use it for a romantic dinner. Then I’ll get down on one knee and ask for her hand.”

  “Wow. That’s damn romantic.”

  He finally smiled for the first time. “It is.”

  “The girls will be excited.”

  “About that…don’t tell them.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “You know how they are. They couldn’t keep a secret if their lives depended on it. The second they’re around Rochelle, they’ll act different and give it away.”

  “Yeah…true.”

  “Keep it to yourself.”

  “You got it.”

  Now that the hard conversation was over, he leaned back into the couch and put his feet on the coffee table. “Break up with Bonnie?”

  “Who?”

  “That girl you’ve been seeing.”

  “Oh…no. I haven’t gotten around to it.” I was too stressed about Zeke to even consider it. All the sex she gave me made me feel better. Without it, this week would have been much worse.

  “Let me know how it goes. Hopefully, it’s not too late.”

  “Too late for what?”

  “Hopefully, she hasn’t already fallen in love with you.”

  ***

  “Hey.” I walked in the door and saw her sitting on the couch.

  “Hey.” Kayden immediately jumped up with a smile on her face, so excited to see me. Like Safari waiting for Rae, she looked like she’d been waiting for me to come home all day. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me hard on the mouth.

  I loved that mouth. So warm and soft. She had the plumpest lips, the kind I could devour all day long. The thought of no longer kissing those lips anymore made me sadder than I expected, but I knew it was the right thing to do. This had gone on for too long, and if I didn’t end it soon, it would just ruin our friendship.

  “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” I kissed her a little longer before I finally pulled away.

  “What were you doing?”

  “I went by Zeke’s place. We kinda had an argument, and I wanted to work things out.”

  “About what?”

  I’d keep his secrets. “Just stupid guy stuff. We made a bet, and I never paid him when I lost…”

  “Well, I’m glad you guys worked it out. So, what do you want to do? Go straight to the bedroom?”

  If we did that, we would never talk. “Actually, I wanted to talk about something…”

  She knew it was serious by my tone. Her arms left my waist, and she took a step back, the joy in her eyes completely gone. “Oh?”

  “About us… I’ve been having a lot of fun. The sex is incredible, you’re incredible, everything is incredible. But…”

  “But, what?”

  “I think we should put an end to it. We’ve been fooling around for a few months now, and I’m afraid it will affect our friendship if we keep going. Soon, it might become more serious than either of us wants, you know?”

  She stared at me blankly, her face a concrete wall. She didn’t even blink.

  What was she thinking? “I don’t want the group dynamic to be off. People might notice something if we can’t be around each other anymore. I just don’t want to ruin what we have. Too much of a good thing can lead to a bad thing.”

  Still, nothing. She crossed her arms over her chest and stepped back.

  Was she pissed at me? “Kayden?”

  She cleared her throat then ran her hand through her hair, snapping out of it. “Sorry, I was thinking about something else…”

  Right now?

  She cleared her throat again. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Maybe we should stop…for the sake of our friendship.”

  I knew she would be cool about this. There was no possibility she’d fallen for me. If she did, she would have said something by now. We were just two friends using each other to get off. People did that sort of thing all the time. “You wanna go for one more round? You know, seal the deal?” Anytime I was alone with her, my cock was hard and eager to get down to business. Maybe one more fuck would get her out of my system.

  “Actually…I have to be somewhere. I forgot I have plans with a friend from the library. We’re getting rid of the card catalog system and replacing everything with computers, so we’re going to get a drink and discuss how we’re going to do that.”

  On a Friday night?

  “I should get in the shower. But I’ll see you around.” She walked away without even letting me out. Her feet echoed down the hallway, and she closed the bathroom door behind her. A moment later, the water started to run.

  H
er hair and makeup were already done so it didn’t seem like she needed a shower. But I didn’t understand women, so perhaps I was missing something. I turned to the door and let myself out.

  Chapter Five

  Rae

  “Kayden’s not coming?”

  Jessie walked with me inside the bar, our arms linked together. She looked like a beauty queen, as always. “She said she had plans tonight but didn’t say what. That’s all I know.”

  “Well, we do have friends outside the five of us. Can’t blame her for wanting to take a break once in a while.”

  Jessie stopped walking in the midst of the crowd. “Zeke and Rochelle are over there.”

  I saw them standing close together, both wearing stupid smiles on their faces from being so damn happy.

  God, I felt guilty for that dream I had.

  And the other two after that.

  “But…” Jessie nodded in the opposite direction. “There’s a really fine hunk over there.”

  “It’s okay. You talk him up, and I’ll say hi to Zeke and Rochelle. You want me to get you a drink?”

  She slipped out of my hold with a mischievous look on her face. “If things go according to plan, he’ll be buying me one.”

  “True.” I watched her walk to the tall stranger in the corner before I joined Zeke and Rochelle. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Hey, Rae.” Rochelle hugged me like she usually did.

  I purposely stayed far away from Zeke and hardly said hello to him. I couldn’t bring myself to look him in the eye, not after all the dirty dreams I’d had. He gave it to me good, and every time I was sleeping, he made me come—hard. If Rochelle knew what I was thinking… Well, she had my full permission to scratch my eyes out.

  Zeke immediately noticed my peculiar behavior. “All right?”

  “Just a little buzzed,” I lied.

  Zeke didn’t press me on it, probably because Rochelle was there. He glanced toward the door and saw someone he recognized. “Baby, the guys are here. I’m excited for you to meet them.”

  I saw three guys walk in. Judging by their ages and looks, they had to be friends from school because I didn’t recognize them.

  Zeke walked us over, and he made his introductions. “Guys, this is Rochelle.” They all shook hands with her before they shook hands with me. “We went to undergrad together. Thought we’d all hang out tonight.”

  The guys were quiet, staring at Rochelle like they knew her but couldn’t place her.

  “She works in pediatrics,” Zeke explained like that would answer their unspoken questions.

  Zeke’s phone began to ring, so he checked the screen. “Goddammit, it’s Rex. He’s probably lost somewhere…” He pushed through the crowd and headed toward the entrance.

  Rochelle seemed uncomfortable by their stares, so she excused herself to the bathroom. “I have to pee. I’ll be right back. You mind holding this?” She extended her drink to me.

  “Yeah, of course.” I took it, and like an alcoholic, I held two glasses.

  She walked away, and I was left with these guys I’d never met.

  I tried to make conversation. “So you guys went to Washington State too?”

  Like they didn’t hear me, they talked about something else. “Didn’t realize Zeke was so into Lane Bryant.” He chuckled as he said it, and his two friends laughed along.

  What?

  Another one said, “But I guess it’s more cushion for the pushin’.”

  They busted up laughing like it was the most hilarious thing in the world.

  “She’s definitely not a cheap date.” The man in the center laughed at his own joke, again. “Not if he takes her to a restaurant.”

  It took me a second to realize what really was going on. At first, I thought I misunderstood what they were saying. After all, I was Zeke’s friend, and they were saying that shit right in front of me. “Excuse me?”

  They kept chuckling until their laughter died down.

  “Who the fuck do you think you are?” My rage came out of nowhere. I didn’t even know I had it in me to explode like a volcano. “And you think you’re perfect, Mr. Big Nose and Mr. Chest Hair?” I threw both of my glasses into their faces and splattered the liquid across their clothes. “Grow up, dickfaces. You should be ashamed of yourselves. I know I am.”

  I walked around them, about to storm off to tell Zeke exactly what his so-called friends said behind his back. But I ran into Rochelle instead.

  And tears were pouring out of her eyes.

  Oh no.

  She covered her face and dashed away, moving past the crowd and making it through the back door. She walked outside and was greeted by the cold air, her hair flying about in the breeze.

  I went after her and joined her on the sidewalk. Fortunately, no one was back there, so she had some privacy. One car drove by, but that was our only company. “Rochelle…” I saw her body shake as the tears continued to rock her body. “Don’t listen to those assholes. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

  “But they’re right.” She held her tears back long enough to say a few words. “Zeke is out of my league. He’s perfect, gorgeous, and his body…is beautiful. I’m just some fat girl.”

  “Rochelle, don’t say that. That’s not true at all.”

  “Yes, it is.” She continued to cover her eyes so I couldn’t see her cry.

  “Don’t let them kick you down like this. Their actions say a lot more about them than they do about you. You’re beautiful and perfect just the way you are. You really believe Zeke thinks any different? He loves you for you. So who gives a shit what some insecure assholes say? Their opinions are irrelevant.”

  She wiped her face, smearing her makeup in the process, and then sat on the curb of the sidewalk. She pulled her knees to her chest and sniffed a few times, her tears finally subsiding.

  I sat beside her and was relieved she finally calmed down. Seeing her cry was heartbreaking, and I had to stop myself from marching back into that club and doing something worse than throwing drinks in their faces. “From the beginning, all of us have loved you for Zeke. Hands down, you’re our favorite.”

  “Really?” she whispered.

  “Absolutely. You make Zeke so happy. And I can tell you love him. You’re perfect for him.”

  “That’s nice of you to say…”

  “I told those guys off and threw drinks in their faces, just so you know. And I’m sure Zeke will kick their asses once he finds out.”

  “I wish I could have seen that…”

  “I’m sure someone recorded it on their phone. Maybe we can track it down on YouTube.”

  She chuckled slightly. “Yeah, maybe.”

  I rubbed her back gently. “It’ll be alright, Rochelle. There will be people in our lives that hurt us. But we have to laugh it off and keep going.”

  “I know, I know. Sometimes it’s hard.”

  “Yeah…I know.”

  When she looked at me, her eyes were red and swollen. They were puffy from the way her fingers touched her skin, and her cheeks were still blotchy from sobbing. But her eyes still had their natural blue beauty. “When I first met you, I was so intimidated by you.”

  “Me?” I pointed a finger into my chest because her sentence was ridiculous. “The nerdy tomboy?”

  “When Zeke told me how he used to feel about you…I felt threatened. And then when I met you and realized how pretty you are, I was even more insecure. But you’ve always been so nice to me. And you’re such a good person. Now I don’t blame Zeke for feeling the way he did. If I were a guy, I’d probably feel the same way.”

  I heard what she said, but it took me nearly a minute to process it. “Feeling what way?”

  “How he used to be in love with you.” She moved her fingertips around her eyes, doing her best to fix her makeup. Her mascara had run to her cheeks, and her eyeliner was smeared around her eyelids.

  The nighttime air was cold, but now it was freezing. My hand stopped in the center of h
er back and felt her distant beating heart. Time seemed to slow down as her meaning hit me right in the chest.

  Zeke used to have feelings for me?

  I just…couldn’t believe that.

  When?

  How?

  He used to be in love with me?

  Rochelle watched my reaction, and slowly, her eyes narrowed. “Did you…not know that?”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. “I…no.”

  “Oh…” Her eyes reddened in embarrassment then she covered her face again. “I’m so sorry. I thought you knew. He made it sound like everyone knew about it.”

  “It’s okay…” What else was I supposed to say? I was in total shock.

  “Anyway…you’re a really good person, Rae. Not very many people would have had my back in there.”

  Her words brought me back to the conversation and the whole reason why we were sitting on the sidewalk to begin with. I could process what she said later. But right now, I couldn’t dwell on it. “Of course, Rochelle. You’re my friend. Anyone else in the gang would have done the same thing. Well, except Rex. Rex would have knocked them all out right then and there.”

  “Zeke has the greatest friends…”

  I pulled my hand away from her back and rested it on my lap. I stared at the reflection of the streetlights on the damp road. The stars couldn’t be seen because it was overcast. But for Seattle, it was still a beautiful night.

  “Rae?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Could you not tell Zeke about what happened in there? I don’t want him to get upset and do something he’ll regret. And…it’s really embarrassing.”

  If that’s what she wanted, I would give it to her. “Of course. But could you do something for me?”

  “Yeah. What?”

  “Could you not tell Zeke you told me that?” I didn’t know what I was going to do with the information, but I certainly didn’t want him to know that I knew. It might make things awkward between us. After all the sex dreams I’d been having about him, I already felt awkward.

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks.” I stared down at my hands and suddenly felt uncomfortable sitting next to her. Just the night before, I’d dreamed that Zeke took me from behind and rocked my world. Then he whispered he loved me in my ear. I was a terrible person for having those dreams, even if they were out of my control. If she had those dreams about Ryker when I was seeing him, I’d go ape-shit crazy on her ass.