Ray of Love (Ray #3)

by E. L. Todd

  He shrugged with a sigh. “It just didn’t work out. I didn’t think she was right for me.” He gave me that intense gaze again, saying more with his eyes than his mouth.

  “You broke up with her?”

  He nodded.

  “Oh…I’m so sorry.”

  “Thanks. But I’m okay.”

  I continued to stare at him because I was still in shock. How did they go from being in love to going their separate ways? “Did she do something?” Rochelle was always so thoughtful and nice. I couldn’t picture her making a single wrong move.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I just realized we were going too fast, and I didn’t see it going anywhere. I thought it was best to end it now rather than hurting her more later.”

  His vague response still didn’t answer my question. There was something missing, but he refused to confide it to me. I left my couch and sat beside him on the other side of the room, forgetting proximity. My thigh touched his before I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry. I know this must be hard for you.”

  He paused before he moved his arms around my waist. His muscular arms dug into my sides as he gripped me tightly. He moved his face into my neck and breathed normally, his cologne flooding my nose and making me think of pine needles. “Thanks.”

  The hug felt amazing, like I was right at home. I could stay there forever and bask in his natural warmth. I wanted to run my hands down his back and feel the rippling muscle underneath his shirt. I wanted to get completely naked and snuggle under the sheets in my bed. I wanted to wrap my legs around his hips and feel his strength push me down into the mattress.

  All that wishful thinking made me feel guilty. He just broke up with Rochelle, and all I could think about was getting him in my bed so I could make my dreams come true. I forced my hands to unclasp from around his neck so I could pull away.

  While I wanted him for selfish reasons, I was more committed to being a good friend. So I said something I didn’t really want to say. “Are you sure this is the right thing to do?” When I looked into his eyes, I saw his blue irises glued to my face. His hands were still around my waist and his fingers slowly loosened. “Rochelle was amazing, Zeke. She’s definitely the best girl you’ve brought home. We all love her. Maybe you should take some time to think about it.”

  His voice barely came out audible. “No. I don’t need to think about it.”

  Why did I feel like he was implying more than what he was really saying?

  “I made the right decision. I have no doubts.” He pulled his hands away so we weren’t touching at all anymore. “I admit I’m in pain, and I’ll need some time to get over our relationship. Rochelle really is a great person. But I know where I belong—and it’s not with her.”

  He seemed certain in his decision so I didn’t doubt him anymore. “I’m here if you need anything. Even if it’s just someone to talk to.”

  His eyes narrowed with fondness. “I know.”

  It finally felt the way it used to, when we were friends who would do anything for each other. The conversation flowed naturally, and I felt like I was spending time with my best friend. “When Ryker and I broke up, I didn’t really talk to anyone about it. I just tried not to think about him. And one day, I finally stopped thinking about him.”

  He nodded. “I’ll try that. But I don’t think Rochelle and I had the intense relationship the two of you had.”

  “I guess…”

  He noticed my hesitation. “Do you still think about him?”

  “No.” The answer flew from my mouth like a bullet. Ever since I had these feelings for Zeke, I hadn’t thought about anyone else. I hadn’t even checked out another guy. When I saw Ryker a few weeks ago, all I felt was pity for him. I didn’t want him to hold me or kiss me. My thighs didn’t press together in longing. He was just a man I used to love. “I saw him the other day, and I didn’t feel anything. It’s strange.”

  “When did you see him?”

  I made up a quick lie. “After work. We left the building at the same time.” It was partially true. “We talked for a little bit, and he seemed really upset about his father. He said a few things about him, but then he didn’t say anything else. But I could tell by his silence he was really struggling. I’d never seen him down like that. He’s usually making jokes and sexual innuendos around the clock. I felt bad for him…wanted to make him feel better. But that was it. Nothing more.”

  Zeke stared at me intently as he listened to every word I said, hanging on to every sentence.

  “It’s hard to believe I was ever in love with him. It’s hard to believe I’m over him. It’s just…strange.”

  “I understand what you mean.”

  “While things ended so badly, I don’t regret what we had. And I still remember our relationship with fondness despite the way he broke my heart. I’m just grateful I’m not bitter about it, that I can look at him and see a good person.”

  “Because that’s who you are, Rae. You always see the good in people.”

  My lips automatically smiled at the compliment. “Thanks…”

  “That’s what I love about you.”

  The word he used made me shiver from my head to my toes. I understood the context of the word, but I couldn’t help wishing it was used in a different way. It was painfully obvious that I was head over heels for Zeke, not just crushing on him. I wasn’t sure how it got this bad. Slowly, it got worse and worse until I realized how deep I was. “And I love everything about you.”

  ***

  “He broke up with Rochelle?” Jessie nearly knocked over her glass on the table when she threw her arms into the air. “Are you serious?”

  “He’s single?” Kayden’s hair was done in beautiful curls and she wore a dress that was almost too short. She flaunted everything she had, and every guy in the bar was staring at her. In comparison, Jessie and I looked like trolls.

  “As in, totally available?” Jessie pressed. “As in, sleeping alone tonight?”

  “Yeah.” I felt the joy in my heart that Rochelle was gone, but then the guilt came flooding back even more intensely. “He said he realized she wasn’t the right person for him. He didn’t give me more information than that, unfortunately.”

  “That’s so sudden,” Kayden said. “Maybe she did something but he’s covering for her. Like cheated on him or something.”

  “No,” Jessie said. “Zeke would tell us that.”

  “I doubt it,” Kayden argued. “He knows we would jump her.”

  “I can’t picture Rochelle doing that,” I said. “She loved him. I know she did.” After I said that, I felt bad for her. She was probably home alone and crying her eyes out, just the way I used to when Ryker dumped me.

  “True,” Jessie admitted. “I really think she did.”

  “You’re right,” Kayden said in agreement.

  “So…” Jessie smiled in that mischievous way, like she had a plan up her sleeve. “Are you gonna make a move?”

  I was horrified at the thought. “Absolutely not.”

  “What?” Jessie said in shock. “After all those dreams and pretending to go to New York, you aren’t going to ask him out? You’re joking, right?”

  I leaned toward her and deepened my tone. “He just broke up with Rochelle.”

  She leaned forward and made the same voice, mocking me. “So?”

  “He’s been single for, like, two days,” I argued. “That’s such a dick move.”

  “How so?” Jessie crossed her arms over her chest, pushing her cleavage line together. “If you asked him out when he was seeing Rochelle, then that would be bitchy. He’s fair game if you ask me.”

  “Totally fair game,” Kayden said. “I’d make a move right now.”

  “Even though he broke up with her, I doubt he’s over her,” I argued. “I need to give him some space before I go for it. Besides, this is Zeke we’re talking about here. We’re best friends. If I just asked him out, he would probably be freaked out.”

  “D
oubtful,” Jessie said. “Guys love to be hit on. Trust me.”

  “I’m not doing it.” When Ryker dumped me, I was in no shape to start dating again, let alone dating someone I knew really well.

  “Zeke is hot,” Jessie reminded me. “Like Greek god hot. Someone will snatch him up if you wait too long.”

  “That’s the chance I’m going to have to take.” Just seeing him with Rochelle made me jealous. If he started seeing other girls again, I’d be heartbroken. I just wanted the chance to tell him how I felt. If he could see something happening between us, then great. But if he were looking for something else, I’d nurse my broken heart in solitude and get over him. “I’m going to give him a month. I’ll see how he’s doing after that. And if he looks better, I’ll go for it.”

  “A month?” Jessie asked incredulously. “Thirty days? I’ve gotten over breakups quicker than that.”

  Kayden shrugged then sipped her drink.

  “He was with Rochelle for over six months.” They even said the L word to each other. This relationship was different than all the others. “Besides, I don’t want to be a rebound and have a friends-with-benefits relationship. I’d get creamed just like I did with Ryker.”

  “Creamed is definitely the right word,” Jessie said with a chuckle.

  I cringed. “That has to be the dirtiest joke I’ve ever heard you say. Dirtier than any joke I’ve heard, actually.”

  “It fit the bill,” she said with a shrug.

  “So, thirty days from now…” Kayden sipped her drink. “When those thirty days are up, we’re gonna be on your ass.”

  “Yeah, I know.” I might need a little push anyway.

  Kayden spotted a guy on the other side of the room. He was making eyes at her, so she was doing the same thing back. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna get creamed myself.”

  “Damn,” Jessie said. “That was way dirtier than the way I said it.”

  “Didn’t you just have a guy stay over last night?” Kayden mentioned it in passing when we were waiting for Jessie.

  “Yeah.” Kayden got out of the booth and placed one hand on her hip. “So?”

  “It’s just…” I didn’t want to straight up call her a slut but…she’d kinda been acting like one.

  Jessie said it in a nicer way. “It just seems like you’re dating a lot more guys than you usually do…a lot more.”

  “I’m single,” she argued. “I can do what I want.”

  “Yeah, but don’t you think you’re getting carried away?” I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but it seemed like she was throwing herself at every guy who came in her direction. Like she was in a contest neither of us knew about.

  “I’m perfectly fine, thank you very much.” She grabbed her clutch before she stormed off. “See you guys later. I’m gonna get some.” Then she walked off, rocking her heels like sandals as she approached the next guy on her list.

  Jessie watched her for a moment before she turned to me. “I’m a little worried…”

  “Me too.”

  “What do you think has gotten into her?”

  I shrugged. “I know as much as you do.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rae

  I didn’t see Zeke for a week.

  Now that he was single, I was terrified he would bring some other woman around, and I would miss my chance—for the second time. Since he was unencumbered, my sex dreams turned insanely erotic. We were doing it all over the place—my bed, the shower, even the hallway outside my apartment.

  He was making me come so often I didn’t need a man—or a vibrator.

  But now I didn’t feel guilty for having my fantasies. He wasn’t committed to Rochelle anymore, so technically, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. In the middle of the day, when Rex wasn’t home from work, I whipped out my vibrator and pictured the way Zeke looked shirtless on the basketball court.

  That sight would hold me over for weeks.

  Instead of feeling dirty for my actions, I felt more attached to him. It seemed like I was already in a strange and twisted relationship with him even though he wasn’t aware of it. I knew I sounded like a crazy nutcase, but when it came to Zeke, I was okay with being a little crazy.

  On Friday after work, he texted me. Want to play some ball?

  I nearly fell off my bed when I saw that message. Instead of playing it cool, I immediately texted him back. Sure. When?

  Twenty minutes.

  I’ll meet you there.

  K.

  My heart accelerated with a spike of adrenaline. The nerves burned in my gut, and the anxiety reminded me how I felt anytime I went on a first date. It wasn’t a date at all, just two friends playing basketball.

  But to me, it was so much more.

  I hoped he’d take off his shirt.

  The weather was nice—clear and sunny.

  My odds were good.

  ***

  I took Safari with me because I knew he was eager to get outside. My apartment wasn’t the best place for him. One day, I would get a house, and he would run around the backyard, pooping on the grass and claiming it as his own.

  When I reached the court, Zeke was already there practicing his shots.

  And he was shirtless.

  This day just got so damn good.

  He made the shot then grabbed the ball before it rolled away. He flashed me his perfect smile, nothing but straight teeth in a ridiculously handsome face, and then tucked the ball into his side. “Hey. It’s my favorite person in the world.”

  “I’m your favorite person?” Now I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

  “I was talking about Safari.” When he chuckled, even that sounded sexy. “But you come in a close second.” He winked.

  And that wink made me melt.

  Seriously, how did I not notice him before?

  He was sexy. Like, obviously sexy. He was sweet and charming. He was smart and compassionate. And his body…wow. Everything about him was just perfect. Why did I date all those losers when I could have just dated Zeke instead?

  Biggest mistake.

  I recovered from the warmth that flooded my cheeks. “At least I made the list.”

  “You’re always on the list, Rae.” He kneeled and gave Safari a good rub-down, scratching him behind the ears then running his hands down his back. “How’s my man?”

  Safari panted with sleepy eyes, enjoying the massage he was getting.

  “He needed some fresh air. Thought he could ref the game.”

  “That’s not fair,” Zeke said. “He’ll be totally biased.”

  “Against you?”

  “Actually, against you.” Zeke rose to his full height, his body glistening with sweat from the mini workout he just completed on the court. That smile was back, the corner of his lips rising in a mischievous way.

  “You’re cocky today.” Without thinking, I dug my hands into his side and tickled him.

  He laughed from deep in his throat and stepped back, protecting his physique from my prying fingers. “I’m always cocky.”

  My fingers could barely tickle him because I felt like I was touching steel. “We’ll see just how cocky you are after I kick your ass.”

  “I distinctly remember you getting your ass handed to you a few weeks ago.”

  “Well, that was because—” I shut my mouth before I said something stupid. “I was a little sick.”

  “Whatever you say…”

  We started the game and both put in our best effort. Zeke was fast, having the momentum from his speed and size, and when he zoomed past me, there wasn’t much I could do to stop him. He scored on me then handed the ball over. “Not a good start.”

  “Shut up and let’s play.”

  He grinned. “You’ve never liked losing.”

  I dribbled the ball past him and sprinted to the opposite hoop. Zeke was on me instantly, his perfect body covering all my open shots. He threw his arms in the air before I could throw the ball. His chest was like the wall to a building—ther
e was no way through.

  But I didn’t really want to get around it. I wanted to go through it, feel my nails drag down his chest and his stomach. I wanted to touch those ripped arms as they pumped with blood. I didn’t even want to play basketball. I wanted to push him to his back and ride him right then and there.

  His body distracted me, and before I knew it, he stole the ball from me. “No!”

  Zeke sprinted to the opposite side and made the shot. “Looks like you just got scored on—again.”

  I wish that were also true outside the game. “You got lucky.”

  “Being a better ballplayer isn’t luck. It’s fact.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “Hand me the ball, and we’ll see who the better player is.”

  ***

  Zeke beat me—fair and square.

  But in my defense, it was hard to concentrate when he was shirtless and sexy. No wonder why all the players in the NBA wore shirts. It would be too damn distracting for everyone involved.

  Like the gentleman he was, Zeke didn’t gloat. “You wanna get some food at Mega Shake?”

  “I could use a greasy burger and even greasier fries…”

  He grabbed his shirt from the ground and started to pull it on.

  “No!”

  He stopped just before he pulled it over his head. He gave me a blank stare, unsure what my outburst meant.

  Shit, I said that out loud? “Thought there was a spider…”

  He pulled it on the rest of the way, hiding his perfect chest and ripped stomach.

  I sighed like I’d never be happy again.

  Zeke whistled. “Come on, boy. Let’s get some food.”

  Safari immediately jumped up and came to his side.

  Together, we walked a few blocks before we entered the restaurant. Safari sat outside with his leash tied to a pole. He was in a shady spot near the door, and customers patted him on the head as they came and went.

  We washed our hands, ordered, and then took a seat with our trays of food.

  I reminded myself he couldn’t eat shirtless inside the restaurant, so that ending was unlikely. But if he were spending the night in my room, he would’ve been shirtless all the time… That was a nice thought.

  “What are you smiling about?”