by E. L. Todd
“Good. I’m considering hiring another dermatologist and expanding the business a little.”
“Oh, that’s cool. Maybe open another office too?”
“No, I’m not that ambitious. I actually wanted to split the load with someone so I could have more time off. Right now, I’m so swamped that I can’t take a vacation. I can’t even remember the last time I took a day off besides the weekends.”
“True. Don’t overwork yourself.”
“Yeah, that’s why I think I’m going to hire someone. We’ll have to take on more clients, but that shouldn’t be a problem. We have people booked nine months out right now.”
“That’s crazy.”
“I know. People shouldn’t wait that long to be seen.”
“Why don’t they just go somewhere else?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It might be an insurance issue.”
I’d never understood insurance and I never would.
“I take all kinds of insurance, even the ones that don’t pay much. That probably has something to do with it.”
I think I just fell a little harder for him. “That’s sweet of you…”
“The way I see it is, I grew up with food, shelter, and health insurance. And now I have a great job that provides all the things I need. Some people don’t have that kind of luxury. It’s not their fault. Sometimes, they just got dealt a bad hand. So the least I can do is help people who can’t help themselves. I mean, I’m a doctor. That’s the definition of my occupation.”
I wanted to jump his bones right then and there. He was so humble and so compassionate. I never met a man who cared so much for people less fortunate. He was so swoon-worthy, and I was definitely being swooned. “We’re lucky to have you, Dr. Collins.”
He smiled before he took a bite of his pizza. “Well, thanks.”
I wanted to reach across the table and hug him, but I knew nothing good would come of that. He would feel the hardness of my tits. And when I straddled his hips, that would be a dead giveaway of what I really wanted.
“Anything new at the lab?” His question cooled the heat between my legs.
“I’m working on a few things. Biodegradable products for consumers. Finding the right expiration time is the most difficult part. Can’t seem to get that right.”
“I can’t even imagine how complicated that is.”
“And I can’t imagine how complicated medical school is.”
“It’s not that bad, actually. You could do it. A monkey could do it.”
“Okay, I could probably do it,” I said. “But a monkey?”
“Yeah.” He said it with a straight face. “It’s like playing detective. Someone has a problem and you solve it. There are different tools you use to figure it out. Once you have that data, you make a decision on how to fix the problem. It’s straightforward.”
In my eyes, he was definitely downplaying it. But for someone so intelligent, it wasn’t surprising that he considered the challenge easy. “Do you have plans tonight?”
“No. Just playing video games.”
“You must have beaten that racing one by now.”
He shrugged. “You can’t really beat it. That’s just for fun. But I did finish the first shooter game. Pretty cool. Do you have plans tonight?”
“Sorta.” I’d been concerned about Kayden for a while, and it was time for me to seriously confront her. “I’m worried about Kayden.”
“Because?”
“She’s been sleeping around a lot, and I’m just concerned.”
Zeke’s expression didn’t change. “I don’t see what the problem is. She’s single and can do whatever she wants.”
“But it’s just not like her to do that sort of thing.”
He shrugged. “I feel like if she were a man, no one would raise an eyebrow. But since she’s a woman, there must be something wrong.”
I loved Zeke for being a feminist. He was always a gentleman and treated women right, but he also saw them as equals. That might be the sexiest thing of all about him. “That’s not what I’m implying at all.”
“Then is there something you aren’t telling me?”
“No…but her sudden change in behavior started after she was done being sick. It was just night and day, such a sudden shift that Jessie and I could hardly believe it. I wonder if there’s something she’s not telling me.”
“I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask.”
“I mean, if she’s really fine and is just changing her lifestyle, good for her. But I’ve known her my whole life, and I just feel like something is wrong.”
Zeke nodded. “You know her better than anyone, so your hunch is probably right.”
“After work, I’m going to confront her. I just hope she takes it well. Last time I said something, she got a little defensive.”
“That’s a natural reaction,” he said. “You know, when someone questions your behavior.”
“Yeah…” I moved on to my third slice until I was stuffed. I couldn’t eat another bite if someone paid me.
Zeke watched me from across the table, his beautiful blue eyes brilliant and seductive. I loved it when he stared at me because I got to stare back. I saw the wisdom and the sexiness in his expression. With his hard jaw and soft lips, he looked like a fantasy. He was single and totally available, but I couldn’t do a damn thing to make him mine. I had to wait a little longer out of respect for our friendship.
But who knew being a good friend could be so damn hard.
***
Kayden opened the door, her hair and makeup done like she was about to go out.
Even though it was Monday.
Who went out on a Monday night? I was usually parked in front of my TV with sweats and a beanie, hating the fact I had to get through the rest of the week before the weekend arrived again.
“Oh, hey. What’s up?” She invited me inside, her feet bare because her heels were the only thing missing from her outfit. “What’s up? Anything happen with Zeke yet?”
“No. But my thirty days aren’t up yet.”
“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “The thirty-day rule is stupid and you know it.”
I sat on the couch. “Going out?”
“Yeah, you wanna come?” A glass of wine was sitting on the table, next to a full bottle.
“No. Actually, I was hoping we could talk.”
Kayden detected my tone immediately. She looked at me with suspicion, knowing something bad was coming. “Talk about what?”
She was going to hate me for saying this—I knew it. “With all the guys you’ve been seeing and how much you go out…I’m still a little worried. I feel like there’s something else going on but you aren’t telling me what it is.”
She laughed it off. “You’re reading way too much into it, Rae. I’m not a science experiment to analyze.”
“I’m not analyzing you. But I’ve known you since we were five. You’ve been exactly the same person since that time. And all of a sudden…you just changed. I’m just concerned something more serious is going on.”
“I haven’t changed,” she argued. “I just got some confidence, and I like to go out. That’s all.”
Since she was defensive, I knew she was hiding something. But it was a mystery why she kept it a secret. “I don’t care about you going out and having a good time. I’m more concerned about all the men you’ve been sleeping with.”
“You’re one to talk,” she scoffed. “You’ve picked up tons of guys from bars.”
“I know I have.” I wasn’t ashamed of it. “But it wasn’t a different guy every night. Before Ryker came into the picture, I slept with five guys in one year. That’s reasonable. But what you’re doing…is concerning.”
“You’re calling me a slut?” she hissed.
“No. I never said that word.”
“It’s pretty clear you’re implying it.”
I lowered my tone so she would remain calm. “Listen to me. If you’re doing this because you want to do it, that
’s fine. I won’t say another word about it. But if you’re doing this because something happened to you, something bad, then I think we should talk about it. That’s all. So, Kayden, has anything happened in the past month?”
She stared me down, and slowly, her anger started to fade away. Her eyebrows began to soften and the look in her eyes was no longer fierce. She morphed back into the woman I knew, my friend.
I hit a nerve.
Kayden remained quiet. Her eyes drifted down to her untouched wine glass.
“Kayden, you know you can tell me anything. You’ve always been there for me. Let me be there for you.”
She interlocked her fingers and sighed. “You’re going to be mad…”
“Why would I be mad?”
“Because I did something that kind of breaks the girl code.”
I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. “I promise I won’t be mad.”
“You can’t make a promise like that.”
“Honestly, I couldn’t care less about what you did. Right now, all I care about is you. There’s nothing you could say to make me turn on you. Even if you slept with Ryker, while it would hurt, I wouldn’t be mad because that doesn’t matter right now. Only you matter.”
Her eyes softened with sadness. “Rae, I would never do that.”
My heart relaxed in relief. I was over Ryker, but if one of my friends slept with him, I would be devastated. “I know. But anything you actually did do would pale in comparison to that. So just tell me.”
“Alright…”
I stared her down as I anxiously waited.
“This is hard to talk about…so I’m just going to come out and say it.”
“Okay.”
“I’ve been in love with Rex for years now.”
I heard what she said, but I couldn’t process it. Her confession was huge—enormous. I didn’t even suspect she had a thing for my brother. Not once had it crossed my mind. Since she was staring at me, I knew I needed to say something. “Oh…”
“I kept hoping he would notice me the way I noticed him. But of course, he only saw me as a friend. So I did something really stupid and…I asked him to teach me some moves in the bedroom. I thought if we fooled around long enough, he would want to be with me.” She lowered her gaze and stared at her hands, not wanting to look me in the eye. “But then he broke up with me a month ago. Didn’t say why. He just said our arrangement was over. And…it hurt so much.” She closed her eyes, and tears immediately began to leak out.
The shock of what happened between her and Rex passed in light of her pain. I went to her side on the couch and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me so I could comfort my best friend in the world. “Kayden…”
She rested her head on my shoulder. “I know I shouldn’t be crying. I know I should have seen what was coming. But…I really love him, Rae.”
I rubbed her back, feeling heartbroken for her. “I know you do, Kay.” I didn’t need to question her feelings to know it was true. Seeing her break down in front of me like this, hitting rock bottom, was proof enough. I didn’t have time to feel the confusion of everything she just said. A part of me was surprised I hadn’t figured it out on my own since she’d felt this way for so long. Jessie didn’t have a clue either.
“I’m sorry I slept with Rex. I know he’s your brother and everything…”
“Don’t worry about it.” I continued to rub her back, not feeling any resentment toward her whatsoever. She didn’t just mess with my brother’s feelings. She was the one who loved him, and he didn’t feel the same way. “Did he know you felt this way?”
“I don’t think so,” she whispered. “I guess I did a good job of hiding it.”
“So, when you were sick…?”
“I was just depressed.”
“Oh, sweetie…” I rubbed her shoulder.
“I’ve been going out a lot lately to make myself feel better…to forget about him. I don’t want him to know how much he hurt me because he wouldn’t care anyway. And I was hoping I could get over him if I met enough guys. But nothing seems to work…”
“I know how hard it is. Believe me, Kay. I do.” Getting over Ryker was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do. He was the love of my life, the man I pictured myself spending the rest of my life with. When I pictured my husband’s face, it was Ryker. But when I told him I loved him, he broke my heart. He threw me aside like trash and moved on with his life, leaving me in the dust. Those three months were unbearable.
“I know you do, Rae. I’m just sorry that you do understand.”
I lowered my hand from her back. “I know you’re in pain, but I don’t think sleeping around is going to make you feel better, Kayden. I think you need to confront these feelings head on, as painful as it is, and slowly move on.”
She sniffed then wiped her eyes. “I know…”
“And when you feel better, you’ll find someone really special and fall in love. Rex will miss the greatest thing that ever happened to him, and you’ll be happy with someone who actually deserves you.”
She nodded. “I hope you’re psychic, Rae.”
“I don’t need to be psychic to know that’s going to happen. You deserve the best. And one day, you’ll get it.”
She finally stopped crying, her eyes becoming dry. She sat up and looked at me, the plea in her gaze. “Don’t say anything to Rex, okay?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Rae,” she pressed.
“I think you should tell him how you feel. I promise, he has no clue that you feel this way.”
“How do you know?”
“Believe me, I just do. Rex is dull when it comes to stuff like this. He’s a smart guy, but when it comes to reading people’s emotions and attitudes, he’s totally blind. He believed whatever you told him, and as far as he’s concerned, you couldn’t care less about him.”
“I don’t know…”
“If you want a chance to be with him, I think you should tell him. You’ll never know until you try.”
She shook her head. “I want him to want me on his own. I want him to chase me and try to win me over. I don’t want to be just some girl he fools around with. I want him to love me the way I love him. And if I have to tell him how I feel to make that happen…then it’s not real.”
“I understand that…but Rex doesn’t know any of that.”
“And I don’t want to come out and say it. I know he doesn’t feel the same way and things will just be awkward. At least we can be friends now. That’s never been an issue, thankfully.”
Seeing my friend in pain hurt my heart. I wanted to fix it, but I didn’t know how.
“So let’s just keep this between us, okay?”
“Alright.” I agreed with her just for the sake of it. While I understood where she was coming from, I didn’t think she was going about it in the right way. If Rex thought they were only fooling around, that’s all he would ever feel. You needed to be direct with him if you wanted any kind of response.
“Thank you. And again, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, Kayden. I’m just glad you finally let me in. I want to help you get better, and now I can finally do that.”
She smiled for the first time. “Thanks, Rae. You’re such a good friend.”
“Best friend,” I corrected. “And you don’t need to thank me.”
Chapter Sixteen
Rae
I couldn’t look at Rex the same way.
I walked into the apartment after staying at Kayden’s place for a few hours. Instead of going out, we watched a few movies on the couch. She put on her pajamas and returned to her normal self, a homebody who preferred the company of close friends rather than handsome strangers.
Rex was sitting on the couch watching a basketball game. A collection of beer bottles sat on the table before him. Like a slug, he sat there and hardly moved.
I couldn’t believe he fooled around with my best friend for so long—and hid it so well.
I walked into the living room and crossed my arms over my chest.
Rex glanced at me. “What’s your problem?” His eyes turned back to the TV, and that’s when I noticed just how down he was. When he came home the other night, he was in a terrible mood. And that mood hadn’t gone away since.
“I should ask you the same thing.”
“Just tired. What’s your excuse?”
Sick of your bullshit, that’s what. “You’ve been weird since the other day. Something up?”
“No.” He took a long drink of his beer and continued to ignore me.
There was no point in feeling him out. He wouldn’t tell me a damn thing. “Good night, then.”
“Where were you?”
“Kayden’s.” I was just about to turn away when I decided to stay put.
His movements were slight, but he changed the tension in his shoulders and shifted his weight on the couch. And the biggest clue of all, he looked at me. “What did you guys do? Did you go out? Did she pick up another guy?”
A lot of questions from someone who wasn’t supposed to care. “No. We stayed at her place and watched TV. Why?”
His mood picked up slightly. His eyes dilated like he heard something he liked. He turned back to the TV and took another drink of his beer. “Just asking to be polite.”
“But you’re never polite.”
“Then I was just asking.”
“Or are you actually curious?” I pressed.
“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug.
Now that I looked back on our past conversations, he did show particular interest whenever Kayden was involved. He always asked if she was coming to events, and when I mentioned she was sleeping around, he marched off to bed. Maybe there was more to this story than Kayden and I both realized.
Maybe.
***
I left the building and started the walk back to my place. I pulled out my phone and called Zeke. I wasn’t just reaching out to him for an excuse to talk to him. He was one of my best friends, and I needed to tell someone about this huge piece of news.
He answered immediately. “Long time, no see.”