The Slam

by Haleigh Lovell

  Vivian knew this was our routine, so it took me by surprise when she grew quiet for a long moment.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “I worry about you… both of you,” she said, all humor gone from her voice. I guess she could only keep up the facade for so long. “This woman I work with down at the rescue shelter, I hadn’t seen her for days.” There was a small break in her voice. “Yesterday, I found out her husband was killed in Fallujah.”

  “I’m sorry, Viv.”

  “I…I…” She pulled in a breath, the sound uneven and shaky. “I just don’t want anything to happen to you and Julian.”

  “Hey,” I said gently. “Nothing’s gonna happen to Julian. I’ll make sure of that. And nothing’s gonna happen to me.” After a pause, I asked, “You remember that medallion you gave me?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “It’s kept me safe all this while, and it will keep me safe until I come home. And I’ll be home soon.” Thankfully, my term in Iraq was coming to an end in just a few months.

  But as much as I tried to reassure Vivian I would be fine, I knew she wouldn’t stop worrying. And it weighed on me… all that I was putting her through in choosing a military life. I knew she was a strong woman. Fiercely independent. But I feared what my deployment was doing to her.

  We continued talking for hours, exchanging tidbits of this and that, tacitly avoiding any mention of my missions. When we’d burned up all the minutes on our cell phones, it was finally time to say good-bye.

  Before I hung up, I said softly, “I trust you, Viv.”

  The thin mattress creaked as I turned on my side and slid the phone across my desk. Sharp metal springs dug into my ribcage, but with Vivian still fully on my mind, I barely registered the stab.

  Trust. I trusted Vivian. That was the truth. Call me crazy, but to me, trust was so much greater than love.

  Everyone says I love you.

  I love you, babe. I love you, bro. I love you, man.

  It was used so loosely, like telling someone to have a nice day.

  I loved my cousins. I loved my nephews. Hell, I even loved my barber, but did I trust him? Not really.

  As I stared at the rusted steel walls of my CHU, I was reminded of that saying: Love all. Trust a few. Do wrong to none.

  Well, I loved a few and I trusted only one—I trusted Vivian.

  I trusted her with my heart.

  My Forward Operating Base was barren and brown. Built on exposed dirt, it had been scraped out of the Iraqi landscape shortly after the US invasion. The structures, the rusted CHU (Containerized Housing Unit) trailers, the Bradley tanks, the Humvees, every single military vehicle, and everything on this base was brown. Desert brown.

  I swore never to wear brown when I returned home.

  On the base, I lived in a rusted CHU with another lieutenant, Brian Merrick.

  Merrick, a fellow San Diegan, was the youngest of seven children from a blended military family. He was an extrovert with lots of energy and a rock-solid commitment to the Corps. On the field, Merrick was an exemplary intel officer. But one-on-one and behind the closed doors of our rusted CHU, his mind was perpetually in the gutter.

  The prevailing ethos was: Do what makes others comfortable.

  For Merrick, comfortable was underpants and his Gibson guitar.

  “Why so glum, Sykes? You look like a lovesick puppy,” he taunted. “Miss your woman?”

  I sighed. Merrick was right. I probably did look like a lovesick fool. Vivian was constantly on my mind. She was the face I put to memory to keep me company.

  And I missed everything about her.

  I missed those tiny freckles on her face that made up their own personal constellations. When I closed my eyes, I tried to imagine kissing every freckle on her face and every single freckle on her entire body… my weight pressing down on her, my hardness pushing into her.

  “You miss doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel?” Merrick began gyrating against his bed with his guitar between his legs. “Unghh,” he grunted like a wild boar as he rocked back and forth. “Ungghh,” he grunted even louder.

  “You need to get laid.” I shook my head. “Go home to your wife!”

  “Don’t need to,” he quipped. “We sext and Skype sex all the time.”

  When I remained silent, Merrick set aside his guitar and turned to face me. “What? You’ve never sexted before?”

  I shrugged. “Not really.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’d rather talk dirty to Viv in her ear when we’re alone, or watch her smile as I whisper to her in public.”

  “Humph,” Merrick huffed and made a great show of looking around the spartan interior of our trailer. “Is your girlfriend here? I guess not. So I guess you’ll have to make do with sexting.”

  “Sure,” I said, striving for a bored tone.

  Merrick grabbed a balled-up sock and hurled it at me. “C’mon, man. Don’t be such a pussy.”

  I caught it with my left hand and tossed it back at him. “You’re the pussy.”

  A smug smile crept across his face. “I am what I eat.”

  I don’t know why I even tried. That ass fuck could turn every retort into a compliment.

  “Go on.” He urged. “Text her something dirty. Tell her you wanna penetrate her with you light saber. Tell her you wanna eat her out until she surrenders to the empire. Tell her you wanna take her in the back of your Millennium Falcon and show her what it feels like to go light speed.”

  I gave a tired laugh. “Do you ever sext your wife without referencing Star Wars?”

  “Fuck, yeah. You wanna hear more?”

  With perfect disinterest, I said, “Nope. No thanks.”

  Merrick continued anyway. “Now listen up.” He took a few paces about the room. “Tell her to put her phone on vibrate against her pussy, and then tell her you’ll be calling her in three.”

  I scratched my chin. “You’re not very original, are you?”

  Merrick took the bait. “I’ll show you original.” He grabbed his phone off the desk and began scrolling through his texts. “Ah, this one is a classic. Eating an Arby’s sandwich. Wish I was eating… your vagina.”

  “No.” I gave a rough bark of laughter. “Just—no.”

  Merrick received my dig with surprising ambivalence. “All right, all right. Check this one out. I unzip my jeans, and with a loud thud, my anaconda-like dick hits the ground, causing an earthquake so massive it tips the Richter scale.”

  I winced. “Are you trying to turn her on or are you trying to make her laugh?”

  “Wait!” he added, scrolling frantically through his phone. “I got this. Check this one out. It’s one of my better ones.” I peered over his shoulder to get a good look at the text, but he was already reading it out loud. “I’m gonna pound you so hard your head slams through the headboard. Your face will be so busted you can only drink smoothies through a straw.”

  “Um…” I stared at him, impassive. “That just went from a sext to a possible murder attempt.”

  Merrick gave a careless shrug. “My wife was turned on. Her panties were drenched. I’m telling you! Drenched.”

  Though I had a hard time believing him, I let it drop when something else on his phone caught my eye. “What the hell is that?”

  “What?” Merrick asked. “What?”

  “That,” I said, pointing at his phone. The text simply said: AUUUURRRRRGGGHH.

  “Oh,” he muttered. “That was me when I blew my load.”

  A beat passed. And then another. “You actually typed out your orgasm?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That is fucked.” I shook my head. “You’re not supposed to type out your orgasm.”

  “Says who?” Merrick retorted.

  “You’re just not supposed to.” I ran a hand through my hair. “You know what? You suck at sexting.”

  Merrick laughed good-naturedly and flopped down on his bed. Almost instinctively, he reached for his guitar and
began strumming a haunting melody. I had to give Merrick credit; he was an amazing talent and could play everything from flamenco-inspired tunes to Hendrix-esque rock.

  All in all, I’d say we made pretty decent roommates. If I could describe our friendship in two words, it would be relaxed and chill.

  And our rusted trailer, like all the others, had become a kind of home away from home.

  As the colorful scales, shapely chords, and sweet melodies fell quickly and easily under Merrick’s fingers, my thoughts drifted back to Vivian. Then I picked up my phone and texted her.

  What are you doing?

  Seconds later, my phone beeped.

  Just got out of the shower. Getting ready to go to class. What are you doing?

  I texted back: Thinking of you.

  My phone beeped again.

  Me too. I was thinking of you when I was in the shower.

  Smiling, I texted: Are you still naked?

  My phone beeped.

  No

  A guy could only hope. I texted: What are you wearing?

  My smile widened when I read her reply.

  What would you like me to wear?

  I closed my eyes briefly. Then my fingers worked in tandem.

  Nothing is more beautiful to me than you wearing only the sunlight and my kisses.

  It must have been a full two minutes before my phone beeped again.

  Sorry, babes. Running late. Gotta go now. Text you later?

  I texted back: K. Make it dirty.

  **End of excerpt. To purchase a copy of Liam’s List, please visit Amazon US or Amazon UK or any of the Amazon online stores.