A White Knight in ER

by Jessica Matthews

  It hadn’t struck him what a huge mistake he’d made until he’d taken her home at midnight. Megan wasn’t one of his usual women who understood and accepted a short-lived relationship. She might say that she was agreeable to his here-today-gone-tomorrow approach to life, but he knew that deep down she wasn’t.

  She was a woman with responsibilities, a woman who wanted family ties to form a wholesome environment for Trevor and Angie. And for a short time in that room, he’d discovered a part of himself that wanted to drop on his knees and beg her to let him share her life for the next fifty or so years.

  Sadly, he couldn’t do it. He’d grown so used to packing up and starting over that he couldn’t imagine being rooted in one place, with one person. Living without attachments was as much a part of him as his eyes.

  Megan, on the other hand, needed permanence. She needed family, a spouse to help her raise the little ones, and Jonas didn’t have the foggiest idea of how to be a husband, much less a parent.

  Now, when he should be replaying every instant of the best night of his entire life, he was sitting on his patio deckchair, gazing into the star-studded sky and talking to his dog.

  ‘I’m in trouble, Penny,’ he said as he massaged her head. ‘Megan and the kids need more than I can give them.’

  Penny yawned.

  ‘It’s my own fault. I took one look at Megan and threw all my rules out the window. If I’d followed them, like I usually do, I wouldn’t be in this fix.’

  Penny sighed.

  ‘I should walk away, but I can’t. I know I’m being selfish, but I like the way they make me feel and I want to enjoy it for as long as I can. Is it wrong to pretend to be a part of them for two more months?’

  Penny put her head on her paws and stared at him. He rubbed the scruff of her neck.

  ‘Too bad you can’t answer me,’ he said. ‘I could use some advice. Megan was right. You are a good listener. I just wish I knew what to do with you.’

  One thing was for certain. Leaving Stanton wouldn’t be easy because this time he would leave a portion of himself behind.

  ‘I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with Dr Taylor,’ Bonnie said a week later.

  Wary, Megan studied her colleague for traces of rancor, but to her relief didn’t find any. ‘We’ve been together, yes.’

  ‘You know that I don’t care who dates who. I mean, I was a little jealous of you at first but, then, who wouldn’t be? Handsome dudes with great personalities don’t fall in our laps too often, if you know what I mean.’

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘Anyway, I’m not trying to warn you off him, but save yourself some heartache. He’s not going to stick around.’

  The other woman’s concern touched Megan. She wouldn’t have expected Bonnie to be worried about her. ‘I know.’

  ‘You do?’

  Clearly she hadn’t given the answer that Bonnie had anticipated. ‘As much as I’d wish it were otherwise, I’m well aware that Jonas is only passing through town.’

  Bonnie nodded as she studied her closely. ‘I must say, you’ve surprised me.’

  Megan grinned. ‘Really? Join the club. Sometimes I surprise myself.’

  ‘I’m serious. Here you were—engaged to Dr Fleming, with two kids—ready to step into a role that suits you perfectly, and now look at you.’

  ‘Things change. We have to go with the flow.’

  ‘Don’t I know it. I just never would have dreamed that you’d “flow” in the direction of Dr Taylor.’ She grew thoughtful. ‘Although I suppose if I’d been in your shoes, a guy like Dr Taylor would be a good prescription to get me back in the dating game.’

  If that was how people looked at her relationship with Jonas, then she wouldn’t contradict them. However, Megan knew that no one would ever measure up to Jonas Taylor.

  ‘Have you planned anything for the weekend?’ Bonnie asked.

  ‘We’re taking the kids to the zoo. We were going to go last Saturday, but when it rained, we postponed.’

  ‘Have a good time. I once dated a guy who worked at the zoo. He was a real tiger, if you know what I mean.’ She winked.

  ‘You are being careful, aren’t you?’ Megan asked, deciding to pass along a few warnings of her own. ‘Safe sex and all that.’

  Bonnie patted her arm. ‘Don’t worry about me,’ she said cheerfully. ‘I’m as protected as the gold at Fort Knox.’

  Megan hoped so.

  The ambulance bay doors whooshed open and Gene approached them at a run.

  ‘What’s up?’ Megan asked as she accompanied him to the door.

  ‘Violet Spears. Apparently she was involved in a hit-and-run.’

  ‘After all that hard work we did on her, she ends up back here.’ Megan grabbed a yellow protective gown from a cart near the door and slipped it over her clothes. ‘The irony of it all.’

  Jonas joined them. ‘Yeah, but this time we won’t have to sneak around to treat her.’

  Two paramedics burst in with the gurney between them. Violet’s frail body was fixed to a backboard and trails of blood ran down the left side of her face. Mud caked her entire body.

  Immediately they rattled off her vital signs and listed her injuries as the group wheeled her into the nearest trauma room.

  ‘Shattered femur from where the car struck her,’ the one reported. ‘Dislocated shoulder, with head and neck trauma from hitting the ground after she flew off her bicycle.’

  ‘Where did she land?’ Jonas asked. ‘Pavement, concrete, what?’

  ‘Actually, she sailed into some guy’s yard, and he’d just watered his lawn so the ground was pretty spongy.’

  ‘Let’s hope it was soft enough.’

  Brain injuries were tough to deal with. Their small facility simply wasn’t equipped to handle such serious cases.

  While Megan and Bonnie hurried to hook her up to their monitors so the paramedics could take theirs with them, Jonas fired orders for another IV, blood work, CT scans and drugs that would keep her from having seizures.

  ‘Did she ever regain consciousness?’ he asked.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Shall I notify Life Flight?’ Megan asked.

  Jonas nodded.

  An hour later, the diagnosis was evident. Violet Spears had suffered a subdural hematoma, and thirty minutes after that she was on her way to a neurosurgery unit.

  ‘What a shame,’ Megan said to Jonas once all the hubbub had died down. ‘She seemed like a sweet lady for all of her eccentricities.’

  ‘She was.’

  He seemed maudlin. ‘Don’t you think she’s going to make it?’ she asked.

  ‘Who knows? She’s a tough old bird so if anyone can pull through, she can. Sometimes, though, I wonder…’

  He didn’t finish his sentence and Megan wanted to hear what weighed on his mind. ‘You wonder what?’

  ‘I wonder if we should have let her go.’ He glanced at her. ‘She had no family, no friends to speak of. She is a lonely old lady who lost her husband in the Vietnam War and didn’t have any children.’

  ‘People would help her if she’d let them.’

  ‘Maybe. Violet was—is—a proud woman. She doesn’t like charity. She told me once that she was ready to go.’

  ‘If she hadn’t come in for treatment of her cellulitis, she may well have. If that’s how she felt, I wonder why she bothered coming back twice a day for more than a week?’

  The answer hit her. ‘She came because of you, didn’t she?’

  His mouth twitched into a slight grin. ‘I think so. She said I was the only one who cared enough to give her choices. Everyone else wanted to shuffle her off to someone else. It didn’t hurt that I let her talk about her husband and her hobbies. Did you know that at one time she was a florist?’

  ‘No, I didn’t. It’s no wonder it always took you so long with her,’ she exclaimed. ‘And here I thought you were just slow.’

  ‘Slow!’ he cried in mock horror. ‘I’ll have you know I won first prize
in our who-can-bandage-the-fastest contest in med school.’

  ‘You had a contest?’

  ‘It was all part of our annual end-of-year party. I can’t remember all the categories, but we had competitions for making the tightest bed corners, reassembling the anatomy professor’s skeleton and gurney races. I held the record for taking the most first prizes in making the bed, too.’

  She giggled. ‘Making it, or messing it up?’

  He wiggled his eyebrows. ‘One was judged, the other wasn’t. By the way, have you told Angie about tomorrow?’

  ‘Not yet,’ she admitted. ‘If she knew we planned to go to the zoo, she wouldn’t have given me a minute’s peace. I’ll tell her this evening.’

  As Megan had predicted, Angie was so excited about their trip it was difficult for her to go to sleep. Megan wasn’t sure if it was the excursion itself or the fact that Jonas would be accompanying them. Regardless of her reasons, Angie was thrilled and Megan mentioned it to her mother when she called at ten o’clock.

  ‘You can’t blame her for being over the moon,’ Nancy said. ‘Angie hasn’t had this much male attention since her father died. Dwight didn’t step into his role and although your father would give anything to be healthy enough so that he could, he can’t. It isn’t any wonder that Angie likes Jonas.’

  ‘I know, Mom, but how will they survive when Jonas leaves?’

  ‘Are you certain he will?’

  ‘Absolutely. He mentioned it the other night.’ She’d hoped that he would see what he was missing with each evening he spent in their company, but he obviously hadn’t.

  ‘Have you told him how you feel?’

  She thought of their special night a week ago. They hadn’t done a lot of talking. ‘Not in so many words.’

  ‘Maybe you should.’

  Megan wasn’t sure. Announcing that she loved him could backfire far more easily than it would help her cause. Then again, what did she have to lose? Either way, he’d be gone. At least he’d know exactly what he was walking away from.

  But maybe she didn’t want him to know. Her experience with Dwight hadn’t boosted her ego to the level of being able to weather another rejection.

  ‘As for the children,’ Nancy continued, ‘Trevor won’t remember, but if Angie doesn’t hold false expectations, then she’ll cope, just as you will.’

  Megan hoped her mother was right.

  ‘What’s first, the birds or the monkeys?’ Jonas asked Angie as they approached the zoo entrance.

  ‘The monkeys,’ Angie exclaimed, clutching her hat on her head with one hand while she adjusted her blue plastic sunglasses with the other.

  ‘The monkey section it is,’ Jonas said as he pushed Trevor’s stroller through the open wrought-iron gates.

  Too excited to walk beside them, Angie ran ahead. ‘Stay where we can see you,’ he cautioned.

  ‘OK.’

  Jonas leaned closer to Megan. ‘I’m surprised she didn’t wear her wings.’

  ‘I am, too, but I’ve noticed that lately she hasn’t been wearing them as often. They were her security blanket in some respects, and I think she’s finally adjusting to the changes in her life.’

  ‘I’m glad.’

  The bird exhibit was next and because it was one where the visitors could walk through the animals’ natural habitat and see them close up, Angie held onto Megan’s hand while Jonas carried Trevor.

  They walked for what Jonas thought was equivalent to thirty-six holes of golf, but he didn’t mind. It was a treat, seeing everything through Angie’s innocent eyes.

  By lunchtime, Trevor had grown fussy in spite of Megan’s efforts. Unhappy about sitting in his stroller, he threw his baseball cap onto the ground time after time until Megan grew tired of his game.

  ‘He’s working on a new tooth,’ she declared as she pulled a plastic teething ring filled with gel from the small insulated carrier she’d hung on one of the stroller handles. ‘I’ll be glad when it finally breaks through.’

  She tried to hold him, but he refused to go to her. Instead, he arched his back and reached out to Jonas, in whose arms he’d been the happiest.

  ‘Jonas is tired of carrying you,’ she told the toddler. ‘It’s my turn.’

  ‘I don’t mind,’ Jonas protested over Trevor’s shrill voice.

  ‘I do,’ she said firmly. ‘I didn’t bring you along as a pack horse.’

  Trevor wailed and, with a huge tear brimming in each eye, held out his arms toward Jonas. ‘Dada,’ he said plainly.

  Jonas froze, his smile still in place. Angie squealed with delight. ‘He talked.’ She reached out and tickled his chin. ‘You said a word. Good boy.’

  ‘Oh, Jonas. Did you hear that? He finally said something we can understand.’

  He’d heard all right. Loud and clear.

  Dada. Daddy.

  He didn’t know why he felt as if he’d taken a blow to his midsection, but he did.

  ‘Dada,’ Trevor insisted.

  ‘Jo-nas,’ Megan enunciated.

  ‘Dada.’

  Jonas felt as if a noose were encircling his neck. ‘Can you say Momma?’

  Trevor looked him straight in the eye and said, ‘Dada.’

  ‘He’s stuck,’ Angie said importantly.

  Megan laughed. ‘Not for long. In a few more weeks, he’ll probably say all kinds of things.’

  ‘Dada!’ Trevor shouted with vehemence, as if he was wondering why this man wasn’t answering his call.

  Jonas pulled himself out of his stupor and picked up the little boy who had quieted now that his wish had been granted. He knew both Angie and Trevor liked him, but had they started to think of him as a father? Until he’d heard the word ‘dada’ he hadn’t thought of what leaving would do to them when they’d already lost so many important people in their young lives.

  And now, because of his lack of foresight, they could well suffer again. If he didn’t end things now, his departure would only create more pain for everyone, including himself.

  That had been the whole purpose behind his rules. Keep relationships light and don’t attach strings of any kind. Now he would pay the price for ignoring his own advice.

  Damn! He was in a mess with only one way out—one way to minimize the damage.

  Megan laid a hand on his arm and a worried wrinkle appeared on her forehead. ‘Are you OK?’

  He focused his gaze on the distance rather than her face. ‘Yeah.’ He hoisted Trevor so that the toddler sat on his shoulders, high above the crowd.

  Thirty minutes later Trevor said, ‘Down,’ and Megan declared an end to the day. ‘Everyone’s tired,’ she told him.

  Angie didn’t argue, which only proved that Megan was right. ‘Can we come again?’ she asked.

  Jonas let Megan field Angie’s question. ‘Of course.’

  Angie tugged on his hand. ‘Will you come with us, too?’

  How could he answer? He knew what he had to do, but telling the little girl that he was walking out of their lives as quietly as he’d entered didn’t seem the smart thing to do. She was too tired to fully understand and he wasn’t ready for another scene.

  He glanced at Megan, who simply stared at him with a raised eyebrow, as if she wanted to hear his response as well.

  ‘We’ll see,’ he finally said.

  Apparently mollified by his reply, Angie dropped the subject.

  On the way home, Jonas remained silent, only interjecting a few comments when spoken to directly. The rest of the time he simply listened to Trevor babbling an occasional recognizable word and Angie describing everything she’d seen, from the monkeys swinging on the tree branches to the lions sleeping in the shade of their vine-covered canopy.

  Megan sensed something was wrong. Jonas was far too quiet for a man who’d been bursting with enthusiasm a few hours earlier. She could pinpoint the exact moment he’d withdrawn—the moment Trevor had said, ‘Dada.’

  The look on Jonas’s face had reflected his shock and for a few seconds pure, u
nadulterated terror.

  She didn’t need a Ph.D. after her name to know that Jonas was terrified. If he’d driven his own vehicle, he would probably have torn a strip off his tires in his haste to leave, but because they’d come together in her car, he was stuck.

  She intended to take advantage of the situation, and while he drove through Stanton she mentally prepared her arguments for the upcoming battle. And it would be a battle—a battle for their future—because she knew as surely as she knew her own name that Jonas would put an end to what they had.

  Covering her mouth with her hand as she stared out the window, Megan stifled a groan of pain. This had been the most marvelous week of her life, a week where she’d allowed herself to fantasize about a happy ending, and now the fantasy was fading before her eyes.

  By the time he pulled into her driveway, Trevor was sound asleep and Angie not far behind.

  ‘I’ll help you carry them inside,’ he said softly.

  ‘Thanks.’ She watched him hoist Angie to his shoulder with ease while she unbuckled Trevor. Watching Jonas carry the little girl like she was a precious treasure brought tears to her eyes.

  Jonas had so much to offer a family. Why couldn’t he see that?

  Why wouldn’t he see that?

  She didn’t want to lose him. She’d only put up a token resistance to Dwight’s defection but, then, she hadn’t loved him the way she loved Jonas. Determined to fight with everything she had, she carefully placed Trevor in his bed while Jonas did the same for Angie. Minutes later, she rejoined him in the living room.

  ‘That was quite a day,’ she said brightly.

  ‘We need to talk.’

  She nodded. ‘I thought you’d say that.’ Oh, please, help me be convincing, she thought as she sat on the sofa.

  ‘This isn’t going to work,’ he began.

  She’d known what was coming, but a part of her had hoped she’d misread his intent. Although she’d tried to prepare herself mentally, the blow still struck hard. If he wanted to run, she didn’t intend to make it easy for him.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘We wanted different things.’